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Jerk Mountain

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A dad and a dick. A cook and a prick. A husband and a... not-husband. You're invited to join our weekly word-salad which serves to document and share conversations that have happened in private for years amongst two life-long friends. A grand creative endeavor that's similar to hanging out with your best buds who never let you talk.

A dad and a dick. A cook and a prick. A husband and a... not-husband. You're invited to join our weekly word-salad which serves to document and share conversations that have happened in private for years amongst two life-long friends. A grand creative endeavor that's similar to hanging out with your best buds who never let you talk.
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A dad and a dick. A cook and a prick. A husband and a... not-husband. You're invited to join our weekly word-salad which serves to document and share conversations that have happened in private for years amongst two life-long friends. A grand creative endeavor that's similar to hanging out with your best buds who never let you talk.




Wearin' Goggles

Catch us shooting some chat hoops atop Jerk Mountain with our very good friend Aaron Light, who made his way up the slopes to talk all things basketball, living life a quarter at a time, and how to succeed while you're holding out for those green M&M's. Meanwhile, Jordan rocks a sweet Alonzo jersey while Eli panders for a free jersey, and we munch on some Titus while our ol' pal INDIANA MAN comes around again, ego intact... this time wearing denim-on-denim maintenance suit... so we decide if...


Night Swimmin'

High above the clouds just after dawn on Jerk Mountain echoes a bellowing voice of sharpness and anger… safe to assume Indiana Man is at it again yelling at his kids (or one of us), so join us as we cower in fear and talk about DUI Mugshot magazines, a day in the life of a free-range, anti-pharmaceutical human being, where Channel Locks come from, and Eli’s super duper birthday suit. We’ll also get ethereal on what kind of friend we are to each other (and how we better not Yoko the...


Eating Lou Ferrigno

Come on up to Jerk Mountain and grab yourself a slice of this hot double deuce comedy action as we munch on some tasty topics such as takin’ pocket change from your parents, that kid in school that smelled like Pee, Fritos, BO, Maple Syrup, or a combination of two or more of those things (you know who it was)…. We look back at Burt Reynolds’ many mustachioed years on this earth, talk about how Jordan came before Tom Segura, how people weigh themselves down with CAUSES, and Eli hits the...


Pump Up The Chili!

Join us jerks around this wonderful jib-jab of a Labor Day show, and while you're at it, read this bio... which unfortunately has absolutely nothing to do with anything. It is here merely to satisfy the algorithms . Still, it is indeed words, rather than repeated letters, since the latter might not give the proper appearance, namely, that of an actual bio. For that matter, all of this is nonsense, and the only part of this that is to be read is the last paragraph, which part is the...


Mowin' & Blowin'

Sine your pitty on the runny kine up here on Jerk Mountain, where you can cole us down on the panny sty like a Bub, Chief or Boss, drink some dude’s pisswater homebrew, and flee from bees (or aggressive dipshits). Grab your yoga pants and come scout out some HOA infractions with us around the neighborhood, then afterwards we can head to cheeseburger in paradise or the honky-tonk while sporting some hardcore cologne, sweet Chommy Bilfiger gear, and brand-new soaking wet shoes- guitargaritas...


Dinner in an Airport

Come on up to the top of Jerk Mountain and catch Jordan rocking a Larry Bird stache (indiana treasure?) Eli’s birthday in the sky, away from social media, and we'll mark our territory with DOG VS CAT TIME! Hear what it;s like to look like a guy featured on a bag of Donettes, then fret over the friendly skies in a segment we're calling "I'll fly away with no fucking chance…" or "Lemme be your flybuddy". You'll discover some legit dinner tipz and we'll ponder who exactly is behind meme culture...


A Medicated Dump

Sun's-out, buns-out here poolside at the resort on Jerk Mountain, and that can only mean one thing: Public Sweating... everywhere... on everything... while we try to get over this gross factoid, us Jerks are gonna set some ground rules regarding gas station attendant etiquette, decide on the perfect song to sing during saloon karaoke that's REALLY going to get the crowd going, and whip up a hearty discussion that was tied for the title: "Starbucks employees... True Patriots?" or "What's with...


Runny Eggs

We're back again on Jerk Mountain, after a 7 day long pee-break, joined once again around the campfire with our good pal Martin for a hearty conversation about our blunder years, our interactions with famous people, and cars we drove from our past that we miss. We'll look back and touch on some topics from previous episodes, teach you how to whip up the best egg you can, the beneifts of doing what you love versus being a cubicle-bot, and why we think cigarettes and jorts are cool! PM us your...


Meatgazer By Proxy

Join us at the top of Jerk Mountain 'cause we're serving it up Al Dente with our good friend Marty G who stopped by to drop some sausage, bust our balls over things we've said in previous episodes, lay down some knowledge and insights to his life as a chef, some butcher groupies, why you should try kimchi, and cuckolding. We'll try to figure out why they tore down our hometown Pizza Hut just to build another one right beside it, why Papa Juan's become such an absolute fuccboi lately, and...


Hold My Pull Cart!

Meet us at the frosty peak of Jerk Mountain, where we'll go tanning (no leatherface), get a facial (no boner), and afterwards (s)hitting a round and not making the team at the golf course (no bueno). We'll catch up & reflect on the 4th of July holidaze comparing neighborhood cul-de-sac funded fireworks to secondhand "out-of-a-dudes-trunk" fireworks, kickass ice cream sandwiches, and stumbling upon ol' stacks of smut hidden away in our elder's secret stashes (you knew where it was). You can...


Two Men & A Canoe

Come on up to the lofty top of Jerk Mountain & meet the oracle, who can show you some truly astonishing (or gross) visions of the life you've led. Once your thirty seconds are up, we'll discuss what superpowers we'd like to have, why you shouldn't dress yourself with jingly metal garb while recording in the studio, and how much we love the iconic voices of broadcasters. Join us for Screen Time, where we take a discerning look at a wide variety of classic, riveting examples of TV & Film, and...


In Musk We Trust

The air is crisp and clean up here on Jerk Mountain, and we're gonna traverse the slopes of dadcore, van culture, party wisdom, and roommates with snakes. We'll peek in the door of our old apartments, wonder why people posted empty bottles up like trophies, fall asleep in the stairwell, and share stories of living in between a stripper AND a sheriff. Also this week on Screen Time: binge watching seasons vs waiting every week for your favorite shows, and we make a decision wether or not to...


Oozing Machismo

It's raining outside, the birds are singing... we're in the new house clippin' our toenails with a gun & caressing the orb up here on Jerk Mountain. This week we look 'behind the counter' and investigate what your local grocery butcher does on a first date, dive into the Fox Hollow murders, long for having that awesome old t-shirt back (you know the one) and riff on recent Screen Time escapades involving a mouthbreather ruining deadpool 2 and some fashion faux pas in Laguna Beach. After an...



Us Jerks are back on the air after spending quality time with our Moms last week, so join us for a hearty laugh as we take a rest halfway through getting off the couch, rep Old Navy clothing while spending our cold Kohl's cash, rip on ol' GATHY next door, and discover how Eli gets older with every vacation he takes. We'll talk about getting ghosted on Bumble, our pal Al Dente, Smoki Bacon and other people with strange names, then settle in as we tell you bedtime stories that would make 2...


Peak Loggins

Catch us on the cool ranch side of Jerk Mountain where the neighbors will be scaring our kids with fireworks (in May), mistake Kenny Loggins for writing every song we remember, help our family members order a tasty 'za, and we harp on couples that look alike (you know the ones). Trim up your nether-regions as dive into tales from tinder, watch explicit movie scenes with the parents, follow up on Fred Durst's movie carrer, turn frustration into a song about being charged 11 cents for a sauce...


Snacks, Buddy!

Join us jerks for a selfie at the top of Jerk Mountain as we go STONE COLD on life insurance agents, gaze into the dead eyes of a passerby, sneak out of the house (just like old times), and dive into some serious stories of Snackin'. You'll gain valuable Oreo skills and learn how to make the best cereal milk along the way! We'll be talking about the worst things we've done for money, the legitimacy of e-sports players, a really great futon, and 80's-90's TEEN BABES. This episode is...


Vixen & Stag

The sun is shining on the gluten-free face of Jerk Mountain, so join us there while we talk the stark differences in strangers' comments about your kids natural behavior, take a look back with On This Day, interesting results of Googling yourself, visit the grimey side of tinder, explore abandoned buildings, figure out why yodeling is hot right now, and recall our favorite Classic TV themes! Grab your neck pillow and leave room for creamer in your iced tea for all this and much more in...


Queensized Tofu

Join us at the gas station near Jerk Mountain, as we're 8th in line behind INDIANA MAN and it's going to be a while... In the meantime, we'll explain how organic items and dad clothes have gone too far, learn how the pros smuggle stuff where it doesn't belong, and share stories of walking in on people at their most vulnerable times. While we share aliases, Rapper Lil' Yung Nugg pops in to drop a buttery hot track in our lap, then we take a gander at how ridiculous parents look when they try...


Teen Ding

Hop on the ski lift and watch from the safety above as we cause an avalanche of laughter up here on LURK Mountain! We'll face the consequences of our Mothers listening to & commenting on our "podblast" (we love you Mom), then experience what happens when you don't practice moderation in anything from caffeine to waffles, and ponder why Bruce Willis is always rockin' a hangover in his films. Come along as we jump in the time machine to 1998 & discuss why it was so nostalgic, what our social...


How Y'all Durrrin? ;)

Join us by the early morning fireplace inside the Lodge on beautiful Mt. Jerk, and cozy up with a warm cup o' colloquy as we turn a Good Friday into a GREAT Friday, share laughs & lessons regarding life in the service industry, and learn what happens when your kids 'cross the line'. While you're here, let's go on a 'digital detox' together and pick up a good book, or don't- there's tons of online dating apps that'll make you look up & GORSH! Discover the good, the bad, and the acid-refluxy...