The Book of Donovan

I’ve decided to rebrand the show to The Book of Donovan. To be honest, I sat on this recording for a week because it felt too dark, even for me. But I had to get it out of my system. I’m 56 years old, and on May 4th, 2026, I’ll hit my 36th wedding anniversary. While I’ve managed to keep this family afloat and we live in a nice neighborhood, I’m struggling. I wake up at 5 a.m. every day to a routine of coffee, news, and checking my IT management dashboard. It’s a grind. I recently lost a major client, so we’re having to tighten the budget, and our old vehicles—one of which is 24 years old—constantly need expensive repairs. Deep down, I haven’t been happy in years. I feel a lot of guilt because, on paper, I have what I need, yet I’m miserable most of the time. I often feel like the effort in my life is one-sided; I handle 98% of what gets done around the house, from the laundry to 60% of the cooking. I find myself looking back at my 20s and 30s with nostalgia—back when I was a network manager for CityNet in Tifton, fighting to get DSL into our neighborhood, and staying up until 3 a.m. playing World of Warcraft with my wife. Now, I wrestle with the “why” of it all. We spend our lives chasing goals only to find ourselves barreling toward 60 with nothing of substance to show for it. I’m tired, I’m scared, and I’m filled with a rage that I only manage to keep in check because I’m no longer masking things with alcohol. I’ve made bad decisions in the past, and I carry a lot of shame for how I’ve treated people emotionally. This isn’t meant to be uplifting—this is my therapy. If you’re feeling the same way, you can reach me at podcast@bookofdonovan.com. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

I’m 1,049 days into what I like to call my “alcohol retirement,” and this episode is really a bit of housekeeping. After a year of podcasting through Spreaker, I finally decided it no longer made sense to keep paying for a platform that wasn’t really giving me much back. So, I’ve moved everything over to Substack, and in the process, I decided it was time to retire the name “Call Me Donovan” and officially rename the show The Book of Donovan. I’m hoping the podcast feed mess is finally sorted out and that the new show will actually update properly everywhere it’s supposed to. The reason for the new name (aside from trying to fix the RSS feed issue) is that this show has grown beyond just talking about my sobriety. As I get closer to three years without alcohol, I find myself wanting to talk more about getting older, spirituality, life, technology, and figuring out what really matters. I may be an atheist, but I still believe there’s value in living by good principles and looking for something bigger than yourself without buying into all the baggage that comes with organized religion. The Book of Donovan feels like the right name because this podcast is really just me, page by page, trying to figure life out as I go. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

For episode 81, I talk about approaching my three-year anniversary of “alcohol retirement” and how proud I am that this is the longest I’ve ever gone without drinking. I reflect on the many times in my life that I swore off alcohol, only to convince myself I could handle it differently, and I share a couple of embarrassing and dangerous stories from my drinking years—including drunkenly peeing in a closet and once passing out and hitting my head in my office. I discuss how, even though the end of 2025 and beginning of 2026 have been rough professionally as I face losing a major client, I’m grateful I’m facing it sober rather than making things worse by drinking. I talk about missing the taste and romanticized idea of alcohol, but not the chaos and damage that came with it, and how being sober has improved my health, my outlook, and my ability to weather difficult times. I close by encouraging anyone on a similar journey to reach out, because while I may not have used a formal support group, maybe this podcast—and the people listening—have become mine. Get full access to Call Me Donovan at callmedonovan.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

In this episode, recorded on March 11, I’m grappling with a stinging realization about the nature of business and personal loyalty. After a decade of bending over backwards to provide the very best service for a long-term client, I found out yesterday that I’m being “rewarded” by losing them as a client. I dive deep […] Get full access to Call Me Donovan at callmedonovan.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

Hey, it’s Donovan. Today’s episode is a bit raw — a snapshot of where my head’s been lately. I talk about hitting 928 days sober, but still fighting the noise in my own brain — that restless, scatterbrained feeling that makes me start too many projects and finish too few. Between running my IT business, juggling […] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

In this episode of Call Me Donovan, I dusted off the mic after a bit of a break to catch up and unload about life, health, and the ridiculous state of healthcare in America. I kicked things off talking about guest-hosting on Grumpy Old Geeks with Jason DeFilippo while his usual co-host was living it up at Disneyland This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

I’ll be honest—I don’t know if anything I said in this episode will make a difference, but I had to get it off my chest. The murder of Charlie Kirk has thrown the country into another firestorm, and what frustrates me most isn’t just the tragedy itself, but how the political right is weaponizing it […] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

This one’s a walk down memory lane—literally and figuratively. I was just standing at the office door, staring outside, when a flood of memories hit me. March 2026 will mark 20 years in this house—our first real “house-house,” not a mobile home, not an apartment, but an actual piece of stick-built real estate with roots. […] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

Hey y’all — Donovan here, and in this episode of Call Me Donovan, I go full tilt into the joys (read: hell) of homeownership. What started as a normal Sunday with laundry turned into a plumbing nightmare: backed-up sinks, overflowing washing machine lines, and a trip—or three—to Lowe’s. I recount how my daughter and I […] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

Hey, it’s Donovan — and welcome back to another episode of Call Me Donovan! Today marks 761 days alcohol-free, and I’m reflecting on what it means to get older — not just for us as people, but for the stuff we rely on every day. Namely: our aging vehicles. In this episode, I dive into […] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

This time on Call Me Donovan, I’m catching you up on what’s been a hectic couple of weeks around here. First off, I quietly passed the two-year mark on my alcohol-free journey — 745 days and counting. But honestly, things have been such a blur lately I’m not even sure if I already mentioned that. […] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit donovanadkisson.substack.com

Well, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, depending on what time of day you find yourself in. Today is 536 days of alcohol retirement and this is Call Me Donovan for Wednesday, November 13, 2024. We’re in the short rows of the year now, with Thanksgiving about 2 weeks away, then Christmas, and onward to 2025. I haven’t done one of these in a little while—probably since before the election. I try to keep politics out of this podcast because it’s really about sobriety, my “alcohol retirement,” and other aspects of my life as an aging Gen Xer, father of three, and husband of 34 years. Usually, I don't bring politics into this. I'm not going to get too political here, either. That's what *Good Talk, America* is for, although I haven't done anything over there recently. It’s challenging to line up my thoughts about what’s been going on. My friend Sam checked in on me after the election, and it’s strange how these recent elections have affected people's mental health. My first vote was in the 1988 election for George H.W. Bush. Growing up in a Republican household, influenced by my father—a Republican and, to be honest, a racist—my views initially mirrored those of my family. It wasn’t until Obama’s first successful election that I switched from being a registered Republican to a Democrat. I consider myself an independent now Back in 2016, I remember watching people devastated by Hillary Clinton’s loss. That level of despair was foreign to me at the time. My thinking was that elections come and go. But looking back, I now understand a little more of that feeling, even though I’m disappointed, as my candidate didn't win this time. There's a meme I saw recently about privilege, and I’m paraphrasing here: you're privileged if you don’t care about issues that don’t directly affect you. For instance, I’m a white male in the southern United States—the demographic that largely voted for Trump. I may not be directly impacted by issues affecting women or the LGBTQ+ community, but I still care about the people those issues do affect. My kids, for example, have chosen not to have children because of the state of the world, and while that may change, it reflects a lot about their outlook on society. Reflecting on the Democratic Party's post-election analysis, it seemed like their messaging missed the mark. There’s been criticism that Democrats were too “highbrow” and didn’t connect with some voters who felt ignored. And as Jon Stewart highlighted recently, many accusations of “wokeism” in the Democratic campaign were misplaced. While they talked about women's rights, price gouging, and small business support, none of it was particularly “woke” in the way it’s often accused of being. In some ways, Trump’s appeal lies in his ability to communicate on a very simple level—studies have shown that he speaks at a fifth-grade level. His messaging is easily consumable, which resonates with many people, even if his intelligence might be questionable. It saddens me to think that perhaps this reflects the overall intelligence of the electorate, who may not be as informed as we’d like to believe. Looking at the election analytically, I think the Democrats’ failure lay partly in a condescending attitude that turned people off. Knocking on doors multiple times was annoying rather than persuasive. The Democrats led with ego, much like in 2016, assuming they couldn’t lose. However, as recent events show, it’s essential to understand that economic metrics might show progress overall, but many people don't feel that improvement directly in their daily lives. It’s difficult to explain inflation and economic factors to the general public. The pandemic’s economic impact, inflation spikes, and wage stagnation have made people feel economically strained. Historically, inflation means prices go up, but rarely do they come back down, which can be hard for people to accept. I'm sorry if this discussion went in a different direction than planned. Either...