Life According to Brian
B. M. Dawes
Life According to Brian chronicles forty-four stories of mishap and misadventure of a scale unparalleled in modern man. Disguised in comedy to protect the seriously guilty, the story follows Brian’s escapades traversing the world and captures not only the lunacy of life but the luck involved in avoiding one’s own death.
The guidebook for the mentally impaired includes: poaching, drugs, imprisonment, kidnapping, poisonings, alien hunters, crocodile suicide and much, much more…
The sorry episodes are being played out via a game of chess. God and Charles Darwin, seeking to save mankind, are plotting Brian’s untimely demise. The winner of each play gets to choose the method of death. Constantly interrupted by visiting deities, kings, queens and E.T., the two main players are frustrated in their attempts to have some peace and play the game, with a nice cup of tea and some Mr Kipling cake.
Send the kids away, euthanise the cat, find a comfy chair, pour a pint of the finest whisky…have a reliable psychiatrist on speed dial.
Come inside and enjoy the ride…
Duration - 11h 21m.
Author - B. M. Dawes.
Narrator - Jacob Z Klimaszewski.
Published Date - Thursday, 19 January 2023.
Copyright - © 2021 Austin Macauley Publishers ©.
Location:
United States
Networks:
B. M. Dawes
Jacob Z Klimaszewski
Austin Macauley Publishers
English Audiobooks
Findaway Audiobooks
Description:
Life According to Brian chronicles forty-four stories of mishap and misadventure of a scale unparalleled in modern man. Disguised in comedy to protect the seriously guilty, the story follows Brian’s escapades traversing the world and captures not only the lunacy of life but the luck involved in avoiding one’s own death. The guidebook for the mentally impaired includes: poaching, drugs, imprisonment, kidnapping, poisonings, alien hunters, crocodile suicide and much, much more… The sorry episodes are being played out via a game of chess. God and Charles Darwin, seeking to save mankind, are plotting Brian’s untimely demise. The winner of each play gets to choose the method of death. Constantly interrupted by visiting deities, kings, queens and E.T., the two main players are frustrated in their attempts to have some peace and play the game, with a nice cup of tea and some Mr Kipling cake. Send the kids away, euthanise the cat, find a comfy chair, pour a pint of the finest whisky…have a reliable psychiatrist on speed dial. Come inside and enjoy the ride… Duration - 11h 21m. Author - B. M. Dawes. Narrator - Jacob Z Klimaszewski. Published Date - Thursday, 19 January 2023. Copyright - © 2021 Austin Macauley Publishers ©.
Language:
English
Opening Credits
Duration:00:00:11
About the Author
Duration:00:00:51
Dedications
Duration:00:00:33
Invictus
Duration:00:01:00
The Beginning
Duration:00:01:15
One: Family Living, Zambia, 1970s
Duration:00:07:51
Two: Rearranging Mother's Wardrobe, The Mystery Gang Returns
Duration:00:16:26
Three: Four Fools Go Poaching - Escape from Alcatraz
Duration:00:15:19
Four: Half-Term Mayhem - Saving the Family Name
Duration:00:31:41
Five: The Big Send Off, Bare-Faced Cheek
Duration:00:15:09
Six: Off a Balcony, Without a Drainpipe
Duration:00:17:28
Seven: Plain Sailing, Dad's Birthday Treat
Duration:00:13:09
Eight: Dhow Trip. Venus Alighed, Love Conquers All
Duration:00:10:25
Nine: Filipino Dance Off, the Incredible Mr Singh
Duration:00:12:46
Ten: The Italian Job - Death of a Salesman
Duration:00:16:03
Eleven: 21st Birthday Party, The Passing of 'Sally'
Duration:00:15:50
Twelve: Australian Gangsters' Paradise
Duration:00:30:26
Thirteen: Hercey Bay, "Pablo" the Accidental Farmer
Duration:00:12:38
Fourteen: Having a Happy Moment - Hervey
Duration:00:11:16
Fifteen: Two Fools, Shark Bait
Duration:00:13:02
Sixteen: Gone Bush - 21st Party, Meeting an Expert
Duration:00:19:41
Seventeen: Leap of Faith, Flyer Backfire, Queensland
Duration:00:29:53
Eighteen: Thailand: Safe Hands, Act 1
Duration:00:20:50
Nineteen: Bahrain: Safe Hands, Act 2
Duration:00:10:52
Twenty: Making a Meal of It... Dinner's in the Dog
Duration:00:12:48
Twenty One: Great Escape. Kidnapped Morocco
Duration:00:17:47
Twenty Two: Saving the Basking Shark, Cousteau's Last Stand
Duration:00:14:09
Twenty Three: The Wedding Planner. One Fool, Best Man's Speech
Duration:00:15:33
Twenty Four: Three Fools Feeding the Chickens, Gambia
Duration:00:13:55
Twenty Five: Stairway to Heaven, The Mighty Buachaille
Duration:00:15:05
Twenty Six: Red Sea Adventure. Two Fools, Eyeball Challenge
Duration:00:25:18
Twenty Seven: Diving the SS Breda: Life Insurance Claim No.1
Duration:00:10:36
Twenty Eight: Cairngorms Avalance Training: Life Insurance Claim No.2
Duration:00:08:37
Twenty Nine: Hitchhikers' Guide to Ireland
Duration:00:10:56
Thirty: Hunting Aliens, Lost in Dargo
Duration:00:24:04
Thirty One: The Professionals, Batman Returns
Duration:00:17:26
Thirty Two: Great Balls of Fire: A True Professional
Duration:00:10:31
Thirty Three: Three Amigos, Captain Sensible Rides Again
Duration:00:28:39
Thirty Four: Ode to Tony Dawes; Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor... Spy?
Duration:00:08:42
Thirty Five: Girls' Night Out, Glasgae Girls Hit the Toon
Duration:00:09:38
Thirty Six: Goan, Gone. Shirley's Wardrobe Malfunction
Duration:00:19:59
Thirty Seven: Brad's Staf, Saving Manking from the Apocalypse Twins
Duration:00:19:09
Thirty Eight: Chad's Stag, Creating the Naked Man
Duration:00:12:11
Thirty Nine: Meeting the Mother of My Children: Part 1
Duration:00:18:48
Forty: Two Fools Attempt Croc Suicide, My Favourite Flip-Flops
Duration:00:17:19
Forty One: Meeting the Mother of My Children: Part 2
Duration:00:09:38
Forty Two: Receiving the Certificate of Life
Duration:00:06:42
Forty Three: The Unmasking of Loki
Duration:00:04:48
Forty Four: Evolution, the Folly of Man
Duration:00:03:59
Closing Credits
Duration:00:00:12