Ballroom State of Mind

You are always training something—so what are you training? In this episode, we unpack why focus feels harder than ever and how modern life has quietly trained us to favor distraction. You’ll learn how to retrain your attention like a muscle, clear the mental clutter that keeps you scattered, and bring intentional focus back to your dancing and daily life. Amber shares practical ways to strengthen concentration—both in everyday moments and on the competition floor—so you can stay present, connected, and in control no matter what’s happening around you. Whether you struggle to stay focused in ballroom lessons, drift during dance practice, or lose presence when you compete, this episode will help you reclaim your attention as your most powerful tool. You’ll learn: Why distraction has become our default setting (and how to undo it) How to train focus in your dancing like any other discipline What physical, emotional, and mental factors quietly sabotage attention Simple “focus reps” you can build into daily life How to use focus to improve your practice and performance on the floor Dance Strategy Calls are back on and you can ⁠book one now⁠ if you'd like to investigate private coaching! Bring your dance concern and we'll strategize in a short 30 minute mini session!

Many ballroom dancers have an issue with comparison! We see so many great dancers around us and want to be great as soon as possible! But looking around too much at what's outside us can lead to us neglecting the gifts that we possess. Dancers are interested and inspiring because each is different and unique. To be like everyone else would be a mistake! In this episode, I offer a bit of a metaphor to help us reset our perspective and gain renewed interest in what we have to offer and why focusing on that instead of what we lack will change your dancing in the best ways! Dance Strategy Calls are back on and you can ⁠book one now⁠ if you'd like to investigate private coaching! Bring your dance concern and we'll strategize in a short 30 minute mini session!

Frustration isn’t a sign you’re failing—it’s proof you’re learning. In this episode, Amber reframes frustration as evidence you’re operating in the learning zone, not the comfort zone. You’ll learn why frustration is normal, how much of it comes from the story you’re telling yourself, and how to keep moving forward even when it feels uncomfortable. You’ll discover: Why frustration means you’re on the right track How your thoughts can turn up—or turn down—the intensity The link between resilience and frustration tolerance A simple process to reframe and move through it Frustration doesn’t have to stop your progress. In fact, everything you want is on the other side of it. Dance Strategy Calls are back on and you can book one now if you'd like to investigate private coaching! Bring your dance concern and we'll strategize in a short 30 minute mini session!

Why would a coach ever tell you not to listen to her? In this episode, I’m flipping the script. I walk through four reasons you might think I’m not the right person to guide you — and then show you why those very reasons are exactly what make me the right coach for dancers like you. From not being a professional dancer, to making mistakes, to not having “fancy letters” after my name, to not telling you exactly what to do… each of these “weaknesses” is actually a strength. By the end, you’ll see that what disqualifies you in your own mind might actually be what makes you perfectly positioned to shine. Get on my email list HERE to be notified when the Ballroom State of Mind Coaching Program reopens it's doors for Private and Group Coaching!

Have you ever felt raw, exposed, or even regretful after a competition, showcase, or intense lesson—no matter how well it went? That’s what Brené Brown calls a vulnerability hangover. In this episode, I unpack what it means, how it shows up for dancers, and why it’s actually a sign of courage, not weakness. You’ll hear real examples from lessons, coaching, and competitions, plus practical ways to process those tender feelings with compassion. Vulnerability isn’t something to “fix”—it’s proof that you’re brave enough to keep growing. New clients who want into the Ballroom State of Mind Coaching Program can go HERE to purchase the entry package. After the initial 3 months, you can stay in the group for a low monthly rate! See you inside!

In this episode of Ballroom State of Mind, we dive into a common but confidence-killing habit dancers don’t even realize they’re doing: deflecting compliments with “Yeah, but…” Whether it’s brushing off a coach’s praise, downplaying your competition results, or minimizing progress others can clearly see — this reflexive response quietly erodes your self-esteem. We explore why dancers do it, how it sabotages both confidence and energy, and what to do instead. Learn how to recognize this pattern, receive acknowledgment with gratitude, and stop pushing away the very things you want more of. This episode is packed with real examples, mindset shifts, and a new way to let your wins count. To get on my email list so you don't miss any announcements, or to get this episode sent right to your inbox, go ⁠HERE⁠. Go ⁠HERE⁠ if you're ready to start ballroom mindset and confidence coaching NOW

Your dancing is SO important, right? You invest a lot of time, effort, and money into this thing and it really matters, right? Or maybe not? Sometimes we have let the dance pressure get too high and it becomes counter-productive. The stress to please your teacher and produce what you have worked on can be too much. When the stress is high and it's creating problems, sometimes the mindset we need is actually not that this matters and is super important. The vibe we might just need is: It's not that deep. Step back and remember why you are here...what this is about. What is really at stake? Nothing unless you deem it so. In this episode we bring the pressure down and ironically, your results might just go up as you always wanted anyway. Reminder: Tuesday, Aug 26, 2025 at 3:30pm PT, I am reopening my coaching program starting with an info call. You should come. Go HERE to register. If you can't make it live, I'll send you the replay via email. To get on the list, go HERE. Go HERE if you're new and ready to get coaching NOW Episodes mentioned: Episode 2: Stages of Development Episode 81: This Isn't About Dancing at All

If you find yourself ruminating on possible negatives outcomes, catastrophizing what might happen, and/or avoiding certain aspects in your dancing, you might be problem-avoiding. Anyone avoid watching their own videos? No? Just me? Well if you are avoiding problems or things that you fear in your ballroom dancing, I guarantee it's leading to small, hesitant, forced, tense dancing. Your lessons and coaching aren't as effective and your practice is probably non-existent at this point. None of us want to dance from that fearful stance. Instead, try on a problem-solving attitude instead of problem avoiding. You are plenty brave and you can solve anything that comes your way. See if you can find yourself in this episode! ALSO....heads up!! Private coaching is coming back and it comes with a HUGE new offering!! Listen in to the episode to get the teaser! Join my Facebook Group,⁠ JOYFUL BALLROOM ⁠to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

What might I say to a newer ballroom dancer that was just getting started? This was asked of me in a recent coaching session with a brand new bronze level dancer. I answered her questions and decided to pass some of the answers on to you. Even as a seasoned dancer, I think you will find yourself in these 7 pieces of advice: Listen in and enjoy!! Go HERE to get on my waitlist for my group coaching program! Scroll to the bottom and click on the "JOIN THE WAITLIST" button! Join my Facebook Group,⁠ JOYFUL BALLROOM ⁠to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

After pushing forward from Newcomer to Open American Rhythm in 5 years, I have been feeling the fatigue. Am I tired? Burned out? Unmotivated? Being burned out is just one of many reasons you might find yourself unmotivated. In this episode, we provide 8 common reasons amateur and pro/am ballroom dancers, or any dancers for that matter, might find it hard to be motivated: -Comparison -Perfectionism -Unclear or unrealistic expectations -Lack of visible progress -Negative self-talk -Over-reliance on external validation -Burnout -Fear of failure or fear of being judged Can you see yourself in any of them?? Listen in to get some help! By way of announcement, we are steadily adding podcast episodes to YouTube on my YT channel, ⁠Amber Haider Coaching⁠. Go check it out and share with your fellow ballroom, salsa, country, and other partner dance friends! Join my Facebook Group,⁠ JOYFUL BALLROOM ⁠to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

All dancers can relate to wanting to be more confident. If we could just dance more confidently, with less anxiety and more freedom we could finally show up as the dancer that we want to. But as a ballroom dancer, standing on deck, ready to go on the floor, feeling all of that anxiety and pressure to please our partner, teacher, and/or ourselves, the pressure can prove to be too much. We might think that we want to be calm, or relaxed. This week I want to try on the idea that what we actually want to feel is self trust. Self trust might be a concept that we have not considered in the past as the antidote to anxiety and the key to dance confidence. Listen in as we offer three dimensions of self trust. Your PAST self, your PRESENT self and your FUTURE self all have specific ways that they can offer you ways to trust yourself. By way of announcement, we are steadily adding podast episodes to YouTube on my TY channel, Amber Haider Coaching. Go check it out and share with your fellow ballroom, salsa, country, and other partner dance friends! Join my Facebook Group, JOYFUL BALLROOM to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

It can be easy to get discouraged when you have been working hard at something and you're not seeing the results that you want. All humans love a good immediate reward for a job well done. But sometimes the results are slow in coming. In this episode we talk about being patient with the process and continuing to work it. The most exceptional people are enormously patient with applying the process that will get them the results that they want. Are you in that class of dancer? Book referenced: How Champions Think, by Bob Rotella Listen/watch the podcast on YouTube! Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for 2025 and a brand new offer! To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE. Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

If you are concerned or having doubts about one or more of your dance relationships, listen in to this episode. I list 5 stages that relationships tend to go through no matter what kind of relationship it is...work, family, romantic, friendships, etc. These stages exist whether you are the student or the teacher, the male or the female or otherwise. The stages are: I guarantee you'll see yourself in this episode and gain some clarity about what is happening in your dance relationships. Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for 2025 and a brand new offer! To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE. Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

Sometimes trying to be positive just isn't working. Maybe it's an injury, maybe you've been competing a long time and never won. Maybe you've been trying to break into the next level and you're just plain discouraged. People can try to offer you all kinds of platitudes and solutions, but if none of that is working...maybe it's time to just be discouraged. We can be afraid to just allow it because we fear it will take over and swallow us up. But when we remember that we can maintain ownership of the experience while simultaneously allowing ourselves to go through it, we can finally process it enough such that other things we try can take hold...things we discussed in Episode 62 Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer! To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE. Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

In episode 105, we introduced the term glitch to represent the moment where a ballroom dancer gets distracted and knocked out of the zone. In this episode, we give you two more tools to add on to the idea of a glitch. After a glitch happens, you may find yourself in "limbo" where you are past the undesirable moment but haven't moved forward yet. The limbo moment can feel like a confusing, out-of-body experience where your brain got knocked offline and hasn't come back on yet. Our goal is to minimize limbo and move on quickly by flushing that moment and then "locking-in." Locking in is the term we will use to describe consciously making the decision about moving forward out of limbo. Listen in for more guidance on these terms and how to use them to recover faster, build resilience and improve your dancing! Gohere to sign up for the 2 week free trial membership for the Dance Wellness Community. I'm participating in a call next Tuesday, Feb 18 at 11:30 am PT. You should come!! Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer! To get on the interest list for what's coming, goHERE. GoHERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

This episode is a continuation of the previous and explores 5 specific limiting beliefs that I have heard dancers express in our private coaching sessions. They are: 1. If I’m not practicing on my own, I shouldn’t keep taking/paying for lessons 2. I shouldn’t keep doing this is if I’m never going to win 3. I’ll never be as successful as the students with more money/time/resources 4. I shouldn’t compete/perform until I’ve mastered every detail 5. If it’s not coming naturally/easily, I’m not cut out for it Listen in for why they are a problem and an alternative belief for each one. Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer! To get on the interest list for what's coming, go ⁠HERE.⁠ Go ⁠HERE⁠ to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

All of us make decisions in our life that are heavily influenced by our beliefs. Beliefs are things that we believe to be true that govern the way we move about the world. They are shaped by our history, the people who raised us or influenced us and often they are unconscious and develop over time. However, beliefs are just thoughts. They are thoughts that we have rehearsed so many times that they seem inherently true, yet they are just thoughts. Thoughts are optional. Thoughts can be changed at any time. A lot of our beliefs serve us well but many do not. Some of the sneakiest beliefs SEEM good but are actually holding us back or sabotaging us. In this episode, we offer 4 beliefs for you to questions and explore. These first 4 are inspired by the book The Confident Mind by Nate Zinsser. Go HERE for your own copy. Part two of this will come in the next episode. Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer! To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE. Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

Why does ballroom dance have to be so freaking expensive? Just like the cost of everything has been going up, many dancers are finding their studios and teachers raising their rates. If it already felt expensive to you, if it was already a stretch, and you feel like you can’t take it anymore, you are not alone. However, in this episode I want to bring us back to earth. Whatever the circumstances are for us at any given time, we can make the best of it. So rather than getting a little stuck in scarcity–which is VALID–I want to empower you to find abundance and resourcefulness. Or walk away if that’s what needs to happen. Either way, I think love and trust and abundance will serve us better than fear, scarcity and victim mentality. Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer! To get on the interest list for what’s coming, go HERE. Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

Sometimes as dancers we have a problem that we want to discuss with our teacher but it's hard to bring it up. We don't want to hurt their feelings or harm the relationship. Maybe we are people pleasing or maybe we just aren't sure what is a reasonable request and what isn't. In this episode, we've invited Mary Pinizzotto, a dancer teacher from Kansas City to bring the teacher's perspective to the conversation. She brings her knowledge of relationships and communication plus 35 years of teacher experience to weigh-in. Whether it's teacher's being late, allowing interruptions during lesson time, or failing to be responsive in communication, or it seems like they are holding you back when you are ready for the next level, we talk about it in this episode along with some strategies to approach the conversation. Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer! To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE. Go HERE to connect with Mary Pinizzotto Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

"I just want to feel like I belong. I don't even have to be the best one, but I want to feel like I look like everyone else and have a right to be there." This is an interesting topic to explore--belonging. In this episode, we try to define it, determine why it can be confusing and elusive, and then define for ourselves what it means so that we can grant it to ourselves and reap the benefits of this belief. Don't forget that private coaching sessions will be a thing of the past in 2025. Dance Strategy Calls are done and the only way to get private coaching is through the current deal that expires on Friday, Dec 6. 2024. Go HERE to buy a set or two for yourself or a dancer you love!