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Podcast by Michele Guild

Podcast by Michele Guild
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Podcast by Michele Guild






50 - It's From the Asparagus

Episode 50: It’s From the Asparagus We’re changing it up a bit for our 50th episode and beyond! New music, new segments, same old Trash Michele! Today we talk about the juiciest details of my recent string of bad dates, produce aisle inspired hairstyles, date night dealbreakers, withholding dogs, super secret Navy operations, beloved sea creatures, and more! Mega thanks to my Patreon subscribers! New video coming soon Shout outs!! Cullah Music! https://cullah.com/wp/ The Untrained Eye!...


49 - Ice in my Veins

Welcome to Episode 49: Ice in my Veins What’s it called when you embarrass yourself by means of another person? Well, I don’t know, but I have an opinion. This week I break down my emotional journey through the great musical Rocketman and express my love for notorious good sweet boy, Elton John. I also dig into saddness that comes with being best friends with a dog, but I never cried. Ever. I have a stone cold heart and ice in my veins. Then I have a story about my parents that I probably...


48 - Fascinating

Welcome to Episode 48 - Fascinating! This week I get a little crazy and make an impromptu phone call to my psychotic stalker/scam artist from Nigeria and call him out on his threats of sexual violence towards me. FUN! Also in the topics of discussion: Ted Bundy, crazy gameshow contestants, the sex life of conjoined twins, and cosplay. *Drinking game for this episode: Drink every time I say "fascinating" or mention that I don't have any money! Thanks for being here, love you lots. NEW! Visit...


47 - Urban Legends

This week we go exploring and learn about urban legends throughout North America including murderous rabbits, smelly yetis, axe murderers, and more! We also get a grand update on the whereabouts of my Nigerian stalker/antagonist/friend. Then I try to make friends on Facebook and it doesn't go so well so I get mad and abruptly end the episode out of anger. WELCOME! NEW! Visit http://bit.ly/WelcomeToMyShop to gift yourself some trash and help support this bad show! ALSO: Patreon patrons will...


46 - Starbucks Bullsh*t

In Episode 46 we find the answers to life's toughest questions. Can vampires become sexually aroused? Does Tony Hawk exist? Will middle aged moms camp out for Starbucks' newest gimmick? Does cheese give you nightmares? Will Michele become the next pop sensation and get a stylish hat glued to her head? The answers MAY SURPRISE YOU. Listen to find out the answers to these questions AND MORE. NEW! Visit http://bit.ly/WelcomeToMyShop to gift yourself some trash and help support this bad show!...


45 - Diet Cherry Vanilla Smile Lite Zero

It’s Mental F*ckery Awareness Month and this week is all about me telling you to smile more, but in the least degrading way possible! Ok that’s not what it’s all about. I also tell you about a crazy Nigerian scammer who’s writing a book about ME, the billionaire of knowledge! I take you on a journey through my self-experimentation on my own failing mind and body, we have a few laughs, share a few mushrooms, and read a great conversation I had with a self-published “author” who credits me...


44 - Emptying the Junk Drawer

Welcome to Episode 44! This week is the perfect mix of negativity and positivity. We discuss phone calls from Mickey Mouse, popcorn snafus, good music, weird stuff I found in my junk drawer, my stupid cat, using water unsparingly, the woes of French fries, the magic of mushrooms and maple syrup, and what it takes to be a beautiful, powerful, independent womxn (not a typo). Thank you for being here! NEW! Visit http://bit.ly/WelcomeToMyShop to gift yourself some trash and help support this bad...


43 - The Happiest Place on Earth

This week we discuss those dang dead pigs, crazy Russian experiments from the 40s, the most amazing and most deadly amusement park ever, and my plan for when time travel becomes a possibility. .:.Drinking game for this episode.:. drink every time I say “revitalize,” “frickin,” and “Vernon.” Also every time I reference “drunk children” and every time someone dies. Trust me, this will all make more sense while listening. Suggested talking points: Having a forgettable face My best friend forgot...


42 - Dating Purgatory

Episode 42: This week we talk Post Office arguments, being overwhelmed, bad dates, how to reciprocate a compliment, and escaping purgatory. PLUS join me as I eat a bunch of random things from a Korean grocery store. NEW: Patreon patrons will now get exclusive videos of every segment of Garbage Kitchen. Now you can WATCH my reactions rather than just listening. OH BOY! If you have bad date stories and would like to be a guest (or just want to send those stories), email me at...


41 - It's 2019, Everyones Suffering

This week I spill too much information about my personal life thanks to tequila and energy drinks, soak up my sorrows in dollar store potato chips, and get emotionally and romantically inspired by the horrible people on Craigslist. What a wet and wild ride! Suggested talking points: A brief and abrupt Garbage Kitchen Pickle chips Drinking alone and being miserable Relationships and dating unsuccessfully Craigslist, murderers, public nudity, and indecent exposure SET AND ACCEPT YOUR VALUE AND...


40 - Peter

This week I welcome Peter from Audible Farm Podcast to my show! I feed him mystery treats from the Garbage Kitchen and then ask if he has any allergies. We also go bobbing for Craigslist Missed Connections and discuss candy petitions, online dating, and Peter’s love of tomatoes. Hey friends, next time you see Peter, hand him a tomato. He likes them a lot. Suggested talking points Audible Farm Podcast STARRING Peter Stockdale Eating garbage Mystery potato chips Hot m&m’s and other treats...


39 - Picking Up Chicks at the Post Office

This week, listen as Michele delivers subpar audio in her car while driving to visit her parents and collaborate with a fellow podcaster, Peter Stockdale from Audible Farm! I discuss heroes and how they let us down, learning how to moonwalk, winning embarrassing prizes, and a very quick trip into the garbage kitchen. Listen at your own risk! Sorry for the train wreck audio quality, my good friends! Suggested talking points Michael Jackson sexual predators Louis CK Bill Cosby guilty pleasures...


38 - No Means No

Welcome to Episode 38: No Means No This is a very important episode for me. I had a chance to thank all the very amazing, extremely supportive people in my life who have helped me make some important and tough decisions to better myself and my surroundings. I also make time for a trash news story and a trip to the Garbage Kitchen for some fun fiesta treats! I also announce my new podcast network! (links below, friends!) Speaking of links and friends, please check out and subscribe and...


37 - Happy Clam, One!

Welcome to the first installment of the show-within-a-show called Happy Clam! The show all about positivity and the little things in life that bring us joy! This week I talk about finding joy in daylight savings, tiny things(and big, huge things), office gossip, getting kidnapped (but in a funny, kind of sitcommy way?), putting a positive spin on public embarrassment, and curiously mysterious flavors. Join me and let’s smile together! Suggested talking points: Daylight savings time Life...


36 - Underwear Bandit

Welcome to another bad week on Welcome To My Show, the show! Titanic tangents, underwear blunders, and infiltrated work outings. All of this and so much more awfulness! Join me you filthy babies! Suggested talking points: Sleep deprivation Titanic Dinner with coworkers Embarrassing yourself to the top Stealing underwear Beauty and the Beast The Little Mermaid George of the Jungle Brendan Fraser and his long lost abs Bad App Reviews Phil Collins hates me My virtual boyfriend Streams are good...


35 - Lend a Helping Handjob

This week on my bad show, we discuss getting pulled over, a very bad way to spend your February, bad bathroom behavior, a quick re-visit of Fyre Fest with a listener submission, and a not-so-sexy crime documentary. Suggested Talking Points: New recording studio Getting pulled over Lady cops Fireworks and other explosives February holidays Spunky Old Broads Cougar Cruises Being a bad person again Valentines Being a responsible adult Toilet etiquette Abducted in Plain Sight Netflix...


34 - I don't like anything.

Episode 34: I don't like anything. This raw and uncut episode brought to you entirely by my laziness! This week I discuss therapy alternatives, Texperiences ('Texas experiences' for the uneducated listeners), my own personal haters, Valentine's Day, and the 90: Craigslist Version! Stick around for the VERY end for a fun mashup song from the Youtubes. Pod Links iTunes: bit.ly/itunesWTMS Google: bit.ly/GoogleWTMS SoundCloud: bit.ly/scWTMS Stitcher: bit.ly/WTMSstitcher Castbox:...


33 - Irresponsible Sandwich

This week I ate sandwiches irresponsibly. Don't tell my mom or my seven year old self. You know what, don't tell my future self either. I'm hoping to forget this soon. Pod Links iTunes: bit.ly/itunesWTMS Google: bit.ly/GoogleWTMS SoundCloud: bit.ly/scWTMS Stitcher: bit.ly/WTMSstitcher Castbox: bit.ly/WTMScastbox TuneIn: bit.ly/WTMStunein PocketCasts: bit.ly/WTMSpocketcast Overcast: bit.ly/WTMSovercast Acast: bit.ly/WTMSacast Blubrry: bit.ly/WTMSblubrry Listen Notes: bit.ly/WTMSlistennotes GO...


32 - Dollar Store Petting Zoo

Welcome to Episode 32: Dollar Store Petting Zoo! This week’s show is about, well, when have my titles ever steered you wrong? With the cold weather upon us, I decided to escape to more pleasant times of being surrounded by animals and horrible strangers who like to insert themselves in your personal conversations. PLUS a very special guest (surprise, it’s my mom!), and she helps me navigate our dark experiences at the zoo as well as the typical motherly banter. She’s always worried that I...


1,000,000 - I'm a Fraud

THIS IS A GOOD ONE I WOULD NEVER LIE. This week I tell a horrible story about a very bad lie I told. Also, I deep dive into the failed Fyre Festival, and tell a few other stories that I heard through the magic of eavesdropping. Come with me on this luxury island getaway. Kendall Jenner will be there. For real. Pod Links iTunes: bit.ly/itunesWTMS Google: bit.ly/GoogleWTMS SoundCloud: bit.ly/scWTMS Stitcher: bit.ly/WTMSstitcher Castbox: bit.ly/WTMScastbox TuneIn: bit.ly/WTMStunein PocketCasts:...