Idiots On Parade, the Too Ugly for TV Podcast

This week, the Idiots are joined by Brandon Wein. 00:00 Introductions 00:27 Jennifer Lopez 02:51 Donald Trump 15:27 American Airlines 26:56 Tesla 32:18 Fontana Police Department 35:45 Texas Power Grid —Jennifer Lopez had to cancel her tour due to low ticket sales. I mean, to spend time with her family. Right. Like anyone believes that. Sorry, Jen, the arenas were empty. —The former president was found guilty on all 34 counts he’d been charged with. May the world keep turning with no one noticing. Sure, the media calls it a big deal, but who really cares? —Last week, we discussed the fact that scumbag lawyers for American Airlines were trying to blame a 9-year-old girl for the fact one of their flight attendants put a hidden camera in a public restroom. Well, God be praised, something “good” happened: the bad press got American Airlines to fire that legal team. Yes, they only did it because of press, but they did it. Now, may those lawyers rot in hell. Side note: for reasons unknown, we travel down paths of prison reform, the death penalty, Danny Masterson, and Ashton Kutcher. Also, spoiler alert: nathan gives away the entire plot (and twist) of Dead Man Walking, the Sean Penn/Susan Sarandon film. —A crybaby named Michelle Lewis wrote an exceptionally long article on how difficult it was to trade in her old Tesla for a new one. Hey, Michelle… Maybe walk away and buy a different car. Side note: A Big Mac Meal supposedly costs $18, except nobody can seem to replicate that. Inflation and fast food are discussed. —Stop me if you’ve heard this one… A man walks into a police station; “Hey, my dad is missing!” Seventeen hours of non-stop interrogation later, he confesses to murdering his father. But, wait for it, the dad is alive and well, and at an airport, and going on a trip! Well, that’s what happened to Thomas Perez Jr., and now he’s going to get almost a million dollars because of it. Sadly, that million will come from taxpayers, not the Fontana PD retirement fund. Anyway, what an insane story. —The Texas power grid continues to suck. When the outside temperature went up, air conditioners went on, so the power company decided to raise prices 1,600%. Because, you know, “Private industry rules.” Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com #news #politics #jenniferlopez #donaldtrump

This week, the Idiots are joined by Gerry Grothues. 00:00 Introductions 00:48 Viewer Comment 05:09 Harrison Butker 2.0 12:49 Lawyers 19:50 Science! 25:00 Britney, Freed 31:16 Israel/Palestine —We forgot to get to this week, but a viewer wanted to know our thoughts on January 6 when compared to BLM riots and ANTIFA nonsense. He didn’t ask about the idiot students protesting the Israel/Palestine conflict, but we threw it in for fun anyway. —Harrison Butker is doubling down on the dumb, sexist and homophobic comments he made while giving a commencement speech, and our response is… “Yeah, what did you think he was going to do?” There seems to be an idea the internet outrage machine has that if they pout and throw big enough fits, people will have realizations. Nope! Butker was raised to be a backwards-thinking religious nutbag. That doesn’t get changed by yelling at him. The best way to put it is via a meme I saw: “You think CTE is bad? Try having a bible slammed into your head from birth.” Yup. —Lawyers are the worst, we can all agree on that. But did anyone think one would stoop so low as to argue, in a court filing, that a nine-year-old girl, who was subject to a disgusting peeping tom pervert of an American Airlines employee/flight-attendant/male-stewardess, was at fault for not realizing there was a hidden camera in the airplane toilet? I mean, that’s a far throw for even a scumbag lawyer. But, that’s what’s being argued. A nine-year-old girl found a hidden camera in a public restroom, her family is suing (not that they have a right to), and the lawyers are saying, “Well, she should have known there’d be a camera in there, taking pictures of her.” It’s times like that that make me wish I believed in hell, because those lawyers (and anyone at the airline and insurance company who signed off on it) should absolutely spend eternity there. —Men have microplastics in their testicles. I’ll repeat that. Men have microplastics (and nanoplastics, apparently) in their testicles. How do we know this? Well, scientists have been cutting open the testes of cadavers and looking. And they’ve been comparing the plastic in human testes with the plastic in dog testes. WHO FIRST THOUGHT TO DO THIS? What scientist was sitting around, and went, “Hey, you know what we should do…” Well, I suppose it was either that, or becoming a serial killer. So… thanks for choosing science. Weirdo. —Remember the “Free Britney!” movement? Well, she’s free, and… She is not well. Dancing with knives, divorcing, again, and apparently chasing her ex with an axe. Should she have remained under a conservatorship? Probably. But, she’s an adult, albeit an incredibly stupid one, and she can act how she wants. The rest of us can just grab our popcorn and watch. —What? This conflict is still going on? But stupid university kids with no life experience or historical awareness protested! I thought that was supposed to change everything! In today’s round of “Oh just fucking nuke one another and be done with it:” Ireland, Norway, and Spain have all agreed to recognized a Palestinian State. As stated in the video, this is a complex issue. The Palestinians were offered statehood in the past, but turned it down. Should we celebrate the idea they’ve been beaten into submission to the point they’re willing to finally accept it? Or, is giving it now, given the actions of October 7, 2023, rewarding shit behavior? Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com #britneyspears #lawyers #news #currentevents #politics #humor

This week, the Idiots are joined by Wayne Russell, of Open Mic Pain. 00:00 Welcome! 00:44 Harrison Butker 08:10 The Dali Crew 16:44 Puff Daddy 22:10 David Copperfield 25:13 Gordon Black 29:31 Steve Bannon —Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker said dumb things. He’s obviously a dumb person. Why does that outrage people? “Oh no, a sexist and homophobic person spoke his mind!” Isn’t it a good thing to know who the sexist, homophobic neanderthals are? Plus, as Jake rightly points out: he was speaking at a religious college. Everything Butker said is probably part of their backwards curriculum. —Hey, remember when that cargo ship knocked down a bridge in Baltimore? Nah, me neither. It was big news for a couple days, though, right? Well, here we are weeks and weeks later… and the crew has been sitting on the ship this entire time, trapped and bored in the Baltimore Harbor! Who knew? Not us, we’ve moved on to the next few sensationalistic stories. —Oh boy… Sean Puff Daddy P. Diddy Combs is a piece of garbage. That’s all there is to it. I mean, we always knew he was a talentless hack who could cobble together unlistenable songs by sampling more talented artists, but whoa. He’s also an abusive douche who should be in jail. (Prosecutors say he won’t be charged, because of the statute of limitations. Yay.) But, that aside, knowing he’s an abusive jerk who belongs in jail, why does Fox News think we should hear what celebrities think of the newly released Puff Daddy/P. Diddy Sean Combs video? Jake has ideas… —nathan is hung up on terminology here… The news wrote the phrase, “Celebrated magician David Copperfield.” Celebrated? Really? Well, Wayne and Jake think so, and they make a fairly compelling case for it: no basic rabbit-out-of-a-hat fella is getting invited to Jeffrey Epstein’s island. —Staff Sergeant Gordon Black is an interesting fella. Stationed in South Korea, he met a Russian woman, and, being really smart, got into a relationship with her. No thoughts of espionage, no wondering whether or not this was a good idea… Even better, he apparently stayed with her after a physical altercation where she stabbed him. Welp, he’s in jail in Russia, now. Who could have seen this coming? (Everyone. Everyone saw it coming.) —Trump vs. Biden is the rematch no one wanted. And I get it, nobody really wants to vote for Biden. It’s literally, “But look at the alternative.” Well, now there’s a real reason to vote Biden: let’s get Steve Bannon put in jail, and left there. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Welcome! 00:20 Netflix Censors Reality 04:25 Okinawa Air Force 06:14 Beef, It’s What’s Grown in a Lab 15:40 RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm 20:30 Kristi Noem 25:04 Helping the Homeless 29:16 The Taylor Swift Law —Kim Kardashian was booed at the Roast of Tom Brady. Was it because she did a horrible job, or simply because she’s a horrible person? Doesn’t matter, because Netflix edited out the negative feedback she received. Why? Jake has thoughts, and they make a lot of sense. —Interlude: nathan tells a quick story about how he ruined a big surprise Officer’s Wives were excited about. It’s hard to believe The Bachelorette is still a thing, but man… that first season was gangbusters. —The future is here, ladies and gentlemen: scientists are growing meat in labs… But, NOT IN FLORIDA! (All caps = serious business.) That’s right, Ron DeSantis, failed candidate for president and wearer of Ken Doll boots, signed a law that took lab grown meat off the table in America’s dangling wiener. Republicans say they’re the party of “Freedom” and “Individual rights” and “Free Market,” yet more and more often that seems to involve an asterix. (*Freedom and Individual rights do not apply to things Republicans don’t like, especially women’s healthcare.) —The world makes sense again… RFK Jr. had a worm eating his brain. No wonder he says so many idiotic things. —Jake and nathan have a new hero: South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem. What a magnificent politician. Jussie Smollett could’ve used her in his corner. She’s shooting animals, lying about meeting politicians… and all the while, looking like a psychotic member of a Real Housewives show. —Sanai Graden is a good person, who tried to do a good thing. She tried helping a homeless fella, and raised $400,000 for him. Unfortunately, the dude disappeared, most likely due to issues with mental health and/or addiction. We tend to glorify the homeless in America; we pretend all they need is a little nudge in the right direction, and they’d be all good. Sadly, that isn’t the case in a majority of instances. —Ticketmaster is the worst. Full stop. They allow bots to buy all the best seats (some suspect the own the bots, and by the seats themselves in order to pull a better profit off resale sites), and they add fees up the wazoo to every purchase. Well, a legislator in Minnesota had enough, and did something about it. In a good first step toward what should be a federal law, the Taylor Swift law is designed to protect consumers. Hopefully it works. (Sidebar: nathan discusses getting reamed by a rental car company in Costa Rica.) Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com Lab Tech photo by Artem Podrez, via Pexels

This week, comedian Dobie Maxwell joins the idiots for fun and merriment. 00:00 Welcome! 00:32 A Really Smart Comment 04:07 Outrage over the movie The Fall Guy 12:50 Legal Failures 22:32 Influencers 28:49 Rob Marciano, Fired 32:15 New York Times Investigation The breakdown: —People are amusing. You can say something plainly, in their native language, it can be a simple concept, and yet they will find a way to be so dumb they miss the point (and the truth) entirely. Basically, Jake and nathan made very clear statements about the idiot college kids protesting the Israel/Palestine conflict, and someone who was either (a) not paying attention, or (b) is too partisan to see reality, took umbrage. Let’s clear things up, shall we? —It’s one of our favorite topics: the outrage machine! Something (anything) happens, and dumb people react on Twitter. Should they be listened to, or ignored? Ignored, right? And yet, a reporter with no real morals or values knows that clickbait is the most important thing out there, so they round up several tweets by idiots and write the article, “People are Angry!” Well, no one is really angry, and no one should care about the four people who are. As nathan states (too many times) in the video: The Fall Guy is a fun movie. Go see it. (Side note: a quick discussion is also had regarding Elon Musk buying Twitter and then giving it the worst rebrand since New Coke.) —This one is baffling. Prosecutors had slam dunk cases with both Bill Cosby & Harvey Weinstein… AND THEY BOTCHED BOTH OF THEM!! (All caps = serious business.) Come on… how do you screw up so badly that Cosby gets set free, and Harvey gets a conviction overturned. It’s absurd. (Side note: discussions of Russell Simmons taking his money and fleeing the country a la Roman Polanski are had.) —Kim Kardashian promoted a “vampire facial,” where you get your face poked by a needle until you’re covered in your own blood… And that’s supposed to be good for you. Well, two practitioners contracted HIV, so… Good luck with that. (Side note: who knew Logan Paul was behind the energy drink, Prime? I mean, it was a horrible drink to begin with, but seriously: if you’re taking advice from Kim Kardashian or Logan Paul, ya kinda deserve anything bad that happens to you.) —I didn’t know who Rob Marciano was until the story hit that he’d been fired by ABC. Apparently he was a weatherman on Good Morning America, and he had a temper. A weatherman with a temper. There is just something so amusing about that. —Oh, the clickbait headline… Everyone loves it, right? Well, The NY Times had a doozy of one. The clickbait was, “Study shows side effects of COVID vaccine!!!!” Very scary, right? The outcome? .0001% of people have an adverse reaction to the vaccination. So… Yeah. “Ooooh, scary.” Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com Angry Man Photo by Photo by Andrea Piacquadio, via Pexels.

00:00 Welcome! 00:26 George Santos 08:39 Maxwell Azzarello 10:32 Isra Hirsi 22:33 Red State, Blue State 26:12 Elon Musk 33:15 Endangered Species The breakdown: —The man with no shame does it again… George Santos recorded a Cameo for NAMBLA. Well, not NAMBLA proper, they didn’t hire him. Someone hired him as a joke, giving him a script for NAMBLA to see if he’d say he supports the group, and because he’s dumb and greedy, Santos went for it. —Maxwell Azzarello has a fanbase. We should’ve seen it coming… Whenever you discuss someone on the fringes of society, their fellow fringe-thinkers come out in droves. Insult dummies who believe the earth is flat? Flat-earthers arrive with pitchforks. Point out someone who set themselves on fire is insane? Insane people will call his cause just. Which means next week, we’ll have George Santos lovers yelling at us. —Ill-educated students are protesting the Israeli/Hamas conflict. Naturally, Ilhan Omar’s daughter got into the mix, and found herself banned from campus. Ah… to be young and dumb again, taking a multi-layered, complex issue, and breaking it down to black and white, and right and wrong. —Speaking of complex issues turned simple: Greenville, South Carolina, real estate agent Jen Hubbell wants to help your conservative family leave that awful liberal state you live in. By pitching South Carolina as an alternative to the woke agenda, she’s helping overly-partisan people move to a state that’s 42nd in education, and 8th in crime. Division is fun, isn’t it? We need to separate ourselves from one another more. —Headline: TESLA IS TANKING BECAUSE DEMOCRATS HATE ELON MUSK!! Reality: sales are down because now there’s affordable competition. That said, Elon isn’t doing himself any favors by aligning with the dumbest of the dumb on Twitter. —Nancy Teresa Gonzalez de Barberi, founder of the luxury handbag company Gzuniga, is going to jail for 18 months. Why? She was using endangered pythons to make purses. Gross. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, Lisa David Olsen joins the idiots to mock all that’s in the news. 00:00 Welcome! 00:56 Iran vs. Israel 03:33 Trump Owns Republican Party 13:17 Trump media 18:37 Maxwell Azzarello 25:50 Jesus vs. LGBTQ 29:29 Breakdancing in the Olympics The breakdown: —Last week, nathan said it looked like Iran’s “show of force” against Israel was all image, and BOOM! He was right. Iran launched their missiles, then said, “We showed them!” Of course, Israel had to respond to that, because apparently you can’t just take a W in the Middle East, so now we’re kinda in a holding pattern. —This is delicious… The Trump campaign now says that any Republican candidate who runs on Trump’s name… HAS TO PAY ROYALTIES TO THE DONALD. Honestly, we’re stunned he didn’t think of this sooner. It is genius, though. Donald Trump is the name, the face, the everything of the Republican Party, so if you want to associate with him, you should have to give a little kickback to the Donfather. Side conversations in this segment include Arizona’s new abortion law, and how Democrats win in Alabama. —Sure, the stock price of Trump Social (or Truth Social or whatever it is) lost over half its value since being released… but why would Donald care about that? It’s all found money to him. Sure, stupid investors are losing their butts, but that’s just hilarious. Oh, you trusted a Trump business? Trump University, Trump Steaks, Trump Casino, and Trump Airline didn’t give you a heads up as to how all Trump businesses do? Still, when you’re starting with zero, anything above that is a win. So, Trump is technically kicking ass, because it’s all found money. Side conversations here include My Pillow Guy Michael J. Lindell, and his ability to draw more crowds as a speaker than many celebrities. —The best headline I saw regarding conspiracy theorist nutbag Maxwell Azzarello was, “Florida Man Lights Self on Fire.” They had to throw in the Florida part, and God bless them for it. His manifesto showed such a unique brand of crazy, it’s not to be believed. —Churches everywhere are losing members, and more and more often, it’s because they hold antiquated, idiotic views regarding gay people. What does that cost them? Money. A new article showed a breakdown of spending by a Methodist gathering, and funds are dipping. —The Olympics have their finger on the pulse! They are in touch with the zeitgeist. They are allowing breakdancing, which was big in the 1980s, to be a part of the modern games. Well done, Olympics! Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, Anthony Eugenio joins the idiots to mock all that’s in the news. 00:00 Welcome! 01:06 Iran Gets Frisky 11:33 Christians vs. The Eclipse 17:13 Justice by Crime and Country 25:15 Catholics Double Down 30:17 Obesity in America The breakdown: —Hamas attacks Israel. Israel whomps the unholy hell out of the Gaza Strip. Iran thinks that’s no bueno, arms Hezbollah. Israel says, “Oh, F-you,” and bombs the Iranian Embassy in Syria, killing one of Iran’s biggest douchebags, Brigadier General Mohammad Reza Zahedi, and other Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) commanders… and now, Iran has launched a drone attack on Israel. What’s next? I suppose that’s what we’re about to find out… —I wish, I wish, I wish I could find a legitimate source for this next story. According to Reddit—noted home of QAnon and various other wonderful conspiracies—a Christian woman who believed the eclipse was a sign the rapture was upon us, went to a restaurant and tipped generously. And not “50%” generously, several hundred dollars on a $40 bill generous. Aaaaaand, when the rapture didn’t happen, again, she went returned and demanded her money back. Because of course she did. —Italy: come for the pasta, stay for the murder. Amanda Knox was in the news again, so nathan did a little digging… Did you know that Rudy Guede, the man who actually murdered Meredith Kercher, only got a 30-year prison sentence? Even better, he was released early, to finish his sentence doing community service. Seems they’re kinda light on crime there. Meanwhile, over in Vietnam, Truong My Lan was sentenced to death for a white collar crime. Man, God bless Vietnam! Imagine if the U.S.A. had put to death all the douchenozzles behind the economic collapse in 2008? (Or, for that matter, any economic collapse.) —Oh, Catholicism… your numbers are shrinking, and every time people are asked why they’ve left the church, they say, “It’s 2024. People are gay. Get over it.” So, what did the church just do? Double down on their anti-LGBTQ rhetoric. But wait, there’s more! They’ve added surrogacy to the list! Yes, if there’s one thing women love, it’s being told what they can and cannot do with their bodies. —TikTok: it’s where stupid people go to “learn.” Well, anti-diet influencers started telling people to listen to their gut when it came to diet. Eat right and exercise? That’s for losers. Your body will tell you what you’re supposed to eat, and if it’s telling you candy bars and donuts? More power to ya! Oh, and by the way, the food industry is backing these influencers, and you’re gonna gain weight and get fat if you listen to them. Who could have seen this coming? Anyone with an IQ above that of your average potato(e). Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss 00:00 Welcome! 00:44 Eclipse 07:45 Trans Visibility Day 24:10 Oregon Drug Use 31:41 Amazon Grocery Store 35:33 Viewer Comment The breakdown: —Who knew we were still living in the dark ages, where an eclipse would send the dumbest of the dumb into a tizzy? Sure, they’re tracked, which means we know exactly when and where they’re going to happen, but they’re also A SIGN FROM GOD THAT AMERICA IS A SINFUL COUNTRY! —Who is stupider, Marjorie “Jewish Space Lasers” Greene, or the people who support and vote for her? Serious question, because she is just beyond dumb. Before she threw a fit over the eclipse, conservative commentators wet their pants and cried their eyes out because Trans Visibility Day fell on Easter. Most notably, Caitlyn Jenner joined in the chorus of idiots blaming Joe Biden for “declaring” Easter was Trans Visibility Day. —Oregon voted to decriminalize all drugs. How did that work out for them? Not well. Who saw it coming? EVERYBODY. —Amazon was going to revolutionize grocery shopping. You’d walk into a store, grab what you wanted, and walk out. AI and modern technology would keep track of everything and charge your Amazon account, easy-peasy. No clerks, no fuss, no muss. Except it never worked, and now they’re pulling the plug. Turns out, the “technology” was basically a big call center in India, with poorly-paid workers hunched over computer screens, watching footage of shoppers. —We respond to a troll who likes Trump more than reality. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss 00:00 Welcome! 00:36 ISIS Attacks Russia 07:44 Francis Scott Key Bridge 16:16 Trump Bibles for Sale 27:41 Columbia Breaks up with Israel 29:02 Twitter Loses Lawsuit 32:53 Candice Owens Gets Fired The breakdown: —Vladimir Putin wanted the ISIS attack on the Crocus City Hall attack in Moscow to be Ukraine so badly. He still wants Ukraine to be involved. We discuss the joys of living in a police state (dictatorship)—namely the ability to beat the unholy hell out of captured terrorists—as well as the downside—state controlled media. —Six people lost their lives when the Francis Scott Key bridge in Baltimore, Maryland. That tragedy should give people pause to reflect and discuss the event with respectful tones, right? Ha! Not when conservatives (as well as insane people, like Alex Jones and Kevin Sorbo) are involved. Tragedies are meant to be twisted, don’t ‘cha know? What really caused the Dali to hit the bridge? Nothing being spewed by Fox News, that’s for sure. (Side note: the idiots also discuss the stupidest of the stupid among us, QAnon believers, and how they believe conspiracies over the truth every single time.) —The Idiots love Donald Trump. That’s all there is to it. Imagine how beautiful it would be to have insanely loyal followers like he does. He said it himself: he could shoot someone, and his followers wouldn’t bat an eye. And now he’s selling the dumbest of the dumb bibles. —Columbia is done with Israel. Did they break off diplomatic ties? Nah, Columbian president Gustavo Petro sent a Tweet. Well done, Gustavo. —Speaking of Twitter, Elon Musk just lost an obvious lawsuit. He’s a champion for free speech, which is fine, but you can’t be both a champion of free speech, and cry foul when it’s pointed out that hate speech increased under your watch. When you allow the worst of the worst to spew their stupid on Twitter, don’t be surprised when you’re called out. Elon tried to sue the Center for Countering Digital Hate, and because facts matter (sometimes), the case was tossed. Go justice. —What kind of world do we live in where two hate-filled people can’t get along and hate together? Ben Shapiro and Candice Owens are perfect together on paper. So, Ben hired Candice to spread garbage on his garbage site, The Daily Wire, but for reasons unknown to the outside world, they couldn’t make it work. Oh well. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss 00:00 The Supreme Court, Immigration 06:28 The Supreme Court, Cowboys for Trump 09:55 Princess Kate follow up 11:44 Trump Takes Over the RNC 18:14 Insurance in the USA 27:16 Julia Reel vs. The Hubbard Inn 35:18 Student Debt Forgiveness & Ozempic Babies The breakdown: —The Supreme Court let a lower court’s ruling stand, stating Texas could act independent of the federal government, and deal with immigrants crossing their border. This caused a second lower court to say, “No, Texas can’t!” which means it’s gonna get kicked back up to SCOTUS. Meanwhile, Republicans continue to run on the border problem, which they could have ended, had they voted for the border bill they wrote. It’s quite fascinating. —Couy Griffin, a New Mexico resident who founded “Cowboys for Trump,” was kicked off a ballot for public office. “But SCOTUS said Trump couldn’t be kicked off ballots!” he argued. True, but Trump wasn’t convicted of being involved in an insurrection. Griffin was. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. —Well, we certainly hope that everyone involved with freaking out about Princess Kate being MIA feels bad right now. The poor woman (mom) has cancer. Leave her be, why don’t ya? —This is pretty amazing: Donald Trump is being honest. He’s taken over the RNC, and is now openly telling donors that their money will first be put to use paying his legal bills… and THEN used to get Republicans elected to office. And yet, people still throw money at him, the “billionaire.” Amazing. (Side discussions of the idiotic Republican impeachment hearings against Biden take place here.) —Insurance giant State Farm is going to stop insuring some homes in California. Other insurance companies don’t cover squat in Florida. Yeah, that’s insurance. They want to take your money, and they don’t want to pay out. So if you live in a (say it with me) high risk area, they’re either going to charge you massive premiums, or not cover you. That’s the game. (Side discussions of Don Lemon interviewing Elon Musk take place here.) —Julia Reel got kicked out of the Hubbard Inn (a Chicago based bar & restaurant), and wasn’t happy about it. She went on TikTok, made a video claiming she’d been thrown down the stairs, and it went viral. Well, “Not so fast,” said the Hubbard Inn, and then posted security footage of their staff being completely respectful to the newly nicknamed “Julia Smollett.” The Hubbard Inn is fighting back with a lawsuit against Julia. Can’t wait to see how it plays out. —And in closing… More student debt is being forgiven, and women supposedly on birth control are getting pregnant if they take Ozempic. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss: 00:00 Princess Catherine 08:41 James and Jennifer Crumbly are guilty 21:57 Fani Willis 28:23 COVID vaccinations and political parties 34:57 Aaron Bushnell The breakdown: —Princess Catherine, is she alive, is she dead? Who knows? The Shadow? Who knew a simple photoshop could turn into a massive, silly and stupid scandal. And most importantly, why in God’s name does anyone care? —Hopefully we’re making headway when it comes to gun violence. Who is responsible for raising a garbage kid? The parents. Well, now two parents in Michigan, the parents of Ethan Robert Crumbley, have been found guilty of involuntary manslaughter. Good. (Side discussions of Alex Jones, Kanye West, and Cardi B take place here.) —Trump is on trial in Georgia, and though he’s guilty, guilty, guilty, focus was taken off the case because Fani Willis and Nathan Wade couldn’t not get naked with one another. —Republicans are dying from COVID at a much higher rate than Democrats. Why? Because they believe the vaccinations are full of microchips, blood clotting agents, and whatever else they’ve been told to believe by Newsmax, Fox, and OAN. It’s pretty funny, actually. (Side discussions of Trump flip-flopping on banning TikTok here.) —Want to protest something? Light yourself on fire! Will your idiot move change anything? Nope! But hey, maybe you’ll get a street named after you! Winning! Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss 00:00 President Biden’s State of the Union address, as well as the insane response by Kate Britt. 08:53 A German fella decided to get the COVID vaccine 217 times. He needs a new hobby. 13:30 Liberal cities are finally tackling crime… in an election year. Shocking! 18:26 Immigration… Republicans tanked a bill they wrote. Why? 22:22 Marjorie Taylor Greene, one of the dumbest people on the planet, is also a hypocrite. Shocking! 30:35 A Texas mom is in trouble, but should she be? 34:04 Madonna: just how weak is her ego? Specific discussions include: —The unhinged fears of the left and right. Conservatives freak out over immigration, but don’t seem to care about gun violence, or women’s reproductive rights. At the same time, liberals are so concerned with language use, idiots like Ilham Omar started crying the instant Biden used the term “illegal alien” (or immigrant, I forget) to describe an illegal immigrant. (Even worse, social media algorithms fear language of all sorts.) —If the COVID vaccination is so deadly, then why is the German fella who took it nonstop for two years fine ’n’ dandy? —Jake is suspicious, and probably right. New York City and San Francisco are both changing their ineffective stances on crime. Is it because they’ve finally realized that letting criminals run riot doesn’t work for anyone, or is it because it’s an election year, and Democrats know they’re gonna get hammered on crime? (Even though rates everywhere (except Oakland, CA) are declining.) —Immigration: Republicans demanded a border bill. Then they wrote one. Democrats said, “We’ll vote for it!” and Biden said, “I’ll sign it.” So, did Republicans pass it? Of course not. If they had, they couldn’t use immigration as a scare tactic and garner votes from dumb people. —MTG… she tries to say reality is a conspiracy theory (“Election 2020 was stolen!”) while propping up the most outlandish, hateful, anti-semitic conspiracies herself. And when confronted? She lashes out. Because that’s what horrible people do. —Is Jennifer Lynn Rossi a great mom, or a dumb one? She exacted revenge on her son’s bully, and in a clever way. But the story is vague… We’ll explain how/why. —Madonna… instead of allowing people to enjoy her concert in their own way, she has to ask why one person is sitting down, only to discover the person is in a wheelchair. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

Voters in Michigan wanted to send a message, and send a message they did. Over 100,000 people shouted loud and proud, “We don’t know anything about history, we’re not smart, but we are passionate about the nonsense we believe!” Or, to put it another way, 100,000 Democrats acted like Democrats. Good job, dummies. Your protest vote was done in an echo chamber. You must be the reason for all those gross step-sibling videos on adult websites, since you isolate from information the same way the royal family isolates their genetic structure. Following that, a whole slew of nonsense to make fun of: Lauren Boebert is in the news, but not because she gave another guy a handy in public. No. The woman who screams about “family values” and Hunter Biden, and has been arrested herself, is going through a messy divorce involving a restraining order and separated husband arrest… Just watched her son get arrested and charged with 22 crimes. It’s glorious, and deserving. Also: Mary Poppins is a hateful, horrible movie full of racial slurs, Texas Tech DB Tyler Owens shows the world he’s one of the stupidest people out there, and Kamila Grabska, of Ireland, lost almost a million dollars in an insurance scam after she forgot to pretend to be injured… And entered a Christmas tree throwing competition. Oh, and a quick touch on student debt forgiveness. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

Comedian Johnny Mocny joins the Idiots do discuss everything in the news, starting with the fun of cancel culture. Several comedians—Jim Florentine, Luis Gomez, Dave Smith, and Kurt Metzger—were fired by a Seattle comedy club, because “local advocacy groups” took issue with the concept of free speech. Well, that’s not what they said, but that’s the fact of the matter. Instead of letting adults decide what they’d like to see, they said, “Naughty jokes make woke people sad, so you’re fired.” The first chunk of the podcast is dedicated to the hypocrisy of the comedy club. Following that, the best news story of all time: a man so deeply afraid of gay people is also, color no one surprised, also one of the stupidest people on the planet. Believing Canada too liberal a country, he moved his family to Russia… …where it was immediately discovered what an immensely moronic mistake that was. Ah, it’s delicious when bad things happen to deserving people. Speaking of stupid people, YouTube finance guru Caleb Hammer had to deal with the second dumbest person on the planet: someone into both cryptocurrency AND astrology. And, even better, he used the movement of the planets to determine his trading habits. (Guess what: he lost all his money.) Finally: Biden is forgiving student debt again. Oddly enough, it didn’t seem to anger people this time. Which is good, but confusing. I thought outrage over nothingburgers is what they did best. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

Jon Stewart is back! On Monday, February 12, The Daily Show had its oldest, longest tenured, and best host back. And he was great. He took on hypocrisy and stupidity on all sides… …so naturally, crybaby Democrats were upset, because no one should point out Biden’s failings. Also: When you’re famous, you can fail all you want, and people will still throw money at you. Case in point, Meghan Markel has signed a contract for her already-failed-once podcast. Speaking of failure… The Tesla Cybertruck—the ugliest vehicle in existence—is rusting. Which is good, because if you were dumb enough to buy one, you deserve everything that goes wrong with it. In bigger news: the FBI has indicted the Republican’s hero informant. The claims we all knew were false regarding the Biden crime syndicate fell apart faster than cotton candy in water. Not that that will make a difference to dumb people. They’ll still believe whatever they want, because anger is easier than information. Finally: immigrants scammed the Church of England, Republicans botched a border bill, and Lyft exposed the stock marked as a place rife with stupid. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

Oh, Joe… What are you so afraid of? The Super Bowl is the most watched TV show of the year, every year, and yet you refuse to be interviewed before it. The size and scope of the audience… all you have to do is be coherent, nail a few talking points, and you could win a few votes. But nope. Hitting talking points is apparently something you can’t do. I mean, why else would a sitting president not take a huge opportunity to get his message out to the people? Also: Nevada had a primary, and Nikki Haley lost to “None of the above.” That’s gotta sting. Also: Bill Maher won’t air his interview with Kanye West, because he fears (knows) that Kanye is charismatic enough to appeal to the stupidest of stupid people, Jussie Smollett wants his conviction overturned, and con artist Eli Regalado made $1.3 million by selling worthless crypto currency to morons, because he’s a pastor and “God” told him to defraud people. Or, at least, that was his story last week. Now, Eli admits he may have “misheard” God. (But he’s probably not giving any of the money back, regardless.) Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

In the movie L.A. Story, weatherman Steve Martin (or, realistically, Steve Martin’s weatherman character) pre-records his broadcast… …and gets it wrong. Well, that’s what we’re doing right now. The Idiots are recording one week in advance, because nathan (as this airs) is in Costa Rica. Supposedly, the resort is surrounded by monkeys. Hopefully this is true, and they are habituated to humans. (If not, nathan will return a damaged man.) The breaking news (as we record) is the tragic death of 3 U.S. soldiers in Jordan. Many more were injured, and it’s time to retaliate. nathan thinks we should bomb Iran directly; Jake isn’t so sure, but this morning General Westley Clark chimed in and also called for a direct bombing of Iran. By the time we record again, something will have happened. Will we be in the middle of WW3? Who knows? Also: the Republicans have offered absolutely nothing in the way of legislation since taking control of the House of Representatives. Are Democrats shouting that from the rooftops? Of course not. Democrats are horrible at messaging. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

Shocking news: Republicans and Democrats are close to agreement on a comprehensive bill that would overhaul immigration and add safety and security at the Southern border. Not shocking news: Republicans might tank the vote, because then they can campaign by yelling, “Immigrants are coming!” and scare dumb people. Also: the Navy lowered its recruitment standards, causing Jake to tell tales of his time in the military. And: are lab grown diamonds worthless? Yes, but only because all diamonds are worthless. By the time this airs, we’ll know what happens, but as I type: GO LIONS! Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the idiots begin by discussing what’s bound to be the biggest comeback of all time: print media. Basically, Sports Illustrated is dying, and while many are blaming the fact they went “woke” with their hiring of unorthodox women for the swimsuit issue, Jake has other ideas. They also discuss the hard-hitting, effects-everyone’s-life issues like Taylor Swift being shown cheering on her boyfriend at NFL games, and the fact the Emmys ratings hit another new low. Following that, light topics, such as Teslas dying during cold weather and China being inhospitable to foreigners are tackled. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com