The Important Questions

Happy Monday to the pathetic office drones who need a podcast to help ease the pain (this is me). Episode 102 is here, proving once and for all that we're not just big losers coming back to drop one episode years later. And we have four topics that are solidly decent for you. 1) What would you do if you woke up to Hitler giving you a BJ? 2) Do you wash your legs in the shower? 3) What would be the onomatopoeias experienced in everyday life if life were like a comic book? 4) What is the line...

1.5 years of no uploads isn't enough to make us lose our entire fanbase, right? RIGHT? Well we had some life changes so cut us some slack. We're still just as incredibly stupid as ever. Smitty draws today's art in real time to give Rico something to spank to later. Here's the topics this week. 1) Why are you the bad guy if you get upset publicly over somebody else's smell? 2) How can Rico use his newly birthed child in exploitative ways? 3) Would you befriend or date a floating and sentient...

The 2nd demo of our attempt at a reboot series. And again, can't go without those sweet tropes of ours. Topics: 1) How do you spend your time in the 2 week notice period of quitting a job? 2) What are the worst minor injuries? 3) What are the best sci-fi tropes? 4) Would you wear the Lord of the Rings ring if it made you invisible but Smiegel appeared by you every time you wore it? Follow us or something.

Back before Dave and Scott decided to pack their bags and go cross country, abandoning Smitty and Rico, they were in the works to create a new show called The Circle Jerkwads. The show was to be Important Questions adjacent but without some of the same tropes. I think the lesson is that those tropes worked for a reason, and we were wrong to abandon them. Are you satisfied is the greatest way to end every topic. Full stop. Topics: 1) What TV shows have you seen too much of despite it being...

Hello special bozos. Here's some good shit just for you for the first time. So be gentle ;)

Lightning Round style episode with 8 questions for just those who think we're worth something. 1) What is the weirdest reason to give someone a discount on a product? 2) How can we make more effective communication with sweatpant ass words? 3) How much influence could you have dressed as Ronald McDonald in a McDonalds? 4) What is the most overused movie trope? 5) What causes people to choose between ass and tits? 6) How can be make the DMV more tolerable? 7) What would be the best next step...

In this month's bonus episode, the guys look back at their first episode and tear it to shreds.

In honor of your money, Smitty lays down some erotic words over smooth jazz instrumentals.

I love you.

For your listening pleasure - here's our best words thrown into our worst stories.

This week, we choose the adventure for you, the listener. In this choose our own adventure special.....

This is some real boner shit right here. The dudes attempt a remote podcast.

Who's gonna win this round of REAL OR FAKE NEWS?

WISH GAME SHOW HELL YEAH

Lightning round of fun. Lightning round of joy. Special uber eats driver guest stars. Wow this is good stuff.

A tripping balls story decided by the acolytes.

This is the SERIES FINALE and it's extra long, just for you. Thank you to everyone who ever downloaded an episode. Hope you enjoyed our nonsense. This week's topics... -Piss Poll Results -Scott Orders Silk Boxers -Acknowledging nice butts -What was our favorite questions on the show? -Do farts push the poop out, or does poop push the farts out? -What would it be like if humans had a mating season? -How was porn invented? -Which animal would be the worst to bang? -The Lightning Dump See you...

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE. IF YOU ARE A FAN OF THIS SHOW IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM STICK AROUND FOR THAT BUT ALSO THE FOLLOWING 4 QUESTIONS... 1) What are the stupidest hills you will die on? 2) Is social media a net positive or negative? 3) What is the least amount of money you'd accept to have 86,000 people respectfully fuck your ass? 4) What would we do with an Acolytes Onlyfans?

We are just 2 episodes away from 100 - and in reflection, these questions have never been so important as they are now. 1) What can Scott do to stay in practice for sex despite not having any? 2) How do you prepare your meals? 3) What have we owned for a very long time for no real reason? 4) Can the Acolytes differentiate real vs. fake news articles (PART 3 OR 4 I FORGOT!) BIG ANNOUNCEMENT SOON! Consider being a Patreon donor. We have bonus episodes and new benefits coming soon. Voicemail:...

They say the best things in life are free. And our bonus content costs $1 per month. Here's the free questions for you non donors this week. 1) What does pimple juice taste like and is it better or worse than cum? (Thanks Rico....) 2) Is there a standard wine and bread for Christian communion, or can they serve whatever they want? 3) Who is writing the shitty boomer memes on social media? 4) What if CPR was done by fucking butts? BIG ANNOUNCEMENT SOON! Consider being a Patreon donor. We have...