No Old Ladies in Jannah
Jawaad Khan
A lottery winner accepts Islam the next day—only to realize he probably should've kept the lottery news to himself. A barista who can read Quran gets away with listing "Arabic speaker" on his resume—until the day a man comes in to test him. A talk...
Location:
United States
Description:
A lottery winner accepts Islam the next day—only to realize he probably should've kept the lottery news to himself. A barista who can read Quran gets away with listing "Arabic speaker" on his resume—until the day a man comes in to test him. A talk show host unwittingly asks, "what happens after you die?" to a Muslim audience member who's got a surprise for him. A man intent on memorizing the Quran starts by naming his first daughter Fatihah, his wife unaware of what he plans to name their next daughter. We meet a fella who's jealous of the other kids' favorite "djinn story" teller; a Hollywood hopeful pitching a Quranic Cinematic Universe; and a Muslim man reliving the same day over and over à la Groundhog Day. Along the way, we meet a kid named Simon who doesn't appreciate the "Bismillah game," a variation on Simon Says, a couple who has some amendments to make to their nikah contract, and we learn why you should leave all business behind on Jummah day. Finding inspiration from the marital journeys of Batman and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to the tweaked supplications of an Artificial Intelligence bot, No Old Ladies in Jannah sources comedy from the connecting dots of a Muslim mind in a mainstream world. Exhibiting playfulness with heart, humanity with humor, and traditions with a twist, this debut collection from Jawaad Khan is sure to entertain readers with a variety of themes, subjects, tones, and narrative voices. The many pieces here will take you in all directions, but are ultimately centered by the deft hand of a writer who takes both the silly and the serious quite seriously. Duration - 2h 50m. Author - Jawaad Khan. Narrator - Jawaad Khan. Published Date - Saturday, 18 January 2025.
Language:
English
Opening Credits
Duration:00:00:13
The Legend of Shakoor Azeez
Duration:00:08:25
Quranic Cinematic Universe
Duration:00:06:22
Can You Speak Arabic?
Duration:00:06:47
Youth Programs 101
Duration:00:04:29
Over The Moon
Duration:00:00:24
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Tries To Get Married
Duration:00:00:31
Make Dua For Me
Duration:00:03:10
We Have A Winner
Duration:00:05:31
Yo Momma
Duration:00:00:36
A Teachable Moment
Duration:00:00:23
The Muslim Purge
Duration:00:03:40
The King of Djinn Stories
Duration:00:02:48
Demons Be 'Round
Duration:00:06:15
We'll Cross That Bridge When We Come To It
Duration:00:00:28
The Muslim Psychic
Duration:00:02:30
The Fiqh of Groundhog Day
Duration:00:05:56
Noor Spiritual Photography Services
Duration:00:14:10
The Batman Tries To Get Married
Duration:00:00:40
Jawaad Tries To Get Married
Duration:00:00:11
Yet Another Muslim Rom Com, Again
Duration:00:03:14
Simon Says Bismillah
Duration:00:04:07
Everything That Tastes Good Is Haraam
Duration:00:03:35
DormaDiverse™
Duration:00:03:50
Only God Can Judge Me
Duration:00:01:06
Green Eggs and Ham Are Haraam
Duration:00:01:50
Islam Is In My Heart
Duration:00:03:18
All Good Things
Duration:00:05:51
Life's Biggest Questions
Duration:00:10:28
AI Dua Generator
Duration:00:01:20
The Atomic Khutbah
Duration:00:03:53
The Sub
Duration:00:04:09
Ticket To Jannah™ System
Duration:00:03:48
Wu-dunit
Duration:00:04:41
"The Halal Guys" Spinoff Restaurant
Duration:00:00:54
Jummah Hustlers: A Shark Tank Pitch
Duration:00:03:22
The Worst Eid Gift
Duration:00:03:17
Unreliable Narrator's Hadith Collection
Duration:00:01:26
What Your Madhhab Sign Says About You
Duration:00:04:07
Old Dusty
Duration:00:05:29
The Earpiece
Duration:00:07:21
Nikah Contract Amendments
Duration:00:03:23
Finding Dory At The Dawah Table
Duration:00:00:45
Check, Please?
Duration:00:08:38
The Man Who Takes A Post-Maghrib Nap
Duration:00:00:34
Acknowledgments
Duration:00:02:02
About the Author
Duration:00:00:52
Ending Credits
Duration:00:00:05