We Hate Movies

“It’s like advertising your picture has sound when special effects have come into market... it’s not the same.” - Chris, on bullies aging out On the April ’24 edition of WHM Mail Bag, we’re reading some letters from fans as we plug our upcoming run of spring shows! We’ve got letters from one fella who puked up Twizzlers during a Cleveland screening of the film Major League, another person who got revenge on a bully in a big, bad, totally gross way, another who the Universe would not let watch 2 Fast 2 Furious, and one guy who didn’t recognize the great Diana Ross on a college campus! Be sure to catch us THIS THURSDAY at the City Winery in Atlanta, Georgia as we talk about the dumb-ass Gerard Butler action flick, GAMER! And don’t forget to dance the WHM Texas Two-Step with us as we hit up Houston and Austin on back-to-back nights! Night 1 in Houston, we’ll be talking Robocop 2 at the Houston Improv and for Night 2 in Austin, we’ll be talking about the magnificent From Dusk Till Dawn (W❤️M) at Cap City Comedy. Texas, this May… we dance! Have a wild story you’d like read on the air? Or do you have a question for the gang? Then write into the Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com!

“This is kinda like Contact for stupid people?” - Steve On this week’s episode, we’re in the back-half of SHEENPRIL with a chat about the fairly solid, alien invasion b-picture, The Arrival! What kind of character name is Charlie’s here, with this Zane Zaminsky? If this movie was more popular, would there have been Zane Zaminsky Halloween costumes with the glasses, buzzed haircut and goatee? How incredible was the late Ron Silver at playing these great scumbag characters? And what were they thinking with killing off Lindsay Crouse’s with those stupid scorpions? PLUS: This episode has enough Ron Silver impressions to last a lifetime! The Arrival stars Charlie Sheen, Ron Silver, Lindsay Crouse, Teri Polo, Richard Schiff, Leon Rippy, and Ángel de la Peña as Skeleton Man; directed by David Twohy. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money! Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. That's RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! ATLANTA! We’ll catch you THIS THURSDAY, April 25th, at City Winery as we play our first show in SEVEN years! We’ll be talking about the outrageous Gerard Butler sci-fi action film, Gamer! And be sure to get on the trolley and catch next month’s WHM Texas Two-Step as we make our Houston debut on May 14th, talking Robocop 2 at the Houston Improv, followed by Night 2 in Austin, where we’ll be doing a We Love Movies episode on From Dusk Till Dawn at Cap City Comedy! Check out our website for all ticketing info! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new SHEENPRIL, Night Vision & Too Old For This Shit designs!

On this week's OSL, we're reviewing Alex Garland's Civil War, reacting to the new trailer for Joker: Folie à Deux, going over the weekend box office, learning about another Secret Movie™️ starring Eric Roberts, and chatting with Cinématographe curator & producer, Justin LaLiberty about some upcoming blu-ray releases they have coming out, including a gorgeous new disc on Paul Schrader's Touch, which features an essay by Chris Cabin! Catch us on tour NEXT WEEK in Atlanta where we're talking Gerard Butler in Gamer, and then the WHM Texas Two-Step starting in Houston on 5/14 where we're making our debut talking Robocop 2, and then Austin 5/15 where we'll be doing a We Love Movies episode all about From Dusk Till Dawn! Ticketing information available on our website! And be sure to scope out our new NIGHT VISION and TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT merch designs in our Tee Public shop! On-Screen Live airs Mondays @ noon/EST on our YouTube and Twitch channels, so subscribe to the show on both!

“There is a terminal velocity for us all!” - Steve, on death On this week’s episode, SHEENPRIL takes to the skies… and dives into a great conversation about the outrageous skydiving-centric action movie, Terminal Velocity! Is James Gandolfini believable as a Russian heavy? Has there been better skydiving stunts in a major motion picture? How humiliating is it to die by drowning in your own fish tank? And why would an eight year-old kid want a skydiver to land at their birthday party? PLUS: What’s wrong with a little Tasteful Shadow? Terminal Velocity stars Charlie Sheen, Nastassja Kinski, Christiopher McDonald, Melvin van Peebles, Hans Howes, Margaret Colin, Suli McCullough, Gary Bullock, and James Gandolfini as Ben Pinkwater; directed by Deran Sarafian. This episode is brought to you in part by Ladder Financial! So go to Ladder Life dot com slash whm today to see if you’re instantly approved. That’s L-A-D-D-E-R Life dot com slash whm… Ladder Life dot com slash whm. Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, y’all! We’ll be in Atlanta on 4/25 (Gamer), Houston on 5/14 (Robocop 2), and Austin on 5/15 (From Dusk Till Dawn)! Tickets are on sale now and meet & greets are happening at all shows, so head to our website and pick up your tix today—we wanna see you out there! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Time Runner, Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

Hey folks, did you know we're starting our spring run of shows NEXT WEEK in the beautiful city of Atlanta, Georgia? That's right, on April 25th, we'll be returning to HOT-lanta for the first time in seven years to play the gorgeous City Winery, where we'll be talking about the Gerard Butler man-as-video-game-avatar nightmare, Gamer! Then in May, we're gonna pull off the WHM Texas Two-Step as we first make our debut in Houston, Texas on May 14th, playing the Houston Improv, where we'll be talking all about the magnificently wild sequel, Robocop 2! And then the very next night, May 15th, we continue our dance with the Lone Star State as we roll into Austin, Texas for the first time in six years to do an official We ❤️ Movies show on one of our all-time faves, From Dusk Till Dawn, at Cap City Comedy! All ticketing info can be found on our website, and because we've seen a lot of folks asking, yes, every show does indeed have a VIP meet-and-greet after the performance! We'll be on hand to say hi, take photos, sign some stuff and so on. We're gonna have a lot of fun on this run and we wanna see you all out there! Now, for this major VHS Trailer Game edition, the Jamemaster has set up a huge, 8-round jame based off of tapes from Robocop 2 and From Dusk Till Dawn! And remember, these are OFFICIAL VHS Trailer Game rounds, so all points accrued on this bonus episode count toward our season totals! Enjoy!

On this week's OSL, we're reviewing Dev Patel's action-packed Monkey Man and Vera Drew's The People's Joker, reacting to trailers for In a Violent Nature and Alien: Romulus, reviewing a Michael Keaton Secret Movie™️, Knox Goes Away, analyzing the weekend box office (was anyone excited for The First Omen?), and more! Catch us on tour this spring in Atlanta where we're talking Gerard Butler in Gamer, Houston where we're making our debut talking Robocop 2, and Austin where we'll be doing a We Love Movies episode all about From Dusk Till Dawn! Ticketing information available on our website! And be sure to scope out our new NIGHT VISION and TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT merch designs in our Tee Public shop! On-Screen Live airs Mondays @ noon/EST on our YouTube and Twitch channels, so subscribe to the show on both!

“Once again, it’s Clint Eastwood as a cop, so he is costing everyone millions of dollars.” - Chris On this week’s We Hate Movies, our dumbest theme month yet, SHEENPRIL continues with a wild conversation on the totally outrageous Clint Eastwood movie, The Rookie! How hilariously inept is Raul Julia’s car thief mastermind? How incredible is the opening car carrier chase sequence? How great is this cast full of real-deal character actors? Did Sheen’s character really need to drive that motorcycle through the door? Couldn’t we get a little more Tom Skerritt and a lot more Lara Flynn Boyle? And what are the odds this movie was a re-worked “one last case” Dirty Harry film? The Rookie stars Clint Eastwood, Charlie Sheen, Raul Julia, Sonia Braga, Lara Flynn Boyle, Pepe Serna, Marco Rodríguez, Xander Berkeley, Tony Plana, Paul Ben-Victor, and Tom Skerritt as Eugene Ackerman; directed by Clint Eastwood. This episode is brought to you in part by Storyblocks! For a limited time, get 3 additional months free if you sign up with an annual individual license plan. Go to storyblocks.com/WHM to take advantage of this exclusive offer only available until the end of May 2024. The offer won't appear at checkout, but rest assured, it will be automatically added to your account shortly after you sign up. And also by Bespoke Post! Get a free Mystery Gift with your first monthly shipment when you sign up at Box of Awesome dot com and enter the code whm at checkout. That’s Box of Awesome dot com, code whm for a free Mystery Gift with your first monthly shipment. Box of Awesome dot com, code whm. Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, y’all! We’ll be in Atlanta on 4/25 (Gamer), Houston on 5/14 (Robocop 2), and Austin on 5/15 (From Dusk Till Dawn)! Tickets are on sale now and meet & greets are happening at all shows, so head to our website and pick up your tix today—we wanna see you out there! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Time Runner, Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

"Danger Room Liaisons... someone make a parody poster... with Magneto in place of Malkovich" - Eric On this episode of Too Old for This Shit, we're chatting about X-Men '97's "Fire Made Flesh" and "Motendo/Lifedeath - Part 1"! Airing March 27 and April 3 of this year, these episode see our mutant X-Men friends battling Mr. Sinister in a haunted version of the mansion, clone Jean Grey becoming the Goblin Queen, Jubilee and Sunspot getting sucked into—WARNING! This Danger Room simulation is for subscribers only! To access the full episode, along with hours and hours of exclusive content you cannot get anywhere else, subscribe to our Patreon! Experience the WHM family of shows, including The Nexus (Star Trek), The Gleep Glossary (Star Wars), Animation Damnation, MELR0210, and more!

“To this day, as of right now, as the words are coming out of my mouth… I have no clue how the stock market works!” - Andrew On this month’s patron-selected We ❤️ Movies episode, we’re chatting about the absolutely fantastic cautionary tale, yes, folks, a cautionary tale, Oliver Stone’s Wall Street! How incredible is Michael Douglas in this movie? Does it get any better than that Talking Heads needle drop? How terribly miscast was—hold it right there, it's the SEC! Just kidding, but this episode is for subscribers only. To access the full show, along with hundreds of hours of exclusive bonus content, sign up for our Patreon today!

On this week's OSL, we're reviewing the box office smash hit, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, reacting to trailers for The Penguin miniseries and Jerry Seinfeld's Unfrosted, checking out a Liam Neeson-starring Secret Movie™️ from Ireland called In the Land of Saints and Sinners, and more! Catch us on tour this spring in Atlanta where we're talking Gerard Butler in Gamer, Houston where we're making our debut talking Robocop 2, and Austin where we'll be doing a We Love Movies episode all about From Dusk Till Dawn! Ticketing information available on our website! And be sure to scope out our new NIGHT VISION and TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT merch designs in our Tee Public shop! On-Screen Live airs Mondays @ noon/EST on our YouTube and Twitch channels, so subscribe to the show on whichever platform you frequent!

“Yes! Bring me more of that sharp profanity!” - Andrew on the Major League script On this week’s episode, we’re kicking off SHEENPRIL here on We Hate Movies with a chat about the beloved sports comedy, Major League! How bonkers is it that Tom Berenger’s Jake Taylor is straight-up stalking Rene Russo’s Lynn Wells throughout this whole movie? Was the real Willie Mays Hayes murdered by Wesley’s character and this guy just took his place at the tryouts? How many pounds of gravel did James Gammon have to eat throughout his life to get that majestic voice? And who knew Sheen’s Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn was going to be such a huge sensation? PLUS: Who wins in a fight between James Gammon and Rip Torn?! Major League stars Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Margaret Whitton, James Gammon, Rene Russo, Wesley Snipes, Charles Cyphers, Chelcie Ross, Dennis Haysbert, and Bob Uecker as Harry Doyle; directed by David S. Ward. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. And also by Astepro! Get fast-acting nasal allergy symptom relief with Astepro. Go to Astepro allergy dot com for a discount so you can Astepro and Go! today. A-S-T-E-P-R-O allergy dot com. Astepro and Go! Use as directed for relief of nasal congestion, runny nose, sneezing and itchy nose due to allergies. Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, y’all! We’ll be in Atlanta on 4/25 (Gamer), Houston on 5/14 (Robocop 2), and Austin on 5/15 (From Dusk Till Dawn)! Tickets are on sale now and meet & greets are happening at all shows, so head to our website and pick up your tix today—we wanna see you out there! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new NIGHT VISION, Too Old For This Shit and Time Runner designs!

On this week's OSL, we're reviewing Ghostbusters legacy sequel #2, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, the new horror film Rosemary's Nunnery, oops, I mean Immaculate, and the straight-to-Amazon's-bowels reboot of Road House starring Jake Gyllenhaal! We're also checking in on the weekend box office to see if it got BUSTED or if Kung Fu Panda's third sequel remained supreme! Catch us on tour this spring in Atlanta where we're talking Gerard Butler in Gamer, Houston where we're making our debut talking Robocop 2, and Austin where we'll be doing a We Love Movies episode all about From Dusk Till Dawn! Ticketing information available on our website! And be sure to scope out our new NIGHT VISION and TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT merch designs in our Tee Public shop! On-Screen Live airs Mondays @ noon/EST on our YouTube and Twitch channels, so subscribe to the show on whichever platform you frequent!

“If you are not 100% always entertained by [Yahoo Serious] you are fucked for good with this movie!” - Chris On this week’s episode, the 2024 Listener Request Month comes to a close with a discussion about the well-made (craft-wise), but incredibly stupid comedy, Young Einstein! How much of a banger is this soundtrack? How gorgeous are these panoramic shots of Tasmania? How many times can Yahoo Serious fall through or off something in this movie? How funny is that little Critters-esque Tasmanian Devil costume? And come on, what are the odds a Cat Pie is a real dish? PLUS: An extended analysis of Jake Gyllenhaal not bathing. Young Einstein stars Yahoo Serious, Odile Le Clezio, John Howard, Peewee Wilson, Su Cruickshank, Roger Ward, and Basil Clarke as Charles Darwin; directed by Yahoo Serious. Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, y’all! We’ll be in Atlanta on 4/25 (Gamer), Houston on 5/14 (Robocop 2), and Austin on 5/15 (From Dusk Till Dawn)! Tickets are on sale now and meet & greets are happening at all shows, so head to our website and pick up your tix today—we wanna see you out there! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Time Runner, Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

On this week's OSL, we're reviewing the new David Dastmalchian horror film, Late Night with the Devil, reacting to the trailer for the remake of The Crow starring Bill Skarsgård, checking out a Pierce Brosnan Secret Movie™️ called Fast Charlie, going over the weekend box office, and more! Catch us on tour this spring in Atlanta where we're talking Gerard Butler in Gamer, Houston where we're making our debut talking Robocop 2, and Austin where we'll be doing a We Love Movies episode all about From Dusk Till Dawn! Ticketing information available on our website! On-Screen Live airs Mondays @ noon/EST on our YouTube and Twitch channels, so subscribe to the show on whichever platform you frequent!

“He’s one of the worst to ever do it, folks…” - Steve on Chris Klein On this week’s episode, we’re chatting about the terrible, hatchet job remake, Rollerball! Why do studios put so much trust in dumbass test screenings? Why did McTiernan think getting all the social commentary out of this remake was a smart idea? Why were they banking so hard on the charm of… ECW’s Paul Heyman? How many re-shoots does it take to sink a movie? And does this movie have one of the worst soundtracks of all time? PLUS: Orson Welles weighs in on the use of… NIGHT. VISION. Rollerball stars Chris Klein, Jean Reno, LL Cool J, Rebecca Romijn, Naveen Andrews, Oleg Taktarov, Andrew Bryniarski, and Paul Heyman as English Sports Announcer; directed by John McTiernan. This episode is brought to you in part by Astepro! Get fast-acting nasal allergy symptom relief with Astepro. Go to Astepro allergy dot com for a discount so you can Astepro and Go! today. A-S-T-E-P-R-O allergy dot com. Astepro and Go! (Use as directed for relief of nasal congestion, runny nose, sneezing and itchy nose due to allergies.) And also by MeUndies! Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping, at MeUndies dot com slash whm. That’s Me Undies dot com slash whm for 20% off, plus free shipping. MeUndies—comfort from the outside in! Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, y’all! We’ll be in Atlanta on 4/25 (Gamer), Houston on 5/14 (Robocop 2), and Austin on 5/15 (From Dusk Till Dawn)! Tickets are on sale now and meet & greets are happening at all shows, so head to our website and pick up your tix today—we wanna see you out there! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Time Runner, Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

“Wolverine’s the best Canadian fictional character of all time, probably?” - Eric On this preview episode of our new show, Too Old for This Shit, we’re chatting about the two-part pilot of X-Men ’92, “Night of the Sentinels.” Originally airing on October 31 and November 7, 1992, this episode sees Jubilee move in with the X-Men after her narc foster father calls the feds on her, Wolverine dressing like Al Borland from Home Improvement in his down time, Gambit aggressively hitting on a girl at the mall, Cyclops and Wolverine visiting a bar filled exclusively with Jack Nicholson impersonators, Beast being sent to a black site prison, and Morph getting hilariously murdered! The rest of this first series of Too Old for This Shit is going to cover the first season of the all-new Disney+ show, X-Men ’97. The full release schedule is available on our website. Going forward, this show will be available exclusively for subscribers on the Walsh tier of our Patreon, so make sure you don’t miss a minute of these X-Men ’97 recaps and subscribe today! And catch us on tour this spring, we're playing Atlanta, Houston, and Austin— tickets are on sale now, so visit our website for ticketing info today, we wanna see you all out there!

On this week's OSL, we're reviewing Rose Glass's fantastic Love Lies Bleeding, and taking a look back at last night's Oscars ceremony by talking about the winners, seeing how Jimmy Kimmel did as host, Arnold & Danny reuniting on stage, John Cena's total package, Pacino totally flubbing the Best Picture presentation, and, of course, checking in on Chris Cabin's annual list of poor souls that were Farina'd during the In Memoriam reel! We'll also be going over the weekend box office numbers & more! Catch us on tour this spring in Atlanta where we're talking Gerard Butler in Gamer, Houston where we're making our debut talking Robocop 2, and Austin where we'll be doing a We Love Movies episode all about From Dusk Till Dawn! Ticketing information available on our website! On-Screen Live airs Mondays @ noon/EST on our YouTube and Twitch channels, so subscribe to the show on whichever platform you frequent!

“Ooo, yeah, throw a plate at me, Demi Moore!” - Eric On this week’s episode, the 2024 Listener Request Month continues with a convo all about the absolute trash-fest that is, Indecent Proposal! Why don’t we see the Moore/Redford sex scene? Why are we doing that flashback with Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore, using a bad wig and braces respectively, to comically play 19 year-olds? Why are we bothering with the lame, dueling, his & hers VoiceOver tracks? How cowardly were these filmmakers and studio execs who were scared to have Redford play an actual villain? And why didn’t we ever get the Seymour Cassel spin-off film, Shackleford?! PLUS: Using Robert Redford movie titles as sex slang, fun for all! Indecent Proposal stars Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson, Robert Redford, Seymour Cassel, Oliver Platt, Billy Bob Thornton, Billy Connolly, Danny Zorn, Kevin West, and Rip Taylor as Mr. Langford; directed by Adrian Lyne. This week’s episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! This episode is also brought to you by Factor. Head to FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 and use code whm50 to get 50% off. That’s code whm50 at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 to get 50% off! Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, y’all! We’ll be in Atlanta on 4/25 (Gamer), Houston on 5/14 (Robocop 2), and Austin on 5/15 (From Dusk Till Dawn)! Tickets are on sale now and meet & greets are happening at all shows, so head to our website and pick up your tix today—we wanna see you out there! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Time Runner, Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

“We open on this Eyes Wide Shut party…” - Steve On this month’s patrons-only and patron-selected We ❤️ Movies episode, we’re finally sitting down to talk about one of the absolute best to ever hit the screen, The Fugitive! How incredible is Harrison Ford’s performance in this? Has Chicago ever looked cooler in a movie that’s not The Blues Brothers? Is there a better lived-in team of—HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, DR. KIMBLE! This episode is for Patreon subscribers only! To unlock the full episode, along with hours and hours of exclusive bonus shows like Once In A Lifetime, MELR0210, The Nexus, and more, including AD-FREE We Hate Movies, head to our Patreon and sign up today!

On this week's OSL, we're reviewing Dune: Part Two, reacting to the trailers for both Kevin Costner's latest vanity project-- um, epic western, Horizon: An American Saga, as well as the "return" (lol) of Kevin Spacey in the unintentionally-laugh-riot-looking hitman film, Peter Five Eight! We're also briefly talking about the Oscars (more on them next week, naturally), and going over the Dune-heavy weekend box office numbers! PLUS: We reveal our next major Patreon offering, and it's a show you will NOT want to miss! Catch us on tour this spring in Atlanta where we're talking Gerard Butler in Gamer, Houston where we're making our debut talking Robocop 2, and Austin where we'll be doing a We Love Movies episode all about From Dusk Till Dawn! Ticketing information available on our website! On-Screen Live airs Mondays @ noon/EST on our YouTube and Twitch channels, so subscribe to the show on whichever platform you frequent!