This Week with Larry Miller Podcast
-
Ralph Lauren. Costco. $14.
Hear about Larry loafing in someone else's trailer on a movie set and how much he enjoyed it. Then we answer the question, "Does a bear joke in the woods?" We finally put the Poe in The Poetry Corner. And we do another lap around loving Leslie Nielsen for this week's Magic Movie Moment, plus a nod to the great actor Joe Grifasi. Quote of the week: "Oh, that's right, I'm a bear." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
-
Cool Hand Larry
This episode comes to a COMPLETE halt when a pretty girl walks by the studio and of course, we don't edit it out. Then, it's so hot outside that we read a poem about summer heat, even though it's only spring. Quote of the week: "In that case, let us know what it was like to hitchhike over there."
-
The Gold Diggers of 2013
Larry talks about the joys of a home-cooked meal with his family. And then everyone went into separate rooms. And we get not one but TWO jokes of the week! Then Larry says why the implausibility of "The Gold Diggers Of 1933" is exactly what makes it so great. Quote of the week: "You couldn't get a meal like this in a hotel." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
-
Larry Visits The Uncanny Valley
We hear about the Ballad of Yukon Jake, why the Three Stooges are so darn admirable and why wax statues are so darn creepy. Even though Larry's logey from too much Korean BBQ at lunch, he battles back from the nods to bring you this week's episode! Don't worry, it's a REGULAR joint, not a regular JOINT. Quote of the week: "The joke is fiiiiiine." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
-
KFC, The Maltese Falcon and A Six Pack
Hear how Larry's so-called manners lost him an agent. What goes best with KFC, The Maltese Falcon and a six-pack of beer? Nothing! Or should we say nobody. A listener asks if Larry wears a suit and tie when recording the podcast? Um, sure! The sweatpants and moccasins are just for the photo. What is he, Mr. Goodwrench? Quote of the week: "Look, Mr. Stupid." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
-
Sidetracked By Burt Lancaster
Larry gets so distracted by Burt Lancaster that he forgets to do The Poetry Corner. (Don't worry, the show still winds up going 17 minutes longer than it's supposed to.) We hear lots about Leslie Nielsen and Forbidden Planet. Plus, we get a triple shot of Joke Of The Week courtesy of classic comedian Myron Cohen! Quote of the week: "Audition, eh?"
-
Ode To Annette Funicello
Larry admits that he would have liked to kiss Annette Funicello and also that he loves "I Love Lucy." We get a double shot of the joke of the week, plus a pretty spectacular poem on The Poetry Corner. Quote of the week: "Boy, I sounded like someone's grandfather saying that." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
-
A Quick Message From Larry
Larry got booked on a new show early this week, so this week's This Week will be released later in the day on Wednesday, instead of the usual first thing on Wednesday morning. Thanks for your patience and stay tuned! The new episode will be along shortly. Nominum quid geminus!?
-
Larry At The Bat
Larry does not suffer April fools lightly. He looks up the origin of April Fools Day and the information doesn't make him like it any better. In honor of the start of baseball season, we hear a classic baseball poem and talk about the movie "The Pride of the Yankees." There is no joy in Level 5 City, the mighty Larry has struck out. Quote of the week: "He said something in old English. And then they skinned you." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
-
The Great Garbage Disposal Story
Many a PhD thesis has been written about who has told the greatest garbage disposal story of all time. Miguel De Cervantes? Sun Tzu? Hildegard of Bingen? With this episode, we believe we have settled the matter. Also, we bring you not one, but two excellent jokes of the week, another Ogden Nash poem and some odd inflections by Larry. Quote of the week: "Just wait, my son. Wait and watch."
-
What St. Patrick's Day Means To Me
Larry mulls over the meaning of St. Patrick's Day, we hear our show's motto in Klingon, Larry reluctantly tells this week's joke of the week and so much more. Quote of the week: "I take that back. EVERYTHING against snakes!"
-
Larry Swears Off Swearing
We hear how a young Larry got duped into swearing a lot to try to impress a girl. Guess how that worked out? And he talks about Plan 9 From Outer Space and how Daylight Savings Time should be a holiday. Quote of the week: "That's like blanking the blank if you blank the blank."
-
Larry Goes Gangster
Larry goes not gangsta, but gangster. This week, find out why the sequester means nothing, nothing means nothing, why you shouldn't hang out naked inside a refrigerator and why you shouldn't accept a ride to the airport from a guy named "Knuckles." Quote of the week: "This sounds like a lot of hooey."
-
Larry Miller, The Musical
Larry is absurdly amused by this week's musical question. Which leads into a hilarious story about his days in high school musicals. The Hamper Update becomes the hamper stalemate, then motorcycle jokes, funny poems and more. Remember, it's This Week With Larry Miller--the world's only 50 minute long half hour show! Quote of the week: "What an elegant bathroom we have made for ourselves."
-
Larry vs. Presidents Day
Larry struggles to get excited about Presidents Day and lobbies for a better holiday, like Sean Connery Day or better yet, Bond Girls Day. Now, there's a holiday worth closing a bank over. Plus a bonus poem in this week's "Poetry Corner." Quote of the week: "A good boy always carries a clean hankie."
-
The Split Pea Soup Diet
Larry drives up the coast for his first live appearance and can't stop eating split pea soup. We wait in vain hoping to hear the Pope to say, "Nominum quid geminus?" Plus, the premiere of a new segment, "The Magic Movie Moment." Quote of the week: "It's like a blimp shot."
-
Super Bowl Food Doesn't Exist
Larry laments that there the Super Bowl doesn't have any purpose-made novelty foods, like the rest of American holidays. That's right, we're calling it a holiday. Larry is also unimpressed by too many replays or the fact that the Harbaugh brothers are brothers. We have one of the best Poetry Corner segments so far. Quote of the week: "Get your own show."
-
What IS Show Business?
Larry talks about the difference between being an entertainer and inspired lunacy. We hear about Andy Kaufman playing at Carnegie Hall, 99 bottles of beer and joke-telling during a city-wide blackout. Then we wonder where Car 54 really is. Quote of the week: "Walk that plank."
-
Crime Just Isn't Funny Anymore!
Inspired by a Jimmy Breslin quote Larry waxes nostalgic about the "crooks" and other characters he met while his father worked as a criminal defense attorney. We also learn how to REALLY ruin a 1964 Fury III and why honest people can't be trusted.
-
Free Bar-B-Que and Other Delights
Hear about the joy of free bar-b-que, buffets and the debatable merits of the McRib. We also hear about cheap Brooklyn coats, how to repel alien invaders and how to give birth on a kitchen table, not once, but twice. Quote of the week: "There are cavemen that would look at you and say, 'Take it easy.'"
-
Larry Miller Returns!
Larry returns to his podcast and tells the story of the accident that put him in the hospital and sidelined him for nine months. Quote of the week: "Hey, Dad, didn't you break your brain?"
-
Everyone Will Know How To Juggle (Rebroadcast)
Larry's new year's resolution is to teach you the difference between a tuba and a sousaphone. (Setting achievable goals is a key to a successful life.) Gather up your foul weather gear in your best rucksack. Larry talks about the seemingly endless sheets of rain that are soaking the Southern California area. It's OK, we really need it. Hear "Our Man Miller's" imitation of his own ringtone, which is, of course, even funnier than the orignal ringtone. Then he talks about working with Bobbie...
-
Larry vs. The Gigantic Slug (Rebroadcast)
The hamper update to end all hamper updates. We know we've said it before, but this time, we mean it. Yes, the hamper update takes an unexpected turn that was completely expected. By the time it's over, Larry is as close to being the Dad from A Christmas Story as he could possibly be. Larry saves his wife from a bloodthirsty, gigantic slug. And does soap-bar melding float your boat? Then get ready for the RETURN OF THE FIVEFECTA, or "How Larry Got His Soap Mojo Back." But wait, there's more!...
-
Larry's Annual Christmas Story (NEW!)
We couldn't let the tradition lapse, so we snuck Larry into the studio just to record the annual re-telling of his Christmas story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" Merry Christmas to all of our listeners. Thanks again for your patience and support. Quote of the week: "If you needed a gun, call me. He'll get you one."
-
Live Larry and Prosper (Rebroadcast)
Larry Miller talks about the death and burial of a loyal shirt and the socks that loved it. And admits to being a trekkie. Yes, Larry powers through a cold to deliver another slam-bang-pow (cough) show. After weeks of preaching the wonders of the spit-bucket, Larry talks about the one time he kept eating food on a set. Yes, on this episode, we hear about Larry eating turkey with William Shatner for seven hours. And so much more. Until next week, live Larry and prosper. Quote of the week:...
-
You Can Never Fall Off The Floor (Rebroadcast)
You can fall off a barstool, but you can never fall off the floor. Or so says Larry in this episode. Larry talks about bending an elbow with some fans in Tallahassee. Also, in lieu of a secret handshake for Larry Miller Drinking Society members, we come up with a verbal code. We'd tell you about it here, but it's verbal! You'll just have to listen to this episode. Then Larry talks about being persistently lunkheaded or lunkheadedly persistent with a big-time talent agent in New York City...
-
Larry is a Rake & Boulevardier! (Rebroadcast)
Our rakish raconteur talks about why a poor man's tow shot is better than a regular tow shot. Plus, hear about the horror of new hand towels! And could this latest hamper update be the last hamper update ever? Is Larry taking matters into his own hands? Is he putting this controversy to rest once and for all? Why, it's inconthievable! Quote of the week: "I hope Drano hires a million people a day."
-
Absinthe Makes The Heart Go Wander (Rebroadcast)
"The theme of this show is all about throwing things up," says Larry. Well, yes and no. On a completely unrelated note, the Upland chapter of the LMDS checks in, sharing an absinthe-based drink recipe. We ruminate, confab and otherwise mull over what exactly absinthe is and ain't. Also in this episode, Larry is a world-class "opener and closer of things" and isn't shy about admitting it. He once again expresses disgust and general loathing for the metric system. Who's with us? Burma?...
-
Larry Has Stockholm Syndrome? (Rebroadcast)
Larry gets lost in a convention of Elvis impersonators at an Indian casino and, not surprisingly, has the time of life. Is Larry losing the battle of the wills? Find out in this week's HAMPER UPDATE! And what do goofy guards in South Africa have to do with Sonny Burgess and the Legendary Pacers? Listen in and find out! Nominum quid geminus!? Quote of the week: "She knew I was, what's the word...lying."
-
Larry Announces His Return & Dine and Dash With Larry...
Larry intros this rerun with an announcement about his return to the podcasting airwaves. For you Larryphiles out there, note that this is the episode that was recorded the day after the "Lost Episode," which was aired last week. Stay tuned at the end of this show for a little bonus 3 minute promo for this episode that we're pretty sure was never used. In this episode: Larry speaks out against the dine and ditch. You know, the chew and screw? The eat and fleet? The mash and dash? The ol'...
-
The Lost Episode & A New Message From Larry!
We have a special Halloween treat for you! We've uncovered a "lost episode" of This Week With Larry Miller! Larry talks about getting nervous around authority figures and his unsuccessful attempts to turn a profit on drinking scotch. Plus, he gets scoffed at by hobos. This episode was originally recorded June 6th, 2011 and was supposed to be TWWLM episode #223. For reasons no one can remember, we decided to re-record the episode the next day. The result was the episode "Dine and Dash With...
-
Larry Finds a Nude Beach (Rebroadcast)
Larry stumbles across a nude beach and makes a spectacle. No, not a pair of glasses so he could see better, he makes a spectacle with his reaction. The great hunter returns from Vancouver with tales of long walks, comedic cheese-takes (not to be confused with comedic cheesesteaks) and eating lunch next to a toxic waste cleanup site. Larry also espouses the philosophy of finding "another tiny drop," and no, Mr. Funny Person, he's not talking about booze. Well, not this time, anyway. In...
-
We're Driving to Moose Jaw! (Rebroadcast)
**We've thrown in a little bonus at the end of this rerun, a 3 minute audio promo for this episode that we found in our archives.** A special international episode of TWWLM! Yes, Larry gets called away on short notice to work on a movie in Canada, but we still figure out a way to bring you this week's This Week. We link up to Larry through the Sensaround Satellite system to the Level Five North studios in Flin Flon, Manitoba. Okay, Larry called in with Skype from his hotel room in Vancouver....
-
Musso and Frank and Sween (Rebroadcast)
Larry tells tales from the start of the Million Martini March and shares signs of the end of the world. We hear about Larry and the crew's trip our for hot shaves, martinis, chicken and waffles. Then he talks about a commercial he saw while watching the Jets game that upset him to the very core of his soul. By the end of this episode, you'll realize the huge difference between "and...?" and "and by..." Also, Larry waxes nostalgic for the likes of Anita Ekberg and Anne Jeffreys. Then we hear...
-
Super-Daddy Martinis and Superhero Underwear...
Hear how to maximize the laughs you can get from an $8 pair of underwear.Plus, we have a lotta errata. Larry offers a REALLY good apology to Ray’s Really Good Beef Jerky. Larry also talks about the joy he gets from being wrong and apologizing. Plus, the joke of the week, a fecta update, plus the story of a boy and his gun. Awwwww.Quote of the week: “Quick like the bunny. Not slow like the bear.”
-
Larry Miller: Truck Drivin' S.O.B. (Rebroadcast)
Larry grinds the granny gear as a chain smokin', C.B. jokin' truck driving S.O.B. (With all due respect to Deadbolt.) Yes, hear about how a teenaged Larry bluffed his way into a job behind the wheel of a commercial truck.The battle of the battered hamper continues in the Miller household. Larry and his wife both respond by throwing their clothes in a pile on the floor for three weeks. Larry again talks about his reluctance to chuck worn out clothes. Then we hear about a listener who is...
-
How To Juggle Hot Wings (Rebroadcast)
Larry Miller -- tool maker, stacker of wheat -- opens with a tribute to actor Warren Stevens, then segues into memories of Ricardo Montalban and The Naked Gun. Then he talks about how he's not a hero with hot food, yet he does manage to rescue some hot wings from peril.Is this episode better than pork? You make the call!Quote of the week: "I'm usually unabashed."
-
Larry's Wardrobe Provided By Campbell's Soup...
Larry takes Jerry Seinfeld and George Wallace to help him pick out a a brand new 1989 Mercury Colony Park wagon back in, well, 1989 obviously. Porsche? Nah. Camaro? Feh. The Colony Park winds up being his chick magnet! Also, Larry talks about his wardrobe, including his 30-year-old pants and why there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. Don't judge, you! And find out the the best place for clam chowder. Is it Boston? Is it San Francisco? Is it in your shirt pocket?And Larry returns from...
-
Larry's Really Good Episode (Rebroadcast)
Larry talks about spending an involuntary vacation in the snow. Plus, we hear about his search for really good beef jerky, really good pistachios and really good martini olives.Then Larry welcomes the new year, but not for too long. That's enough. And Larry teases us with the possible existence of an eightfecta, possibly to be known colloquially as the octafecta?We also have a long overdue and very serious hamper update. And a joke of the week? And a safety razor update? That's our update...
-
Martini 101 With Larry Miller (Rebroadcast)
Larry does an unplanned 20 minute tutorial on making martinis, then apologizes for his previous apologies. This is the first time a drink recipe has included the expressions, "Show it who's boss," "Big triple to the power alley" and "Beat it around the fleet."As always, all stories are guaranteed true and stirred, not shaken.Quote of the week: "Fellas, you look lonely. Would you like to meet someone who's just like you?"
-
3 Kinds of People That Walk in LA (Rebroadcast)
Three kinds of people walk in LA. And courtesy of a dead car battery, Larry becomes one of them and fails to conquer time. Then Larry tells of his longing for McClure's pickles and of hinge abuses around his house during possibly his most rambunctious hamper update ever.A John Carradine AND a David Carradine reference in one episode? Plus Larry gets the website address right for 3 weeks in a row? Plus, this is our longest episode ever by 46 whole seconds! You're welcome! (This IS a half-hour...
-
Larry Miller Visits The Book Suppository (Rebroadcast)
Larry talks about his trip to Dallas, continuing his tradition of plugging shows once they are already past. Then Larry visits "Camp Shakeitoff," a lovely place where we won't be talking about feelings and there will be no therapists on speed dial.Also, we hear about possums and their habit of playing, well, you know, possum. Plus, two new segments! And of course, that means two new wacky sound effects.As always, all stories are guaranteed true, Pluto is a planet and don't rat to Larry's...
-
Larry Breaks A Leg--Figuratively (Rebroadcast)
Spit buckets and broken legs are afoot in this week's episode as Larry talks about some of his favorite show business superstitions and traditions. Who has better taste in Clairol Girls, Larry or his son? YOU make the call! The good news is that Dr. Laxamana has returned to work, more gruntled than ever! Remember, all stories guaranteed true and Homer is Homer! And this week's guest star is Larry Miller.Quote of the week: "It was the Earl of Oxford who worked in the box factory."
-
The Make 'Em Tough In Texas (Rebroadcast)
Larry hopes you screwed up Valentine’s Day. Hear why he thinks it’s a good idea to flub this holiday or at least phone it in. See you at the all-night jewelry store!On what seems to be a related matter but is not, Larry once again professes his love of being wrong. Then we hear about a drinker he met on a plane that put him to shame. This, plus a joke, two updates and about 14 topics we never got to on this week’s This Week With Larry Miller!Quote of the week: “Get a load of you. Get a load...
-
Put That Shirt on A Fat Dummy (Rebroadcast)
Larry is smitten with Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Scarlett Johansson. Will his love be requited, even though the top of his head is missing?Larry talks about how hard modeling is. Don't hate him because he's beautiful. Then we hear about a woman who wouldn't believe that Larry was Larry and why you shouldn't bother starting a diet until after the Super Bowl.And we have a new update, the update update. Is this the update to end all updates? Or is it no update at all? (A gong rings in...
-
The Million Martini March (Rebroadcast)
Larry tells how to hide 20 bottles of Jameson's behind a quart of milk and a sheepish grin. Then we hear about how in marriage math, one hour can equal TWO POINT EIGHT HOURS!Also, in this incredibly historic episode, we launch the Larry Miller Drinking Society Museum of Glad Tidings and the Larry Miller Drinking Society's Million Martini March! Some day, you'll tell your Grandkids where you were when you heard about this. We also get a visit from the joke of the week!Quote of the week:...
-
Two Wrongs Possibly Make A Right (Rebrodcast)
Sanctimonious loudmouths and hamper slackers alike receive Larry's high dudgeon this week. Yes, we get another acrimonious (but not sanctimonious) Hamper Update and a bonus joke of the week -- all at no extra charge!Will Larry read the stage direction in the Shari's Berries ad copy again? Will he slice his face to ribbons again? Smart money is on "Oh, mmmmmaybe."How is safety razor shaving related to the movie Network? How is the Hamper Update related the movie Patton? Tune in to our longest...
-
The Game's Over and You've Won (Rebroadcast)
Larry takes apart his trademark sign off -- just a little bit. After getting grouchy with his family on the way to Fab Dogs, he winds up laughing his way into Ralphs. Or should we say, "Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs."Larry then tells a very funny joke. Plus we get a hamper update, a fivefecta update AND a leg lamp all in one episode! Don't bother pinching yourself. You're not dreaming. Also on this week's This Week, our engineeer, Dr. Chris Laxamana, LMDS is MIA and presumed snoggered.All...
-
A Message From Larry! Plus One Million Downloads Can't...
The old fivefecter himself checks in with a message for the LMDS at the top of this week's show!Then, in this week's rebroadcast, Larry eats hot Cambodian food with a tunnel rat from Drake's Drum. And so goes the world's most enigmatic episode description. Eh, shift happens.Yes, hear about Larry dining with one of his drinking pals, whose food was so spicy, Larry couldn't even stand to SMELL it!Also, baseball players are funnier than you think. Especially when they're pretending someone...
-
Musso and Frank and Sween (Rebroadcast)
Larry tells tales from the start of the Million Martini March and shares signs of the end of the world. We hear about Larry and the crew's trip our for hot shaves, martinis, chicken and waffles. Then he talks about a commercial he saw while watching the Jets game that upset him to the very core of his soul. By the end of this episode, you'll realize the huge difference between "and...?" and "and by..."Also, Larry waxes nostalgic for the likes of Anita Ekberg and Anne Jeffreys. Then we hear...
-
This Episode is Gluten Free! (Rebroadcast)
Larry goes to the emergency room with his son after he gets beaned playing baseball. Larry tells us how to enjoy spending time in a hospital and how to hail the world's biggest cab. Not in the same night, though.Then we hear about Larry trying to act like a hot shot while at the hardware store. Other important topics covered include Larry's love of blue Bic pens and yellow legal pads, his battles over the air conditioner in his house.Listen to this show and you'll be happy. And we'll be...
-
Live From Larry's House! Redux
Another encore presentation! Yes, you remember Roger, Dwayne and Encore Presentation from What's Happening, right?Larry goes into the lioness' den and does a hamper update from his own home! Yes, Larry risks life and limb by doing a hamper update right under his wife's nose. How could that be a problem?Yes, Larry's about to head out for a bunch of dates on the road, so we thought we would rehearse some remote records before he steps out into the world, so this show is brought to you live by...
-
Larry Double Downs on Borscht Redux
This episode contains more borscht references than you can shake a soup spoon at. Hear beefy hunk Larry Miller explain the subtle comedic difference between "Ah" and "A-ha." We get a fistful of updates, including the most acrimonious hamper update to date. Then Larry tells a story about battling with other comics with food in a diner back in the day. This episode is over. Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!Quote of the week: "I am 'In-The-Groove Jackson' now."
-
The Five Levels of Drinking Redux Redux
A rare outtake from the TWWLM archives is unearthed and aired for your enjoyment and Colonel Jeff's shame.Then, an encore presentation of a redux! A redux squared?Larry performs one of his signature comedy routines, "The Five Levels of Drinking." This is the first time Larry has ever done this bit NOT in front of a live audience!He then urges caution on the rules for a proposed Larry Miller drinking game. By the way...Later, Larry placates the stateside listeners who feel like they are not...
-
Larry Update & A Run-In With Keith Richards Redux
Larry gets murdered (on screen) and meets a rock icon all in one episode! Hear Larry describe running into Keith Richards in an airport, after eyeballing his wife. Is Keith Richards the coolest guy ever? Possibly, but you'll have to listen to find out for sure.Then Larry talks about his role in the new Bobcat Goldthwait movie and goes into great detail regarding the craft of being killed onscreen. Wait, are you supposed to say "spolier alert" BEFORE or AFTER you say stuff like that? We'll...
-
Larry Update & Eating Charlie Sheen For Lunch
If Larry was a hot dog, what would he be? You've heard Larry obsess over pies, booze, soap and pretzels. Could hot dogs be far behind? No.Larry talks about eating a hot dog named after Charlie Sheen. He compares and contrasts his hot dog stand dining experience with that of a big-ticket steak joint in Beverly Hills. You may be surprised which one he thought was "time well spent." (Unless you are a regular listener, in which case, the answer will be quite obvious.)Hear our man Larry go...
-
Larry Update and Keep Pulling That Ripcord Redux
A Larry update from producer Colonel Jeff -- Larry is doing really, really well, but is going to need more time to recuperate before he gets back into the studio. Thanks for all of your kind comments, support and patience! Rest assured, he IS on the mend!--Larry takes a break from his full-time job of turing off lights in his house to sit down for this week's podcast. We hear about how Larry's alleged coffee pot of death that tries to kill him in the middle of the night. Then Larry talks...
-
Larry Update and Does Level Six Exist?
Another encore presentation as we wait for Larry to heal up! Feel free to sign Larry's virtual get well card at larrymillerpodcast.com.Larry muses hypothetical about the possible existence of a level of drinking above level five! Does it have something to do with fractals or worm holes? Or just a hole in your head? String theorists, take a powder, chumps!We also get a brief history of boy tenors and other vaudeville schtick, a safety razor update and of course, the joke of the week. Stay...
-
Larry Update II (Electric Boogaloo) And Leslie Nielsen,...
An update on Larry's recouperation and an encore presentation of one of our most beloved episodes! Feel free to sign Larry's virtual get well card at larrymillerpodcast.com.Leslie Nielsen performs a trouser cough symphony for Larry's parents backstage at Letterman.Also, Larry preaches sympathy for a knife salesman who has lost his focus. Spoiler alert -- it's not pretty. Then Larry admits to stepping out on his steady supermarket. And not just to broaden his kids' horizons. All stories...
-
A Larry Update & The Clumsy Coffee Cavalcade Redux
A Larry update -- as some of you have already heard our man Larry, stacker of soap, our fearless (and hairless) leader, defender of Pluto and the great updater took a spill last week. He conked the old noggin pretty good and wound up in the hospital. We're giving you a Larry Update at the top of this show. Also, feel free to sign Larry's virtual get well card at larrymillerpodcast.comWe're presenting an (ahem) encore presentation of one of Colonel Jeff Fox's personal favorite episodes, the...
-
How To Juggle Hot Wings
Larry Miller -- tool maker, stacker of wheat -- opens with a tribute to actor Warren Stevens, then segues into memories of Ricardo Montalban and The Naked Gun. Then he talks about how he's not a hero with hot food, yet he does manage to rescue some hot wings from peril.Is this episode better than pork? You make the call!Quote of the week: "I'm usually unabashed."
-
Litterbug Larry, Scourge of Springfield
Pardon our internet hiccups, Larry does a remote show from the luxury of room 824 of the Sheraton Monarch hotel in Springfield, MA. This week, Larry's beloved macintosh apples get him the hairy eyeball from onlookers who think he's littering when he's actually recycling, or composting, or sharing the core with squirrels. Listen, don't YOU judge, too!Quote of the week: "We're gonna get cabinets made of meat."
-
Nude Not Descending A Staircase
Powered by pickles (delicious McClure's pickles to be exact) Larry launches another poetry-packed, joke-jammed podcast. This week, we hear about what Larry finds so disappointing about "Nude Descending A Staircase." Then he tells us how many times his car keys can be lost in 20 square feet of space, in the span of an hour. (Spolier alert: Marcel Duchamp is blamed for both.) Set your phasers on "mirthful" and tune in to this week's This Week With Larry Miller!Quote of the week: "It's not...
-
Larry Gets a Smell Tattoo
Larry lifts a line from Leno to explain getting sprayed by a cologne skunk at Macy's -- a smell tattoo. Neither silkwood showers not Irish Spring can liberate Larry from this odious odiferousness.We also hear about Larry watching "Wrath of Khan" with his family and we have a new segment -- the poetry corner! Beatniks and highbrows, rejoice! Plus, Uncle Arnie, from the "Does He Drink Coffee" story sits in the control room during the record!Quote of the week: "I have gone through an Indiana...
-
The Geopolitics of Socks
Larry needs a U.N. resolution just to keep his feet warm. Yes, Larry gets into a mental logjam trying to buy some socks. Then he wonders what something is worth if you get it at a discount. Give Larry some credit. No, literally, give him some credit. The battle of the safety razor blade continues. Then Larry pines for macintosh apples (the fruit, not the computer) and waxes nostalgic about Venus Paradise (the coloring set, not the strip joint near the airport).Later, we hear about Washington...
-
Larry's Little White Lie
Larry genuinely loves to be wrong. But this week, he loves to be right! That's the truth. Not a little white lie. That comes later, if we can figure out what a white lie exactly is.Three new updates this week! Now with semi-relevant sound effects! Larry goes overboard with the "Burial At Sea Update." Then we get a charge out of the "Dead Battery Update." Finally, he puts the "mental" in "Environmental Update." Curly lightbulbs, watch your back.Quote of the week: "Prisoners get better toilet...
-
3 Kinds of People That Walk in LA
Three kinds of people walk in LA. And courtesy of a dead car battery, Larry becomes one of them and fails to conquer time. Then Larry tells of his longing for McClure's pickles and of hinge abuses around his house during possibly his most rambunctious hamper update ever.A John Carradine AND a David Carradine reference in one episode? Plus Larry gets the website address right for 3 weeks in a row? Plus, this is our longest episode ever by 46 whole seconds! You're welcome! (This IS a half-hour...
-
They Make 'Em Tough In Texas
Larry hopes you screwed up Valentine's Day. Hear why he thinks it's a good idea to flub this holiday or at least phone it in. See you at the all-night jewelry store!On what seems to be a related matter but is not, Larry once again professes his love of being wrong. Then we hear about a drinker he met on a plane that put him to shame. This, plus a joke, two updates and about 14 topics we never got to on this week's This Week With Larry Miller!Quote of the week: "Get a load of you. Get a load...
-
Two Wrongs Possibly Make A Right
Sanctimonious loudmouths and hamper slackers alike receive Larry's high dudgeon this week. Yes, we get another acrimonious (but not sanctimonious) Hamper Update and a bonus joke of the week -- all at no extra charge!Will Larry read the stage direction in the Shari's Berries ad copy again? Will he slice his face to ribbons again? Smart money is on "Oh, mmmmmaybe."How is safety razor shaving related to the movie Network? How is the Hamper Update related the movie Patton? Tune in to our longest...
-
Larry Double Downs on Borscht
This episode contains more borscht references than you can shake a soup spoon at. Hear beefy hunk Larry Miller explain the subtle comedic difference between "Ah" and "A-ha." We get a fistful of updates, including the most acrimonious hamper update to date. Then Larry tells a story about battling with other comics with food in a diner back in the day. This episode is over. Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!Quote of the week: "I am 'In-The-Groove Jackson' now."
-
Put That Shirt on A Fat Dummy
Larry is smitten with Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Scarlett Johansson. Will his love be requited, even though the top of his head is missing?Larry talks about how hard modeling is. Don't hate him because he's beautiful. Then we hear about a woman who wouldn't believe that Larry was Larry and why you shouldn't bother starting a diet until after the Super Bowl.And we have a new update, the update update. Is this the update to end all updates? Or is it no update at all? (A gong rings in...
-
Martini 101 With Larry Miller
Larry does an unplanned 20 minute tutorial on making martinis, then apologizes for his previous apologies. This is the first time a drink recipe has included the expressions, "Show it who's boss," "Big triple to the power alley" and "Beat it around the fleet."As always, all stories are guaranteed true and stirred, not shaken.Quote of the week: "Fellas, you look lonely. Would you like to meet someone who's just like you?"
-
Super-Daddy Martinis and Superhero Underwear
Hear how to maximize the laughs you can get from an $8 pair of underwear. Plus, we have a lotta errata. Larry offers a REALLY good apology to Ray's Really Good Beef Jerky. Larry also talks about the joy he gets from being wrong and apologizing. Plus, the joke of the week, a fecta update, plus the story of a boy and his gun. Awwwww.Quote of the week: "Quick like the bunny. Not slow like the bear."
-
Larry's Really Good Episode
Larry talks about spending an involuntary vacation in the snow. Plus, we hear about his search for really good beef jerky, really good pistachios and really good martini olives.Then Larry welcomes the new year, but not for too long. That's enough. And Larry teases us with the possible existence of an eightfecta, possibly to be known colloquially as the octafecta?We also have a long overdue and very serious hamper update. And a joke of the week? And a safety razor update? That's our update...
-
A Yearly Annual Holiday Tradition Begins
Larry starts a new holiday tradition with the retelling of his favorite holiday-related story, colloquially known as "Does He Drink Coffee?" Like a visit from an old friend, it's great to hear this story re-told. Plus, we have a visit from our old friends The Joke of the Week (not-so-naughty) and the Safety Razor Update (absolutely nice). From Larry Miller, Colonel Jeff Fox and Dr. Chris Laxamana, we thank you for being here with us. It means the world to us. Let's all take the yoke off, if...
-
Does Level Six Exist?
Larry muses hypothetical about the possible existence of a level of drinking above level five! Does it have something to do with fractals or worm holes? Or just a hole in your head? String theorists, take a powder, chumps!We also get a brief history of boy tenors and other vaudeville schtick, a safety razor update and of course, the joke of the week. Stay tuned past the 42:00 minute mark for a little bonus and visit our show's Facebook page to see a picture of what made Larry react like that...
-
Musso and Frank and Sween
Larry tells tales from the start of the Million Martini March and shares signs of the end of the world. We hear about Larry and the crew's trip our for hot shaves, martinis, chicken and waffles. Then he talks about a commercial he saw while watching the Jets game that upset him to the very core of his soul. By the end of this episode, you'll realize the huge difference between "and...?" and "and by..."Also, Larry waxes nostalgic for the likes of Anita Ekberg and Anne Jeffreys. Then we hear...
-
The Million Martini March
Larry tells how to hide 20 bottles of Jameson's behind a quart of milk and a sheepish grin. Then we hear about how in marriage math, one hour can equal TWO POINT EIGHT HOURS!Also, in this incredibly historic episode, we launch the Larry Miller Drinking Society Museum of Glad Tidings and the Larry Miller Drinking Society's Million Martini March! Some day, you'll tell your Grandkids where you were when you heard about this. We also get a visit from the joke of the week!Quote of the week:...
-
Live Larry and Prosper
Larry Miller talks about the death and burial of a loyal shirt and the socks that loved it. And admits to being a trekkie.Yes, Larry powers through a cold to deliver another slam-bang-pow (cough) show. After weeks of preaching the wonders of the spit-bucket, Larry talks about the one time he kept eating food on a set. Yes, on this episode, we hear about Larry eating turkey with William Shatner for seven hours. And so much more.Until next week, live Larry and prosper.Quote of the week: "I...
-
Larry Miller Visits The Book Suppository
Larry talks about his trip to Dallas, continuing his tradition of plugging shows once they are already past. Then Larry visits "Camp Shakeitoff," a lovely place where we won't be talking about feelings and there will be no therapists on speed dial.Also, we hear about possums and their habit of playing, well, you know, possum. Plus, two new segments! And of course, that means two new wacky sound effects.As always, all stories are guaranteed true, Pluto is a planet and don't rat to Larry's...
-
Keep Pulling That Ripcord
Larry takes a break from his full-time job of turing off lights in his house to sit down for this week's podcast. We hear about how Larry's alleged coffee pot of death that tries to kill him in the middle of the night. Then Larry talks about almost rear-ending a cop car while trying to read its bumper sticker.Later, a baffling trip to buy a new razor leaves Larry waxing nostalgic for his long, lost safety razor and someone in the studio inadvertently does an impression of Dr. Strangelove....
-
Larry Breaks A Leg (Figuratively)
Spit buckets and broken legs are afoot in this week's episode as Larry talks about some of his favorite show business superstitions and traditions. Who has better taste in Clairol Girls, Larry or his son? YOU make the call! The good news is that Dr. Laxamana has returned to work, more gruntled than ever! Remember, all stories guaranteed true and Homer is Homer! And this week's guest star is Larry Miller.This show is also now available through the FREE Adam Carolla app, available from the...
-
Vanessa Branch
Show Summary At the top of the show, Adam discusses bringing his daughter Natalia to Sunday’s football games at Happy Endings. Adam also responds to comments about the new website and app, and Alison and Bryan talk about flying around the country to do odd jobs for their eBay contest winners. Moving to the news, the first couple stories are ...
-
David Alan Grier
Aired 11.4.2011 Adam announces the release of the newly improved website, as well as the official Adam Carolla Show App (now available for your Android or iPhone). DAG asks Adam about his relationship with his daughter Natalia, and Adam says that she’s maybe warming up to him a bit more. Adam also talks about young guys with beards who ...
-
What Can’t Adam Complain About
Posted: 11.3.2011 At the top of the show, Adam complains about similar names that only serve to confuse people. Bald Bryan then gives updates on his health and brain tumor, and Adam thanks the Big Pharmacies for their help and doesn’t understand why everyone wants them to be taken down. Moving into the news with Alison, the top story ...
-
Alec Baldwin Surprise Call-In
Posted 11.2.2011 Adam opens the show by discussing the one-year anniversary since the release of his first book, even though he’s not sure if anyone in his family has read it. Adam then follows up on the ridiculously offensive Caylee Anthony costume he saw on TMZ, and Alison opens the news discussing Casey Anthony pleading the 5th amendment 60 ...
-
Larry Miller Podcast
Posted: 11.1.2011 As the show opens up, Adam talks with Larry and the gang about the ridiculousness of punk saxophone. He then talks about going trick-or-treating with the kids, and how each kid has a different style of asking for candy. Later, Adam talks about a proud moment he had with his son when they bonded over shitty music. ...
-
The Game’s Over and You’ve Won
Larry takes apart his trademark sign off — just a little bit. After getting grouchy with his family on the way to Fab Dogs, he winds up laughing his way into Ralphs. Or should we say, “Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs.” Larry then tells a very funny joke. Plus we get a hamper update, a fivefecta [...]
-
Larry’s Wardrobe Provided By Campbell’s Soup
Larry takes Jerry Seinfeld and George Wallace to help him pick out a a brand new 1989 Mercury Colony Park wagon back in, well, 1989 obviously. Porsche? Nah. Camaro? Feh. The Colony Park winds up being his chick magnet! Also, Larry talks about his wardrobe, including his 30-year-old pants and why there is absolutely nothing [...]
-
Absinthe Makes The Heart Go Wander
“The theme of this show is all about throwing things up,” says Larry. Well, yes and no. On a completely unrelated note, the Upland chapter of the LMDS checks in, sharing an absinthe-based drink recipe. We ruminate, confab and otherwise mull over what exactly absinthe is and ain’t. Also in this episode, Larry is a [...]
-
You Can Never Fall Off The Floor
You can fall off a barstool, but you can never fall off the floor. Or so says Larry in this episode. Larry talks about bending an elbow with some fans in Tallahassee. Also, in lieu of a secret handshake for Larry Miller Drinking Society members, we come up with a verbal code. We’d tell you [...]
-
Larry vs. The Gigantic Slug
The hamper update to end all hamper updates. We know we’ve said it before, but this time, we mean it. Yes, the hamper update takes an unexpected turn that was completely expected. By the time it’s over, Larry is as close to being the Dad from A Christmas Story as he could possibly be. Larry [...]
-
Larry is a Rake & Boulevardier!
Our rakish raconteur talks about why a poor man’s tow shot is better than a regular tow shot. Plus, hear about the horror of new hand towels! And could this latest hamper update be the last hamper update ever? Is Larry taking matters into his own hands? Is he putting this controversy to rest once [...]
-
Larry Has Stockholm Syndrome?
Larry gets lost in a convention of Elvis impersonators at an Indian casino and, not surprisingly, has the time of life. Is Larry losing the battle of the wills? Find out in this week’s HAMPER UPDATE! And what do goofy guards in South Africa have to do with Sonny Burgess and the Legendary Pacers? Listen [...]
-
Live From Larry’s House!
Larry goes into the lioness’ den and does a hamper update from his own home! Yes, Larry risks life and limb by doing a hamper update right under his wife’s nose. How could that be a problem? Yes, Larry’s about to head out for a bunch of dates on the road, so we thought we [...]
-
Larry’s Clumsy Coffee Cavalcade
Larry spills an impossible number of cups of coffee in an absurdly short period of time. And then almost spills some more. Then he talks about letting his kids grow up and why it’s not just OK, it’s the right thing to do. Show Summary And we have yet another… HAMPER UPDATE! Yes, the hamper [...]
-
Drunken Ballpark Fistfights
The sound of fist on face makes Larry wax nostalgic for lazy summer days at the ballpark. Or to put it another way, “Hey, Fatso!” Show Summary And then wax nostalgic for this (ahem) encore presentation of one of our favorite episodes from the very early days of TWLLM. The heady days when we didn’t [...]
-
The TSA Took My Toothpaste Away
The TSA nabs a full tube of Larry’s toothpaste and then gets grabby with him. But Larry is compliant, if not soft and pliant. Also in this episode, Larry continues his love affair with newspapers and the ink-stained wretches that write them. And speaking of news, a chapter of the Larry Miller Drinking Society makes [...]
-
The Tao of Larry
Is this episode your path to total spiritual enlightenment? Legally, we can’t say yes, so, let’s just say more than likely. Consider the following zen koans presented in this week’s episode. Is a yogurt maker still a yogurt maker if it has never been used to make yogurt? And what is the sound of two [...]
-
We’re Driving to Moose Jaw!
A special international episode of TWWLM! Yes, Larry gets called away on short notice to work on a movie in Canada, but we still figure out a way to bring you this week's This Week.
-
This Episode is Gluten Free!
Larry goes to the emergency room with his son after he gets beaned playing baseball. Larry tells us how to enjoy spending time in a hospital and how to hail the world’s biggest cab. Not in the same night, though. Then we hear about Larry trying to act like a hot shot while at the [...]
-
Larry On Playboy and In Penthouse
The finer points of Playboy playmates are discussed on this week’s show. And you’ve heard of “flop sweats?” Well, Larry talks about coming down with a case of “porn sweats” while trying to buy Penthouse and Playboy magazines. Larry admits to not knowing anything about cars or electronics. (Please feign surprise.) And he once again [...]
-
One Million Downloads Can’t Be Wrong
Larry eats hot Cambodian food with a tunnel rat from Drake’s Drum. And so goes the world’s most enigmatic episode description. Eh, shift happens. Yes, hear about Larry dining with one of his drinking pals, whose food was so spicy, Larry couldn’t even stand to SMELL it! Also, baseball players are funnier than you think. [...]
Recommended Shows
PROGRAM INFORMATION
- Glendale, CA
- Comedy
- ACE Broadcasting
- English
-
Visit the station website
Email the show
Update show info
More information
Larry Miller is best known for his stand-up comedy and unforgettable roles in films such as Waiting For Guffman, Best in Show and 10 Things I Hate About You. Now he brings his sharp wit and genteel manner to his very own podcast, This Week With Larry Miller!Each week, Larry tells stories from his own life, in the tradition of great American radio raconteurs like Jean Shepherd and Garrison Keilor. Miller’s tales are smart without being stuffy or hostile, and uplifting without being naive.
