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The Gonarch's Lair Podcast

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From the relative safety of Gonarch's Lair comes a podcast that will take you on an anecdotal and nostalgic romp through video game history. Cheap laughs and disputable facts guaranteed. BYOB.

From the relative safety of Gonarch's Lair comes a podcast that will take you on an anecdotal and nostalgic romp through video game history. Cheap laughs and disputable facts guaranteed. BYOB.
More Information

Location:

United Kingdom

Description:

From the relative safety of Gonarch's Lair comes a podcast that will take you on an anecdotal and nostalgic romp through video game history. Cheap laughs and disputable facts guaranteed. BYOB.

Language:

English


Episodes

Episode 47: The Rise and Fall of Timcop the Shill

8/29/2019
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Join us lounging by our Xen Healing Pool and surrender to the temptation of a refreshing soak, dip your toes and trust the restorative waters to wash away those suspiciously sweaty summer exploits; then towel off alongside Tim, a first-timer on the show, who has agreed to feature in this month’s episode exclusively to prove his existence. Our hectic headliners commence the first part of this temporal trip by reading a message from one of our most respected raconteurs, before playing the two...

Duration:01:33:22

Episode 47.5: A Diamond in the ROM

8/29/2019
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The possibilities are endless in the second part of this foreigner focussed foray, as Tim confronts the infamous interrogation faced by all past inmates of the Lair; the erudite detainee endures an oppressive onslaught of questioning unperturbed, deflecting verbal attacks with aplomb as the incompetent inquisitors insist on interpretations of their inane hypotheticals: his Desert Island games and video game persona choices, his character creation stat and the historical figures or...

Duration:01:53:50

Episode 46.5: Oh, the Humanity!

7/30/2019
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In the second part of this inconsequential sequence, our lint lickers lumber to Lair 2.0 to play three arcade games for this month’s Gonarch’s Player: Trojan, Rod-Land, and Street Fighter: The Movie. While gaming we strive to stifle familiar frustrations by talking about Glastonbury, the Lambton Worm, WD40, The Addams Family, Dutch furniture moving solutions, Saint George, and visits to the tip; we receive a brainteaser from Inspector Fogg, list some famous rods, and we discuss the ideal...

Duration:02:29:24

Episode 46: The Golden Piñata

7/30/2019
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Dry your eyes darling Headcrabs, for our venerable vagrants have returned from their summer recess to take up residence in the all-new Lair 4.0; by delivering a dose of revitalised vigor, they aspire to redeem this atrophying podcast. We kick off an essentially themeless episode with a belated and brief E3 chat, covering their handpicked highlights: Xbox Scarlett, Watch Dogs: Legion, Gods & Monsters, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild 2, The Outer Worlds, Hollow Knight: Silksong,...

Duration:01:42:33

Episode 45: The Wise Guys

5/24/2019
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Fellow facehuggers, you are formally invited to hound our hostile hosts through this 40th anniversary appreciation of the birth of the most iconic sci-fi horror franchise of all time; the first act features the quarter pumpers paying a passing visit to Lair 2.0 to play three games set in the Alien universe: Alien vs. Predator arcade, Alien 3 on the Mega Drive, and Aliens arcade. Our chestbursters are then accompanied in their airlocked abyss by Simon to discuss Travel Man, My Dad Wrote a...

Duration:01:46:53

Episode 45.5: Team Hicks

5/24/2019
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In the 45th and a half part of the podcast that comes mostly once a month, mostly, our sufferers of space madness set out on an elongated lark through the multimedia associated with Aliens not aliens; the extraterrestrial extroverts expatiate extensively by examining all of the games associated with the Alien franchise, the cartoons and toy lines, and the feature-length movies including the 6 fan-made shorts that were released to mark such a momentous milestone. During this tolerance test...

Duration:02:18:30

Episode 44: Tacon, Lettuce, and Bomato

4/28/2019
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The year has sprung spring, and witnessing a refreshing return to the season of rebirth has galvanised our enigmatic entertainers, who have endeavoured to qualify this questionable concoction as an Easter special for each and every elegant Eggcrab. We implore you to impetuously immerse yourselves in the inane incantation of three rabid rogues, for the initial part of this naturally nebulous episode as they discuss Jedi: Fallen Order, World War Z, Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, Days Gone,...

Duration:01:17:41

Episode 44.5: Hot Cross Fun

4/28/2019
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The second part of this riotous rite is fundamentally flooded by a roughly relevant Gonarch’s Player, which features Ross and Thom playing three retro games: Chuckie egg, Rabbit Punch, and Super 3D Noah’s Ark. The troubling troika creatively cram the remaining recording with discussions about Headspace, Clint Mansell, Sexy Parodius, Tommy Walsh, submariners, Rag’n’Bone Man, Family Fortunes, James Bond, Baileys, and various Chris Evans productions; we decide on how we would like our carcasses...

Duration:01:46:30

Episode 43: The Contaminated Conception

3/30/2019
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Welcome mummy’s boys and girls, to the joint mother's day and climate change special! The polluted pair were persuaded to pay tribute to all of those Gonarchs out there, whilst simultaneously highlighting the unseasonably warm weather we have experienced recently; the byproduct of their comeuppance is this, our most tenuously themed show to date. During this maternal meander we talk about Battlefield V’s Firestorm mode, Darksiders, Back 4 Blood, Nex Machina, Thunder Force, Tetris 99, and the...

Duration:01:13:49

Episode 43.5: Labour, Loving, or Lair?

3/30/2019
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In the second part of this laborious limp, Ross and Thom play three topical games on the Sega Mega Drive: Captain Planet and the Planeteers, Mick and Mack: Global Gladiators, and Decap Attack, while talking about Netflix’s War of the Worlds, stealth fries, Yogi Bear, Virgin Interactive Entertainment, Tarot Cards, Junior, Yellowstone National Park, and Jennifer Connolly; the producer recycles some leftover puns, we receive a message from El Chappo that could once and for all reveal their...

Duration:01:26:38

Episode 42: Open Season

2/27/2019
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Sexually suggestive salutations to you, our horny little Headcrabs, as you join our shriveled seducers in their most offensive episode to date: the highly anticipated sex games special. The first salacious slice of this gratuitous grind features our deviants devouring some candidly crass communications from our most provocative fans, before discussing Crackdown 3, RDR2 Gun Rush, Apex Legends, Space Megaforce, Transistor, Final Fight 3, Resident Evil 2, Half-Life VR, and the rumours of new...

Duration:01:10:18

Episode 42.5: The Pink Flamingo Hotel

2/27/2019
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Grab the tissues and lotion in preparation for the second part of this impotent installment as, in tribute to the month of love-making, the damsels in distress reconvene in Lair 2.0 to play three topical games in a lust laden Gonarch’s Player: Sex Vixens From Space, Sex Olympics, and Sextimates. Following that floundering foreplay, our moist mates moan about Eurotrash, John Ronson, ASMR, PaymoneyWubby, The Ward, Paul Calf, glory holes, Pauline Calf, The Rats, Fonejacker, erotic aids and...

Duration:02:15:25

Episode 41: Totally Chill Xmas Spesh part 1 ~ Just Say Snow

12/23/2018
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Accompany our ardent anchors as they inaugurate the fourth annual Yuletide interlude before finding themselves confined in the discomfort of Lair 3.0, encumbered by the plastic carcasses of ancient console conflict, and constrained by a convivial keeper who coerces our comrades to contend with a trio of topical computer games. In part one of this blizzard of blisters the three wise men talk about the N.E.R.D. Challenge, RetroN HD, Raspberry Pi, Dan Houser, and Your Commodore or Commodore...

Duration:01:40:14

Episode 41: Totally Chill Xmas Spesh part 2 ~ Operation Phase-Out

12/23/2018
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In part two of this year’s serene seasonal sleigh ride, Thom and Kelly exploit a chance encounter by playing Lethal Weapon on the SNES for an exclusive edition of the Gonarch’s Player while talking about occasional candles, Jason and his Technicolour Dreamcoat, Buck’s Fizz, I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, mulled wine, Legends of Tomorrow, and Philip Schofield; we share our experience of London’s Winter Wonderland, review Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds Live, and we shamelessly promote our...

Duration:01:55:05

Episode 41: Totally Chill Xmas Spesh part 3 ~ Posse Galore

12/23/2018
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Our naughty boys bring this cathartic cruise to a close in the third and final part, by methodically meandering through a list of their favoured visual entertainment experiences of 2018, randomly ranked in a tranquil top ten before being shared with the listener in a generally gleeful groove; we reveal our patented method for dynamic media adsorption, one of the little helpers suffers from ‘residual cockney’, and we have a trademarked Gonarch’s Lair speed round. We also talk about Red Dead...

Duration:01:29:45

Episode 40: Ballistic Bum Vomit

11/28/2018
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Life commences in crisis for our middle-aged masters of mayhem, as they grudgingly gather for a John Carpenter special; being one of the most versatile visionaries in the entertainment industry, and a personal hero of ours, J.C. has earned an entire episode devoted to his profusely prolific production. In this troubled trip our useless slashers discuss South Shield’s Drive-In Cinema, Rainbow Six: Siege censorship, The Quiet Place, Dead Cells, Slayer, Red Dead Redemption 2 reactions, Covert...

Duration:01:47:01

Episode 40.5: Movies of the Mind

11/28/2018
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Obey and consume the second chapter of this composed compendium, as our damned deviants directly assault the audience’s audio processors with passionate parlance; temporarily escaping their excruciating existence to exchange chatter, chronicling the many games and movies John Carpenter has been credited for partaking in the creation of whilst discussing Rowdy Roddy Piper, Goblin, The Norm MacDonald Show, Ubre Blanca, Dario Argento, War of the Worlds Live, Between Two Ferns, Buckethead, J.C’s...

Duration:01:57:00

Episode 39: Hallowe’en Special part 1 ~ Moon Lads

10/30/2018
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Happy Howl-O-Ween dear Headcrabs, take shelter this frightful night with our hirsute harem in their dog-eared den and witness our third annual abominable abortion; this year we turn our attention to werewolves, delving deeply into the origin of the legend including how one becomes, cures, or kills these canine catastrophes. In the first part of this bumper bestial batch the pestilent pack discuss Apostle, Platinum Trophies, The Haunting of Hill House, Anders Breivik, Maniac, and one of the...

Duration:01:10:06

Episode 39: Hallowe’en Special part 2 ~ Bloom of the Wolfbane

10/30/2018
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In part second of three our cursed company continue their punitive prowl through this lycan laden instalment by playing Werewolf: Last Warrior on the NES, while covering all the recent gaming news including the Battlefield V open beta, Black Ops 4, Red Dead Redemption 2 hype, Nioh, Streets of Rage 4, Dead Cells, World War Z, cross-play, the PlayStation Classic, and THQ Nordic’s acquisition spree; we ponder on Microsoft’s reveal of Xbox All Access, the concept of game influencer credit, and...

Duration:01:04:49

Episode 39: Hallowe’en Special part 3 ~ The Beast Without

10/30/2018
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Raise your hackles and bear your teeth for a rough start to the third and final part of this rabid ramble, as our comical clan wearily rally to review every werewolf themed TV show, movie, and video game while discussing Stephen King, ellipsoid graphics, Alice Cooper, the Best Makeup Academy Award, Adult Swim, and our favourite transformation scenes; there are some dynamic puns, Ross shares his 13 Tracks of Spookdom playlist, and Simon tests our host’s knowledge with a typically tricky...

Duration:02:28:00