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Episode 26 - Stupid People: Schnapps Forts

There are a lot of dumb people around, right? Surely it has never been this bad before, has it? Well...we got some bad news for you. Welcome back for this week's episode. This time, we will cover the ancient Chinese (dumb), the Ancient Greece (real dumb), and the 18th Century Austrian Army (king of the smooth brains). You'll not hear more about drunken donkeys anywhere else on the internet! Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wan_Hu https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths...


Mini-Episode 5 - Tornadoes: Skeletons of Trees

The boys were busy this week so we have a mini-episode for you about the think Mike fears most in this world: Tornadoes. We will be back next week with a full show, but until then enjoy the soothing sounds of Mike.


Episode 25 - Cosmetics: Buttered Stink Hat

Welcome back everybody! For this week, we have another user suggested episode topic: Cosmetics! Come along with Mike and Lincoln as they explore why literally everyone used to cover themselves in lead, the disgusting ingredients in a Roman face-mask, and the sheer sexism and misogyny that drove most of cosmetic use throughout history. This one should make you angry! Sources: https://cosmeticsinfo.org/Ancient-history-cosmetics...


Episode 24 - Worker's Rights: They Can't Kill Us All!

Eat your pheasant, drink your wine, your time has come...uh, sorry. Got a little excited there. Anyways, welcome back listeners! This week, Lincoln is in a rage as we discuss the roller coaster that is the history of worker's rights. We'll talk about the differences between the Ancient Greek and Roman social safety nets, the upward bump caused by the Black Death, Appalachian coal miners literally going to war for the right to unionize, and one political party's attempts to set us back 100...


Episode 23 - Severe Weather: Spinny Cloudy Thing

Welcome back everyone! This week, we get topical as we cover weather! We'll talk about how extreme weather led to some civilizations collapsing, the Japanese getting saved by a divine wind, the English getting saved by a Protestant Wind, and a tornado so large people thought it was fog rolling in. It is actually terrifying to think about. And yes, I did watch 'Twister' immediately after recording this episode. Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climate_of_Ancient_Rome...


Episode 22 - Communication: Roman Vuvuzelas

Welcome to a less gore-filled episode of Everything's Just Fine! This week, we cover the history of communication, from the beacon fires of Gondor...I mean Europe, to the modern convenience of the cell phone. Also, the first phone call in history was real lame. Sources: https://www.wired.com/2008/03/dayintech-0310/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drums_in_communication http://www.hellenicaworld.com/Greece/ImagesGR/StentorophonicTube.jpg https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_bell...


Episode 21 - Executions (Part Two): Party Foul

Welcome to the final part of our series on executions! While it will be hard to top death by elephant, the methods we cover this week may be even more cruel. We'll learn about the Roman way of punishing mutiny, giant wheels and the men who used them, the Assyrian penchant for removing skin, and the terror of the Brazen Bull. Once again, it gets kind of gross: Sources: http://www.historyrundown.com/10-most-cruel-execution-methods-of-all-time/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scaphism...


Episode 20 - Executions (Part One): Why Would The Elephant God Allow This?

20 episodes! Wow! Great job everybody. This week, we have the first part of our episode on executions. We start simple with classics such as stoning and beheading but we soon move into more imaginative territory. Come along as we go over the excruciating Death by 1,000 Cuts, the Salem Witch-era Crushing (More Weight!), Throwing to the Ashes, Crucifixion, and the morbid - but hilarious - execution by elephant. Man, we really cannot stop screwing over the pachyderms. Sources:...


Episode 19 - Imprisonment (Part Three): Rectal Knives

Welcome to the final part of our series on prisons. This week we cover the unmitigated disaster that is America's prison system. From Civil War prisons, jails in Yuma, accidental decapitations, to the current gang-plagued halls of places like Pelican Bay, we go over quite a bit in our quest to find out where it all went wrong (COUGH *War on Drugs* COUGH). This one may make you a little mad. Sources: http://www.history.org/foundation/journal/summer11/prison.cfm...


Episode 18 - Imprisonment (Part Two): A High of -42°C

We are back with Part Two of our series on prisons. This week we cover the start of everyone's favorite penal colony (Australia), talk about the epidemic of Vampire Bats on Devil's Island, explore the cruelty and cold of Tsarists prisons and Soviet Gulags, and remind everyone why the Nazis were just the worst. Sources: https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/first-australian-penal-colony-established http://www.prisonhistory.net/famous-prisons/devils-island/...


Episode 17 - Imprisonment (Part One): Cruel By Today's Standards

Episode 17 everyone! This week, we go in-depth with humanity's history of imprisonment. Come learn about how son's could pay for the crimes of their fathers in ancient Mesopotamia, the sewer dungeons of Rome, the difference between medieval Italian and German prisons, and the 'Bloody Code' of England. As always, it gets kind of gross. Sources: https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-ancient-traditions/prisons-and-imprisonment-ancient-world-punishments-used-maintain-public-020588...


Episode 16 - Disgusting Jobs: An Empire Built on Pee

Psst, hey kids...wanna learn something gross? I hope so, because this week's episode is all about dooky. Find out how humans throughout history have cleaned up feces, stretched out innards, robbed graves, turned bones into baby chew-toys, and checked on the health of their king by methodically checking their leavings. Honestly, I don't know how this show continues to get more disgusting week-to-week. It is a real accomplishment. Sources: https://www.bbc.com/news/business-35958730...


Special Guest Episode 1 - Science Deniers: Everyone's Bigfoot

Welcome to our first Special Guest Episode! This week we are bringing in our friend Nathanael, an expert in all things weird. In this episode we discuss the history of science denial and its implications across the years. Come hear about anti-vaxers (dumb), those who thing aliens built the pyramids (dumb), cryptids (awesome and dumb), and Skinwalker Ranch (totally real). It gets esoteric (i.e. really damn weird).


Episode 15 - Sexually Transmitted Diseases: Soup Can Condom

We are back with a regular show (finally)! This week, prepare to be grossed out as we cover humanity's history with sexually transmitted diseases and all the really dumb ways we have tried to cure them (mercury poisoning incoming!). Follow us as we take you from the Egyptian injections of sandalwood oil into your urethra, Leviticus' slightly unorthodox method of treating gonorrhea, and the return of that old stand-by: Leeches! Seriously, it is really disgusting. Sources: The Bible (for real)...


Mini-Episode 3 - Short Faced Bear: Nature's Great Wall

Mike is gone again so this week Lincoln is bringing you another short episode, this time about that slayer of men and bringer of pain...the Short Faced Bear. Come along on this quick journey as we explore this monstrous creature and the consequences faced as it ran into another great predator: Man! (Cue 'Bambi' hunter theme). It will be a violent delight. Sources: https://www.livescience.com/2747-caveman-modern-human-win-olympic-gold.html...


Episode 14 - Construction: Good Job, Slaves!

We're back with a new full-length episode! If you think your construction job is tough, just listen to this one. After hearing about collapsing roofs, lead gutters, and faulty scaffolding, you'll be ready to pen a hand-written thank you note to OSHA. Sources: https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/careers/2018/01/09/workplace-fatalities-25-most-dangerous-jobs-america/1002500001/ http://humanorigins.si.edu/evidence/behavior/stone-tools/early-stone-age-tools...


Mini-Episode 2 - Cryptids: Cat-Faced Worms

We got a short one for you this week since we were down a host, but it is a good one. Lincoln goes over the history of cryptids and covers some of the more ridiculous ones from throughout time. Want to learn about man-eating trees, giant cat-faced lizards, and the vicious, man-eating, Irish river otter? Then you've come to the right place. Sources: http://cryptidz.wikia.com/wiki/History_of_Cryptozoology_Timeline https://io9.gizmodo.com/5814976/cryptids-that-turned-out-be-absolutely-real...


Episode 13 - Travel (Part Four): Death Balloons

The final episode of our series on travel has arrived! This week we go over the relatively recent history of successful air travel while covering those lovable idiots who tried (and failed) to fly in times past. Follow along as we discuss the deadly year of 1985, the idiocy of using hydrogen in your rigid air ships, Germans bombing infants, and much more. Sources: https://science.howstuffworks.com/transport/flight/classic/ten-bungled-flight-attempt1.htm...


Episode 12 - Travel (Part Three): Drowned While on Fire

Part three is here! This week, we get into the nitty gritty of trains and cars as we examine the horrifying job of stopping trains with big sticks, exploding Sunday School kids, the death traps that are early cars, and Ford's unwillingness to spend more than a few cents to keep its customers from burning to death. It is a lot of fun. Sources: http://oldphotoarchive.com/stories/train-travel-in-the-1800s-15-photos/4...


Episode 11 - Travel (Part Two): Sunburned to Death

Welcome to Part Two of our series covering travel! This week, we go over humanity's long relationship with the sea as we cover early mariners and their crappy boats, piracy, kamikaze, scurvy, and sea monsters! Come learn about Julius Caesar's encounter with pirates in his younger days and see how he earned his reputation for ruthlessness early, the turnabout naval captain William Kidd, the British refusing to take practical advice from a Scottish guy, and how WWI U-Boats kept having run-ins...