Stupid Fat Hobbits

Remember to leave a 5-star written review on Apple Podcasts for a chance at a free t-shirt (for once this is real, not a bit). We will read all new reviews on the show next season. ---- The revelry continues with five more callers. Break out the ale and enjoy the denouement! Thanks to all who listened to the show. We could not have done it without the peasants. Guests on Part Two: 1. Megan of Lorien, guardian of Tolkien's vision 2. Andrew of Pittsburgh, musician, pre-esquire and Smeagol impersonator 3. Tom of Two Worlds, high inquisitor and enthusiast of both Star Wars and LOTR 4. Nancy & Mark of Virginia, sniping sibling duo and and extraordinary storytellers of tales gone by. Topics Include: - Cinematic Interpretations of LOTR vs Tolkien's Vision - Band feuds - How the show got started - An Impromptu LOTR Impersonation Contest - Aragorn vs Luke Skywalker - Carrying LOTR weapons around in daily life - Why you shouldn't help your family - Ignoring your friends and stealing graduation gifts - Hello...hello...is Johnny? - The meaning of life in one word

Remember to leave a 5-star written review on Apple Podcasts for a chance at a free t-shirt (for once this is real, not a bit). We will read all new reviews on the show next season. ---- We've made it to the end of another successful season! Thank you all for your ideas, jokes, insults, memes, commentary, feedback, and encouragement. It's been quite astonishing seeing so many peasants contribute to this community. As is tradition, the lads take listener calls during the finale. Guests for Part One: 1. The Infamous "Thelan Den" of the Green Mountain State, a tragic victim of a clerical error 2. Ashli of New Orleans, who found SFH after looking for serious Tolkien literary analysis...and kept listening anyway. 3. Chris of The Old Dominion, who claims a dubious connection with a so-called International Intellectual Institute. Topics include: - Clearing up reputations - Domestic intellectuality - Stumbling upon hobbits - Favorite segments of the show - Roasting Johnny - Hard-hitting questions like, Hello...Hello...is Johnny? - The meaning of life in one word Want to support the show? Follow us on Instagram to vote on weekly polls, get show updates, and judge Johnny's questionable memes. SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch

Sean Tchackichickh, sender of multiple emails to the lads, joins the show today. Big question of the day: How are you supposed to refer to Gatorade flavors? The lads share a sweet melody. A listener shares additional thoughts on the old people conundrum. Sean sees his moment. Chris calls out government overreach in his bedroom. The guest, under fire for a LOTR typo, makes excuses. The guest, under fire for his last name, gives a history lesson. The guest under fire for not being offended, refuses to get offended. Around the Table calls back to some serious LOTR Bombadillo analysis. The guest Pop Take may stupefy some big HP fans. DYHWITTBAI tests the guest on Zeus' seduction methods. Johnny refuses to let the show end without turning the spotlight on himself.

Special episode featuring Conor Brown, Disney World expert, travel agent, and host of the WDW Opinion Podcast. The polls are in and the anti-elderly league came out in full force. Conor's Pop Take strikes a resounding blow at a regal cultural icon. Conor is now in Witness Protection. In Around the Table, at what point do we have to press the off switch on robots? Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual brings a rapid-fire onslaught and furious counter-attack never before seen on the show. The lads conclude the show with an astonishingly thoughtful and informative Disney World Q&A.

The lads pay homage to the red, white, and berries popsicles. Johnny, quite naturally, trashes the episode that did not include him. Over 80% of you supported Finn's "eat anything at any time" pop take from last week. The lads read a voluminous listener email. Chris hijacks Breaking News From Florida and gives a first-hand account of a curious incident at a convenience store. Pat doesn't like mushrooms. Johnny's Pop Take strikes hard and fast at the elderly community. Pat gives a lackluster showing in the first listener-requested quote for the LOTR Impersonation contest. Johnny's Corner explores alien diplomacy. Want to support the show? Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Guest episode featuring Finn "same family as Chris from Ireland" Mehigan. Chris immediately says a wrong word. The lads explore the sugar argument from last episode in more detail. The conversation steers to the French. Chris refuses to accept the results of the Beloved poll. Finn gives an ancient language test. Finn's Pop Take brings sushi to the breakfast table. The Intellectual sends the guest to the gulag for his performance in Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual.

Guest episode with Michael "Hiney" Heinssen. Should Johnny be "The Beloved" instead of Chris? The lads engage in some baby talk and poetry reading. In Breaking News From Florida, the absence of letters drives a man to fury. Credit card offers validate Pat's existence. Guest, Mr. Hiney, is the first to bring sources to back up his dopamine-filled Pop Take. The lads bring back the age old classic of hating the French for no reason. Pat accidentally reveals a deep hatred of coma patients. Mr. Hiney lashes out at his courteous hosts for critiquing his heartfelt and generous Apple Podcasts review. The lads delve into the uncomfortable feeling of listening to your own voice. After a brief foray into the world of cryptocurrency, The Intellectual tests Mr. Hiney's knowledge on The Crusades. Want to support the show? Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Johnny has a clubfoot. The lads wonder what happened to the pandemic baking craze and debate the merits of a good loaf. Almost 1/3 of you guys apparently have heard of Stewart Cink. Johnny starts a listener war over Chic-fil-A sauce. Listener, TheIanDen, redeems himself with an incisive review of Johnny's personality. Breaking News From Florida investigates the arrest of a skilled street gymnast. Pat gets offended and lashes out at babies. The adventures of Johnny and Major Funkdu continue as the lads analyze another quote In the Trenches With Tolkien: "All's well that ends better." Another joke goes over Pat's head. Want to support the show? Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Johnny undergoes therapy. Pat can't say caramel. Johnny is responsible and drinks ginger ale. The lads have started gambling; they also know a thing or two about The Bible. Breaking News From Florida sees...surprise, surprise...yet another altercation at a fast food joint. Chris comes to the table with theories of the Beyond. Johnny has a thought about the multiverse that would be idiotic in every single universe. The lads go Into the Trenches With Tolkien to explore the evil of tears and roast Pat for the way he speaks. Want to support the show? Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Reminder to submit a written review to Apple Podcasts and share the show with your friends! The lads rehash Sully's Pop Takes from the previous week. Johnny has a bubble in his throat. Do you know who Stewart Cink is? Breaking News From Florida sees an esteemed artist scissor kick a polite tourist. Johnny's Pop Take strikes out at the Chic-fil-a old guard. Chris, of course, goes on a rant. Around the Table explores the oddity of Zoom meetings even though you can see the people you are meeting with through your window. Naturally, windows become a hot topic. Chris has a romantic encounter with a window washer. Pat has a panicked encounter with a painter. Johnny has concerns about teeth temperature. The LOTR Impersonation contest does not stop until nightfall. Chris finds himself in Zodiac memery. Want to support the show? Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Guest episode featuring comedian, Peter Sullivan. Peter Sullivan is a stand-up comedian and comedy writer who has performed at several prestigious venues throughout the US. and has written for several famous comedians. Check out Sully's socials: Instagram: @psullivan27 TikTok: @psullivan27 Twitter: @_ImSully Youtube: Peter Sullivan -- Sully delves into the employment plight of the modern comedian. Bullies become the bullied in Art School. The lads re-investigate Bully School: the Harvard of comedy schools designed to make people funny through targeted harassment. Sully examines the anthropological roots of comedy. Chris gets only one other person to agree with him on his previous Pop Take. The listeners overturn Chris' LOTR Impersonation ruling for the first time ever. Backyard zoos and lascivious leopards are the name of the game in Breaking News From Florida. Sully recounts a tale of another Florida mauling, this one much more disturbing. In his Pop Take, Sully brings a unique perspective on toxic masculinity. Oh, and influencers don't deserve rights. The lads lament how dumb people are always the loudest on social media. Johnny has a thought; Johnny is cancelled. Sully's knowledge of philosophy is tested in Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual? The lads conclude with a pair of hypotheticals involving death by carnivore. -- Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Chris screams Pat's name in a loud little-boy voice. Does organic alcohol make you feel better in the morning? Pat reminisces about The Mighty Ducks and muses about the pain of nostalgia. Johnny could not care less about his childhood, except for one simple thing that he could easily recapture. Johnny's army of Virginians attack Maryland in a questionable Pop Take poll that garnered over 80% of vote. Breaking News From Florida walks us through the story of a man, his magnet, and a potentially explosive visit to Taco Bell. A true comeback story for Taco Bell. Johnny drops a bomb about a nuclear bomb. Chris is deluded by one decent item at Buffalo Wild Wings. Johnny's Corner introduces some phonetic exercises. Pat keeps Chris on his toes with an unexpected LOTR Impersonation quote. The lads conclude with some Space Jam talk. Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

In an attempt to debate the merits and identity of Michelob Ultra, the lads viciously attack cyclists instead. Pat's Pop Take, "Spirit Airlines is a good airline," is hijacked by the listeners. Pat chews old, sweaty sticks of gum. Chris' LOTR Impersonation rulings have now aligned with the listener vote 5/5 times. Breaking News From Florida brings forth the classic and beloved tale of "The Urinal Breaker and His Naked Woodland Journey." Chris goes off on another personal and vindictive rant - this time on the people of Pittsburgh. Johnny's Pop Take harshly criticizes people from Maryland, something both Pat and Chris can get behind. This podcast was sponsored by Coffee, "suck it down." Johnny pulls Pat and Chris into his corner, and then leaves them to bicker about the weather. In the Trenches with Tolkien. sees Johnny finally reaching Major Funkdu, but they are pinned down The lads determine what the most awkward Wednesday probably looked like in The Hobbit. Chris says unintelligible things again. Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

The lads have one question for you: Are you a potato? Pat aches for a lost love. Willie Brown's second pop take on fat Ryan Reynolds becomes the second take to pop. The lads still can't figure out if they should celebrate if a take gets popped. Betsy Barthelona's take on mullets being hot is not confirmed by the listeners. Moby Dick analogies go awry. Breaking News From Florida reveals the imminent threat of a zealot leading a turtle army to both save and destroy the world. Chris is a Shell shopper. Chris also says many things that don't make sense. Johnny's mind continues to swim around in the gutter. Pat's Pop Take is one with the Spirit. Chris gets animated. A spirited debate ensues. Around the Table highlights a couple conspiracies from listener Sean T regarding Idaho and Red Velvet cake. Chris seeks to keep his crown from Johnny's chubby, grubby, little arms in the LOTR Impersonation Contest. The quotes are starting to get emotional up in here. Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Guest episode featuring the esteemed Betsy "Barthelona." The show begins with verbal assaults directed toward Pat. Very original. Johnny sits like a toddler. Chris is weak. Betsy brings forth a challenge of the, uhh, challenging variety. Everyone learns science. His Lordship JP Royals mobilized the voters for his Pop Take, "Pizza from New York is shit," and 51% of you agreed. Despite some voting discrepancies, this is the first official one to pop. Chris is now 4/4 on LOTR Impersonation calls. The lads review a marvelous listener review. Breaking News From Florida covers a fascinating voluntary drug test. Betsy loves mullets. This podcast is sponsored by Bar OF Soap. Johnny steps into his corner to enlighten Chris about raisins. The tale of Johnny and Major Funkdu continues with In the Trenches With Tolkien. Betsy gives her deep analysis of the line, "man-flesh," after much repetition. Chris & Pat don't follow and question whether Tolkien had cannibalistic tendencies instead. Johnny doesn't follow and brings up male strippers. Betsy is sorrowful about her age and closes out the show with peasant discussion. Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future.

Let the trumpets blare and the bugles bugle. Let the minstrels go forth and sing the good news: His Lordship hath returned. Wedding stories are hinted at but not told. Previous Pop Takes are analyzed. Chris has issues with vanity. Johnny and Pat are axeholes. Johnny brings a royal family rant of the day to the table. Chris is the media. The lads bar pancakes from every being brought up again. Another guest Pop Take regarding food starts a vicious argument about principles of delectability and culinary convictions. Chris and Johnny get extremely defensive and resort to ad hominem attacks. His Lordship engages in some tree talk with Chris in the LOTR Impersonation Contest. JP entertains Johnny's Corner. Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual tests His Lordship on Irish literature and folklore. Make sure to follow the lads on Instagram to cast your vote on the Pop Take of the week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest: https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/ Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stupid-fat-hobbits/id1484916483 Questions, comments, concerns, ideas? Reach out to us at sfhpodcasts@gmail.com

This one is big on sea mammalians. Starfish selling clam pearls, the last march of the sea turtles, the birthing rates of sea horses, unicorns with unihorns, formal giraffes, and monogamous wolves. Chris continues the time-honored tradition of cracking jokes that don't make sense. Breaking News From Florida continues the animal theme with a massive blow to the prestigious and elderly iguana community. Johnny exploits a tragic death just to make a pun. Chris brings forth his Pop Take about the show, Community, and continues to make references to the show, ironically challenging any sense of community this episode tried to instill. Perhaps sensing this, Chris lashes out with some long-held resentments and takes over Johnny's Corner. In the Trenches w/Tolken establishes that one of his most famous lines actually refers to a battalion of troops wandering a foreign land with the intent to murder. They may or may not be lost in the sauce. Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future. Questions, comments, concerns, ideas? Reach out to us at sfhpodcasts@gmail.com

Longer guest episode ft. Downtown Willie Brown. Nut milk and tree milk. Maple. Sean Astin. Stranger Things. Willie sits on the floor and doesn't like it. Napoleon Dynamite. Willie lays down a threat. Pat ruins everything. Previous Instagram polls are discussed. After an official recount, Chris officially ekes by in the previous LOTR Impersonation Contest with two mail-in ballots coming after the deadline. Willie puts his hair in a bun. Willie and Pat continue to trade punches. Willie brings an around the table that is quite literally, a lie. Chris, in a very inhospitable manner, submits his own question. Willie turns the tables. Willie's second ATT attempt inspires Spiderman comparisons. Chris has a delusional teenage-romance-novel fantasy about Emma Watson that is loosely based on a real life spotting of Emma Watson at Heathrow. Johnny's Corner features bedroom humor. Willie invents the "bed-floor." Willie's Pop Takes: Pancakes are a shit breakfast food. And Ryan Reynolds is the only funny person who wouldn't get any funnier if he got fat. To conclude, Willie is tested on his knowledge of the rules of the road - a curious and questionable verdict occurs. Willie would let Pat get run over by train. Want to hear the original french toast debate? It's way back in S1E4. Follow us on Instagram to vote on the Pop Take of the Week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Want to support the show? SFH Merch Store: https://teespring.com/stores/sfh-merch Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and we will read it on the show! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel! We are currently rolling out new episodes and plan to upload Seasons 1 and Seasons 2 as well as bonus video content in the near future. Questions, comments, concerns, ideas? Reach out to us at sfhpodcasts@gmail.com

Chris speaks to himself in the night. Johnny has another depressing story concerning food. Pat makes a decent pun. Chris does a post-presidential Trump impression. Johnny gets crowned. Pat becomes half-king. Johnny's expert journalism highlights flapjacks and threats to Obama's life. Chris doesn't know things. Johnny thinks a movie starring a frog is a top-tier movie. Things get chippy. The show ends on a sorrowful note as Pat faces off with Chris in the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Make sure to follow the lads on Instagram to cast your vote on the Pop Take of the week and the true winner of the LOTR Impersonation Contest.

Best recipe for a good episode: Start out with a little testy, reach into the DM's, and end with a listener sea shanty. Chris pronounces Borat like a buffoon. A listener-submitted Breaking News From Florida delves into the world of police dispatchers, rogue 911 calls, and remarkably accurate tattoos. Pat comes out swinging with a British bowlcut Pop Take; Chris refuses to let it be. He becomes so furious he starts shaking. A long winding road of vigorous debate ensues. In the Trenches with Tolkien starts with a dangerous night mission to capture (or save?) Major Funkdu. The lads then set forth to explore love, memories, and JK Rowling's theft. Johnny gets scared in his corner. Pat can't say multiplicative. Johnny throws down his gauntlet to challenge "His Worthiness," as Chris has dubbed himself, in the LOTR Impersonation Contest. Finally, a real challenge. Liked the song in the outro? Check out Andrew Kolesar's channel here. Questions, comments, ideas? SFH Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/ SFH Email: sfh_podcasts@gmail.com