Universally Screwed
Mike Alread
On an alien moon a showdown is unfolding between a giant space slug that's heading towards a planet to destroy it, and a military group readying to defend their home world. A small fluffy dog runs through the night intent on regaining its previous life, and a pizza delivery man leaves his shift hoping to attend a university party. All of these events connect as sinister forces maneuver themselves in the background waiting to strike.
You should buy this audiobook. It's narrated by a real person. He's very good.
It's a comedy.
However, to help you in your retail purchasing decisions, might I offer you these possibilities:
1) You love it. Thus, you have a wonderful day, and this audiobook was well worth the purchase.
2) You hate it. Then you gift it to your frenemy, and it was once more worth the cost, as you finally one-up your nemesis.
3) You neither love it nor hate it, so you print the cover, encase it in resin and convert it into a coffee table as a discussion piece about the meaning of knowledge and the impermanence of the digital age, and again the audiobook has earned its keep.
4) Should you be lacking a printer, and you find that it falls under option 3 above, might I suggest that you use it to level out that wonky table in your memory palace instead. Why is that table in your memory palace wonky? I don't know, it's your memory palace. You should probably do something about that, and this audiobook can help.
I wish you well on your future purchase.
As one final incentive, here is a message for you from your future self that was sent back in time.
"Wow, I'm sure glad I purchased that audiobook. Maybe I should buy three more and give them out as inspiration/warnings for future authors!" please remove words as appropriate - your future self.
And if that doesn't prove time travel, I don't know what will.
Also, if you buy several copies you are winning at the game of life. Good for you!
Duration - 7h 40m.
Author - Mike Alread.
Narrator - Matthew Biddulph.
Published Date - Wednesday, 10 January 2024.
Copyright - © 2024 Mike Alread ©.
Location:
United States
Description:
On an alien moon a showdown is unfolding between a giant space slug that's heading towards a planet to destroy it, and a military group readying to defend their home world. A small fluffy dog runs through the night intent on regaining its previous life, and a pizza delivery man leaves his shift hoping to attend a university party. All of these events connect as sinister forces maneuver themselves in the background waiting to strike. You should buy this audiobook. It's narrated by a real person. He's very good. It's a comedy. However, to help you in your retail purchasing decisions, might I offer you these possibilities: 1) You love it. Thus, you have a wonderful day, and this audiobook was well worth the purchase. 2) You hate it. Then you gift it to your frenemy, and it was once more worth the cost, as you finally one-up your nemesis. 3) You neither love it nor hate it, so you print the cover, encase it in resin and convert it into a coffee table as a discussion piece about the meaning of knowledge and the impermanence of the digital age, and again the audiobook has earned its keep. 4) Should you be lacking a printer, and you find that it falls under option 3 above, might I suggest that you use it to level out that wonky table in your memory palace instead. Why is that table in your memory palace wonky? I don't know, it's your memory palace. You should probably do something about that, and this audiobook can help. I wish you well on your future purchase. As one final incentive, here is a message for you from your future self that was sent back in time. "Wow, I'm sure glad I purchased that audiobook. Maybe I should buy three more and give them out as inspiration/warnings for future authors!" please remove words as appropriate - your future self. And if that doesn't prove time travel, I don't know what will. Also, if you buy several copies you are winning at the game of life. Good for you! Duration - 7h 40m. Author - Mike Alread. Narrator - Matthew Biddulph. Published Date - Wednesday, 10 January 2024. Copyright - © 2024 Mike Alread ©.
Language:
English
Opening Credits
Duration:00:00:15
Dedication
Duration:00:00:11
Prelude
Duration:00:01:05
Chapter 1
Duration:00:16:09
Chapter 2
Duration:00:12:39
Chapter 3
Duration:00:08:46
Chapter 4
Duration:00:05:37
Chapter 5
Duration:00:08:41
Chapter 6
Duration:00:04:52
Chapter 7
Duration:00:09:28
Chapter 8
Duration:00:03:57
Chapter 9
Duration:00:09:03
Chapter 10
Duration:00:10:24
Chapter 11
Duration:00:13:18
Chapter 12
Duration:00:17:17
Chapter 13
Duration:00:31:36
Chapter 14
Duration:00:04:28
Chapter 15
Duration:00:11:24
Chapter 16
Duration:00:11:01
Chapter 17
Duration:00:25:30
Chapter 18
Duration:00:12:57
Chapter 19
Duration:00:04:08
Chapter 20
Duration:00:27:32
Chapter 21
Duration:00:03:55
Chapter 22
Duration:00:13:19
Chapter 23
Duration:00:13:35
Chapter 24
Duration:00:05:33
Chapter 25
Duration:00:05:40
Chapter 26
Duration:00:15:25
Chapter 27
Duration:00:17:42
Chapter 28
Duration:00:10:48
Chapter 29
Duration:00:05:11
Chapter 30
Duration:00:12:14
Chapter 31
Duration:00:20:35
Chapter 32
Duration:00:04:21
Chapter 33
Duration:00:12:24
Chapter 34
Duration:00:07:04
Chapter 35
Duration:00:12:32
Chapter 36
Duration:00:10:18
Chapter 37
Duration:00:11:39
Chapter 38
Duration:00:07:36
Chapter 39
Duration:00:11:39
Chapter 40
Duration:00:02:33
Chapter 41
Duration:00:04:27
Chapter 42
Duration:00:00:54
Ending Credits
Duration:00:00:23