Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Interviews in Polyamory and Swinging

Sonia and Gabe were originally on the podcast back on Episode 193 and today we have the honor of having them back to talk about how their partnership has shifted and grown since then. Sonia and Gabe have been together for over two decades and a few years ago they intentionally removed the sexual component of their relationship. In our beautiful conversation today they share how they reached their decision and how they continue to deepen their connection, intimacy and commitment to one another without relying on sex. This conversation is really powerful and vulnerable and we hope you get as much from it as we did. Gabriel is also the director of a new adult animated educational series, called Welcome to Kinkyville, about kink and how to do it safely. The kickstarter campaign wrapped up back in 2021 and they've spent the last few years creating a pitch-pilot and it is incredible! You can check it out over at welcometokinkyville.com! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Holly grew up in a super religious and closed-minded environment and started rebelling in her late teens after moving out on her own. She fell in love, married her girlfriend, and a few years later they quit their jobs and bought one-way plane tickets out of the country to learn and explore other ways of living. While out exploring the world Holly was introduced to non-monogamy and has since been figuring out how she wants to be in relationship with others. Like many of us, her path is winding and ever-evolving. Holly currently identifies as solo polyamorous and is finding her way back to herself after her last relationship. Join us as Holly shares her beautiful adventure with us! Holly also does really powerful work and she describes it in her bio on SoulPlay's website better than we ever could: Born and raised in South Louisiana, Holly embarked on her transformative journey in 2009, leaving her career and letting go of everything she owned to forge a new path. Since then she's traveled extensively, immersing herself in diverse cultures and ways of life, seeking purpose and a way to channel her skills toward creating positive change. During her travels, she took on various odd jobs, including helping to produce a grassroots weekend music festival in New Zealand. That experience ignited a passion for event production, which became the foundation of her new career. Today, she lives in the Bay Area and produces events full-time, crafting spaces that invite personal and collective transformation. Since 2015, she's been honored to serve as a founding contributor and Executive Director for SoulPlay, where she's made community and connection the heart of her purpose and passion. Save $100 on your SoulPlay tickets here until April 19th! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Dani strongly identifies as polyamorous and feels that she was born this way. However, she's only been actively exploring and practicing polyamory for a couple of years. She's currently in a self-proclaimed "midlife crisis era" and has been reimagining and reinventing herself after coming out of a 16-year monogamous marriage. Spoiler alert! Figuring out what we want in life can be really hard! Dani's explored lots of different complex relationships and connections over the last few years and today she's in a place where she is longing to be in love again... At the same time, she has a real fear of enmeshment and getting swept away on the relationship escalator. Dani vulnerably takes us inside her emotional and challenging journey of navigating the discomfort of the unknown as she finds herself. Dani is a writer, speaker, facilitator, storyteller, coach, business consultant, and the host of the "Another Way" podcast. She believes we all get to create the lives we want and that we don't have to settle or do what anyone else expects of us. And! We don't have to do it alone. To learn more about Dani and all of her work, please check out her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Eka is back! We first talked to her about two and a half years ago on episode 255 when she was just about to have her first child. She's in her mid-thirties and has been exploring non-monogamy in a variety of ways since about 2012. Since we last spoke, Eka and her partner Em had baby Elle and it's been an adventurous few years! Today Eka shares how having a newborn (and now a toddler) has impacted her life, her relationships, and her sexuality. She's been exploring her sexuality, demisexuality, kink, and multiple connections and partnerships all while figuring out how to be a new mom! There's never a dull moment and we absolutely love when we get to talk to Eka and hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Cathy and Steve are both in their fifties and have been exploring various forms of non-monogamy since they got together about six years ago. They met through a recovery fellowship program and built a friendship over a few years before they started dating and dipping their toes into non-monogamy as a way for Cathy to explore her bisexuality. Cathy and Steve come from very different relational backgrounds... Steve was married to his ex-wife in a multi-decade "mostly successful relationship that ran its course" whereas Cathy had been suppressing her sexuality for decades only to have it bubble up through infidelities in multiple marriages before she met Steve. Their relationship is built on a foundation of open and honest communication and friendship where they both feel like they're able to be their authentic selves. Their non-monogamous adventures have had ups and downs and have spanned the spectrum of swinging, hotwifing, cuckolding, and polyamory. They do a bit of everything and they're figuring it out as they go! After you listen to this beautiful interview we encourage you to check out Cathy and Steve's writing on Medium and on their website under the pseudonyms Sam and Kate! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Hilly first joined us on Episode 225 and now she's back to catch us up on all the ways she's been kicking ass over the last three years! She's a 38 year old pansexual, polyamorous, neurodivergent, BDSM practitioner of more than 20 years. She's also an ageplay advocate and educator, and the winner of the title of "Florida Little 2024!" This interview is so beautiful, uplifting, and full of love! Hilly shares some updates on her partnerships and takes us deep into the world of kink and BDSM title competitions. She also shares her own powerful journey of running for, and winning her Florida Little 2024 title in December! Hilly has also spoken on several other podcasts over the years and enjoys sharing her experiences both in the BDSM lifestyle, as well as her polyamorous journey with her partner of over 5 years. Her greatest goal is to create more supportive spaces and to foster a deeper understanding and acceptance for ageplay and many of the more niche kinks that exist under the greater umbrella of the BDSM lifestyle. She is an LGBTQIA+ ally, and makes a point of advocating for the rights of all people to live their truest and most authentic selves. You can find out more about Hilly and her work over on her website, her Facebook page, and her YouTube channel! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

James is an Australian living in the UK who has been practicing some form of non-monogamy since he met his partner at a kink club in London nearly 20 years ago. He currently describes his flavor of non-monogamy as sitting in the middle of the Venn diagram between kink, polyamory, and swinging... His relationships often blend these three together in some fashion. James is insatiably curious and passionate about relationships, connection, community, and life in general! He was also diagnosed with AUDHD (Autism and ADHD) a few years ago and shares with us how this has changed his whole understanding of how he's done relationships and life for over 50 years. We love this conversation and hope you enjoy it as well! If you're interested in more from James, you can find his writing on Medium as well. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today we're answering questions from our virtual community! First, we talk about how to be the hinge partner in a dynamic where your two partners want nothing to do with one another. And then, we share some of our thoughts on how to maintain and deepen our connection with a partner when we have different libidos, sexual interests, and desires. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com! You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

JoEllen woke up one day in 2011 and knew she needed to make some changes in her life. Not long after that she divorced her husband and sadly, her father passed away. She took about a year to collect herself while she figured out what was next... Coming out of her marriage, she didn't know what she wanted out of life and relationships but she definitely knew what she didn't want. So! She decided to start learning about sex because it was something she never really knew much about... She started researching and learning as much as she could and early in her research she discovered non-monogamy. Since then, JoEllen has been busy exploring her own style of non-monogamy, figuring out what works best for her, sharing her journey online, and generally being a badass who loves talking about all of the things most people are afraid to. JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken at www.redheadbedhead.com. She is also the author of The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having and In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family. Please check out and support her incredible work on Patreon! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Ashley and Mark have such an incredible and inspirational approach to exploring non-monogamy and life in general! They've been together over six years and about two years ago Mark brought up the idea of non-monogamy. They spent a year researching and learning before diving in and going to their first swinging event. Today they take us through their beautiful story and how they've both been learning to support each other without abandoning or sacrificing themselves. They've also been figuring out how to explore non-monogamy at different paces that support their different comfort levels and interests. Plus! They're doing all of this while raising two kids in a blended family and while living with Mark's ex-wife and co-parent of his child. This conversation is so full of love and positivity and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Marie joins us today from Denmark! She has been with her husband for more than a decade and about two years into their partnership they slowly began opening their relationship. They started by going to swinging clubs and getting into the swinging scene for a few years before shifting to dating separately and exploring polyamory. Marie and her husband never really had a "plan" they were following for non-monogamy, and they still don't. Their journey together has brought so much joy and love into their lives but that doesn't mean it always came easily. Like many couples who have been together a long time, they had to do a lot of work to differentiate from one another and learn how to stand on their own as individuals while also maintaining their connection. Marie's story is really beautiful and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Marie and her husband run a support and education community for people who are exploring non-monogamy called Openwise. They also travel around in their campervan teaching sexual education at schools and Marie works as a relationship and jealousy coach specializing in non-monogamy. You can learn more about her work on her website and at www.openwise.community. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Orit is back! We first talked to Orit back on Episode 309 just as she was starting to go through some major relational shifts and transitions when her nesting partner began dating her recently former partner's other partner. Today, she takes us inside her healing and grieving journey over the last two years. It hasn't been easy (to say the least!) but as you'll hear in this beautiful conversation, she's now found herself in a really great place emotionally and relationally. Orit Krug is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist who helps individuals and couples heal from past trauma through their bodies and movement so they can move on from the past and create lasting, loving relationships. For over 12 years, Orit has transformed the lives of more than 5,000 clients from over 10 different countries. Her online programs have helped thousands break free from their unhealthy, trauma-driven relationship cycles and experience positive transformations in their love lives. Check out all of her work and learn about her retreats on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Growing up in a small, remote, conservative town in Manitoba Alayna didn't even know that women could be gay... It wasn't a thing she even thought was possible. She was boy crazy in school to the point where her parents and teachers were a bit concerned. Today she takes us on her beautiful and complicated journey of discovering her own sexuality and ultimately coming out as gay when she was 29. Along the way Alayna was in a 10-year relationship with her boyfriend, explored polyamory, thought she was bisexual, and then slowly realized that she wasn't bisexual and that polyamory wasn't for her. Alayna's story is so powerful as she shows us how hard it can be to overcome the shame and societal expectations around our sexuality and relationships. Alayna described herself on her YouTube Channel better than we ever could... Alayna Joy is a therapist-in-training, climbing-obsessed, queer content creator who brings her frank and funny perspective to a wide range of topics, such as mental health and sexuality. She is the host of Sleeping Around: The Psychology of Sex, Dating, and Relationships and co-hosts the Chosen Family Podcast. Alayna is currently completing a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology as a part of her training to become a licensed psychotherapist. Across social media, Alayna shares her love for all things sexuality, climbing, and the great outdoors with a positive community of like-minded women and 2SLGBTQIA+ folks. No matter the type of content she’s creating, Alayna’s goal is always to keep laughter and education at the forefront. Check out all of Alayna's work here! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today we're answering questions from our virtual community! First, we talk about polyamory breakups and then we follow it by answering a question about NRE (New Relationship Energy). Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com! You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Molly is so full of positive energy and good vibes! This conversation is an absolute delight and also so powerful as Molly shares her relationship journey and experiences with us. Normally we try to summarize what that looks like but the bio on Molly's website does a much better job than we ever could... "I’ve always been curious about (maybe even obsessed with) relationships. I’ve always loved big. I’ve always wanted to disrupt social norms that didn’t seem quite right. So when I first learned that non-monogamy was possible in my early 20s, my mind and heart were forever changed. 15 years later, as I continue crafting my own unique flavor of non-monogamy, my mission in life is to help others heal and build the relationships of their dreams." We hope you enjoy our conversation with Molly as much as we did! Molly is also a relationship coach and therapist who loves working with people all across the relationship spectrum! Please check out all of her work over on her website at Bonobo Relationships! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Today Jaye takes us through pretty much his entire relationship history and it is an exciting and beautiful ride! After years of serial monogamy, Jaye and a friend(ish) started swinging together and his whole world began to open up. Shortly after finding the swinging lifestyle, Jaye met his (now) wife and then had to come out to her about swinging and being bisexual. Jaye and his wife took a few years slowly getting into swinging while building a foundation together. Fast forward to today... Jaye has multiple partners, he and his wife are exploring a pretty fluid open relationship dynamic, and Jaye started a rock band that plays at lifestyle events he hosts in Florida! Jaye brings so much love and positivity to our conversation today and to all of his work! You can learn more about Jaye's events and band over at his website metamourentertainment.com. Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Kiley and her husband jumped into swinging about four years ago and hit the ground running... Or possibly sprinting. After their first trip to a swingers club they started going to clubs and events frequently and at the same time Kiley decided she wanted to share their journey of learning and exploration on social media. Kiley takes us through their journey over the last four years as she shares how much of an impact the experience has had on her life and who she is today. Swinging lifestyle events and social media consumed her life for years before she ultimately had to step back and re-evaluate what she was wanting from it and what parts of herself she needed to heal. Today, Kiley and her husband are still exploring swinging and non-monogamy and she shares with us what that looks like and how she has brought balance back into her life. Kiley George is a passionate sex and relationship coach, content creator, non-monogamy and sex work advocate, and host of the The Pineapple Express Podcast—A Millennial Swingers Podcast. With years of experience in the swinging and non-monogamous world, Kiley specializes in helping individuals and couples explore their desires and build meaningful relationships. She is also a dedicated advocate for sex-positive spaces and works closely with clubs, events, and thought leaders to create inclusive, educational experiences for the community. To find out more about Kiley follow her on social media. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Lizz and Gabriel found one another at an adult rollerskating class a few months after Lizz's husband passed away. Lizz came to their partnership with over twenty years of exploring polyamory with her husband and another longterm partner. Gabriel came to the relationship with zero experience in non-monogamy and had grown up very religious with no concept of relationships other than to meet someone, get married, have kids, and never ever get divorced. Lizz and Gabriel come from different backgrounds and have different styles of polyamory and preferences of relating. They don't have a ton of rules. other than to be honest and treat one another with kindness. And, they have a ton of fun and so much love and respect for one another as you'll hear throughout this incredible and vulnerable conversation. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today we are answering questions from our virtual community! First up, we determine when you're allowed to call yourself non-monogamous. How many partners do you have to have to qualify? Come found out. Then we talk about how to show up authentically in a non-monogamous partnership when it feels like you can't really be yourself around your loved ones or may not even be able to be out in public at all. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com! You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Today George takes us on his powerful relationship journey that spans more than thirty years... For the first ten years he was monogamously married and then separated amicably when he was about 30. In his thirties George remarried but ended up cheating on his wife every few years throughout most of their partnership. She found out early on and they sort of had an unspoken agreement which ultimately ended after about 11 years. After his second marriage George decided he wanted to do relationships differently. Lying, cheating, and dishonesty were not what George wanted in a partnership yet neither was monogamy. For the last ten years George has been diving deep into learning and exploring the world of ethical non-monogamy. He now identifies as solo poly and loves forming connections with women all over the world that are rooted in honesty, transparency, and clear communication. Not only does George love exploring relationships and connection in his personal life, he's also made it his profession. George lives in Australia and has been working as a legal male escort for the last year. For him, his work is about companionship, connection, and healing. To learn more about George and his work, please check out his website! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing