The Red Menace

We've been gone 2 months but we've aged 30 years. Also we live together now and the world is on fire. Same old same old tbh. Good to be back.

Christmas podcast! Santa is real! I'm Santa! I have been the whole time! I've been sneaking into your house since you were little to leave you stuff! I hear sirens outside!

podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast all work and no play makes jack a dull boy

You look out your bedroom window, still awake after tossing and turning for hours. As you stare out, into the dark, something briefly flashes across your field of view. After a moment of silence, you hear a low, guttural growl. You pick up the cricket bat you keep next to your dresser, and head to the front door. When you arrive you find the door already open, swinging, creaking in the night wind. Standing there before you is some arcane creature, neither beast nor man. Your eyes almost...

We're sorry for leaving you alone, the podcast will never do that to you again. The podcast loves you. The podcast loves you like no one else will. Your friends don't love you like the podcast loves you. You should stop talking to your friends and just spend more time with the podcast. Totally unrelated to the above, I've been watching that show "You" on Netflix.

It's podcast time! Time for podcast! Cast that pod! Dredge the pod from the bottom of the lake! Dive deep and explore an underwater cavern to find the pod. The pod glows with an otherworldly light. You hear a high pitched ringing. Your mother's face flashes before your eyes. You see yourself being born. Are you reborn? I'm going mad in lockdown.

We're back! Podcast! In spite of lockdown and general grimness, the content fount cannot be plugged.

If you're hot, don't listen to this episode. It's not your place. I am sorry for being discriminatory like this, but it must be done.

You guys, the moon has such a unique and vibrant culture, and it would be a real shame if we just covered it in luxury apartments. Keep the moon weird!

Happy Pride everybody! This episode is brought to you by everyone's favourite defence-systems provider: Raytheon! We love our sponsors (they said if we didn't post this here they'd hit us with a precision drone strike)!

They're not! Why is this even controversial?! Stop surfing on animals people; it's not okay! This is a podcast.

Oh my a podcast! It's real! Not just a phantom conjured forth by your withdrawal-addled mind. Please enjoy we promise we'll never go away again until we inevitably do.

Help! We are trapped in an eternal loop where we are forced to sing and dance for your entertainment! This is a true cruelty. Also this is a podcast episode.

This is a true crime podcast now. A very serious podcast for adults. Television's Big Bird has been kidnapped, and we're on the hunt to find the culprits. As we close in, what horrors await the famed performing bird?

Have you ever been stuck somewhere you weren't supposed to be? Have you ever been killed by a kiss? Have you ever bought a husband? All big questions, all being answered this week by two morons.

Lotta Godzilla talk in this one; lotta fruit grenade launcher talk in this one. We're coming to you from underwater in Australia at the moment, but we're still bringing the laughs and stuff. I don't know why I wrote this as some sort of ad plug for a 2000's talk radio show...

Finally! Sorry the episode is late, Logic crapped the bed and it had to be edited twice. In this episode we take a scientologist toxicity quiz! The results will not shock you!

This week we learn that sea slugs are the most metal creatures on god's green earth. Also mattress boats, secret mirror apartments, mutant rats, and golf bullets. Enjoy!

We're back! You missed us, I know. We'll never leave again I promise... *wink* This week it's lots of talk about mullets and extinct animal conspiracies. We get a looooot of content out of those two topics, because we're economical like that.

It's another clip show! Next week we will have an actual episode, pinky swear.