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Halfwits & Failed Crits

Fantasy & Science Fiction Podcasts

Halfwits & Failed Crits is an actual play tabletop role-playing podcast where Game Master Jonathan Swenson vows to get his players to the end of a campaign. Unfortunately their cursed dice have other plans. Join them as they play Dungeons & Dragons, and try to make the guild to beat all guilds in Season 1 - Worlds Divided. Blast off into space with Season 2 - Children of the Spine, a Stars Without Number game. Or just hop on for a good time but not a long time with any of the crazy One Shots!? Where the Game Master can be anyone and the rules can be anything!

Halfwits & Failed Crits is an actual play tabletop role-playing podcast where Game Master Jonathan Swenson vows to get his players to the end of a campaign. Unfortunately their cursed dice have other plans. Join them as they play Dungeons & Dragons, and try to make the guild to beat all guilds in Season 1 - Worlds Divided. Blast off into space with Season 2 - Children of the Spine, a Stars Without Number game. Or just hop on for a good time but not a long time with any of the crazy One Shots!? Where the Game Master can be anyone and the rules can be anything!

Location:

United States

Description:

Halfwits & Failed Crits is an actual play tabletop role-playing podcast where Game Master Jonathan Swenson vows to get his players to the end of a campaign. Unfortunately their cursed dice have other plans. Join them as they play Dungeons & Dragons, and try to make the guild to beat all guilds in Season 1 - Worlds Divided. Blast off into space with Season 2 - Children of the Spine, a Stars Without Number game. Or just hop on for a good time but not a long time with any of the crazy One Shots!? Where the Game Master can be anyone and the rules can be anything!

Twitter:

@failedcrits

Language:

English


Episodes

Please Read the Show Notes - Ep 4 had the Wrong Audio

6/8/2021
If you downloaded Ep 4 on release day, please manually refresh the episode RSS. The new audio is up now, so if you hit play and it starts with the usual theme song, you are all set and don't have to do anything! I was on vacation/ got married this past weekend and forgot I had raw audio uploaded to our host as a placeholder, and that went live instead of our usual stellar (see what I did there) production. Thank you all for being patient. As a apology gift here's a nice calm loop of...

Duration:00:02:07

Children of the Spine Ep 4 - A Binary Handshake

6/7/2021
***WRONG/RAW AUDIO UPLOADED. IF IT DOESN'T START WITH THE THEME SONG PLEASE RE-DOWNLOAD. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE!*** The Children are in lock-down! John, Kamala, Astrid, and Nadia get caught venting, while Mohan stays behind with a clean house and a new friend. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson Episode Music: The Sector - Jonathan Swenson & Kiley Bickford One with All - Bobby Prater Ominous...

Duration:02:31:01

Children of the Spine Ep 3 - That One's for Free

5/17/2021
After their cryptic encounter in Lognar, the Children are in search of answers. And what better person to give answers than everyone's favorite elderly neighbor, Frank. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson Episode Music: The Sector - Jonathan Swenson & Kiley Bickford One with All - Bobby Prater Techno Dome - Bobby Prater Frank's House - Bobby Prater Ending Theme: Cosmic Banner - Bobby...

Duration:01:43:47

Children of the Spine Ep 2 - Real Boats Rock

4/26/2021
We rejoin the Children as they spend their usual morning in the dorm reading magazines, feeding amorphous wolf birds, hacking government websites, and figuring out how to obtain a gun. But their job from the other day isn't complete, and they set out on their first journey outside of Undarnott Campus! What mysterious world awaits where their package needs to be? Find out on Children of the Spine Episode 2 - Real Boats Rock! Opening Theme: Into the Portal -...

Duration:02:44:45

Children of the Spine - Faction Turn #1

4/14/2021
This is the first Faction Turn where Jonathan moves the people of the greater sector around like the little chess pieces they are, which keeps the world alive and changing outside the main campaign. You can follow along with our sector map here https://ko-fi.com/i/IH2H14AW8B! Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Episode Music: The Sector by Jonathan Swenson & Kiley Bickford Tawhid League Theme by Bobby Prater Sovereignties of...

Duration:00:32:15

Children of the Spine Ep 1 - All the Lights in the Sky are Stars

4/5/2021
Astrid Folstad (Kiley), John Coal (Bobby), Kamala Magar (Laura), Mohan Wayuu (Luis), and Nadia Kadir (Mary), are five years older and have lived a comfortable life in the newly established dorms of the Undarnott Service Co. They wake up, hang out, eat food, go to work, and hang out just to repeat the cycle the next day. Some of the party members are getting tired of the daily grind and want to look into exploration grants from The Principality of Vitr in order to find their true homes...

Duration:01:06:04

Children of the Spine - Prologue

3/15/2021
After the Scream Pursuit Syndicate met their fate in the final battle of the Prequel, a group of onlooking children were transported to the newly appeared Planet under the Spine, Nedrak. Astrid Folstad (Kiley), John Coal (Bobby), Kamala Magar (Laura), Mohan Wayuu (Luis), and Nadia Kadir (Mary) find their young selves fighting for survival as tensions run high and resources run low. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ *Voice over added by...

Duration:01:22:25

Children of the Spine - World Building

2/22/2021
In this episode zero the Failed Crits Crew sits down and breathes some more life into the star sector. Jonathan reads a bit of history from the Stars Without Number rule book by Kevin Crawford, each player develops the lore of a planet, and finally we make the new player characters! Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Episode Music: The Sector - Jonathan Swenson & Kiley Bickford Ending Theme: Cosmic Banner - Bobby Prater. Please Rate...

Duration:01:22:55

Children of the Spine - Prequel Part V

2/1/2021
The crew of the SPS Resonance has collected the artifacts, Learned critical information, made a new mech, and perilously flung themselves toward the final location on their map, not knowing what awaits them. What will they find there? Who will be waiting for them? Will we ever find out what this insidious Scream related plan entails? Find out on the Finale of the Prequel to Children of the Spine! Note from Jonathan: Thank you all for listening to the Prequel to Season 2! If you enjoyed...

Duration:02:02:29

Children of the Spine - Prequel Part IV

1/16/2021
With the crew forever expanding with the addition of Professor Kono "Flick" Waotaka, the crew of the SPS Resonance needs to learn more about the items they are collecting and what the end game will be. In order to do that, they decide to visit Casey's homeworld of Astollea, where some of the best tech and minds in the sector reside. Will they get the answers they are looking for? Will they have to aggressively escape yet another mission that should have been diplomatic? Find out in Part IV...

Duration:02:33:41

Children of the Spine - Prequel Part III

1/1/2021
We rejoin the crew of the Resonance hot off of their battle in Barbalil, a second pre-scream artifact secured. As they make their way to the next set of deciphered coordinates, the planet Ephet-Izaki, we get a rare glimpse at the mundane lives of world class pirates. Infestations, robots, photographs, and a resource crisis all keep the long spike drill rides...interesting. On planet, Madam N.O.S. (Kiley) revisits her Alma Mater, CaseyNova's (Luis) latest creation roams menacingly, Tantalus...

Duration:02:32:23

Children of the Spine - Prequel Part II

1/1/2021
The crew of the Resonance is now in possession of a potential pre-scream artifact, and a map to find more! After deciphering the next set of coordinates, they are off to the planet Barbalil, where a civil war between the monarchy and the religious zealots is reaching a climax. Speaking of, there's rumor that one of our own crew may have an in with the royalty, or inversly, is very much no longer welcome here. Hop aboard the SPS Resonance and join CaseyNova (Luis), Madam N.O.S. (Kiley), Veil...

Duration:02:50:07

Children of the Spine - Prequel Part I

1/1/2021
WELCOME TO SEASON 2!!! This is the first of 5 games that were intended to be one shots, using the Stars Without Number Revised system by Kevin Crawford, but the group ended up liking it so much they wanted to make this the next campaign. We also have added a new member to our ranks, Bobby Prater. Bobby also made the outro that you will here at the end of the episode! In this episode we meet the members of a notorious pirate gang known as the Scream Pursuit Syndicate as they begin a heist...

Duration:01:57:57

Bonus - Backstabbing Beasties

10/18/2020
Our resident mistress of the dark Mary takes the role of Fate in this spooky scary one shot sure to send shivers down your spine! Join Murphy the Merfolk (Luis), Lilith the Vampire (Kiley), Amelia the Spectre (Laura), and Joaquin the Mummy (Jonathan) as we race to obtain mortality and a long deserved rest from monstering. Theme: Unholy Knight by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4563-unholy-knight License:...

Duration:03:03:55

Worlds Divided Ep 14 - Finale

9/18/2020
The Syndicate are locked in battle with the Grand Masters of Hallastead in the final fight to free themselves and their new allies from their imprisonment within the rifts. Can they right the wrongs of the past, or will they be forced to live in the dying rifts!? This is the Finale of Halfwits & Failed Crits Season 1 - Worlds Divided! Thank you to all of our listeners who came along this journey with us! Please let use our social media below to let us know your favorite character, favorite...

Duration:01:59:12

Worlds Divided Ep 13 - Righteous in Wrath

8/28/2020
The Syndicate begins the ultimate battle as worlds collide! Will they be able to save their guild-mates in time? Will they get revenge on the First Paradigm and the Guild Grand Masters? One thing is for certain, they are Righteous in their Wrath! Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. Post Roll Promo Swap with Redgate and Wolf! Support the show...

Duration:01:31:39

Worlds Divided Ep 12 - The Great Weapon

8/8/2020
The Syndicate faces their most harrowing challenge yet, a battle with an Ancient Silver Dragon! Will the vault it guards hold the key to their escape from the rifts?! Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. Post Roll Promo Swap with Redgate and Wolf! Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

Duration:02:12:19

Worlds Divided Ep 11 - The City That Never Was

7/17/2020
The Syndicate are taken into custody by some of this alien worlds inhabitants and brought before a council to determine their fate, and the fate of Espacia as they know it. Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. Post Roll Promo Swap with Redgate and Wolf! Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

Duration:01:48:36

Worlds Divided Ep 10 - The Lost

7/5/2020
In this episode the Syndicate finds themselves reliving some old memories, before waking up in a world they don't recognize! Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. Post Roll Promo Swap with Redgate and Wolf! Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

Duration:01:49:41

Worlds Divided Ep 9 - The First Paradigm

6/27/2020
This week Guild Festival Announcers Kalezar and Israe give the play by play for the big showdown between The Syndicate and their nemesis, The First Paradigm! Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. Post Roll Promo Swap with Redgate and Wolf! Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

Duration:00:20:59