The Kvetching Professor

A rare treat! Hear one of my most popular songs in an episode where I humorously discuss the pros and cons of having a bunch of passions rather than just one. This is what it means to be a Renaissance soul — which is a problem when it’s 400 years after the Renaissance.

The very smart and funny Howard Sachar joins me for his third appearance on the “The Kvetching Professor.” As usual, a variety of unforeseen topics comes up, including a great idea for a consulting business, what happens when you call a doctor’s office these days, a beautiful European city not a whole lot of Americans have visited, and my addiction to fudgsicles.

Mark Twain once said, “Humor is tragedy plus time.” In this episode I talk about an example of that, focusing on something that happened before any of us were born. But then I discuss a couple of experiences I had that were not at all tragic, but very awkward – and yet soon became really funny stories.

In a time when civility so often seems to be missing in everyday life, it’s great that there’s still a place where we can easily practice it and brighten the day for our fellow human beings. I’m talking about doors and doorways. But what are the rules about opening doors or holding them open?

While the centerpiece of this episode is humorous, there is a serious message here as well. And in the introduction, I definitely get serious as I talk about issues concerning boys in America today. Girls are getting all kinds of encouragement, but boys are not, and yet I think our society will do best when boys as well as girls are encouraged to be all that they can be.

Listening to “Born to Be Wild,” the great Steppenwolf rock song from the late 1960s, got me thinking about what the title of my signature song might be. I think “Born to be Mild” would come closer. This episode takes a fun look at that, but I also talk about the lasting joys of rock.

In going through the piles of stuff I’ve saved over the years, I came across the “little black book” I bought when I was 16 years old, so I could write in the names and phone numbers of girls I hoped I might go out with. I kept this little book going for three or four years. In this episode I talk about a few of the girls I did go out with, and one who had an exclamation mark next to her name - but whom I can’t remember at all.

We all know people who are, shall we say, “difficult.” This episode talks about various terms we have for them, some of which aren’t so nice. But others are OK, like “high maintenance” and “piece of work.” Assuming you’re not the easiest person to be with, which would you rather be called? I’m sure you’ll agree, they’re both better than “total jerk” or “complete idiot.”

Here I look back at some old and classic children’s stories - from a contemporary perspective. The little engine that could? Are you kidding? Give me a break! I also talk about some of the best kids’ stories of the late 20 Century. I’m talking “George and Martha,” the two wonderful hippopotamus friends. Each story in the series is so short and sweet.

I’ve long heard about the status associated with being an "alpha male," so I’ve always wondered if I was one. In this educational and entertaining episode I talk about alpha males, beta males, and what makes you one or the other. Am I, the Kvetching Professor, an alpha male? There's only one way to find out! Listen in...

In this episode I take a lighthearted poke at some mottos of companies, colleges and countries. If you think about it, mottos are all around us. Many are quite inspiring, like Nike’s “Just Do It.” Others are a bit less so, like KFC’s “Finger-Lickin’ Good,” or the state of Michigan’s “If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you.” I mean let’s be honest. How many of us are truly seeking a pleasant peninsula?

In this episode, the Kvetching Professor, who has attended many a college graduation ceremony, suggests what a commencement speaker might say if he were being truly realistic about what the future holds for today’s graduates.

Today we’re encouraged to take pride in whatever groups we are a part of – whether it’s race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, etc. But one group, to which we all ultimately aspire, doesn’t seem to be proud of its identity: the old folks. In fact, we “seniors” (which sounds so high school!) are embarrassed even to use the term “old.” Here, the Kvetching Professor tries to put an end to that kind of self-shaming!

While this week’s episode of The Kvetching Professor features something I wrote more than 25 years ago, it certainly is highly relevant today, when, between new guidelines for therapists counseling men and boys and the Gillette ad, which went viral, the idea of boys as rowdy, rambunctious, and wild has become so yesterday.

Curious about your self-esteem? Wondering if you really feel good about yourself? For a lighthearted look at this, try the Kvetching Professor’s short self-esteem quiz, which is featured in this episode. Obviously, the Professor must not be feeling so good about himself if he’s spending his time coming up with this kind of silliness.

This week’s episode centers on a short satirical self-test for women who might be wondering, “Am I a feminist?” I wrote this way back in the mid-1990s, which was decades before the #MeToo movement, when you were still allowed to laugh a little about gender issues.

In this episode, the Kvetching Professor talks about the fantasy camp he could start, where for big bucks you could see how it feels to be a college professor! Who would need a rock’n’roll fantasy camp or a big league baseball fantasy camp if for a few days you could have the full college teacher experience?!

In this episode, I talk about how English has borrowed lots of words from other languages, including quite a few from German. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have just the right word to capture a familiar feeling. A well-known illustration of this is the word “angst.” Another, which is not as well known, is a feeling called “schadenfreude.” Listen to some fun examples of that one here, including my own experience of it.

My guest on this episode is Irwin Sperber, longtime professor of sociology at the State University of New York at New Paltz. Irwin is a fascinating man who I’ve known for more than 40 years. There are laughs here (he is a very funny guy), but they are interspersed with serious talk about being a father – in Irwin’s case, daughters; in mine, sons. And we also talk about our own fathers.

One day when I was doing some decluttering, I came across something I just couldn’t toss. It was my junior high school autograph album – from 1956! Have 12- and 13-year-old boys and girls changed in the last 60+ years? Listen to what they wrote back then, and you decide.