YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship

Autism is not a childhood disease. It's not something we catch, acquire in childhood, or grow out of — and the science on this has been clear for decades. In this episode I'm responding directly to the current conversation about what autism is and isn't, and setting the record straight with research, personal experience, and 20+ years of working in this field. I cover what autism actually looks like across the lifespan, what the DSM-5 levels mean in real terms, and why the push to find a "cure" fundamentally misunderstands what autism is. I also speak honestly to families who are struggling at the more profound end of the spectrum — because their experience is real and deserves to be part of this conversation too. Autism is a lifelong, hereditary, natural variation of the human brain. And our world wouldn't be where it is without it. Follow the show so you never miss an episode. ➔ Watch on YouTube ➔ Read the blog: Autism Isn’t a Childhood Disease—It’s Time We Embrace Neurodiversity at Every Age ➔ Free quizzes, assessments & resources at jodicarlton.com

Neurodivergence has been framed as something to fix for far too long—and that framing is doing real harm. In this bonus episode, I'm talking about the neurodiversity paradigm shift: moving away from a deficit-based model and toward understanding neurological differences as natural variations in the human brain, not personal failures. I share the research, the language that's holding us back, and the personal moment that started my own journey: sitting in a workshop and realizing—with chills—that the speaker was describing my daughter. When we stop trying to fix neurodiversity and start understanding it, everything changes: our relationships, our communities, and how we see ourselves. 👉 Watch this episode on YouTube 👉 Read the blog: A New Perspective on Neurodiversity: Understanding Differences Without Judgment 👉 Free assessments and resources

Neurodivergent parenting comes with a kind of exhaustion that's hard to explain—and even harder to admit. As an ADHD mom with an autistic daughter and an ADHD son, I've lived every stage of it: the sensory overwhelm and specialist appointments in the early years, IEP battles and school advocacy in the middle years, and the delicate push toward independence as your kids grow into adulthood. If you've ever felt like you're running on empty, or wondered if any of this gets easier, this one is for you. Part personal story, part permission slip. Follow the show so you never miss an episode! 👀 Watch this episode on YouTube 👉 Read the blog: Hey Mama, I See You — Navigating The Exhaustion of Parenting a Neurodivergent Child

"You don't look autistic." Four words that might seem like a compliment but can deeply invalidate an autistic person's identity and lived experience. In this bonus episode, I'm unpacking why these well-meaning comments are actually microaggressions: small, accumulating emotional paper cuts that affect not just autistic individuals, but their partners, families, and friends too. I'm drawing from 20+ years in the field and my own experience raising an autistic daughter to explain how outdated stereotypes, confirmation bias, and gaps in professional training lead to widespread misdiagnosis and dismissal. I'm also diving into masking—why autistic people learn to mask, and the real cost it carries. Autism doesn't have a look, but it does deserve to be seen. 💙 ➔ Watch this episode on YouTube ➔ Read the blog post: "You Don't Look Autistic": Microaggressions and the Problem with Stereotypes

In Part 2 of Jodi’s conversation with Jana and Matt, they zoom in on what helps neurodiverse couples move from “you’re doing it wrong” to clear, workable requests. They unpack why old scripts keep running even after growth, and how slowing down helps you rewrite the narrative together. Jana shares two practical accommodations that changed everything: adjusting seasoning so everyone can eat comfortably, and normalizing separate sleep spaces to protect deep rest. Matt explains why requests land differently than criticism—and how problem-solving as a team strengthens connection, trust, and day-to-day ease. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4jRU5eTjBAQ Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

Hard conversations have a way of showing up late at night—right when one partner wants to talk it through and the other needs space. In Part 1 of my conversation with Jana (an ADHD resilience coach) and her husband, Matt (a neurotypical engineer), we unpack the “thinker/feeler” dynamic, nervous system dysregulation, and the pursuer–retreater cycle that can keep couples stuck. You’ll hear the practical tools that helped them shift the pattern, including active listening, pausing for your “best self,” and a surprisingly effective strategy: recording tough conversations to spot misunderstandings and reset the narrative. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/fqSeYWbrnCc Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

When emotions run high, meltdowns happen, and communication breaks down, what helps neurodiverse couples stay connected? In Part 2 of this conversation, Randall and Ashley share how they’ve learned to manage overload, communicate through shutdowns, and rebuild calm after conflict. Ashley explains how Jodi’s “I’m okay” mantra helps her separate Randall’s emotions from her own, while Randall describes the tools that help him prevent meltdowns—like weighted blankets, routines, and clear recovery time. Together, they reveal how empathy, preparation, and boundaries create safer connection and a stronger marriage. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LR3i_mUUiPQ Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

Holidays, routines, and even dishwashers can test any couple—but for neurodiverse partners, those differences can feel magnified. In this episode, Jodi talks with Randall and Ashley about what they’ve learned since discovering Randall’s autism and how it’s changed their relationship for the better. They share simple but powerful tools—like Jodi’s “2-or-10” scale for deciding what’s worth energy, and the “I’m okay” mantra that helps calm emotional overload. Together, they show how curiosity, communication, and empathy can make all the difference in a neurodiverse relationship. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/aGgmicw8wu4 Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

The holidays can be stressful for any couple—but for neurodiverse partners, surprises, travel, and changes in routine can make the season especially tough. In this short bonus episode, Jodi shares a sneak peek from her upcoming interview with Randall and Ashley Rowland, who open up about what makes holidays challenging for them and the “plan B” strategies that keep things calm and connected. It’s just 9 minutes long, and it might make your holidays a little easier too. Watch this bonus episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8AztxuKAFjQ Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships Get access to Jodi's Holiday Stress Buster Toolkit for Neurodiverse Couples and learn practical tools to help your holidays run smoothly.

When you first realize that autism or ADHD is part of your relationship, it’s so common to encounter “doomsday” narratives online—stories that make neurodiverse couples feel destined for disconnection. In this episode, Mike and Amy are back for Part 2 to share what actually happens after the discovery and how they’ve stayed connected through burnout, resentment, emotional differences, and communication challenges. Mike was identified as autistic in adulthood, long after their relationship began. Together, they talk honestly about the shifts they had to make, the misunderstandings that once felt overwhelming, and the unexpected strengths autism brings into their home and partnership. If you missed Part 1, I encourage you to listen to that episode first. It covers how they discovered Mike is autistic and the early strategies that helped them build a more workable, sustainable rhythm together. In this episode, we talk about: We also speak directly to therapists and coaches about the importance of understanding neurodiversity as its own specialty and how easily it’s misidentified without the right training. About Today's Guests Mike and Amy have been together for 18 years. Mike discovered he is autistic four years ago, which opened up a completely new understanding of their relationship dynamic. Today, he advocates for autistic adults and is currently writing a forthcoming memoir on late-diagnosed autism. Amy is a licensed therapist in Illinois and a coach for clients in other states. She specializes in supporting autistic adults, partners in neurodiverse relationships, and parents raising neurodivergent children. She also trains other clinicians in recognizing adult autism and working effectively with neurodiverse couples. Connect with Amy: amatthews@prairiewellness.org Learn more: prairiewellness.org About Your Host I’m Jodi Carlton, a neurodiverse relationship coach with more than 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, educator, and author. As a neurodivergent woman who spent 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raised neurodivergent children, I bring both professional expertise and lived experience to this work. I help individuals, couples, and families around the world find clarity, confidence, and connection in their neurodiverse relationships. Explore resources, quizzes, and courses: jodicarlton.com Questions? Contact me: gethelp@jodicarlton.com

When a “surprisingly easy” relationship meets the chaos of new parenthood, even strong couples can hit unexpected walls. In this episode, Jodi sits down with Amy—a therapist—and her husband Mike, who was identified as autistic later in life. Together, they unpack how a “perfectly compatible” pre-baby routine masked Mike’s autistic needs—and how everything changed when their first child arrived, sleep disappeared, and burnout began. What followed was a five-year detour through misdiagnosed depression, unhelpful therapy, and even a formal assessment that incorrectly labeled Mike with schizoid personality disorder instead of autism. With help from fellow clinician Laura Schreiner, Amy and Mike finally pieced together the autism puzzle and began rebuilding their marriage through understanding, not blame. They share how small, practical changes—like scheduling downtime, using a “battery gauge” to show energy levels, and rethinking communication—helped reduce conflict, ease burnout, and strengthen their connection. In This Episode, You’ll Learn How early “compatibility” masked autistic needs What triggered burnout and misdiagnosis after parenthood The difference between depression and autistic burnout Simple home adjustments that reduced conflict How humor and empathy helped them reconnect About Amy & Mike Amy and Mike have been together for 18 years—long before Mike’s late identification as autistic. When they began searching for resources, they were struck by how few hopeful perspectives existed for autistic adults and neurodiverse couples. That gap inspired their shared commitment to advocacy and education. Mike is a husband, father, and autism advocate whose work includes serving as secretary of a disability organization, appearing on podcasts, and writing What Does Your Face Mean?: An Informational Memoir on Late-Diagnosed Autism (forthcoming). Amy is a licensed therapist in Illinois and a coach for out-of-state clients. She specializes in supporting autistic adults, their partners, and parents raising neurodivergent children—and trains other clinicians to better understand adult autism and neurodiverse relationships. 📧 Contact Amy: amatthews@prairiewellness.org 🌐 Learn more: prairiewellness.org — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for neurodiverse relationships to thrive—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers clarity, confidence, and lasting change. 👉 Explore free resources, quizzes, and courses at Jodi's website. 🔔 Don’t forget to follow, rate, and share! Your support helps more people find the clarity they need in their neurodiverse relationships.

Can a neurodiverse relationship thrive long-term—even when the work feels messy, nonlinear, and hard? In Part 3, the final episode of this roundtable series, Jodi and the panel of neurodiversity experts explore the skills that make progress possible: forgiveness, repair after conflict, and practical tools that help partners bridge intent and impact. This conversation digs into what progress actually looks like (hint: it’s not linear), why discomfort is part of the process, and how couples build something that works for them—not just what’s “supposed to” work. 💬 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Whether you’re navigating a neurodiverse relationship yourself, supporting someone you love, or working with couples in this space, this conversation is packed with real insight and practical strategies you can start using right away. 👉 Missed Part 1? Watch here: https://youtu.be/rXeUypJeQX4?si=yz0jiOYVdGy007-J 👉 Missed Part 2? Watch here: https://youtu.be/rqW5GRhu5Fs 📍 Episode Timestamps: 00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 01:56 – Progress Looks Messy: Awareness, Micro-steps, and Tolerance 07:26 – Forgiveness, Healing, and Real Repair (Gottman Lens) 11:35 – Lived Experience + A Daily “Autism Moment” Journal Tool 18:03 – Stop “It Should Be Natural”: Tools That Fit Neurotypes 22:46 – Intent vs. Impact, Acceptance, and Calling Out Toxic Dynamics 27:20 – Forgiveness for You, Acceptance ≠ Approval, “Space Between Stories” 31:14 – Markers of Progress: Impact Over Intent, Build Your Own Tools 👋🏼 Meet the Experts: This episode features insights from: Laura Schreiner – Licensed counselor (IL) specializing in neurodivergent individuals & couples. https://www.laurasnc.com Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. – Host of Neurodiverse Love Podcast, creator of Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards & Workbook, and organizer of the Neurodiverse Love Conference. https://www.neurodiverselove.com Heidi Hackney – ICF-certified coach, mentor, & co-founder of Autistic Voiceover Artists (AVA), supporting autistic adults in the voiceover industry. https://thecan-docoach.com Natalie Roberts – Award-winning neurodiverse relationship coach, co-founder of Loving Difference, and co-host of Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://natalieroberts.com Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes – Autism researcher, ordained minister, author of Uniquely Us, and host of Neurodiverse Christian Couples Podcast. https://www.holmesasr.com Debbie King – Counselor specializing in neurodiverse relationships, trauma, & toxic family dynamics, offering global support via Zoom. Robin Tate, M.A., M.S., BCC, ACC, CAS – Neurodiverse couples coach, certified autism specialist, and founder of Robin Tate LLC. https://www.robintatellc.com Jana Smith – Resilience and nervous system coach; expert in chronic illness and Cassandra Syndrome recovery. https://www.janamsmith.com #neurodiverserelationship #autisminmarriage #adhd #forgiveness #repairafterconflict #cognitiveempathy #communicationtools #neurodiversity _________________________________________________ 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉 Find resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com 🔔 Subscribe & Follow for more real conversations and strategies to support #neurodiversecouples.

Accommodating neurodiversity doesn’t have to mean resentment or burnout. In this episode, we explore how a neurodiverse relationship can thrive when both partners learn to balance self-accommodation and mutual respect. Coaches Jeremy & Charity Rochford show how neurodivergent partners can self-accommodate (not outsource to neurotypical spouses) and how neurotypical partners can set boundaries that protect their own bandwidth. You’ll learn concrete tools—transition buffers, noise strategies, visual timers—and how a shared relationship system replaces score-keeping with reciprocity. If you’ve been told to “just run” from a neurodiverse relationship, this episode offers a smarter path. Jeremy (autistic) & Charity (neurotypical) (hosts of the NeuroFam podcast) join Jodi to show how reframing autism/ADHD from problem to predictable pattern unlocks real solutions. We dig into practical rituals that improve connection without enmeshment, plus we explore why “effort is invisible” and how accommodations can increase connection instead of being sacrifices for either partner. Jeremy explains his “software upgrade” mindset (strengthening theory of mind/executive function like training a muscle), while Charity shares how compassion + structure reduce resentment. You’ll leave with scripts, rituals, and a way to accommodate needs without erasing yourself. 00:00 – Welcome to Season Five 01:00 – Meet Jeremy & Charity 04:45 – Autism isn’t the problem: Updating the ‘80s narrative 09:40 – How kid diagnoses led to adult discoveries (and relief) 14:20 – Compassion shifts: Seeing sensory overload vs. “too much” 18:30 – “Software upgrades”: Building empathy & executive function 22:10 – Accommodations that work: Earbuds, car rules, visual timers 29:10 – Resentment vs reciprocity: Why effort is invisible 33:00 – Build a marriage system: Make expectations explicit 35:20 – Accommodate without erasing yourself (Disney example) 👥 Meet Jeremy & Charity Rochford Jeremy and Charity Rochford—known as Team Rochford—are certified life coaches and co-founders of NeuroFam, where they specialize in coaching for neurodiverse couples, parents, and families. Married for 25 years and raising two autistic children, they blend professional expertise (Jeremy has a BA in Communication Studies; Charity a BA in Psychology) with lived experience to deliver a truly balanced perspective. NeuroFam’s coaching is forward-focused and results-based—helping families create practical systems, reduce resentment, and build relationships that thrive. Jeremy works primarily with autistic/ADHD men, fathers, and young adults, while Charity supports neurotypical partners, mothers, and women navigating ND/NT family dynamics. 🔗 Resources Mentioned in This Episode https://www.neurofam.com https://www.ourneurofam.com/neuro-fm-podcast https://www.stoneandheen.com/thanks-feedbackhttps://jodicarlton.com/courses/relationship-2-0-crack-the-communication-code/ https://www.attwoodandgarnettevents.com/ — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 🔔 Help the algorithm help other couples — Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships. #NeurodiverseRelationship #AutismInMarriage #ADHD

Autistic + ADHD partners often collide around regulation. Here’s how to stop the clashes and build connection with real-world scripts, rituals, and repeatable practices. If you need clear, practical tools to make a neurodiverse relationship feel calmer and more connected, this episode delivers! Jodi and licensed counselor Greg Fuqua (late-identified autistic) break down exactly how autistic self-regulators and ADHD co-regulators can stop clashing and start syncing up—so both partners feel seen, safe, and respected. Greg shares the exact rituals he and his wife use after 30+ years together—like a 20–30 minute transition buffer before reconnecting after time apart, a simple “commute-call” habit that creates connection without pressure, and a prepare → attune → debrief framework for handling events like parties or family gatherings. You’ll hear why effort often feels invisible, why “fair” doesn’t always mean equal, and how shifting from content fights to process check-ins changes everything. We also dig into scripts for setting capacity limits, what shutdowns and alexithymia look like, and a quick connect → ground rhythm you can try today. If you missed Part 1, circle back for the mindset shifts that make these tools stick. 💡 This episode is especially helpful for: 00:00 – Intro: From Mindset to Methods in Neurodiverse Love 02:02 – Self-Regulation vs. Co-Regulation: Why Couples Clash 06:57 – The 20–30 Minute Transition Ritual That Prevents Conflict 10:35 – Why “Effort Is Invisible” (and How to Stop Keeping Score) 18:13 – The Commute-Call Ritual That Builds Daily Attunement 27:07 – Prepare → Attune → Debrief: A Framework for Events 35:34 – Final Takeaway: Relationships Require Constant Renegotiation About Greg Fuqua: Greg Fuqua, MA, LMHC, is a late-identified autistic therapist specializing in neurodiverse counseling and couples therapy. With over 30 years of personal experience in a neurodiverse marriage, Greg brings rare insight to his clinical work, blending lived experience with professional expertise. Formerly a professional artist and art professor for 23 years, Greg integrates creativity and empathy into his strength-based, person-centered approach. He is an Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist (ASDCS) and Level 2 AANE-trained neurodiverse couples therapist, as well as co-host of the Neurodiverse Love podcast with Mona Kay. Greg leads Divergent Counseling in West Des Moines, IA, where he supports individuals, couples, families, and organizations in building healthier, more authentic relationships. Resources: https://www.gregfuqua.com/https://www.youtube.com/@NeurodivergentConnections/featured — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 🔔 Help the algorithm help other couples—Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Why do neurodiverse couples clash so often? Licensed counselor Greg Fuqua shares the hidden patterns—and how to finally break them. If your neurodiverse relationship feels like a boxing ring—or you keep looping the same arguments—this episode gives you a new playbook. Jodi sits down with licensed counselor Greg Fuqua (late-identified autistic) to talk about what really changes things: shifting from blame to inner work, breaking the cycle of “negative assumptions of wrongness,” and why individual therapy often helps autistic/ADHD couples more than traditional couples counseling. Greg also shares the turning point in his own 30-year marriage: a career collapse, intrusive suicidal thoughts, and the affect-based therapy that cracked open his emotions and rebuilt his capacity for connection. You’ll come away with practical language you can use today, a clearer map of autistic–neurotypical differences as strengths (not flaws), and a preview of Part 2, where we dive into specific co-regulation and attunement tools you can practice at home. 💡 This episode is especially helpful for: 00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 01:06 – Meet Greg Fuqua: Late-Identified Autistic Therapist 01:51 – Why Neurodivergent Therapists See Things Differently 02:30 – Inside AANE’s Level 2 Couples Training 07:21 – Relational Trauma & the “Assumption of Wrongness” 12:33 – Greg’s 30-Year Marriage: Struggles, Turn-Taking & Survival 17:46 – From Suicidal Thoughts to Healing & Authenticity 29:21 – The Secret to Making Neurodiverse Relationships Work About Greg Fuqua: Greg Fuqua, MA, LMHC, is a late-identified autistic therapist specializing in neurodiverse counseling and couples therapy. With over 30 years of personal experience in a neurodiverse marriage, Greg brings rare insight to his clinical work, blending lived experience with professional expertise. Formerly a professional artist and art professor for 23 years, Greg integrates creativity and empathy into his strength-based, person-centered approach. He is an Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist (ASDCS) and Level 2 AANE-trained neurodiverse couples therapist, as well as co-host of the Neurodiverse Love podcast with Mona Kay. Greg leads Divergent Counseling in West Des Moines, IA, where he supports individuals, couples, families, and organizations in building healthier, more authentic relationships. Resources — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

What It’s Like to Be Face Blind in a Neurodiverse Relationship Ever mistaken a stranger for your spouse? Journalist and author Sadie Dingfelder has—because she’s face blind. In this episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship, Sadie and her husband Steve share what it’s like to navigate marriage when both partners are neurodivergent in different ways. From ADHD to prosopagnosia (face blindness), this conversation is filled with relatable moments, honest insights, and laugh-out-loud stories. Sadie discusses how discovering her own neurodivergence led to writing her debut book, “Do I Know You?”, while Steve reflects on living with ADHD since childhood and what finally helped him understand how his brain works. Together, they talk with host Jodi Carlton about cognitive empathy, relationship conflict, and what it really takes to make a neurodiverse marriage thrive. If you're in a neurodiverse relationship—or love someone who is—this episode offers validation, wisdom, and the reminder that being “on the same team” is everything. 00:00 – Welcome to Season Five 01:00 – “I Thought I Was Neurotypical”: Meet Sadie & Steve 04:40 – Mistaking a Stranger for Your Spouse?! Discovering Face Blindness 09:15 – How COVID Changed Everything in Their Marriage 13:50 – “We’re Living in Different Realities”: Cognitive Empathy Explained 19:10 – ADHD Meds, Creativity & Finding What Actually Works 25:00 – The Secret to Making Neurodiverse Relationships Work ✨ About Sadie Dingfelder & Steve Hay: Sadie Dingfelder is a science journalist with a sharp wit and a deep curiosity about hidden neurodiversity. In her debut book, “Do I Know You? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory, and Imagination”, she unpacks what it’s like to live with prosopagnosia (face blindness) while taking readers on a fascinating tour of the brain’s inner workings. A former reporter for the Washington Post Express, Sadie is known for blending humor and insight—whether she’s reviewing every bathroom on the National Mall or playing a priceless Stradivarius at the Smithsonian. Her writing has appeared in The New Yorker, National Geographic, Washingtonian, and other major publications. Steve Hay is an engineer and aspiring scientist who is currently developing an augmented reality art project that simulates prosopagnosia by using AI to subtly distort faces in real time. Before turning his focus to brain and perception research, Steve worked as a Navy nuclear engineer and later in the green energy sector, applying AI and machine learning to grid-scale energy storage. His work blends scientific insight, creative experimentation, and a knack for making the invisible visible. 📚 Check out Sadie’s book “Do I Know you? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory and Imagination.” https://www.amazon.com/Know-You-Faceblind-Reporters-Imagination/dp/0316545147 — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com 🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

In a Neurodiverse Relationship, what happens after you fall in love—but still have to figure out how to live, love, and parent? In Part 2 of this Season 5 episode with Jodi, Adam and Becca James go even deeper into the realities of a neurodiverse marriage. Becca is autistic and ADHD (AuDHD). Adam is neurotypical. Together, they’ve reached millions on TikTok with raw, relatable content about neurodivergent relationships. Together, they open up about the day-to-day realities of a neurodiverse relationship—from miscommunication and parenting stress to intimacy challenges, sensory overload, and the emotional friction that comes with constantly decoding each other’s world. With their signature mix of honesty and humor, they explore what it really means to stay connected when love languages clash and nothing feels simple. 💬 You’ll hear about: Whether you're married to someone with autism, parenting through sensory stress, or just trying to better understand your neurodivergent partner, this episode is a heartfelt continuation of a conversation that’s making thousands feel seen. 📍 Episode Timestamps: 00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 00:57 – Meet Adam & Becca: Viral TikTok Couple 01:36 – Misunderstandings, Meltdowns & Missed Signals 03:12 – Using Humor to Survive Neurodivergent Life 10:29 – Family Expectations vs. Neurodivergent Needs 14:42 – When Physical Affection Feels Overwhelming 17:22 – Autism, Intimacy & Rebuilding a Sexual Connection 20:20 – The Gap Between Neurotypical & Neurodivergent Brains 21:46 – Rethinking How Relationships “Should” Work 23:44 – Why Intentional Understanding Keeps Us Together 26:05 – Miscommunication in Marriage: It's Not What You Think 33:29 – Parenting With Limited Bandwidth 37:14 – The Poisoner’s Almanac: Becca’s Special Interest 38:55 – Final Thoughts + Resources for Neurodiverse Couples ✨ About Adam & Becca: Adam and Becca James are a neurodiverse couple living in Georgia who’ve built a community of over 205K followers on TikTok (@studiesshow) by sharing the everyday realities of their relationship—equal parts insightful, awkward, and hilarious. Their content went viral after one clip, now with over 32 million views, showing the wildly different ways they wind down at night. Since then, they’ve continued to open up about the challenges and gifts of navigating life, love, and parenthood with ADHD and autism in the mix. Adam is a home health physical therapist, musician, and lifelong Braves fan. Becca, a nurse with experience in both hospital and home healthcare, brings her dry wit and deeply self-aware reflections to their videos, offering a perspective that resonates with both neurodivergent and neurotypical viewers alike. Together, they use their TikTok platform to normalize neurodivergence, dismantle stigma, and remind their audience that even opposites can thrive—with the right mix of humor, honesty, and headphones. Adam and Becca also co-host The Poisoner’s Almanac, a podcast exploring poisons (one of Becca's special interests) through history, culture, and modern science. Mentioned in this episode: 🎧 Adam & Becca’s podcast: The Poisoner’s Almanac – a true crime-meets-science deep dive into historical and modern poisons, created around Becca’s special interest. 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉...

❓ What happens when two people fall in love and one is neurodivergent? They go viral on social media! 📈 In this episode, Jodi chats with Adam and Becca, a neurodiverse couple whose viral TikToks have racked up millions of views. Their videos offer an unfiltered look into the realities of a neurodiverse relationship—and their honest, often hilarious conversations have helped hundreds of thousands of viewers feel less alone. Together, they share what it’s really like navigating marriage with autism and ADHD in the mix: from sensory overload and autistic burnout to faith deconstruction, parenting struggles, emotional disconnects, and wildly mismatched love languages. Becca opens up about her late autism diagnosis, how masking nearly broke her, and why even small moments of affection can feel overwhelming. Adam reflects on how being a neurotypical husband has challenged him to rethink communication, connection, and what support truly looks like. 💬 You’ll hear about: -How they met and fell in love despite major differences -Becca’s late autism diagnosis and what finally made everything click -How masking, meltdowns, and burnout shaped their early years of marriage -The tension between physical touch and sensory boundaries -Why Adam’s humor is more than just comic relief—it’s a lifeline -The role faith and religious deconstruction played in reshaping their connection -What it means to truly be seen—and chosen—by someone wired differently If you've ever wondered what "opposites attract" looks like in a neurodiverse relationship, this episode is a must-listen! 📍 Episode Timestamps: 0:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 01:00 – Meet Adam & Becca: A Quirky First Encounter 03:00 – Burnout, Meltdowns & the Cost of Masking 06:00 – Autism, Sensory Overload & the Need for Space 10:40 – Parenthood, Shutdowns & Surviving the Early Years 18:55 – Late Diagnosis, Big Realizations 20:45 – From Toxic Church Culture to Mental Clarity 25:00 – How Opposites Communicate (and Miscommunicate) 28:50 – Choosing Each Other, Every Day 34:25 – Why Laughter Helps More Than You Think ✨ About Adam & Becca: Adam and Becca James are a neurodiverse couple living in Georgia who’ve built a community of over 205K followers on TikTok (@studiesshow) by sharing the everyday realities of their relationship—equal parts insightful, awkward, and hilarious. Their content went viral after one clip, now with over 32 million views, showing the wildly different ways they wind down at night. Since then, they’ve continued to open up about the challenges and gifts of navigating life, love, and parenthood with ADHD and autism in the mix. Adam is a home health physical therapist, musician, and lifelong Braves fan. Becca, a nurse with experience in both hospital and home healthcare, brings her dry wit and deeply self-aware reflections to their videos, offering a perspective that resonates with both neurodivergent and neurotypical viewers alike. Together, they use their TikTok platform to normalize neurodivergence, dismantle stigma, and remind their audience that even opposites can thrive—with the right mix of humor, honesty, and headphones. Adam and Becca also co-host The Poisoner’s Almanac, a podcast exploring poisons (one of Becca's special interests) through history, culture, and modern science. 💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI. 🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to...

Can a neurodiverse relationship still see change when only one partner works on it? What if you’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to stick? In Part 2 of this roundtable discussion, Jodi and the panel of leading neurodiversity professionals return to explore how coaching (versus therapy), nervous system regulation, and identifying options can help couples shift out of stuck patterns—even when one partner isn’t engaged in the work. If you’re trying to decide whether to stay, leave, or redefine what being together looks like, this conversation offers real-life strategies, hope, and clarity. 💬 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: The difference between coaching and traditional therapy—and when each is most effective Why regulating your nervous system is key to better communication Practical tools for rewiring the brain and shifting harmful patterns How to navigate decision-making, boundaries, and even separation with clarity and self-trust What to look for in a therapist or coach to determine who actually understands neurodiversity - versus someone who “knows someone that was neurodivergent” How healing is possible even if only one partner is doing the work Whether you're in a neurodiverse relationship, supporting a loved one, or working as a professional in this space, this episode offers real tools, compassionate insight, and hopeful next steps. 👉 Missed Part 1? Watch here: https://youtu.be/rXeUypJeQX4?si=1GiWaeRK5PhrWS59 00:00 Welcome Back: Season 5 & this Expert Panel Episode 00:57 Real-Life Experience from Neurodiverse Professionals 03:15 Why Traditional Couples Therapy Often Falls Short 04:49 Coaching vs. Counseling: What Works for Neurodiverse Couples 06:05 Nervous System Regulation & Expanding Capacity 08:52 When Only One Partner Is Willing to Do the Work 13:02 Discernment: Stay, Go, or Redefine the Relationship 21:42 How to Know If a Therapist Really Gets Neurodiversity 27:45 Red Flags, Abuse, and Boundaries in Neurodiverse Marriages 28:25 Closing Thoughts & Resources 👋🏼 Meet the Experts: This episode features insights from: Barbara Grant, MMFT, CAS, NDCC – Neurodiverse couples coach, co-host of Neurodiverse Couples Coaches Corner, and co-author of Uniquely Us. https://bg-hc.com Jana Smith – Resilience and nervous system coach; expert in chronic illness and Cassandra Syndrome recovery. https://www.janamsmith.com Natalie Roberts – Award-winning neurodiverse relationship coach, co-founder of Loving Difference, and co-host of Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://natalieroberts.com Heather Parks – Somatic coach specializing in neurodiverse families; co-host of Loving Difference and Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://heatherparks.co.uk Robin Tate, M.A., M.S., BCC, ACC, CAS – Neurodiverse couples coach, certified autism specialist, and founder of Robin Tate LLC. https://www.robintatellc.com 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉 Find resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com 🔔 Subscribe & Follow for more real conversations and strategies to support neurodiverse couples.

How do you stay in a neurodiverse marriage for the long haul? In Part 2 of this honest and hope-filled conversation, counselor Laura Schreiner returns to share what she and her autistic husband have learned in over 20 years together—especially after discovering neurodivergence mid-marriage. With warmth and wisdom, Laura and host Jodi Carlton explore what real growth looks like in neurodiverse marriages—from learning to set emotional boundaries to releasing the pressure to “fix” each other. 💬 You’ll hear Laura unpack: Why setting boundaries with your kids is just as important as with your partner How her husband’s communication “black belt” surprised her What changed when she detached from emotional outcomes Why understanding your own expectations is essential—especially if you're the one doing all the work Her husband’s take: “We’re not opposites. We’re complementary puzzle pieces.” This conversation is packed with real insight for #neurotypical and #neurodivergent partners alike—plus a lot of humor and humanity! 📍 Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro & Why You Shouldn’t Miss Part 1 01:24 Setting Boundaries as a Neurodivergent Parent 03:50 “Fixing Autism” vs. Doing the Personal Work 06:02 Her Communication “Black Belt” Analogy 07:07 How Feelings are Impacted by What We Choose to Believe 09:19 Somatic Tools for Regulating Relationship Tension 11:39 Doing the Inner Work—Even If the Relationship Doesn’t Last 14:37 How One Breakthrough Shifted Their Marriage 17:06 Codependency, Expectations & the Myth of the “Perfect Partner” 19:16 What If Leaving Isn’t So Simple? 24:24 How We Define Progress in Neurodiverse Relationships 29:01 Letting Go of Expectations & Receiving What’s Given 34:00 We Both Still Like Chicken 35:00 “We’re Complementary Puzzle Pieces” (Her Husband’s Final Insight) ✨ About Laura Schreiner: Laura Schreiner is a licensed professional counselor in Illinois who specializes in working with neurodivergent adults and couples. Her expertise is deeply personal—Laura discovered in 2017 that her husband is autistic, a revelation that reshaped both her personal and professional life. Certified in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy through the Asperger/Autism Network (AANE), Laura combines over 15 years of clinical experience with firsthand insight into the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She is currently developing new ways to educate and support the neurodiverse community on how brain wiring differences shape communication, connection, and partnership. To follow Laura’s work or get in touch, visit www.laurasnc.com 👉 Real stories. Tangible strategies. Watch more honest conversations from Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29 💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI. 🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai #neurodiversemarriage #communicationchallenges #codependencyrecovery #neurodivergentlove #emotionalboundaries #relationshipadvice 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses:...