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Fanimorphs: The Dork-Bajir Chronicles

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Animorphs #21: The Threat

6/18/2018
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We’re back for the second book in the David Trilogy: Animorphs #21: The Threat. Oooh, ominous name. Join Mikael, Tessa, and Brayden for another deep dive into perhaps the most famous story arc in the entire series! We talk the difference between killing humans versus animals, how elaborate can a hologram trick ACTUALLY be, and listen as Brayden slowly excuses more and more of David’s behaviour. We also go over our theories of what the Animorphs could have done other offer David membership...

Duration:00:45:06

Live from the Gardens: The Discovery

6/11/2018
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This week on Live from the Gardens, we call in our snake expert to walk us through some crazy snake trivia! Listen in as Brayden and Mikael try to understand these mysterious reptiles and try to forget how horrible it is that David kept a cobra in a cardboard box under his bed (see last week’s episode if that statement made no sense to you). If you think you’ll be offended by hearing about how they make snake skin or the existence of snakes with legs, don’t listen to this...

Duration:00:59:25

Animorphs #20: The Discovery

6/4/2018
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Finally: THE DAVID TRILOGY BEGINS! The Dork-Bajir Chronicles begins perhaps its darkest journey yet as it delves into the first of the three David books: Animorphs #20: The Discovery! We talk sociopathic friends we had as children, upsets in the Rachelco OTP, and just how dumb the Animorphs behaved in this book. If you’re into hearing Tessa and Brayden fighting in a maybe=not-so-professional way, this episode’s for you.

Duration:01:07:54

TV Series: Episode 7 and 8

5/28/2018
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Our first television journey is almost at an end! To cap off the month, we watch episodes 7 and 8 of the Animorphs TV show: “The Escape” and “The Alien.” Things get rowdy as the three of us (plus Jarred) talk about hospital escapades and how Ax can act so incredibly stupidly. We are once again joined by non-Animorphs-reader Jarred McClure from the 2 Nerds in a Basement podcast (spoiler, he confirms some very real theories Mikael has about Marco and Rachel in this episode)! You can find...

Duration:00:52:26

TV Series: Episode 5 and 6

5/21/2018
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The month of madness continues as we delve into Episodes 5 and 6 of the Animorphs TV Series: “Between Friends” and “The Message”! Get ready for some more great “morphing” animations and the words “Andalite cousin” being spoken like a hundred times. We are once again joined by goofster Jarred McClure from the 2 Nerds in a Basement podcast! You can find more of his stuff at collectivelegacy.org/2nerdsinabasement or on instagram at @vanillajayy.

Duration:00:51:43

TV Series: Episodes 3 and 4

5/14/2018
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We’re back for more! We jump in to Episodes 3 and 4 of the Animorphs TV series: “Underground” and “On the Run”! These are the episodes where the gang infiltrates the cult--I mean totally believable front for the Yeerks--called The Sharing and also the ones where they lose the Andalite’s disc and Marco has to look for it in a Dumpster. Woops! We are once again joined by goofster Jarred McClure from the 2 Nerds in a Basement podcast! You can find more of his stuff at...

Duration:00:52:42

TV Series: Episodes 1 and 2

5/7/2018
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The month of madness has begun! The Dork-Bajir Chronicles digs into the Animorphs television series by discussing the first two episodes titled “My Name is Jake.” For the rest of the month of May, our stalwart literary critics will be reviewing two episodes of the television series every week so strap in! On top of all this, our regular hosts are joined by the one and only Jarred McClure, friend of the show and a confirmed non-reader of the Animorph books. Jarred will help our hosts stay...

Duration:01:02:04

Live from the Gardens: The Departure

4/30/2018
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Strap in for some transformative discussion of the caterpillar and the butterfly, the two main morphs we saw in Animorphs #19: The Departure! What kind of danger do caterpillars pose to humans? What’s the difference between a butterfly and moth chrysalis? How do butterflies taste stuff? Find out the answer to this and many more questions on this metamorphic episode of Live from the Gardens! Hypothetical Question of the Week: If you could pupate and come out the other side as someone...

Duration:00:35:29

Animorphs #19: The Departure

4/23/2018
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Tune in this week as The Dork-Bajir Chronicles covers Animorphs #19: The Decision, the one where Cassie decides to leave the Animorphs and trusts a Yeerk way too much! We dig into the real nitty gritty of the series in what is probably the best Cassie book to date. As she befriends a Controller and even protects her enemy from harm, the Fanimorphs go back and forth over the philosophy of the war and the series itself. Also, don’t worry: there’s plenty of stupid jokes to tide you over the...

Duration:00:48:27

Live from the Gardens: In The Time of Dinosaurs

4/16/2018
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Spearheaded by the all-knowing dinosaur expert Scottie of the Thagomizers Youtube channel, our stalwart heroes dive into a mega-dino quiz this week on Live from the Gardens! Mikael takes a backseat and joins the huddled masses as Scottie quizzes the Fanimorphs and delivers more information than any other episode of Live from the Gardens ever has. Tune in to learn more about Pteranodons and other dinos that are hard to spell! Hypothetical Question fo the Week: Which of the dinosaurs from...

Duration:01:11:10

Megamorphs #2: In The Time of Dinosaurs

4/9/2018
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We dive into another “everyone’s a narrator” book as the gang travels back in time via, you guessed it, a Sario Rip. It’s dinos for days on this very special episode about Megamorphs #2: In the Time of Dinosaurs! We talk about everything from why A Bug’s Life is better than Ants to the stupidity that is the asymmetrical crab people: the Macaroons.

Duration:00:51:32

Live from the Gardens: The Decision

4/2/2018
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This week on Live from the Gardens we’re talkin’ Northern Harrier and Mosquitoes, the two morphs from Animorphs #18: The Decision! Why are harriers “one of the good ones” when it comes to farmers? What DO mosquitoes do with blood after they suck it out of you? What are the Northern Harriers nicknames? Tune in to find out! Hypothetical Question of the Week: If both animals were the stars of a sitcom, what would that sitcom be about?

Duration:00:48:35

Animorphs #18: The Decision

3/25/2018
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The Fanimorphs seep into the mind of a purple alien slash scorpion centaur this week as they talk about Animorphs #18: The Decision! Tessa is off sick so the boys are left to their own devices. Despite the lack of an expert, they manage pretty well as they discuss Tom and Jerry, sci-fi martial arts, Chapman’s road rage, and other cool “no girls allowed” convo topics.

Duration:00:46:40

Live from the Gardens: The Underground

3/19/2018
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We talk bald eagles and mosquitoes on this episode of LIve from the Gardens about the morphs from Animorphs #17: The Underground. How do bald eagles kill geese? How do moles prepare their worms before eating them? What weird things do these animals do when they have more food than they can even eat? All this and more on this episode of Live from the Gardens! Hypothetical Question of the Week: In a room that was 40 sq feet and 10 feet high with no other characteristics, who would win:...

Duration:00:46:04

Animorphs #17: The Underground

3/12/2018
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This week, the good ol’ Fanimorphs talk oatmeal and Yeerk pools as they read through Animorphs #17: The Underground! What’s the deal with Yeerks and breakfast cereal? What’s the deal with Visser Three’s thought-speak? What’s the deal with stigmas surrounding mental health??? Answers to all this and more on this episode of The Dork-Bajir Chronicles!

Duration:00:45:13

Live from the Gardens: The Warning

3/5/2018
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This week on Live from the Gardens, we’re talking houseflies and rhinos, the two main morphs from Animorphs #16: The Warning. What’s the difference between a white rhino and a black rhino? Why are houseflies all different sizes? Why do the Fanimorphs continue to interrupt each other, no matter how many times they make a podcast? Find out the answer to two of these questions by tuning in! Hypothetical Question of the Week: Would you rather be a fly with the skin of a rhino or a rhino with...

Duration:00:41:29

Animorphs #16: The Warning

2/26/2018
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This week the Fanimorphs talk rhinos, rich folks, and mid-nineties internet connections in their discussion of Animorphs #16: The Warning. Do you think Jeff Bezos is richer than Joe Bob Fenestre? Did you know fitey777 has a real website in the real world? Do you think Mikael should have edited out that one part where Tessa blows her nose? Find out this week on The Dork-Bajir Chronicles!

Duration:00:46:05

Live from the Gardens: The Escape

2/19/2018
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This week on Live from the Gardens we talk parrots and hammerhead sharks, the two morphs from Animorphs #15: The Escape! We talk electroreception, parrot marriage, and lots more on this very special episode. What makes it special? Well, there’s been a change to the rules that’ll be sure to keep you on your toes. What change is that, you ask? I’ll never tell! Hypothetical Question of the Week: which animal would you rather be if turning into that animal meant you had to marry the other...

Duration:00:42:24

Animorphs #15: The Escape

2/12/2018
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The Fanimorphs are at it again, this time with another book by our good good comedy boy: Marco! This week, our wonderful hosts discuss Animorphs #15: The Escape, the one where they have to fight off cyborg sharks! Get ready for a full breakdown of what the hell Ax’s tail is made of, Tessa’s newfound vampirism, and, finally, another Visser Three Morph Minute! For those wondering: yes, Tessa is now fully a vampire and can’t walk through the threshold of a home without being invited.

Duration:00:42:33

Live from the Gardens: The Unknown

2/5/2018
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We’re back with more animal trivia and friendly rivalries in this week’s Live from the Gardens as we discuss the osprey and the horse, the two main morphs from Animorphs #14, the book we read last week (the one with the Andalite toilet). If you’re into backwards talons, closing your nostrils on command, and the intricate and ancient details of a horse culture that predates that of humankind, you’re in the right place! We are ready, willing, and neiiiiighble to tickle your funnybone this...

Duration:00:47:42