Life According to Brian
B. M. Dawes
Life According to Brian chronicles forty-four stories of mishap and misadventure of a scale unparalleled in modern man. Disguised in comedy to protect the seriously guilty, the story follows Brian’s escapades traversing the world and captures not only the lunacy of life but the luck involved in avoiding one’s own death.
The guidebook for the mentally impaired includes: poaching, drugs, imprisonment, kidnapping, poisonings, alien hunters, crocodile suicide and much, much more…
The sorry episodes are being played out via a game of chess. God and Charles Darwin, seeking to save mankind, are plotting Brian’s untimely demise. The winner of each play gets to choose the method of death. Constantly interrupted by visiting deities, kings, queens and E.T., the two main players are frustrated in their attempts to have some peace and play the game, with a nice cup of tea and some Mr Kipling cake.
Send the kids away, euthanise the cat, find a comfy chair, pour a pint of the finest whisky…have a reliable psychiatrist on speed dial.
Come inside and enjoy the ride…
Duration - 11h 21m.
Author - B. M. Dawes.
Narrator - Jacob Z Klimaszewski.
Published Date - Thursday, 19 January 2023.
Copyright - © 2021 Austin Macauley Publishers ©.
Location:
United States
Networks:
B. M. Dawes
Jacob Z Klimaszewski
Austin Macauley Publishers
English Audiobooks
Findaway Audiobooks
Description:
Life According to Brian chronicles forty-four stories of mishap and misadventure of a scale unparalleled in modern man. Disguised in comedy to protect the seriously guilty, the story follows Brian’s escapades traversing the world and captures not only the lunacy of life but the luck involved in avoiding one’s own death. The guidebook for the mentally impaired includes: poaching, drugs, imprisonment, kidnapping, poisonings, alien hunters, crocodile suicide and much, much more… The sorry episodes are being played out via a game of chess. God and Charles Darwin, seeking to save mankind, are plotting Brian’s untimely demise. The winner of each play gets to choose the method of death. Constantly interrupted by visiting deities, kings, queens and E.T., the two main players are frustrated in their attempts to have some peace and play the game, with a nice cup of tea and some Mr Kipling cake. Send the kids away, euthanise the cat, find a comfy chair, pour a pint of the finest whisky…have a reliable psychiatrist on speed dial. Come inside and enjoy the ride… Duration - 11h 21m. Author - B. M. Dawes. Narrator - Jacob Z Klimaszewski. Published Date - Thursday, 19 January 2023. Copyright - © 2021 Austin Macauley Publishers ©.
Language:
English
Opening Credits
Duración:00:00:11
About the Author
Duración:00:00:51
Dedications
Duración:00:00:33
Invictus
Duración:00:01:00
The Beginning
Duración:00:01:15
One: Family Living, Zambia, 1970s
Duración:00:07:51
Two: Rearranging Mother's Wardrobe, The Mystery Gang Returns
Duración:00:16:26
Three: Four Fools Go Poaching - Escape from Alcatraz
Duración:00:15:19
Four: Half-Term Mayhem - Saving the Family Name
Duración:00:31:41
Five: The Big Send Off, Bare-Faced Cheek
Duración:00:15:09
Six: Off a Balcony, Without a Drainpipe
Duración:00:17:28
Seven: Plain Sailing, Dad's Birthday Treat
Duración:00:13:09
Eight: Dhow Trip. Venus Alighed, Love Conquers All
Duración:00:10:25
Nine: Filipino Dance Off, the Incredible Mr Singh
Duración:00:12:46
Ten: The Italian Job - Death of a Salesman
Duración:00:16:03
Eleven: 21st Birthday Party, The Passing of 'Sally'
Duración:00:15:50
Twelve: Australian Gangsters' Paradise
Duración:00:30:26
Thirteen: Hercey Bay, "Pablo" the Accidental Farmer
Duración:00:12:38
Fourteen: Having a Happy Moment - Hervey
Duración:00:11:16
Fifteen: Two Fools, Shark Bait
Duración:00:13:02
Sixteen: Gone Bush - 21st Party, Meeting an Expert
Duración:00:19:41
Seventeen: Leap of Faith, Flyer Backfire, Queensland
Duración:00:29:53
Eighteen: Thailand: Safe Hands, Act 1
Duración:00:20:50
Nineteen: Bahrain: Safe Hands, Act 2
Duración:00:10:52
Twenty: Making a Meal of It... Dinner's in the Dog
Duración:00:12:48
Twenty One: Great Escape. Kidnapped Morocco
Duración:00:17:47
Twenty Two: Saving the Basking Shark, Cousteau's Last Stand
Duración:00:14:09
Twenty Three: The Wedding Planner. One Fool, Best Man's Speech
Duración:00:15:33
Twenty Four: Three Fools Feeding the Chickens, Gambia
Duración:00:13:55
Twenty Five: Stairway to Heaven, The Mighty Buachaille
Duración:00:15:05
Twenty Six: Red Sea Adventure. Two Fools, Eyeball Challenge
Duración:00:25:18
Twenty Seven: Diving the SS Breda: Life Insurance Claim No.1
Duración:00:10:36
Twenty Eight: Cairngorms Avalance Training: Life Insurance Claim No.2
Duración:00:08:37
Twenty Nine: Hitchhikers' Guide to Ireland
Duración:00:10:56
Thirty: Hunting Aliens, Lost in Dargo
Duración:00:24:04
Thirty One: The Professionals, Batman Returns
Duración:00:17:26
Thirty Two: Great Balls of Fire: A True Professional
Duración:00:10:31
Thirty Three: Three Amigos, Captain Sensible Rides Again
Duración:00:28:39
Thirty Four: Ode to Tony Dawes; Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor... Spy?
Duración:00:08:42
Thirty Five: Girls' Night Out, Glasgae Girls Hit the Toon
Duración:00:09:38
Thirty Six: Goan, Gone. Shirley's Wardrobe Malfunction
Duración:00:19:59
Thirty Seven: Brad's Staf, Saving Manking from the Apocalypse Twins
Duración:00:19:09
Thirty Eight: Chad's Stag, Creating the Naked Man
Duración:00:12:11
Thirty Nine: Meeting the Mother of My Children: Part 1
Duración:00:18:48
Forty: Two Fools Attempt Croc Suicide, My Favourite Flip-Flops
Duración:00:17:19
Forty One: Meeting the Mother of My Children: Part 2
Duración:00:09:38
Forty Two: Receiving the Certificate of Life
Duración:00:06:42
Forty Three: The Unmasking of Loki
Duración:00:04:48
Forty Four: Evolution, the Folly of Man
Duración:00:03:59
Closing Credits
Duración:00:00:12