The History of Egypt

The war of the words. Following his strategic defeat at Kadesh, Ramesses set about putting his version of the story into wide circulation. Today, art and texts of this conflict survive at the temples of Abu Simbel, Karnak, Luxor, Abydos, and the Ramesseum. Among those texts, we have the “Literary Record” or “Kadesh Poem.” A lengthy, dramatised version of the events, painting Ramesses as the great hero. In this episode, I introduce the Literary Record and then read it in full, with musical accompaniment by Jeffrey Goodman. LIVESTREAM about "The Art of Kadesh" on Sunday 14 September. To join, simply subscribe to my YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@ancientegypthist. The Livestream will be Sunday September 14 at 16:30 (UK time). This translates to: Berlin, Germany Sun, 14 Sep 2025 at 17:30 CEST London, United Kingdom Sun, 14 Sep 2025 at 16:30 BST New York, USA Sun, 14 Sep 2025 at 11:30 EDT Los Angeles, USA Sun, 14 Sep 2025 at 08:30 PDT Check other timezones here https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html?iso=20250914T153000&p1=37&p2=136&p3=179&p4=137 To learn more about the “Battle of Kadesh” narrative as a piece of literary/historical storytelling, see: Brand, P. J. (2023). Ramesses II: Egypt’s Ultimate Pharaoh. Lockwood Press. https://www.lockwoodpress.com/product-page/ramesses-ii-egypt-s-ultimate-pharaoh-paper Manassa, C. (2013). Imagining the Past: Historical Fiction in New Kingdom Egypt. Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780199982226.003.0003 Spalinger, A. J. (2021). The Books Behind the Masks: Sources of Warfare Leadership in Ancient Egypt. https://doi.org/10.1163/9789004466111 Episode booklet attached below. More music by Jeffrey Goodman www.jeffreygoodman.com and on Spotify. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is the Battle of Kadesh so famous, compared to other ancient conflicts? What can we take away from Ramesses' account in terms of "truth" vs "rhetoric." And what did it all up to, really? Prof. Peter Brand returns to discuss the battle in great detail, from the blow-by-blow moments to the larger strategic and political context. Along the way, we learn why Ramesses is like Rambo, and take a whimsical visit to medieval Bohemia... I'll be doing a livestream about the "Art of Kadesh" on Sun 07 September (UK time). See it at my YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@ancientegypthist Prof. Peter Brand’s book Ramesses II: Egypt’s Ultimate Pharaoh is available now through Lockwood Press and all good retailers. Other articles and publications by Prof. Peter Brand at Academia.edu. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who won? In the aftermath of battle, Ramesses and Muwattalli withdrew from Kadesh. We discuss the short- and long-term fallout and consider the "score card" for the respective armies. Then, we spend time with the wounded soldiers, using the Edwin Smith Papyrus to understand diagnoses and treatments used by ancient Egyptian physicians (swnw). Finally, we explore a curious hypothesis, suggesting that Ramesses practiced a form of "decimation" on his troops... Kadesh LIVESTREAM 06 September (UK time) on “The Art of Kadesh” via our YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@ancientegypthist Want more medicine? My interview with Dr. Bob Brier is available at https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mOg7BanFze6F4DYbSWT4K and my YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/h8I6M7-czYA The Edwin Smith Papyrus: Breasted, J. H. (1930). The Edwin Smith Surgical Papyrus (Vols. 1–2) free online: https://hdl.handle.net/2027/mdp.39015027232282; For a modern medical approach, see Sanchez, G. M., & Meltzer, E. S. (2012). The Edwin Smith Papyrus: Updated Translation of the Trauma Treatise and Modern Medical Commentaries. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Howdy folks. In lieu of a narrative episode this week (while I recover from the quadruple-length Battle of Kadesh), I wanted to alert you to an interview I did for the Autocrat podcast (available on Spotify, YouTube, and the Autocrat website). In a lengthy conversation, we explore the full gamut of Egyptian history from the Creation, through Pharaonic era, the Late Bronze Age Collapse, and up to the Roman Empire in Egypt (and the "last hieroglyphs" ever recorded). It's a fun conversation, please check it out! Autocrat Podcast Website. I include an excerpt from the interview here about a recent article discussing Hatshepsut's shattered statues. Additionally, Dr. Colleen Darnell the Vintage Egyptologist will be joining us on the show soon to discuss New Kingdom military hero tales. Dr. Darnell runs regular online classes about ancient Egypt, which you can find at her website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In June of 1287 BCE (approximately), one of antiquity’s great conflicts unfolded in southern Syria. Meeting near Kadesh (Qidsha), the armies of Egypt and Hatti fought each other in a spectacular engagement. The events of that battle are recorded, somewhat grandiosely, by Ramesses II in temple art and extended hieroglyph narratives. With those as our foundation, we explore the most dramatic day in the young pharaoh’s life. CHAPTERS 0:00 - Prologue 5:45 - Part 1: A Red Dawn 23:46 - Part 2: Sekhet Pay 42:20 - Part 3: Sutech and Ba'al 1:01:31 - Part 4: Doubling Down 1:21:56 - Part 5: White, Black, Red 1:48:58 - Part 6: Wrapping Up == My apologies for any audio blips or inconsistencies in this episode. Alas, just as the recording was done (but before pickups / editing), my microphone started going on the fritz. With no time to replace it, I’m stuck with a slightly unsatisfying sound. As soon as practical, I plan to re-record this episode in a better environment. The History of Egypt Podcast: Website: www.egyptianhistorypodcast.com. Support the show via Patreon www.patreon.com/egyptpodcast. Make a one-time donation via PayPal payments https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/BHC6MGDBC6SXU. We have merch! Browse our designs at Dashery by TeePublic https://egyptpodcast.dashery.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ramesses, Muwattalli, and the Trojans(?). In June of 1287 BCE, the Great Kings of Hatti and Egypt were on the verge of a major confrontation. Ramesses, marching across Sinai and into Canaan, made careful preparations for his assault on Kadesh. Alas, even the best-planned campaign could not be hidden from a watchful enemy. In Hatti, Muwattalli II sent calls to his vassals, summoning them to fight. The Hittite army, and its allies, is a remarkably well-documented force... For the Kikkuli Text of horse training, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kikkuli and https://collections.britishart.yale.edu/catalog/orbis:9782188. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Preparing for Kadesh. In 1287 BCE (late in his fifth regnal year) King Ramesses II departed Egypt on campaign. His target? The city of Kadesh / Qidsha in southern Syria. The Kadesh campaign is famous, as one of history’s “great battles.” Today, we “set the scene,” and explore the preparations for this war. We have a surprisingly detailed picture of this, thanks to inscriptions, art, and excavations. From a new royal city, Pi-Ramesses, to the enormous scale of the army, to the diplomatic manouevres (and espionage) that would accompany this campaign… the preparations for Kadesh are almost as elaborate as the battle itself. Learn more at the Qantir-Piramesse archaeological project: https://qantir-piramesse.de/home/ort/ Digital reconstruction of Pi-Ramesses, incl. its stables, at Artefacts Berlin: https://www.artefacts-berlin.de/portfolio-item/the-reconstruction-of-pi-ramesse/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leading up to the Battle of Kadesh (c.1287 BCE) betwen Ramesses II of Egypt and Muwatalli II of Hatti, we need to understand the background. Why was this city the epicentre of such a major conflict? How did the rulers of Kadesh (Kadeshians?) persistently frustrate pharaohs dating back two centuries to Thutmose III (c.1480 BCE). Today, Prof. Peter Brand (University of Memphis) gives us the details... Learn more about Ramesses and Kadesh in Peter Brand's book Ramesses II: Egypt's Ultimate Pharaoh (Lockwood Press). Prof. Peter Brand at Academia.edu. Interview recorded: May 2025. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We learn how to insult someone in ancient Egyptian, based on the surviving texts... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Heart of Darkness at Zawiyet Umm el-Rakham. Far from the Nile Valley, on Egypt’s northern coastline, Ramessid soldiers and civilians constructed a significant fortress to control the maritime roads. This remote garrison faced off against Libyan tribes coming from the far west (e.g. the Meshwesh of Cyrenaica), traded with Mediterranean merchants, possibly dealt with marauding pirates and Sea Peoples, and built a life for themselves on the western frontier. Alas, it wasn’t all beaches and bonhomie, as soldiers like Nebra, the commander, would learn… Prof. Steven Snape is the author of many books and articles including The Complete Cities of Ancient Egypt (2014); Ancient Egyptian Tombs: The Culture of Life and Death (2011); Zawiyet Umm el-Rakham I: The Temple and the Chapels (with Penny Wilson, 2007); Zawiyet Umm el-Rakham II: The Monuments of Neb-Re (with Glenn Godenho, forthcoming). Learn more about excavations and discoveries at this site in a free lecture, “ Zawiyet Umm el-Rakham and the Ramesside Defence System on the Maryut Coast,” on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ1QelBxYiU& Steven Snape papers and publications at Academia.edu https://liverpool.academia.edu/StevenSnape Steven Snape at The University of Liverpool: https://www.liverpool.ac.uk/people/steven-snape; Research Profile https://www.liverpool.ac.uk/people/steven-snape/research Prof. Snape is currently reading The Arabian Nightmare by Robert Irwin (1983). Wikipedia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a factoid floating around on the internet. It claims that, to ensure fertility and good harvest, pharaohs would annually masturbate into the River Nile. This claim is total bubkis, but where did it come from? Which deities and myths were most closely associated with such concepts? In this mini episode, we explore the factoid and its potential origins. Great gods of fertility and Creation: Allen, J. P. (1988). Genesis in Egypt: The Philosophy of Ancient Egyptian Creation Accounts. Epigraphic Survey. (1940). Medinet Habu, Volume IV. Festival Scenes of Ramses III. Available free via The University of Chicago. Maher-Taha, M., Loyrette, A.-M., & Sayed, S. (1979). Le Ramesseum XI: les fêtes du dieu Min. Olette-Pelletier, J.-G. (2023). Min, l’Horus victorieux: Le dieu Min au Moyen Empire (Vol. 33). Siuda, T. L. (2024). The Complete Encyclopedia of Egyptian Deities. Wilkinson, R. H. (2000). The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt.. Wilkinson, R. H. (2003). The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt. Examples of the factoid: Anonymous, Did Egyptian Pharaohs Masturbate into the Nile? Retrieved June 16, 2025, from https://getmegiddy.com/egyptian-pharaohs-masturbate-into-nile Margolis, J. (2003). O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm. http://archive.org/details/isbn_9780802117861 Menezes, R. (2022, March 21). Pharaohs Had the Grossest Ritual to Keep the Nile Running. Cracked.com. https://www.cracked.com/article_33015_pharaohs-had-the-grossest-ritual-to-keep-the-nile-running.html Taylor, M. (2021). You Know What We Should Bring Back? Ritually Jacking Off into Rivers. MEL Magazine. https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/ancient-egypt-masturbation-nile Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hapi was Egypt. The life-giving waters of the annual flood (inundation) were his work; and thanks to these waters, Egypt flourished, its people were fed, the gods received their offerings, and the social order was maintained. From the New Kingdom, papyrus and ostraca record songs/poems to the river god, called "Praise (dua) of Hapi." From the days of Ramesses II, we also have elaborate proclamations to the god and his blesings... A Hymn to Hapi (excerpt) Hail to you Hapi, who comes forth from the earth, Who arrives to give life to Egypt (Kemet), Hidden of nature, like darkness in the day, Whose followers sing to him, Who floods the fields, created by Ra, Who causes every herd to live, Who satisfies the desert, which is far from water, He (Hapi) is the moisture, descending from the sky… ... Egypt is awakened; its exhaustion has gone! All the creatures celebrate, when (Hapi) makes the Two Banks green. When he pours forth abundance, among the old and young alike. How lovely the lotus, whose blossoms dot the flood, that they may tell the happiness to come. ... Come, O god (Hapi)… do not be slow! Do not be cruel, reducing what we have, for you might do wrong to the innocent… May you (Hapi) give breath to the nose, when you come. O Hapi, do not sink into the ground… Your perfection is here before us, so that we may turn back to your keeping; and the gods are near… ... For more information about Hapi and Hymns to the Nile: Foster, J. L. (1995). Hymns, Prayers, and Songs: An Anthology of Ancient Egyptian Lyric Poetry. Lichtheim, M. (1973). Ancient Egyptian Literature Volume I: The Old and Middle Kingdoms. Quirke, S. (2004). Egyptian Literature 1800 BC: Questions and Readings. Siuda, T. L. (2024). The Complete Encyclopedia of Egyptian Deities. Wilkinson, R. H. (2003). The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What did ancient Egyptians like to smell? Did they use any narcotics in their day to day lives? And what do mummified bodies smell like? Today, I'm pleased to welcome Dora Goldsmith to the podcast. Dora Goldsmith is a PhD-candidate at the Freie Universitat in Berlin, Germany. Specialising in ancient smellscapes, Dora explores how the ancient Egyptians perceived and described the scent of their world. Along the way, Dora introduces us to the favoured perfumes and flowers used by the ancients, some of their “recreational” substances, and how mummified bodies smell today. Publications by Dora Goldsmith at Academia.edu https://fu-berlin.academia.edu/DoraGoldsmith For perfumes and newsletter, email Dora Goldsmith directly at doragold@zedat.fu-berlin.de. Learn more about her reconstructions in the Ancient Egyptian Scent Kit. Follow Dora on Instagram @prof_dora Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're joining YouTube! After many years of on-off effort, I'm finally putting podcast episodes in video form up on my YouTube channel. Also, a quick update on the narrative as a I prepare the Battle of Kadesh... Follow us on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@ancientegypthist Massive thanks to Amr Saleh for taking on the editing duties. I hope you'll all join us on an exciting journey to bring more ancient Egypt to you(tube). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everyone, it’s that time again! In March of 2026, we’re offering a new itinerary in the Nile Valley. This one is called the New Kingdom Cruise. It lasts for ten days, with a special focus on the south, the monuments of Elephantine (Aswan) and Lake Nasser. We ride a cruise boat, organised by Ancient World Tours, and visit monuments of Thutmose III, Sety I, Ramesses II, and even the Roman Emperors. For bookings follow this link and use the password KALABSHA https://www.ancient.co.uk/holiday/history-of-egypt-podcast-2026-the-nubian-cruise/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ramesses II defends his borders. In the early years of his reign, Ramesses focussed on home defence. His army established new forts at remote locations along the western Delta and Mediterranean Coast (Marmarica). Traces of this work can be found at famous locations like el-Alamein, Mersa Matruh, and Zawiyet Umm el-Rakham, the latter of which has been the object of detailed excavation in recent decades. Apparently, Ramesses was fortifying his frontiers, guarding the western approaches to Egypt. Soon after, the pharaoh went forth on campaign. His target? The cities of Canaan and Amurru, in modern-day Lebanon. Along the way, he left inscriptions at Nahr el-Kalb, which started a surprisingly long-lived tradition... Music: "War" by Ancient Lyric (commissioned by The History of Egypt Podcast). Website: www.egyptianhistorypodcast.com. Support the show via Patreon www.patreon.com/egyptpodcast. Make a one-time donation via PayPal payments https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/BHC6MGDBC6SXU. We have merch! Browse our designs at Dashery by TeePublic https://egyptpodcast.dashery.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fellow podcaster Scott Chesworth, from The Ancient World has a new season. I’m excited to introduce “The Ancient World – Ages”, a series covering the Early Bronze Age Collapse (c. 2200 BC) and the remaking of Southwest Eurasia. In this feed swap, you’ll hear episode A3 – The Kings of Kish. It covers the period c.2900 BCE and 2350 BCE, also known as the Early Dynastic Period in Sumer. A time of kings, emerging from legends. Figures like Gilgamesh, burial sites like the Royal Cemetery of Ur, and the legendary conflict between the gods Lagash and Umma, recorded on the Stela of the Vultures. Along the way, Scott will introduce you to history’s earliest-known diplomacy, bilateral treaty, and legal codes. Finally, Scott will set the stage for the most famous conqueror of the day: Sargon of Akkad. The Ancient World – Ages promises to by an exciting, big picture history of this ancient period. While the Egyptians were focused on pyramids, rulers in Mesopotamia were kicking Kish and taking names. Please, consider joining Scott on this epic journey. Website: https://ancientworldpodcast.com/ Scott Chesworth's The Ancient World is available on Spotify, Apple, and all good podcasting apps. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ramesses goes back to school. Luxor Temple is a magnificent monument, in a city full of them. The sanctuary you visit today is, in large part, the work of Ramesses' early reign. New pylons, colossal statues, obelisks, and dedicatory texts provide the testament to the young pharaoh's work. Exploring these, we also get a surprising insight into temple archives and educational facilities, embodied in the Per-Ankh / House of Life... Outro music: Jeffrey Goodman, "Prophetic Harps of Amun-Ra," used with permission. Website: www.egyptianhistorypodcast.com. Support the show via Patreon www.patreon.com/egyptpodcast. Make a one-time donation via PayPal payments https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/BHC6MGDBC6SXU. We have merch! Browse our designs at Dashery by TeePublic https://egyptpodcast.dashery.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delta raiders. Decades before their famous migrations, the "Sea Peoples" were already active and visible in the eastern Mediterranean; and Ramesses II had his own dealings with these groups. In year 2 of his reign, Ramesses II (Usir-Ma'at-Ra) dealt with a coastal raid by the Sherden, who came from the "islands in the midst" of the sea (which the Egyptians called the "Great Green"). The battle, and its aftermath, is referenced in several of Ramesses' inscriptions. We explore this curious first chapter in the Sea Peoples' story... Music: Michael Levy "Odysseus and the Sirens” www.ancientlyre.com Website: www.egyptianhistorypodcast.com Support the show via Patreon www.patreon.com/egyptpodcast Make a one-time donation via PayPal payments https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/BHC6MGDBC6SXU We have merch! Browse our designs at Dashery by TeePublic https://egyptpodcast.dashery.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The new royal tomb, and how two 18th Dynasty rulers defined the "New Kingdom" as we know it. Prof. Aidan Dodson is a dedicated and prolific scholar, whose research covers many facets of ancient Egyptian history (and even WW1 warships!) His latest book, Thutmose III & Hatshepsut: Pharaohs of Egypt - Their Lives and Afterlives looks at how these two monarchs, and their followers, defined many of the aspects of "pharaonic culture" as we imagine it. Along the way, we also discuss the new royal tomb, its significance, and its connection to these famous figures. Prof. Aidan Dodson at Academia.edu and the University of Bristol. Book: Thutmose III and Hatshepsut, Pharaohs of Egypt at AUC Press. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices