Beer Me A Movie

Another month is ending, and that means YOU got to beer US a movie! This month's theme was Crappy Hour, and Phil "Hot Take" Hawkins did not disappoint. Phil beered us a little 90s movie called Chill Factor with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Skeet Ulrich. It's basically Speed in an ice cream truck. No, not that kind. If that's not enough to pique your interest, check your pulse. Tune in and see just how off the rails this one goes. *Chill Factor © 1999 Morgan Creek Productions

Dave issued a challenge to find one that he would actually hate. That's why Bryan beered us the famously bad movie Foodfight! It's a movie that dares to ask, "What if Toy Story took place in a grocery store and was animated by the people who make Shrek memes and budget movie theater concession stand ads?" Join Charlie Sheen as Dex Dogtective while he and the other brand icons try to save Marketropolis from Brand X, who are definitely not a metaphor for Nazis, because nobody involved knows what a metaphor is. *Foodfight! © 2009 Boulevard Entertainment

Dave likes to use his beers "for good." So many of you chose CATS for the musical month listener pick, that Dave couldn't rob you of that. Therefore, his Crappy Hour pick has become more of an Overlappy Hour pick, with this infamous musical. Bryan's back. Novak's back (it is a cat movie after all). I'll spare you the cat puns in this episode description on account of the latter. *Cats © 2019 Universal Studios, RUG Ltd. and Perfect Universe Investment Inc.

Bryan is away this week, so we're kicking off May with another "OOPS! All Daves" episode! This month, we're leaning into some of the worst-of-the-worst movies with our Crappy Hour theme. The very first pick comes from special guest and temporary co-host Dave Novak, who has beered us Movie 43. With 13 directors and a laundry list of famous actors, might this actually be this century's Howard the Duck? *Movie 43 © 2013 Movie Productions, LLC

We asked you to submit musicals for our end-of-the-month listener episode and you guys understood the assignment! At least better than Bryan did. And while most of you chose CATS, the ghost of Roger Ebert had other plans. That's why we're talking about Hairspray! And what a fun way to send off our month-long celebration of musicals: with an ACTUAL musical! So tune in while we sing and dance around the issues of fat shaming, racism, and Amanda Bynes! *Hairspray © 2007 New Line Productions, Inc.

Musical Month continues! Kind of. Bryan tried to beer something appropriate for the month's theme, episode 69, AND the nearest episode to 4/20. It turns out Earth Girls Are Easy, while wildly entertaining, is BARELY a musical. But the show must go on! So take some colorful furry Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans aliens, one really horned-up 80s Geena Davis, and sprinkle in a couple songs, and you have this absolutely insane movie. *Earth Girls Are Easy © 1988 Earth Girls Movie Company LTD

Wrap me in felt and stick your hand up my backside! We're Movin' Right Along through Musicals Month and this week is special birthday pick from Dave: It's The Muppet Movie! This movie holds a special place in Dave's heart and it helps Bryan remember where the sun rises and sets. So you know, pretty important. How long until we do a Ray Romano impression? Tune in to find out! *The Muppet Movie © 1979 Disney

Musical month just keeps rolling on, filling our hearts like a baked potato. We're not done with Mr. Trey Parker just yet. Because Bryan beered us a movie from his college days about the horse that got away: Cannibal! The Musical. And we think you know precisely what we mean when we say it's a shpadoinkle episode! Why do we spend so much time talking about Bruce Springsteen, you ask? We don't know either! *Cannibal! The Musical © 1993 Avenging Conscience, Inc. and Cannibal Films Ltd.

We're celebrating musical month! And Dave is starting things off with a bang by beering us South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut! The filthy children of South Park are even filthier on the big screen, and their parents have had enough. But obviously they're not to blame. It's those damn CANADIANS with their beady eyes and flappy jaws! *South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut © 1999 Paramount Pictures

HEY YOU GUYS! You sent us your nostalgic movies for our monthly listener pick episode and right away the ghost of Roger Ebert noticed that multiple people had chosen The Goonies. And Roger knows you gotta give the people what they want! So we've done our best to bring you some treasure, in podcast form. No map required. Hopefully it saves your town from becoming a golf course! *The Goonies © 1985 Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc.

Our steady March (ah?) of Nostalgia continues! This week, Bryan beered us Free Willy and continued the unofficial theme of the month: Dave not quite understanding what's happening here. Sometimes when you get caught defacing a waterpark, you wind up with a sweet job, new friends, a loving family, a sick-ass bedroom, and no criminal charges for stealing a 7,000 lb. sea mammal. So like... I'm not sure what the message is here, but maybe spring for the theft insurance? Also: harmonicas. *Free Willy © 1993 Warner Bros. Productions Ltd., Regency Enterprises V.O.F. and Le Studio Canal+

Put on your nostalgia glasses, because this one might get controversial. We're talking about Steven Spielberg's Hook. It's a movie that the critics didn't love, but we kids did, damnit! Who was right? How has this movie aged? How does Peter Pan age? How does memory work? Are you petty enough to walk up a staircase backwards to maximize hook damage? Did J.M. Barrie say "Lookie lookie, I got bookie!" as he stole this story from a child? How does any of this work!? *Hook © 1991 TriStar Pictures, Inc.

Look. We had a lot of questions. So we gave Writer McStrikely the week off and did a deep dive on exactly what the hell is going on in Disney Pixar's Cars. They're usually pretty good about establishing the rules of each world. We understand how toys, fish, monsters, and robots exist within their universes. Mostly. But Cars is absolutely baffling. One might even say... exhausting. We definitely still have questions. What are your theories? *Cars © 2006 Disney Pixar

If you create a satire that's so true to the thing you're satirizing that people can't be sure whether or not it's satire, does that make it a good satire or a bad satire? This question and many more won't be answered in this week's Starship Troopers episode! Insert obligatory reminder that this is not a political podcast here. *Starship Troopers © 1997 Touchstone Pictures

Near... far... wherever you are, rest assured that we're (metaphorically) never letting go. And to prove that, Dave set out to BREAK THE SHOW this week by beering us Titanic. The mega hit from the late 1900s that had everyone drawing people like French girls. Whole lotta berets and baguettes. Anyway, we know you've been asking: what are the implications to the Cars universe? Tune in to maybe find out. *Titanic © 1997 Paramount Pictures Corporation and Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

This week, Bryan was FULLY TORQUED to beer everyone another star-studded racing movie, less than a month after The Fast and the Furious. So much so, that he forgot to check if it was streaming anywhere. Luckily, some light googling can lead you to a full stream of The Cannonball Run. Be careful though. Some things can't be un-googled, and we won't be held liable for your sudden desire to grow a sweet mustache and illegally race across the entire country. *The Cannonball Run © 1981 Golden Harvest Company/ Eurasia Investments

Dave certainly surprised us with this pick from out of the blue (da ba dee). We're talking about Big Fat Liar! Starring actor-turned-racecar driver Frankie Muniz, actor-turned-uhhh.... Amanda Bynes, and 2024 Best Actor Nominee Paul Giamatti, this movie ought to make you lie about your homework and fly to California. *Big Fat Liar © 2002 Mediastream Zweite Film GmgH & Co. Productions KG

January is just about over, which means this week's episode comes from you! Yes, you! If you're Bill, that is. Listen as we walk on eggshells thanks to some less-than-savory industry professionals. You know, the Singers and Spaceys of the world. These guys tend to pop up on our show from time to time. I guess you might actually call them… The Usual Suspects. Content Warning: Bryan attempts a Scottish accent. It does not go well. *The Usual Suspects © 1995 Rosco Film, GMBH et Bad Hat Harry Productions, Inc.

Our mission, should we choose to accept it: Release a podcast about a particular movie every Monday morning. This week, Bryan failed that mission. Fear not! Nothing has self-destructed! Our Mission: Impossible episode is right here, with all the Tom Cruise movie star espionage antics you'd expect from this iconic film. Also: Miss Piggy. *Mission: Impossible © 1996 Paramount Pictures

Our 2024 resolutions are to make more time for family and live life a quarter mile at a time. But instead we'll probably just steal some dvd players and convince a cop to break bad. Buckle up because this week we're talking about The Fast and the Furious! Get tuned up and tune in! *The Fast and the Furious © 2001 Mediastream Film GMBH & Co. Productions KG