Near Death By A Thousand Cuts
Andrew Butters
Pregnant and dealing with a bout of morning sickness, Andrew Butters' soon-to-be mom handed the keys to her car to her husband and asked him to start it up. He cranked the engine and released the clutch, not realizing it was still in gear. The car lurched forward, striking her in the caboose and launching her into the ditch. Thus began her unborn son's adventures in misfortune.
Told in the style of a friend at the pub recounting a tall tale that begins, "Have I told you about the time...," Near Death by a Thousand Cuts takes you on a wild and crazy forty-eight-year journey filled with accidents, injuries, and medical procedures guaranteed to make you simultaneously wince and laugh to the point of tears.
Duration - 3h 50m.
Author - Andrew Butters.
Narrator - Andrew Butters.
Published Date - Sunday, 01 January 2023.
Copyright - © 2023 Andrew Butters ©.
Location:
United States
Description:
Pregnant and dealing with a bout of morning sickness, Andrew Butters' soon-to-be mom handed the keys to her car to her husband and asked him to start it up. He cranked the engine and released the clutch, not realizing it was still in gear. The car lurched forward, striking her in the caboose and launching her into the ditch. Thus began her unborn son's adventures in misfortune. Told in the style of a friend at the pub recounting a tall tale that begins, "Have I told you about the time...," Near Death by a Thousand Cuts takes you on a wild and crazy forty-eight-year journey filled with accidents, injuries, and medical procedures guaranteed to make you simultaneously wince and laugh to the point of tears. Duration - 3h 50m. Author - Andrew Butters. Narrator - Andrew Butters. Published Date - Sunday, 01 January 2023. Copyright - © 2023 Andrew Butters ©.
Language:
English
Opening Credits
Duration:00:00:09
Dedication and Disclaimers
Duration:00:01:15
Introduction Section Break
Duration:00:00:03
Introduction
Duration:00:06:50
A Sign Of Things To Come
Duration:00:04:45
Dishonourable Mentions
Duration:00:11:31
Head and Shoulders Section Break
Duration:00:00:03
Here Comes the Sun (Part I)
Duration:00:04:00
God Save The Queen
Duration:00:03:00
Off With His Head (Part I)
Duration:00:11:00
Off With His Head (Part II)
Duration:00:06:06
Off With His Head (Part III)
Duration:00:11:03
Let's Face It
Duration:00:14:32
The Nose Knows (And So Does The Sub Girl)
Duration:00:08:41
Knees and Toes Section Break
Duration:00:00:04
Here Comes The Sub (Part II)
Duration:00:04:43
Ankle Biters
Duration:00:05:23
Ice Dancing (Part I)
Duration:00:06:53
Toe Jam
Duration:00:06:13
Merry Christmas!
Duration:00:04:56
Upper Limbs and Phalanges Section Break
Duration:00:00:04
Ice Dancing (Part II)
Duration:00:09:29
A Potpourri of Damaged Digits
Duration:00:09:41
I Really Shouldn't Be Allowed Near Power Tools
Duration:00:09:37
I Shouldn't Be Allowed Near Regular Tools Either
Duration:00:09:39
Third Place!
Duration:00:04:25
Go Home And Tell Your Parents
Duration:00:13:25
Stop, Drop, and Roll
Duration:00:09:52
Torso and Near The Equator Section Break
Duration:00:00:04
Spare Ribs
Duration:00:07:22
Back To Square One
Duration:00:05:31
They Tell Me It's Like Giving Birth
Duration:00:08:30
Lieutenant Funrod and The Two Gentlemen
Duration:00:05:26
I Know A Guy
Duration:00:07:07
So You're Going To Have An Enema (Part I)
Duration:00:10:58
So You're Going To Have An Enema (Part II)
Duration:00:05:09
Epilogue Section Break
Duration:00:00:03
Ending Credits
Duration:00:00:07