The Luke and Pete Show

Pete went to Las Vegas for WrestleMania and disgraced himself by not drinking or gambling enough. He got a hat, though. Swings and roundabouts. Meanwhile, the balustrade saga continues. Pete reckons he’s at least earned the right to have a go at this project and we promise to keep you posted on his progress. Plus, Luke’s got beef with certain musical solos and overlong albums. Looking at you, Tupac. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Lime bikes are being rolled out! Big news for a man (Luke) who’s racked up an incredible number of kilometres on the current ones. There’s also some information coming out of Major League Baseball which brings to mind Pete’s famous “infant chip bowl helmet” idea. For newer listeners, those words will be explained. Finally, Luke reads aloud a letter written by a young Peter to his parents. What happens at orchestra camp stays at orchestra camp. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mr Donaldson's about to turn 45 and frankly Luke is shocked he made it this far. Before the big day, though, he’s off to WrestleMania in Vegas. Fingers crossed he runs into Kash Patel. Today’s show is an animal-heavy one, as Luke and Pete exchange stories about well-endowed donkeys and investigate recent happenings surrounding the world’s oldest land animal, Jonathan the Tortoise. The late, great Harambe gets a mention, too. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete’s been using an angle grinder and it’s made his cabin smell awful. Luke’s son is reassuring him that he hasn’t done a poo. All is right in the world. Today’s topics include the natural beauty of Norfolk, the deaths of Margaret Thatcher and Osama Bin Laden and the wonders of what3words. Don’t die in an embarrassing quadrant, whatever you do. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete’s got a new project and it’s nearly claimed his life already. It involves walls, glass, vans and a great deal of calamity. Before any of that, though, there’s a more serious matter to attend to: what defines “European-strength” pornography? Also on today’s episode, we've got exploding appendixes and plenty of listener correspondence, including a new potential segment titled “Earnest or Irritating?” Mr Donaldson will decide whether an influencer’s output is essentially likable and sincere or jarring and cynical. Get your suggested subjects in. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Under the microscope this fine Monday: the land of the free and the home of the brave. Luke and Pete discuss the recent passing of Robert Mueller, Kash Patel’s shoes and pink hair in the FBI. Staying on the subject of the US of A, Mr Moore has a challenge for Mr Donaldson. Can he name any ten American men? There’s literally only one way to find out. Plus, we’ve got a new mission for you, the listener. How accurately (or inaccurately) is your profession typically depicted in the media? Get in touch. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today’s show, Luke laments the inherent meekness of the British and their aversion to revolution. Thank God for a new set of golf clubs to lift his spirits a bit. Pete, meanwhile, is getting stuck in the long grass of naming conventions and the business of double-barrelling. We’ve also got a bizarrely-decorated hard hat to investigate and the origin of a nickname to explain. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If Luke and Pete were to leave the studio to find they’re suddenly the only people left on the planet, what would the strategy be? Minor spoiler: primates and Lime Bikes would be involved. Also up for discussion are parking tickets, jarring tonal shifts in hip-hop and an email about bubbly water. Plus, we find out what Pete was up to in the 90s. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Remember when you used to get fat footballers? Luke and Pete do. On today’s episode, the guys discuss the sartorial choices of football fans of the past and present, as well as those of golfers and middle-aged men more generally. Not only that, but there’s an offering for the Battery Robot and some big news concerning Afroman. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The trailer for SNL UK is out and Luke and Pete are sticking to their original predictions vis à vis its quality. But there’s bigger fish to fry on this fine Monday because video game faces have been yassified and, $80 billion later, the Metaverse is dead. Elsewhere, Luke shouts out Denis Norden and David Niven’s wartime pasts and Pete gives his thoughts on contemporary British and Irish stars of the screen. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke’s distaste for what he calls “wet music” might have ruined a recent night out, but his negativity is no match for Pete’s beef with a certain Instagram content creator. Also on today’s agenda: robots on mental health walks, video game discussions and a massive question of the day from Mr Moore: "why are we acting like WWIII isn’t already happening?" Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete might have cracked the code to weight loss, everyone. But will the solution give him bad pumps? Only time will tell. Elsewhere on today’s episode, the guys reminisce/have flashbacks about the time Pete was rescued by a lifeguard named Abraham and Luke brings a meat shower to the table. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cryptids. Ever heard of them? Well, they get everywhere. Including Hartlepool, it turns out. Today’s edition of the Luke and Pete show moves from the cryptozoological to the regular kind of zoological when chimpanzees become the focus of the discussion. Trigger warning: includes details of a brutal real-life chimp attack. This is not one for the squeamish. But there’s a nice chaser in store: Pete’s “sexy” MSN pranks. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete’s been off on his holidays again, this time to Moldova and the breakaway republic of Transnistria. And he didn’t even get as pissed as he could have. Staying on the theme of states and nations, Luke and Peter touch on the war in the Middle East and how certain Dubai residents have reacted to it. And on an entirely different note, there’s a good amount of potty training chat. Truly something for everybody in this episode. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke is in the purgatory of British house-buying — a process his Wife He Has Access To finds baffling when you can apparently just kick a door in and claim land in Connecticut. Plus, Pete has been dragged into a six-quid Vinted dispute over some trousers that were definitely brown in the photo and has emerged victorious, slightly guilty, heartfelt hospital stories and a new genre of music called Egg Punk — *basically* as it sounds. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome, intrepid podcast traveller - good to have you with us. Let Pete regale you with tales of a near-death experience involving a 25-minute walk, getting a blister while dodging a man carrying a slab of MDF, and fancifully thinking about taking up boxing. We've all been there. Elsewhere, Luke continues to beat Pete at chess and will not let him forget it. Plus, retro video games we'll never finish, debating whether Pete Hegseth's bench press is impressive and Luke witnessing a catastrophically cringe question asked in front of a thousand people. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A former US President said that aliens exist! More on this story right here on LAPS. In other news, Battery Robot has returned to the fold, Luke’s getting into chess and Tommy Robinson is still a horrible grifter. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Monday everyone. What better way to start the week than with some allegorical analysis of 1986’s Top Gun? Also on today’s menu: framemogging, Sci-Fi literature, hot tamales and, crucially, supermarket biscuits. Pete reckons this thing goes all the way to the top. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete contend with some of the grim realities of the ruling classes on both sides of the pond. In unfortunate news for Peter, a truly dreadful man shares his passion for the Toyota Century. There’s also some ice bath chat, a big battery submission and a brief look back at Pete’s dating history. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the agenda today: Maxïmo Park, tight trousers and the appendages they disguise (or don’t disguise) and the astonishing number of famous people produced by one small Scottish town. Plus, we have a look at a beautiful radio owned by Luke’s grandad and find out what Pete’s father makes of AI. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.