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LMOE #163 - Gay Balls, Straight Oppression, and The Miracle of Childbirth

You know how in every successive rap album Eminem spends half the record time apologizing for his last album being shitty and promises this one now is finally good -- that's our latest Last Men Podcast, except for the apologizing for the last one bullshit. That's pretty pussy for 8-Mile. JOIN THE FIGHT NOW. OR THE NON-FIGHT. FUCK, CLICK HERE FOR FREE ICE-CREAM AND PORN. In our latest podcast glory, Matt and I discuss Jeffrey Epstein's female lieutenants role in his serial teen girl boning...


LMOE #162 - Game of Moans

Matt and I get a lot of heat for our irregular podcast recording schedule of late. But if you knew the difficulty arranging venues and times between Matt's ankle bracelet and school and park distance restrictions and my own rule about podcasting naked, you'd realize logistics can be tough. Only half of that is true. Give peace a chance. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we delve into young hot chicks with faux modeling careers pretending their not in the sex business, dudes from CNN...


LMOE #161 - Yang Gangs, Bang Gangs, and Chelsea Hooligans

Coming off my audio failures this week, I put extra effort into being profound, on-topic, and thoughtful -- or, none of the things that come naturally to me. Meh, too much work. It's like the frog and the scorpion porn clip where the girl dressed up as the frog tries to figure out why the dude scorpion put his thing in her. Some things in life are better left as mysteries. On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we mock Kim Jong un and Donald Trump in equal measure, decide whether gay...


LMOE #160 -- The Unbroken

One thing I've learned in life is to admit when you made a mistake, learn from that mistake, then beat your children to mask your feelings of shame. Everybody has their own plan. I did manage to delete the front half of the show and somehow have an audio software that rolls circa 1988 without auto-save or auto-recovery or "hey, you fucked up, now restore your file" as an option. Damn you, shareware! Nevertheless, Matt and I recorded some incredibly meaningful conversations regarding female...


LMOE #159 - Amy Schumer Pump and Dump

It's harder for Matt and I to get together these days, what with my running a shelter for runaway teen girls who are height-weight proportionate and hate their fathers, and Matt's multiple ankle-bracelets and restrictive curfews. So when we do meet up, we try to make it count with insightful comments, wise analysis, and profound thoughts. I mean, we would do that if we could, but we can't, so we slather on the bullshit and add a few exclamation points to make it seem official. On this...


LMOE #158 - Powerlifting T's and Burkini Arousal

Nothing says kiss-ass like a men's media outlet putting together a woman's edition. There's the obligatory celebration of Serena Williams and a chick in Pakistan who was murdered for trying to attend a typing class The two hero stories being largely interchangeable. Matt and I decided to take a different tact for our annual women's edition by focusing on some really appalling stories of feminist overload overkill. Not everybody can be as woke as GQ or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit. On this...


LMOE #157 - The One With the Gay POTUS

America may now be evolved enough that we can have a completely immature discussion about what it might be like to have a sexually active gay President in the White House. Or would this ever happen? Is America ready for a male President who is crushing hard on Zac Efron? In addition to discussing what may pass if Cory Booker becomes President, on this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we dig deep into the hair follicle scents and sensibilities of Joe Biden, Matt openly hate on Kobe Bryant...


LMOE #156 - Cardi B Robbing and Whoring

The better part of having a show like the Last Men on Earth podcast is knowing exactly how to respond to any app tool asking if your content contains explicit language. YES. Though you might think it odd that the presence of adult language remains of utmost concern to publishers in 2019, what with fake news, data theft, the willful distribution of crass commercialism and idiocy parading as clickable content, and war in 37 nations as we speak. But, yes, fuck, and shit and piss still seems to...


LMOE #155 - Hollywood's Hot Women Rise Against

I don't know how your town or industry works, but here in Hollywood, a hot girl with an amazing body can't catch a break. Blonde beauties like Brie Larson and steamy hot busty Latinas like Salma Hayek struggle share a bond of oppression previously only know by Southern sharecroppers and the embattled Hmong people of the central California valley regions. Thoughts and prayers, ladies. Be strong. On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast we dig into the systemic bias against bodacious hotties...


LMOE #154 - Transgender Sports Domination

When I used to play sports, people told me I ran like a girl. Little did I know that in the future boys like me would have a chance to dominate the Connecticut High School Girls Track finals. I identify as first place! On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we delve into the transgendered female athletes increasingly dominating girls sports and the reason why that shit is about to pop, discuss Hollywood's Green Book failed night at the Oscars, highlight the hypocrisy of the #TimesUp...


LMOE #153 - Deadnaming, Naked Professors, and Bezos Peen

Do you ever look around this world and think to yourself, man, I'm glad Ol' Dirty Bastard died before he had to see all of this shit? No. Me neither. Though it's hard not to reminisce about a time when political correctness was roundly mocked and scolded, rather than the practical law of the land. The return of all types of tribunals has not served this planet well. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we accept the fact that Terry Crews played his ball cupping into a brilliant career...


LMOE #152 - Andy King Going Down, Emily Ratajkowski Rising Up

I like to think of Matt and I as great detectives searching for real evidence in a worldwide case of fake news, bullshit, obfuscation, and misdirection. But, honestly, neither of us would pass a background check to be a detective in any known law enforcement office. Damn you pee tests and criminal background searches. Unlicensed muckrakers we remain. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we dive deeper into the Jussie Smollett alleged and quickly falling apart hate crime tale, wonder if...


LMOE #151 - Jussie Smollett Unraveled

We have two cross purpose phenomena in the Jussie Smollett case. First the desire to be early and loudest about an obviously just outrage over a potentially vile and brutal attack on a minority. And second, when holes in that case develop, even if you're the media or legit journalists, mitigate any chances you're seen as second guessing the attack story. Matt and I are under no such pressure to either, as honest men about town with zero desire to be liked. It really is quite liberating. On...


LMOE #150 - Terry Crews Skins the Flute

You'd think after 150 episodes we'd rise above our sophomoric and juvenile antics and produce something of adult level quality and discourse. You'd think. Score one for consistency. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we wonder aloud why not a single sports commentator is commenting on the ballooning body of Serena Williams, listen politely to Terry Crews play the flute, because of course he does, opine what a wonderful world this would be if all social media sniping and snarking was...


LMOE #149 - Toxic Masculinity Don't Need No Razors

Here's an idea. Put out a tremendously simpleton and cynical sermon on social morality and when people label it simpleton and cynical, declare their defensiveness to be a certain sign that you were right. How long have you been beating your wife, Mr. Man? It's okay to hate the world. Or at least Gillette and their stamped out safety razors. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we dive man-head first into that moronic and incredibly obvious Gillette "The Best Men Can Be" short film,...


LMOE #148 - R. Kelly Sweet Smell of Relief

Today was the day I think we finally said something meaningful. I can't be sure. 147 practice runs and finally, there may be an ounce of wisdom in today's show. It's not as easy being profound as people on Twitter and motivational speaker tapes and Oscars speeches make it out to be. Most people say dumb shit most of the time. And we're above average in the rankings. But today, oh boy oh boy. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we discuss Democratic party donor and party drug watcher...


LMOE #147 - Rambling Into 2019 with Louis C.K.

If this were a Friends episode, it would be called The One Where Lex and Matt ramble on because it's the New Year and also drinking beer. Though we'd have to shorten that for the TV Guide recap. Also, you'd have to have a laugh track to tell you which parts are the jokes. Nevertheless, in our first week back in 2019, we have a ton to say and it needs to be heard. Maybe not needs, but ought, or maybe highly suggested. 2019 is shaping up to be filled with even more cynical dumb shit from dumb...


LMOE #146 - SMILF GILF and Merry Fucking Christmas

Before we get to our predictions for the coming year, Matt and I rounded out 2018 by dealing with some of the more profound issues facing our world. Dicks in thongs, Pete Davidson's cries for help that ought remain unanswered, feminists in Hollywood being equally as horrible a fat gross male predators in Hollywood, and some sinister shit Taylor Swift pulled off to endanger the privacy of every living person on this planet. Also, there's a moment when I cry on behalf of Ukrainian preteens who...


LMOE #145 - Mouncey Trouncey Women's Handball

If you don't pay attention, changes in the world can pass you by without ever even noticing them. Though you're likely to notice the 6'2", 220 pound frame of Men's Handball Champ turned Women's Handball Champ, Hannah Mouncey, as she barrels through female-born opponents like a hot, big-ass cleaver through butter. Awaiting feminist response as to what to do about the brutes turned dames quickly gobbling up women's sports. In addition to the Mouncey Trouncey factor, on this week's Last Men on...


LMOE #144- Natalie Portman Denounces Jessica Simpson's Boobs

The term patriarchy now seems entirely invented by feminists to pretend it's men, not women, who are tearing down women. You know how men love to judge, gossip, and snipe about how women look or act or parent. Those patriarchal men can't help but be catty. While women want nothing more than to support each other in a female driven Utopia. That's the dream. If you can dream it. Or the lie, if you like the truth. On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we explore how Natalie Portman...