Father and Son Days

This week we’re talking inventions, which starts off sensibly enough with underrated everyday masterpieces like mugs with handles, shorts, clippers and sat-navs, before drifting into unnecessary gadgets, a surprisingly fiery argument about e-scooters, and a quiz packed with inventions that sound too ridiculous to be real. There’s also a song, some very avoidable scrotum chat, heroic dogs on the run, and the usual amount of confusion for a Thursday night recording. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This one starts with David failing to become a household name via The Wheel and Conor revisiting a childhood belief that he might one day have to change his name to Colin. We somehow end up discussing dog mayors, dog MPs, family decision-making otters, owl photo shoots, running while making butter, and a genuinely horrible image hidden in the CREMBAG. Add in a heartfelt ballad about dog poo on a shoe and a Dex Blinko chapter involving multiple Vareks, and you’ve got exactly the sort of respectable podcasting you’d expect from us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

David renames himself Ray, fails to click his fingers properly, nearly starts a domestic over timing, and then somehow becomes the spokesperson for all rays offended by nicknames like “majestic sea pancake” and “flat flap.” Along the way we squeeze in running waves, seasonal depression, Southend vs Gateshead, mystical postman greetings, barbecue sauce grievances, ray anatomy, Steve Irwin, and a full song called Call Me Ray. We also ask the important question: are rays actually predators, or have we once again stretched this series beyond all reasonable limits? The episode ends with a ray quiz that turns out to be mostly about people called Ray, which feels about right. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Two men. Two road rage incidents. One completely unnecessary argument about supermarket chicken logistics. There’s a very serious debate about why chicken breasts come in packs of three, and What’s in the CREMBAG? arrives in all its baffling glory alongside a blue Avatar-based medical misunderstanding. There’s also a song about the soul-destroying process of choosing dinner, some catalogue-modelling chat, and a fresh chapter of Dex Blinko as Chapter 9, Imposter Syndrome, sends things even further off the rails in space. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With the Winter Olympics wrapped up and the Paralympics underway, we take a trip onto the ice and snow to talk about some of the strangest and most impressive winter sports, from curling and bobsleigh to skeleton and cross-country skiing. Along the way we discuss why Team GB tends to struggle more in winter events, why the Paralympics might actually be even more inspiring, and whether curling really needs such a large measuring stick. Dad brings along Olympic mascots, random facts and a snowboard terminology quiz that somehow makes sense, while also performing an original snow-themed song about childhood snow days. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Conor returns slightly worse for wear after an engagement party while David reports back from a pediatric first aid course where he discovered the awkward realities of CPR practice and being the only man in the room. From there things drift, as they often do, into discussions about strange historical facts, including Henry VIII’s unexpected tennis skills and Mozart’s love of a good rude joke. Along the way we revisit the mystery of the Sock Goblin, debate life’s sliding-doors moments, debut a brand new yoga-inspired song called The Flatulent Warrior, and continue the Dex Blinko saga with Chapter 8 where new secrets emerge and a mysterious creature named Steven finally appears. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Conor is going to Turkey this summer. He doesn’t know where. He’s never done all-inclusive. This feels sensible. We start with BSL lessons, Danish pronunciation confidence, and first aid qualifications before somehow arriving at hazelnut production statistics, Santa Claus being Turkish, and the national sport involving oil. Dad shares practical (and slightly dramatic) tips on how not to get arrested, performs an original holiday anthem, and sets a Turkish language quiz that absolutely won’t cause confusion when the trip finally happens. Cultural enrichment meets mild pre-holiday panic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we spiral from West Ham appearing in popular culture (again) to crying with laughter at Dad’s Jack the Ripper “paint the picture” moment. We consider launching a spin-off podcast reviewing this podcast… then a sub-sub-podcast reviewing that. There’s a surprisingly heated debate about AI art (including bananas, urinals and scrolls we wish we hadn’t mentioned), a heartfelt Colour Guard update, and a deep dive into imaginary friends — including Somebody, Nobody, two badly behaved imaginary dogs, and Keith (who frankly needs sorting out). We round it all off with Chapter 7 of Dex Blinko, featuring a living toupee and growing suspicion about Dad Blinko’s secrets. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We promised a Talking Rubbish. We did not deliver a Talking Rubbish. Instead, we bring you a Pancake Day Special… because priorities. We dive into the history of pancakes (yes, actual facts), international versions from Blini to Swedish Raggmunk, and then descend into a full-blown debate about flat things after a clear misunderstanding of what this episode was supposed to be about. One of us researched Shrove Tuesday. The other explored flatness as a lifestyle. Expect IKEA trauma, stingrays described as “majestic sea pancakes”, phones getting flatter, sheds that still aren’t finished, and the questionable idea of posting pancakes through the Royal Mail. We wrap things up with a pancake-themed quiz. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we celebrate growth by receiving our first negative TikTok comment and immediately over-analysing it. There’s talk of new merch, Dad’s charity song commissions, and why Saturn might float if you had a big enough bath. We cover Saturn’s rings, moons, habitability (or lack of), radiation problems, future missions, and then completely derail everything with pistachios, a song about being ignored, and a ring-themed quiz that escalates from Lord of the Rings to ring pieces. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Conor wires his car like a man who’s watched three videos and gained full confidence. David pitches cars that won’t let you drive if you’re angry, bored, or “being a knob”. We talk Artemis, the backside of the Moon, insults that aren’t insults, and endure a surprisingly catchy song about a bathroom. Dex Blinko returns, Bucket of Mum wakes up, and things somehow get more complicated. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We start with Dad’s ears, anniversary flowers, and the bleak realisation that most men only receive flowers at their funerals, before hearing a genuinely horrific Christmas story involving crushed tablets, squash, and accidental laxatives. Then it’s on to hippos — whether they really count as predators, why they kill so many people, how they ended up roaming Colombia, and the time they lived in what is now London. We finish with a hippo song and a quiz that’s somehow both infuriating and David’s favourite thing we’ve ever done. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Talking Rubbish returns with Dad proudly revealing his 9th-place ranking in the East of England for red pesto purchases, immediately redefining what success looks like. Along the way we cover Storm Goretti, anniversary dinners, dashcams bought out of mild panic, concerns about Dad’s ears getting bigger, and a brand-new chapter of the Dex Blinko story written by Conor — featuring space toilets, strange alliances, and David’s new favourite phrase: Jug of Mum. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We sit down to discuss one of history’s most infamous unsolved murderers and somehow end up arguing about mic stands, paint on furniture, Nick Knowles’ suspicious longevity, and whether serial killers should just start podcasts instead. There’s an accidental art installation, a fully committed musical performance, a quiz that tests patience more than knowledge, and some surprisingly thoughtful moments about why we idolise murderers at all. Jack the Ripper is involved. So is absolutely everything else. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We sit down for our annual look back at the year that was, starting with Christmas, New Year confusion, and the strange limbo between them, before getting surprisingly serious about podcast statistics, listener numbers, and international reach. Using our entirely legitimate CREMBAG™ Framework, we conduct a full end-of-year performance review of ourselves, generously scoring almost everything as “exceeds expectations.” We round things off with a truly baffling 2025 news quiz, proving once again that reflection is optional but confidence is essential. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s Talking Rubbish opens with Dad being caught red-handed breaking his promise not to buy anything online, before spiralling into missing socks, McDonald’s Grinch merch, and the revelation that Lucy’s dog may actually be a full-time sock goblin. From there, we somehow end up discussing Christmas traditions in Japan (KFC), a baffling shop display involving a crucified Father Christmas, how far different animals can see, and Dad’s genuinely concerning claim that he has witnessed multiple squirrels fall out of trees… dead. Naturally, things wrap up with the latest chapter of Dex Blinko. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We kick things off with a calm and sensible Christmas chat about work stress, office parties, tuxedos in toilets, sick buses, and catastrophic hangovers, before completely losing control and performing a full Christmas musical. Podcast Hard is a legally distinct festive action spectacular featuring broken Wi-Fi, office hostages, air ducts, motivational villains, jammy dodgers, questionable singing, and a janitor who may or may not also be Santa. The story barely holds together, the songs are committed to far more than they should be, and Christmas is somehow saved by sheer confusion. Merry Christmas, everyone! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week’s Talking Rubbish, we lean into the festive season in the only way we know how — with irritation, oversharing, and mild concern. We talk Christmas stress, work frustrations, questionable decorations, and a genuinely chilling story about a woman who was almost cremated while still alive. David shares a festive musical complaint about “door thongs”, and Conor reads Chapter 3 of the ongoing Dex Blinko story, A Puddle of Secrets, which somehow manages to raise even more questions. What’s Christmas without door thongs, prostate exams, near-cremations, and a man drinking his own mother through a silly straw? Festive? Debatable. On-brand? Absolutely. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to our Biomes series: today’s theme is beaches, otherwise known as The Episode That Nearly Put Conor to Sleep. David excitedly explains sand composition (twice), announces that beaches take “thousands of years” to form, gives us a lesson on "globsters", and reveals other “fascinating” nuggets, while Conor slowly drifts into a state of mild existential crisis. Along the way we somehow get onto aliens, seals that “flungulate”, childhood seaside trips, lilo disasters, and a quiz about the weirdest things ever washed ashore. Oh—and Dad performs a full musical number called (Let’s All Go to) Sandy Crack. Educational? Debatable. Entertaining? Absolutely. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week’s Talking Rubbish extravaganza, we dive head-first into the world of animal fashion — because apparently monk seals are accessorising with eels, and chimpanzees are shoving grass… well… where grass probably shouldn’t go. Meanwhile, Conor reviews Nightmare Before Christmas (late), Dad writes a heartfelt ballad about his disappearing hairline, we gasp at a £195 Beef Wellington, and Dex Blinko returns featuring laser eyes, bucket-based mothers and unexpected explosions. It’s chaotic, it’s cosy, it’s utterly pointless. In other words: classic Father and Son Days. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.