We are taking a quick break from Drunk Book of Mormon Stories. Today I am trying to understand why Mormon's hate coffee so much. This is taken from an April 2007 General Conference talk, Relief Society President Julie Beck. The original video can be found here:
Got to give credit to Thinker of Thoughts for this.
This episode is brought to you by mormonssecret.com. Have a Temple garment fetish? Want to see your hot girl friend, wife,...
Tonight we finish will 1 Nephi. Holy shit this is truely an accomplishment. I really didn't think we would get this far. But we did. Nephi builds a fucking boat and they finally get to America. Way to go Nephi! Nephi FTW!
This episode brought to you by the new Utah BAC law of .05%. Please don't drink mouth wash and drive.
Holy shit. These are getting hard to do for so many reasons that I would rather not get into. But here we go. Episode 16. Nephi is having his fucking acid trip with Angel Fire balls while in a desert. If this isn't a Burning Man story, I don't know what is. A church of whores, visions in the desert, and eating meat.
By the way. Want to hear some awesome modern folk? Look up Dan Bern,
Thanks to Carrie in Rhode Island for the introduction.
After a nice holiday break, we are back with Drunk Book of Mormon Stories. Today's drink is vodka and lemonade, also known as a lemon drop. Nephi wants to know the interpretation of Lehi's dream, gets drug up to the top of a mountain by some spirt and makes prophecies about Jesus 600 years before his birth and brought to light 1800 years after his death. Its a miricle!!!
Holy shit and god bless The Dude. This podcast was about the White Tree of Life who Lehi found because of a white dude in a white robe. Racist? You be the judge , jury, and executioner. This episode of Drunk Mormon Missionary podcast brought to you by the number 3 and it came to pass. Enjoy!
I recorded my podcast in downtown Salt Lake City in the belly of the beast near Temple Square. I continue with 1 Nephi and how Nephi returns to his family in the RV near the Red Square after he murders some dude for brass plates. This episode was recorded live from a tub. Enjoy!
OK. Going to try this again. This is the first instalment of Drunk Book of Mormon Stories. In this episode a Lehi takes his family to the Red Sea for some Book of Mormon RV camping then sends his sons back to Jeruselem to get some brass plates from some dude. Nephi ends up cutting off the guys head which is kind of messed up given the fact that he could have tied up the drunk dude as well. Enjoy.
So after episode 11. Erik went soundly to sleep. I was still up and drunk with no investigator to teach. So I turned to facebook and did some interviews. Its an experiment. Lets see how it goes. Enjoy!
Continuing on my drinking binge tonight we go into the LAW OF CHASTITY! I ended up being kind of pissed off about this topic and came up with my own law of chastity. Here they are. Learn them and Live by them!: Safety, Honesty, and Consent. Thus says Bob! Enjoy!
Investigator Erik was way too enthused to hearing more about the Mormons. I was drinking already, so I thought "What the Hell, lets do a podcast." Tonight we start Lesson 4 of the Missionary Lessons: The Commandments. Now I know why I had a hard time staying awake when I was a Mormon. God's these lessons are boring. Hang in there. We are almost done with the Missionary Lessons and can get back into some drunk story telling! Enjoy!
Hey there Brothers and Sisters. Its Sunday. I'm Drunk. Its a great day for recording a podcast. Today's issue, I mean lesson, is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Erik and I explore the idea of faith and atonement. Trust me, its as boring here as it was in Gospel Doctrine Class. Ok maybe not as boring and I can definitely speak my mind about how illogical all this is. Enjoy!
Episode 5! And I am piss drunk. 15 shots tonight and 5 episodes. thats 3 shots an episode. I hope you value my sacrifice and the hang over I had the next day to bring you the drunken gospel. Anyway, investigator Erik and I finish up Drunk Missionary lesson number 2 by presenting the Drunk version of the Mormon after life. I think we even talk about temples and baptism for the dead on this one. This is the last episode until the next time I want to drink. Enjoy!
Holy shit was I drunk! Yep. I kept drinking and kept trying to convert investigator Erik to Mormonism! In this episode we start on Drunk Mormon Missionary Lesson number 2 - The Plan of Salvation - or Spirit Babies Need Bodies. War in heaven, Lucifer, Jesus, and a bunch of spirits really wanting to try masturbation! Enjoy!
So the night continued. And I continued drinking! This episode concludes the first drunk missionary lesson and 3 more shots towards my 15 shot night of rum and vodka. This episode is about the need for Joe Smith and how Christianity got fucked up! In Mormon Speak: The Great Apostasy!
The last episode was so fun and I was pretty drunk still, so we continued with the Joseph Smith story to complete drunken missionary lesson number 1. In this episode we talk about the Angel Moroni and his late night visits to Joseph Smith, the gold plates hidden conveniently near Joseph Smith's house and we touch about what exactly is in them gold plates. Honestly I was about 6 shots into it at this point so I don't quite remember all of what was said. Maybe I should listen to it too. Enjoy!
Welcome to the Drunk Mormon Missionary Podcast with Elder Wrong. This is the first episode of this podcast. Every week, Elder Wrong gets very drunk and attempts to explain Mormon Theology. This week starts with the First of five missionary lessons. Today Elder Wrong speaks with investigator Erik about prophets and Joseph Smith's first vision. Enjoy!