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Join Ben Van der Velde, Barry McStay and their guests as they brandish their wooden spoons of destiny and celebrate the losers, heroic failures and spectacular mis-steps that pockmark human endeavour. If you ever want to feel better about your progress in life, take a listen and enjoy a lovely schadenfreude bubble bath. Music by Max Perryment (www.maxperryment.co.uk)

Join Ben Van der Velde, Barry McStay and their guests as they brandish their wooden spoons of destiny and celebrate the losers, heroic failures and spectacular mis-steps that pockmark human endeavour. If you ever want to feel better about your progress in life, take a listen and enjoy a lovely schadenfreude bubble bath. Music by Max Perryment (www.maxperryment.co.uk)
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United Kingdom


Join Ben Van der Velde, Barry McStay and their guests as they brandish their wooden spoons of destiny and celebrate the losers, heroic failures and spectacular mis-steps that pockmark human endeavour. If you ever want to feel better about your progress in life, take a listen and enjoy a lovely schadenfreude bubble bath. Music by Max Perryment (www.maxperryment.co.uk)








Ep 122: Javier Jarquin - World's Worst Assassin

We’ve got the World’s Worst Assassin firmly in our wavering crosshairs today, with comic and card-ninja Javier Jarquin as our killer guest. It’s jam-packed with familiar figures like Lincoln, Rasputin and Nero, as well as some lesser known stories. Ben tells tales of booby-trapped Nazi chocolate, Javi finds a ninja in his toilet and Barry reminds us all to check the best-before date on your cyanide before purchase. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde...


Ep 121 - World's Worst Host with guest judge Lydia Mizon

After 120 episodes we thought we'd finally dispense with a guest and go toe to toe. Barry and Ben duke it out over who the worst host of all time is, with special guest judge (and $10/month Patreon donor) Lydia Mizon deciding the winner. Together they reveal morbid Roman dinner parties, give the elevator pitch for the new show 'Celebrity Slaps' and discover yet another very weird slice of Japanese hospitality. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @lydiamizon Visit...


Ep 120: Johnny Chiodini - World's Worst D&D Class

Spellcasting - AWFUL! We are led through the dark and dingy underworld of the legendary roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons by writer, performer, video game expert, Eurogamer content-maker, and professional Dungeon Master Johnny Chiodini. With Johnny's expertise we seek out the World's Worst Class (that world being that of D&D, not the stratified capitalist hellscape we're all currently inhabiting). There are notable appearances by the wizards of the Ku Klux Klan, the Chesney Hawkes...


The Third Foot - Fertility Treatments (Bonus Episode)

It’s your May Bonus Episode, thanks to our supporters on Patreon.com, and this time we are revisiting the episode with Dr Keir Shiels about the World’s Worst Doctor. Our winner was John R. Brinkley whose practice of putting goat-balls into human ballsacks to treat impotence leads Ben to take us through a history of fertility treatments. There are welcome returns for Pliny The Elder, the Malleus Maleficarum and the wandering womb, as well as plenty of animal body parts and urine - just a...


Ep 119: Katie Pritchard - World's Worst Allergy

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCHOOOOO! We bring you this week's episode with streaming eyes and ruby red nose as we dip or toes tentatively into the pretty grim world of allergies. Our guest - musical genius and comedy joy-bomb Katie Pritchard - shares her own unique tasting menu of allergies, whilst Ben fails to keep a straight face about allergies to electricity, semen and blackberries and Barry recalls the findings of our old friend Pliny the Elder and some truly horrifying dog-bothering. Follow...


Ep 118b: Best Of The Worst Of The Best 5

Once more we go back into the past with some positive vibes this time. We revisit episode 21 to 25 in search of the World's BEST in the categories of MMA Fighter, Kids Movie, Cook, Lodgings and Screen Actor. There are some big hitters in here with the likes of The Wizard Of Oz, Heston Blumenthal and Frank Lloyd Wright's masterpiece, Fallingwater. And there are some more surprising appearances for the likes of a Greek statue falling on its opponent, Glenn Close in a beard, and Ben's...


Ep 118: Chloe Petts - World's Worst Mascot

This week we enter the surprisingly murky world of mascots with stand-up comic (and former Crystal Palace mascot) Chloe Petts for company. There's a cornucopia of delights inside this week including cocaine-dealing parrots, indestructible cats, swans committing GBH and a former Tory MP, with tattooed eyebrows being transformed into a ship's figurehead... Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @ChloePetts Visit www.worstfootforwardpodcast.com for all previous episodes...


Ep 117: Alexander Bennett - World's Worst Scientific Fraud

Pop on your lab coats and join us down in the Worst Foot Forward labs as we uncover a carnival of quackery, forgery and all sorts of morally dubious activity done in the name of human progress. At the behest of one of our Patreon supporters we took a look at some of the world's worst scientific frauds and uncovered the story of the Piltdown Man (mammoth tusk cricket bat and all), how to make gold from seawater and why a certain species of toad are really into S&M. Follow us on Twitter:...


Ep 116: Lauren Johnson - World's Worst Prince

Behind every king or queen there always seems to be a witless eldest son, a dissipating and disappointing heir or some conniving offspring waiting next in line. We're joined by historian and author Lauren Johnson who takes us through some lacklustre lineage in search of the World's Worst Prince. We hear some classic gaffes from Prince Philip, encounter some badass con artists, shed light on the Dark Ages and meet the man behind the legend that is Disney's Prince John. Follow us on Twitter:...


The Third Foot - Theophilus Marzials (Bonus Episode)

In the second of our monthly bonus episodes, courtesy of our fantastic fans on Patreon, we revisit a former winner of an episode: Theophilus Marzials, our World's Worst Poet. Barry recites some of his poetry including the legendary 'A Tragedy' (plop!) as well as some of the critical reaction at the time, we hear of his shenanigans in the British Museum and we also learn about his alma mater's other famous alumni. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde Visit...


Ep 115: Alasdair Beckett-King - World's Worst Saint

This week's episode has been thoroughly spot-checked by a crack team of cardinals preparing Barry, Ben and their guest, comedian and animator Alasdair Beckett-King for canonisation. There's the usual rogues gallery you'd come to expect from the Catholic Church, plus a very good dog, a very bad murderer and our old pal Simeon Stylites, doing unspeakable things from atop an enormous pillar. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @MisterABK @Loremenpod Visit...


Ep 114: Jonathan Shariat - World's Worst Design Flaw

Our guest this week is perfectly designed in every way to give us an insight into the World's Worst Design Flaw. A designer and author of the book Tragic Design, Jonathan Shariat is also a podcaster with a bone to pick with the Florida ballot papers during the 2000 US Presidential Election. Ben turns his fire on badly designed guns (and promptly shoots himself) and Barry has a wander through the history of QWERTY. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde...


Ep 113: Kyle Ross & Joel Samuel - World's Worst Manager

This week we don our sheepskin jacket (with a bribe sown in the lining), enjoy a cheeky post-match half (plus a wee nip from our hip flask) and stand on the sidelines hollering impotently into the wind, as we reveal the worst managers of all time. Alongside our guests from the Absolute Worldie podcast we discover the very formal early history of Scottish football, a black magic bank job, the astonishing tale of Nicholas Anelka's blagging younger brother and why you should never prank a...


Ep 112: Andrew Somerville - World's Worst Algorithm

We're in uncharted waters this week, as Ben and Barry are confronted with technology far beyond their understanding, otherwise known as our guest Andrew Somerville. An immersive theatre-maker and tech whizz (we don't really understand IT job titles...), Andrew's experience is brought to bear on the World's Worst Algorithms, with the boys tagging along gamely in his brainy wake. There's plenty to enjoy, from the story of Ada Lovelace, the chilling effects of living in online bubbles, and the...


Ep 111: Sarah Jones - World's Worst Smell

Hold your noses and dive into the open sewer of the most olfactorily repulsive episode yet. Joined by Sarah Jones, an expert on microbes, minerals and a bunch of really pungent jobs we delve into the eye-watering world of the world's worst smell. There are tales of the Asian "King of Fruits", canine flatuomancy and The Great Stink, plus our old friends at the World War 2 Special Operations unit turn up again with yet another plan to win the war using maverick means. We might all come up...


The Third Foot - Psychosurgery (Bonus Episode)

As promised a couple of episodes ago, since we've hit our target on Patreon of 25 supporters, we'll be throwing out an extra show per month for all our listeners in which we focus in more depth on some of our world's worst winners. For this first extra edition we went all the way back to our first episode and explored the grisly world of trepanning and lobotomies. We're not gonna lie, it's pretty grim stuff, but even amongst the horrific excuses for medical science we manage to find the...


Ep 110: Cerys Bradley - World's Worst Scientific Experiment

We're down in the lab tinkering with equipment, mixing dangerous substances and generally causing chaos. We're conducting the World's Worst Scientific Experiment under the watchful eye of the hugely qualified and clever Cerys Bradley. There are a surprising amount of stories involving puppy-torture, probes being stuck in surprising places, elephants on drugs, Jesus get-togethers and much more. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @hashtagcerys Visit...


Ep 109: Andrew Ellard - World's Worst Evil Genius

*swivels around in enormous winged chair* Ah, Mr.Podcast Listener, we've been expecting you. The guest in our deadly lair this week is master script editor Andrew Ellard, who joins us on a tour of the most woeful evil geniuses in fact and fiction. Andrew brings an astonishing movie abomination from the 1960s making an absolute hash of the memory of 007. Meanwhile Barry tells the tales of the most dangerous Xhosa tribeswoman ever, the man who amplified Hitler and the scariest quiz...


Ep 108: Dr Rob Cromarty - World's Worst Military Tactic

Quick, march! Into battle we go under the leadership of our general, classicist and quiz-show boffin Dr Rob Cromarty. We're seeking out the world's worst military tactic and you bet we've found a few contenders to skirmish with. There are war elephants galore, French plans that backfire spectacularly and the Pyrrhus behind Pyrrhic victories. Attack! Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @DocCrom Visit www.worstfootforwardpodcast.com for all previous episodes and you...


Ep 107: Dean Rodgers - World's Worst Puzzle

This is an episode for anyone who has become so frustrated with their Rubik's Cube that they've ended up unpeeling the coloured squares and sticking them back on to help you solve it! Joined by incredible escape room auteur Dean Rodgers, Ben and Barry travel from Ancient Greece to musty 90s gamer bedrooms, via the court of King Rudolf of Bohemia and Lewis Carroll's very twisted imagination. By the end of this, you won't look at a black cat, a raven or a fishing rod in the same way...