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Last Men on Earth

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Location:

United States

Language:

English


Episodes

LMOE #149 - Toxic Masculinity Don't Need No Razors

1/18/2019
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Here's an idea. Put out a tremendously simpleton and cynical sermon on social morality and when people label it simpleton and cynical, declare their defensiveness to be a certain sign that you were right. How long have you been beating your wife, Mr. Man? It's okay to hate the world. Or at least Gillette and their stamped out safety razors. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we dive man-head first into that moronic and incredibly obvious Gillette "The Best Men Can Be" short film,...

Duration:01:52:29

LMOE #148 - R. Kelly Sweet Smell of Relief

1/11/2019
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Today was the day I think we finally said something meaningful. I can't be sure. 147 practice runs and finally, there may be an ounce of wisdom in today's show. It's not as easy being profound as people on Twitter and motivational speaker tapes and Oscars speeches make it out to be. Most people say dumb shit most of the time. And we're above average in the rankings. But today, oh boy oh boy. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we discuss Democratic party donor and party drug watcher...

Duration:01:37:12

LMOE #147 - Rambling Into 2019 with Louis C.K.

1/3/2019
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If this were a Friends episode, it would be called The One Where Lex and Matt ramble on because it's the New Year and also drinking beer. Though we'd have to shorten that for the TV Guide recap. Also, you'd have to have a laugh track to tell you which parts are the jokes. Nevertheless, in our first week back in 2019, we have a ton to say and it needs to be heard. Maybe not needs, but ought, or maybe highly suggested. 2019 is shaping up to be filled with even more cynical dumb shit from dumb...

Duration:01:54:34

LMOE #146 - SMILF GILF and Merry Fucking Christmas

12/20/2018
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Before we get to our predictions for the coming year, Matt and I rounded out 2018 by dealing with some of the more profound issues facing our world. Dicks in thongs, Pete Davidson's cries for help that ought remain unanswered, feminists in Hollywood being equally as horrible a fat gross male predators in Hollywood, and some sinister shit Taylor Swift pulled off to endanger the privacy of every living person on this planet. Also, there's a moment when I cry on behalf of Ukrainian preteens who...

Duration:01:49:28

LMOE #145 - Mouncey Trouncey Women's Handball

12/14/2018
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If you don't pay attention, changes in the world can pass you by without ever even noticing them. Though you're likely to notice the 6'2", 220 pound frame of Men's Handball Champ turned Women's Handball Champ, Hannah Mouncey, as she barrels through female-born opponents like a hot, big-ass cleaver through butter. Awaiting feminist response as to what to do about the brutes turned dames quickly gobbling up women's sports. In addition to the Mouncey Trouncey factor, on this week's Last Men on...

Duration:01:47:17

LMOE #144- Natalie Portman Denounces Jessica Simpson's Boobs

12/7/2018
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The term patriarchy now seems entirely invented by feminists to pretend it's men, not women, who are tearing down women. You know how men love to judge, gossip, and snipe about how women look or act or parent. Those patriarchal men can't help but be catty. While women want nothing more than to support each other in a female driven Utopia. That's the dream. If you can dream it. Or the lie, if you like the truth. On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we explore how Natalie Portman...

Duration:01:38:32

LMOE #143 - Who's Your Tranny?

11/29/2018
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This week's show as usual was dedicated to the outrage of the offended and the offenders as arbitrarily decided in this world by who shouts the loudest. Sometimes, you need to speak truth to power. Other times, you need to kick truth in the nuts to wake it up and remind all the ninnies and nincompoops that they're essentially liars with bullhorns and friendly news networks. On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we delve into the non-science of gender fluidity and how one high school in...

Duration:01:42:30

LMOE #142 - Amazon Tease Fest and GQ Panty Waists

11/15/2018
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The world has turned upside down and all the Chinese people have fallen off. It's our job to fix what is rotten on this planet with semi-literate commentary on the week's events. It doesn't pay well, and there is no paternity leave, but everybody here speaks English and can take a dick joke. So there's that. On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we delve deep into the deep throating done by major cities to attract Jeff Bezos to their metro portals, mock GQ magazine for selecting Serena...

Duration:01:34:17

LMOE #141 - #IAmSexist

11/8/2018
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The entire premise of this little 100,000,000 audience strong Last Men on Earth podcast is that men are under siege in these times of feminist planet hijackings. As if women can fly. Just kidding. No I'm not. Make this stop. When we began the show a few years ago, it was mostly that. Never did we foresee that it would be a massive rise in soy males apologizing on behalf of their gender that would be dealing the fatal blow. Never underestimate the power of random people to disappoint you. On...

Duration:01:37:39

LMOE #140 - Sarah Silverman Comes Up Spunky

10/26/2018
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Moral outrage is directly proportional to the general number of skeletons in one's closet. Normal people good with their soul compass don't feel a need to lecture others on right and wrong. People who used to giggle and clap while Louis C.K. tugged one out on the living room couch tend to cover with lots of #MeToo tweets. It's human nature. You can't fight nature. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we cover Sarah Silverman's unappetizing reveal that she used to be Louis C.K.'s...

Duration:01:24:31

LMOE #139 - Liz Warren Go Whoop Whoop

10/18/2018
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Pro Tip of the Day: no matter how much you love your rub and tug masseuse, continue to use your fake name. This comes to us from a guy who just woke up in Bangkok with a rip-roaring headache and only one kidney. On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, Matt and I delve into Elizabeth Warren's Cherokee genes, support the trans power bottom suing the shit out of the Shitty Men in Media google doc list publisher, wonder how long until SNL drops the hammer on charity case Pete Davidson, work...

Duration:01:46:23

LMOE #138 - White Chicks Are Crazy Angry

10/10/2018
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This is no time for White Males to stand up and be counted. The stanzas of simplistic chants directed at your patriarchal domineering alone are enough to make you want to build a rocket ship and aim toward a new sun. Nevertheless, Matt and I, the two whitest males in the history of alabaster masculinity remain determined to fight the tide. Not for a noble purpose so much as we drank too much and can't find the door. I like beer. On this week's prophetic podcast, we delve deep into the...

Duration:01:27:40

LMOE #137 - Ronaldo Steals Stink, Lindsay Lohan Arabic Kidnappings

10/4/2018
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It's easy to assume the world is going crazy, because it is. Not in that slow, stepped way either. Nope, like overnight, that woman you knew as the helpful town pharmacist for 40 years is on the roof spraying bullets to stop the alien invasion. In that analogy, the world is the chunky lady with the AK-47. I'm not sure what the aliens are. On this week's podcast, we delve into what's ailing this world, like the new California law forcing companies to put a quota of women on Boards, you know,...

Duration:01:33:31

LMOE #136 - Cosby Rape, Kavanaugh Rape Accused, Pete Davidson Rape Face

9/29/2018
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There's simply a ton of raping going on these days. Don't let the stats fool you. Cosby raped a bunch of women's toes and ears. Brett Kavanaugh raped his liver in high school, if not a girl with a very squeaky voice, and Matt raped our toilet here after eating some bad cheap seafood. What ever happened to simply asking nicely for some action and smiling kindly? On this week's podcast we delve into the Cosby case and conviction, Pete Davidson's apology tour around Ariana Grande's privates,...

Duration:01:27:45

LMOE #135 - Brett Kavanaugh Raping the 80's

9/21/2018
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And now you find yourself in '82 The disco hotspots hold no charm for you Yeah, this was bound to happen. The 36-year old career blocking sort of rape sort of remember high school party unwanted grope alleged of SCOTUS nominee, Brett Kavanaugh. The ensuing imbroglio and media firestorm has pitted the stupidest members of both partisan clans in a rhetorical battle of completely unfounded commentary. It's what our world has become. Or always was. Only now all the assholes have microphones,...

Duration:01:37:13

LMOE #134 - Serena Williams Muscle-Bound Brat

9/13/2018
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I always joke about how this episode is going into the Smithsonian. None of these episodes are headed for official government or museum archives. But somewhere I like to think Larry Flynt is burying time capsules full of his era's most obscene content and we'll be Saran-wrapped next to Jugs. Dare to dream. On this week's episode we delve into the Serena Williams bicep bulging U.S. Open meltdown and how nobody in the media is allowed to mock her tantrums, touch on Norm McDonald playing the...

Duration:01:38:47

LMOE #133 - Louis C.K. Untugged

8/30/2018
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The benefit of a modern digital and omnipresent media is the ability to know the sick and disturbing truths about anyone and anything we once held dear. Wait, I meant, that's the downside. The benefit is free porn. Easy to forget the distinction, even if it is the basis of our little weekly get-together on The Last Men on Earth. On this week's podcast we definitely and fairly deride John McCain, wonder whether truth matters at all in the making of a modern rape victim singer-songwriter,...

Duration:01:32:22

LMOE #132 - Asia Argento #SheToo

8/23/2018
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Of course, certain stories just drop right into your lap like exotic dances on the make. When Asia Argento and her sisters armed with venom at the seedy Hollywood system and its even seedier players, you simply knew shoes would drop in all sorts of directions. Partly based on the fact Harvey Weinstein and his team of Mossad trained information assassins are on a scorched earth policy; and partly because everybody in this business is dirty. Finding sexual indiscretions and hypocrisy in the...

Duration:01:28:17

LMOE #131 - Banana Hammocks and Women With Man Hands

8/17/2018
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I never thought this little podcast of ours would become the most profound and thoughtful take on the times we live in. And I was right. Not even close. However, if you listen regularly, and without falling into a fentanyl coma, you will learn a thing or two. Like Mister Rogers with swear words, or just Mister Rogers when the cameras were off. On this week's show, Matt and I get into the Speedo activist at the Encore Beach Club in Vegas, decry racism in the rather varied response to drug...

Duration:01:14:51

LMOE #130 - Roger Ailes Is Dead and Fat and In a Movie

8/2/2018
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There are days I don't want to get out of bed. But not podcast show days. Those are the times I raise myself by sheer force of will and find the strength to share the truth with the world. Also, cocaine mixed with Maxwell House. More the latter really. Everybody must do their part. Check out this week's Patreon Exclusive Bonus Content for rather sensitive information about Melania Trump's hooking. On this week's episode of Last Men on Earth, Matt and I question the logic of letting...

Duration:01:28:56