How Did You Get Here with Verastic

The world is still learning about autism. And I, Vera Ezimora, know even less about autism. My first "real" experience with autism was when I got my first professional job after I graduated college. It was as a Service Coordinator, and I walked with individuals with intellectual disabilities. It seems like such a lifetime ago now. I learned so much from that job. When I came across today's guest, Lola Dada-Olley on Facebook (through her husband), I just knew I had to bring her on because she has so many different experiences, all rolled into one human being: she's a mom, a mom of two children on the spectrum, a Nigerian, a sister to someone on the spectrum, a lawyer, an advocate, a podcaster, a writer, and many other things. Honestly, I don't know how Lola does it. Sometimes, I complain about having such a full plate, and then, I meet dynamic unicorns like Lola Dada-Olley, and she just blows my mind away. Like how does she do it?! I asked Lola so many questions that she told me I was a tenured professor with a curriculum in asking loaded questions. I'm still smiling from that. Please listen to this episode and give Lola Dada-Olley a mental high-five. Or better yet, reach out to her through any of the following means. Also, check out Lola's TedX talk below. Connect with Lola Dada-Olley on her podcast and on Instagram. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

This pandemic needs to just go away. Am I right? Or am I right? A lot of things have changed permanently, thanks to the pandemic. For example, remote work, when possible, will probably always be the norm. Another thing is money: how much of it we wake, how much of it we have saved for a rainy day, etc. In today's episode, we have Ronke Adewumi, a finance expert, teaching us creative ways to save money and stop wasting it. Yes, even when you think you don't even have money or don't have enough of it. Let me tell you a bit about Ronke: Ronke is a Personal Finance expert and the creator of The Bulletproof Life program. She has helped many people turn their lives around positively, simply by teaching them to adopt the Bulletproof Life which is about taking continuous actionable steps to achieve financial freedom, career progression, and business growth while living an intentional life. Ronke shares her Bulletproof Life knowledge through her Youtube channel and social media accounts. A Chartered Accountant (ACMA, CGMA) and Management Consultant with about 16 years of experience, Ronke, in her day job, has led and delivered finance and program management solutions for blue-chip companies in Europe, Africa, and Asia. She is a published author, serial entrepreneur, mum of two girls, married to an amazing man. At the time of this recording, Ronke was about to have a class. That class has since expired, but Ronke always has new classes scheduled, so don't fret. Connect with Ronke to find out more. Check her out on her website, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. And you can email her too ronkeadewumi@gmail.com. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

Infertility is one of the many taboo conversations in the African community. In the Christian African community, it's even worse. For starters, the bible says that there will be barrenness in the land, so both preachers and the congregation they're preaching to are quick to remind women who are trying to conceive of this verse. It's almost as if the infertility is thereby invalidated and denied. The problem is that it's usually still there. And what about the fact that altar calls in church only call for women who want children, never men. Are men never infertile? In today's episode, Nonsi Martins, a Zimbabwean woman, tells us about the male factor infertility - infertility in the male. Her husband, a Nigerian man, is the one experiencing infertility, but they are in this journey together, and Nonsi speaks very candidly and openly about their IVF journey, the cause of her husband's infertility, and how their family feels about this information being out in the open. Noni Martins is a Zimbabwean-British blogger at unfertility.com who hopes to break the silence, stigma and shame by demystifying the infertility & IVF journey. She is an Office/Project Manager by day on projects that work towards eliminating modern slavery and child labor through responsible recruitment and supply chain solutions. Social issues are also close to her heart. You can find her on Instagram. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.comAll content © 2021 I Am African by Verastic.

Recently, a Nigerian woman, Dr Ikea Bello, went viral for doing what we (Nigerians/Africans) would consider the unimaginable. Not only did she file for divorce, but she also dared to celebrate it --- and she did it publicly. On social media. With pictures. And videos. So, naturally, the African internet streets are offended. And also naturally, I was there to remind everyone that the divorce and the party are both hers. Read my post here. A lot of brands and publications have been reaching out to Dr. Bello since the party, but she chose to talk to us first, and I am deeply honored. You need to listen to Dr. Bello speak about being married to a narcissist, being in a toxic marriage, literally escaping her marriage, and the work she has done to bring her the peace that she now enjoys. So, who is Dr. Ikea Bello exactly? Dr. Ikea Bello is a mom (five kids!), a doctor of nurse practitioner, life coach, and so much more. She has spent part of her life inspiring people at seminars, through online classes, and through small gatherings. She uses a range of physical and verbal techniques to captivate thousands of people attending her seminars. She uses her personal, past life struggles and present winning to motivate her audience. She is also a domestic violence survivor, a professional life coach, a mentor, and soon to be a publishing author. She believes in work–life balance as a state of equilibrium in which demands of personal life, professional life, and family life are equal. You can connect with Dr. Ikea Bello on her website and on social media: Instagram and Facebook. You can also listen at any and all of the following places: online, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcast, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Sticher, Google Play Music, Tunein, Spreaker, Blubrry, Digital Podcast, Deezer, Podchaser, Afrotivity, and the Sono App (no link). If there’s a podcast player you prefer that isn’t listed here, let me know and I’ll see if I can submit my podcast there. But that’s not all! You can also find updates about the I Am African Podcast right here on Verastic. See for yourself. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitter

My people! I am here to prove to you that divorced dads who are dating do exist! It took me so long to find a divorced dad willing to speak to me about his dating life. But then Goziem happened. He was introduced to me by a mutual friend, Eloka, and the rest is history. As a divorced mom, I know what dating is like. But I did not know and what I wanted to know was how it was for a divorced dad. While I know that Goziem does not speak for every divorced dad who is dating, I know that there are many who will hear him and relate to him, and maybe learn something from him. You can connect with Goziem on Facebook. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

Conversations are important, especially with people who are different from you. As a Christian girl, it was important for me to have this conversation with Ruth Marimo, an African Atheist - because at the end of the day, no matter who we serve (or don't serve), we are still humans with blood running through our veins. Today's guest, Ruth Marimo, isn't new to the podcast. She first came on the podcast in episode 18 where she talked about emotional resilience. It. Was. So. Powerful! Check that episode out here. I promise you that you will feel inspired, motivated, and empathetic. Go listen to it when you are busy making children up and down. Ruth Marimo is a 40-year-old single mom. She has authored two books: (1) a memoir titled ‘Outsider: Crossing Borders, Breaking Rules, Gaining pride’, which chronicles her immigration journey from her country of origin, Zimbabwe, as well as the complexities of being a multiple minority, and (2) a work of fiction titled ‘Indelicate Things.’ She has a residential and commercial cleaning business called Ruth’s Cleaning Service that has been growing for 6 years. When she is not busy raising her two kids, she speaks and fights for many causes including racial inequality, immigration reform, and LGBTQ equality. Connect with Ruth Marimo on her personal Facebook page, on Instagram, on Twitter, and on Facebook. Also, please watch her TEDx talk. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

Divorce is like an onion; it has so many layers that need to be peeled, one after another. First, there's the layer where you realize you need to get divorced, and there are all the emotions that come with it. Then there's the layer where you go through the actual divorce. Then, finally, the layer after the divorce. Now what? What happens after the divorce? How do you heal? How do you move on? How do you meet good men? How do you remarry - if you so desire? These are the questions that Sade Curry answered on this podcast (and much more). Let me tell you a bit about Sade Curry: she is a Certified Life Coach who helps divorced women recover from the painful trauma of divorce, rebuild their finances and careers, and remarry if they choose to do so. Sade went through a divorce after 17 years of a very difficult marriage. She went from being a stay-at-home mom to being back in the workforce and earning six-figures. She started a successful business, helped her kids thrive, AND married the man of her dreams. Now in her coaching practice and group programs, Sade teaches other divorced women to get real results in their new life after divorce. Connect with Sade on her website, on Facebook, and on Instagram. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookSubscribe to my monthly emailswww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

I used to not wear shorts. Wait, let's rewind. When I was younger, maybe between 12 and 17 or something like that, I loved my legs, and I remember how it started. I had heard my mom in a conversation with her friend who kept complimenting my legs, saying how nice they were. And that was how I started suddenly thinking my legs were the best. But at some point, I started thinking that my legs were not so great anymore, specifically, my thighs. I thought they were too big and did not deserve to be shown. I refused to wear shorts, although I confidently - and strangely - wore mini skirts. Then one summer in 2017, the summer before the end of my marriage - I wore shorts out, on a particularly difficult day. I took pictures, and I saw my legs (and my thighs) in the pictures, and I was beside myself. How come I did not know I looked so good? Or why did I think that I didn't? And that, my people, is how my collection of shorts grew. Prior to this, I only owned two shorts that I would wear outside the house - and only to places like the grocery store where I did not think I'd potentially run into people I knew. I guess I was okay with strangers seeing my big thighs. But oh my, how times have changed! About today's guest: Msendoo - who goes by Kamsendoo (meaning I'm Msendoo) is a digital creator hailing from South Florida. She graduated from Xavier University located in Cincinnati, Ohio in 2019 with a BS in Health Services and Administration. Her claim to fame has been her videos, many of which have gone viral, where she stresses the importance of women feeling good about themselves and their bodies. She is passionate about helping women realize their true value. She wants to help women understand that they are worthy. Period. Connect with Msendoo on Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookSubscribe to my monthly emailswww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

This is one of the first topics I wrote down when I was dreaming about starting my podcast: why Africans don't have the African American perspective. From the moment I finally began to understand my African privilege and the struggles of my African-American brothers and sisters that I previously did not know of, I have tried to use my platform to tell all my fellow Africans. African privilege is a thing that a lot of us, Africans, don't even know that we have. For us, we think that coming from Africa automatically means that we have no advantage or privilege. What I can say for sure is that once you know the truth, you cannot unknow it or disregard it or ignore it. It will hunt you and assault you. And for those who think that African American problems are strictly the African American's problems (and that they don't affect us), may I briefly turn your attention to your African American children? Today's guest is Dr. Uju Anya. She is a linguist and university professor in the field of language learning and teaching. She was born in Nigeria to an Igbo father and a mother from Trinidad and has lived in the United States since age 10. She’s a polyglot who speaks six languages, a single mother of two brilliant children, an atheist, and a politically outspoken lesbian. She authored the book, Racialized identities in second language learning: Speaking blackness in Brazil (Routledge 2017), has written multiple journal articles, and engages in debates on multilingualism, feminism, pop culture, racial equity, and LGBTQ rights as a public intellectual on Twitter. She speaks regularly at invited lectures, conference keynotes, and leads workshops on race, gender, sexuality, equity and inclusiveness in education, and intercultural communication. She is intelligent, informed, and eloquent. I knew I'd love her before I even recorded with her, and she did not disappoint at all. She just gave off that vibe, and it is always a breath of fresh air to meet people like her. You can connect with her via Twitter (best place), Instagram, and email: ujuanya@gmail.com. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookSubscribe to my monthly emailswww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

Before I filed for divorce - in fact, before I even walked away from my marriage - I had never given a moment's thought to sex (or lack of it) during a divorce. I also did not know that the legal laws for sexing while divorcing varied from State to State. In my State, Maryland, for example, it is illegal to have sex with someone who is not your spouse, until your divorce is final. It does not matter if you are legally separated. It was only when I separated from The Boy that I started receiving questions about my sex life. People wanted to know who I was doing and how I was coping [without sex] and when last I had sex, etc. And then it dawned on me that I had never thought about the quality of my sex life while I was divorcing. But then again, the quality of my sex life while I was married was not memorable either. In this week's episode, I have our very own Berry Dakara! Berry Dakara is currently going through divorce, and recently, she mentioned publicly on her Instagram that she had not had sex in a while. So, I thought to myself, well, why stop there? Let's go on the podcast and have an even more intimate conversation about sex. So, here we are. Berry Dakara is a single-mother of one very beautiful daughter, Coco. She has worn a few hats as a Content Creator, starting with her first blog, the Aje-Butter's Guide to NYSC, and then her personal blog also named Berry Dakara. She has a Youtube channel that she hopes to resurrect one day, but her focus right now is on her podcast - Mommy Oyoyo - which she started in 2019 as a platform to talk about anything and everything motherhood from the modern African woman's perspective. Berry is Nigerian (half Ogoni-half Igbo) and has lived in the US for over 20 years. She enjoys spending time with her family, friends, but also treasures time alone to herself. Berry is a chronic oversharer (just check her Instagram posts) but does not plan to promote this episode on Facebook so her daddy will not scold her. Yes, of course, she's a punk. You can connect with Berry Dakara on Twitter, and you can connect with the Mommy Oyoyo Podcast on Instagram too. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookSubscribe to my monthly emailswww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

My Sweet Potatoes! Season two is upon us! Need I say more? The real question is are you ready? Or ARE YOU READY? BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookSubscribe to my monthly emailswww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

Can women actually be divorced and happy? For some reason, being divorced and happy, especially for a woman, seems like it's mutually exclusive. I will not make the claim that all women are divorced and happy, but I can confidently say that any woman who gets divorced for the right reasons can be - and most likely is - divorced and happy. Our culture abhors divorce. Our culture also abhors a free-thinking, independent woman because she is seen as rebellious and unsubmissive. You already know my thoughts on submission, right? Divorce is difficult on all counts, and the decision to get one should not be made lightly or easily. Today's episode is a special request. A listener asked that I answer the question of whether a woman can be divorced and happy. Naturally, I have used myself as an example. In this episode, I also made references to my marriage, and how it ended, and as promised in the podcast, here's the link to read the full story about how my marriage ended. Quite honestly, I'm so glad that I have this link to refer to because it would be exhausting to tell this story over and over. If you are a woman in the middle of a divorce or planning to get divorced or thinking about getting divorced, I understand the situation you're in, but I want you to know that there is so much life after divorce, and I hope that this episode lights a fire in your belly and calms your unrest. If anyone ever has a special request for an episode or a blog post, please reach out to me, and I'll be happy to provide any and all information on the topic if I have it. This episode also includes a special announcement about the podcast. Please listen to find out more, and let me know your thoughts when you're done. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

"Vera, you're so strong!" I've practically heard this for as long as I can remember. I heard it most when I left my marriage. People congratulated me for being so strong, for having the audacity to walk out of a marriage that was trampling me and robbing me of my peace. I did not understand why I was being congratulated. Should one not always leave a situation that is bad for them? But that's by the way. To be strong, one has to be emotionally resilient. Some people are strong because they've learned from other people who have coached them to be strong - through their words and/or their actions. And then there are people who are strong and emotionally resilient because life kicked them in the gut, and they had no other choice but to be strong. Emotional resilience: one's ability to be kicked in the gut and fall down, but not stay down. One's ability to function in spite of everything else. One's ability to roll with the punches. One's ability to make lemonade out of lemons. Today's guest, Ruth Marimo, is a perfect example. She did not know her father, and she lost her mother at age 4 to suicide. She eventually married an abusive man whom she had to divorce and file a restraining order against. But wait, that's not all! She came out as a lesbian and she's also now an atheist. And this isn't even everything! You'd have to listen to the episode to find out more. Tell me, how do you think life has been for her as an African woman? You think friends and family were happy that she was getting divorced? You think they patted her on her back for coming out? You think they shook her hand for becoming an atheist? Or do you think she stopped being included? Today, Ruth Marimo is a 40-year-old single mom. She has authored two books: (1) a memoir titled ‘Outsider: Crossing Borders, Breaking Rules, Gaining pride’, which chronicles her immigration journey from her country of origin, Zimbabwe, as well as the complexities of being a multiple minority, and (2) a work of fiction titled ‘Indelicate Things.' She has a residential and commercial cleaning business called Ruth’s Cleaning Service that has been growing for 6 years. When she is not busy raising her two kids, she speaks and fights for many causes including racial inequality, immigration reform, and LGBTQ equality. Connect with Ruth Marimo on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Also, please watch her TEDx talk. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

"I believe in asking the difficult questions, starting the uncomfortable conversations, proposing outside-the-box solutions, and of course, shaking tables. No, breaking tables." Verbatim, these words are in the intro of the I Am African Podcast because they are exactly why I started this podcast. And today, I had the pleasure of speaking with Edafe Okporo about his life as an openly-gay Nigerian man. Make no mistake, Edafe is not a gay rights activist, although he is understandably outspoken on the issue. However, he wants you to know more about him than the person he shares a bed with. For example, Edafe is 6'1" and 205 pounds, and he describes himself simply as a speaker, an author, and a diversity expert. Before Edafe moved to New York, he was a Pastor in a Redeemed Christian Church of God in Nigeria where he struggled with his sexuality. Eventually, he came out to the church, and while life was difficult then, it became unbearable when Nigeria passed the law against homosexuality. That was when Edafe found himself being attacked several times and had to flee to the United States for refuge. Here's the thing: As Africans, we know ourselves. We know the "sin" that we like and the one we don't. An article I read stated that 94% of Africans do not approve of homosexuality. There are hindrances in the way of "approving" homosexuality, I get it - like culture, religion, personal preference, etc. This episode is not to convince you to suddenly love homosexuality. This is simply a conversation between two human beings, appealing to your human ears, to treat everybody as a body - a human body - because whether you agree with Edafe or not, he's still a human being, worthy and deserving of every good thing humans can have. Here's the other thing: As Christians, we miss the mark too many times. Yes, I know not all who listen to this podcast are Christians, but this paragraph is specifically for the Christians. My Pastor always says it best, that our duties as Christians are to, "Love God, and love people." Please listen, and be guided. You can connect with Edafe Okporo on Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube. You can also find out more about him on his website where you can also pre-order his new book coming out in October, called Compassion Is Worth More. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

Even now, I'm wondering if How Not To Say Yes When You Really Mean No is the appropriate title for this. But it's too late to change it. The podcast has been recorded, edited, and published. Perhaps, what I really should have named it is How Not To Spend Your Energy On Things You Really Don't Want. Either way, I suppose there's still an element of saying yes or no to something. Listen and tell me your thoughts! BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

I played a game of Never Have I Ever on Zoom for Uju's birthday in April, and it got me thinking about a whole lot. Although I knew it before, this game became living proof that indeed I need to stop being so safe and live already. There is so much I still have not experienced. Half the year is already gone, but it does not mean I can't start where I am right now, right? The past three weeks have been very dark - and that's putting it mildly - so I deliberately chose this topic for this week's episode. This is my attempt at keeping it light, in spite of the darkness. What are some things you are yet to experience but would love to? BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

Sweet Potatoes, So much is going on in the world right now. And I'm tired of starting sentences like this, but how can I be tired when some people have a worse fate? My fellow Nigerian women have been raped and killed with no repercussions to the rapist because of the rape culture in Nigeria. In today's episode, I have the very smart and outspoken table-shaker, Omolara Oriya, an activist, human rights lawyer. We had a raw and authentic conversation about the rape culture in Nigeria, about the laws that not only excuse the rapists but also encourage them, all while leaving the victim bruised (sometimes dead) and guilty for the crime she did not actually commit. Omolara answered so many questions that were asked in our Facebook group, and it was quite an experience picking her brain on this issue. If you'd like to connect with Omolara, here are the details: @OmolaraOriye on Instagram | @TheLaraOriye on Twitter | @AEInitiatives | Follow hashtag #StateOfEmergencyGBV | The Femme Law Collective | The Oriye Consultancy | The Superior Information on YouTube Some of the resources Omolara mentioned for rape victims are WARIF and the Mirabel Center. We must annihilate rape and rape culture in Nigeria. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

Today's episode is not a regular episode, and I am not a regular Vera today either. I was so angry recording this episode. When I was listening back to it, I felt bad for the Vera who recorded it. I was angry that some Africans still don't know that they're Black in America, but I was angrier at the situation that calls for Africans to be reminded that they're Black too. Some days ago, I did not go to bed till about 4AM because I was watching the news, watching buildings burn, and watching my people mourn. By the time I went to bed, you could cut my emotional tensity with a knife. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and no one's shoulders were made to carry the world's weight. As if Coronavirus isn't bad enough, we also have to deal with the fact that African Americans are disproportionately dying from this disease, and just when the lid is about to pop off, we also have to deal with Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor and Amy Cooper --- and now, George Floyd. I'm angry. And while I'm trying to maintain some sanity, I have to deal with Africans. Even the ones who have not crossed their villages in Africa have an opinion on African Americans. Yes, I'm angry. BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

The longer I live, the more I learn. When I was a child, there were so many things that were normal to me. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know myself a lot better, and I realize that some of the things I thought were normal were actually patriarchal cultural norms that don't serve women. I'd admit that I fell for some of them, and as I live and learn, I will continue to unlearn every norm that inhibits me. For this episode, my guest is Olabisi Ajai Layode. Do you know her? Let me tell you a little bit about her. She used to go by Olu Bunmi on Facebook, but now, she's Ola Bisi. She has a steadily active wall with over 35,000 followers --- on her personal profile page. Crazy, no? Ola Bisi is a published author and founder of Greenlands Haven Foundation. She is an advocate for the empowerment of women, and she blogs under the name of Jopa’s Daughter. Connect with Ola Bisi on her Facebook page, on her blog, and via email: bunmiajai@yahoo.com BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS. THANK YOU! Let's connect: InstagramTwitterFacebookInstagramTwitterFacebookMonthly love notes in your emailwww.verastic.comiamafrican@verastic.com

Mercedes Okwukogu is a woman to be admired. In the past three weeks, Nigerian Facebook has been greatly shaken. On Ola Bisi's Facebook wall, she started sharing stories of women who are divorced. She used the hashtag, #DivorceNotStigma, and I was one of the women whose stories got shared. She reached out to me to share my story, and even before she reached out, I was planning on doing so anyway. Of course, my own story was already very public, so sharing a summary of it on Facebook was no problem. It was through this series that I met today's guest, Mercedes Okwukogu. Let me tell you a bit about Mercedes Okwukogu. She's an engineer in Nigeria, six feet tall, absolutely beautiful, 42, a strong woman by all indications, and a pleasure to be around --- even virtually. Although she did not describe herself as humble, this was a trait I picked up from her through our long conversation (we spoke extensively on the phone before we actually recorded our podcast). You can connect with Mercedes Okwukogu on her Facebook page or through Whatsapp: +234-909-916-2263 The point of today's episode is not to rehash everything that went wrong in the marriage of Mercedes Okwukogu, but to discuss where she is now, how she feels about remarrying and dating in general. You may remember that I already shared my thoughts on remarriage. Listen and learn!