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79: Turnabout Intruder: better a gamer than a murderer (maybe)

it's the end of TOS season 3, at last! two episodes in a month means everything's comin up milhouse here at the long trek home. we nitpick a good episode to death because of who we are as people, and encourage a character to Seek Help and Do Speedruns this episode has 2 much gender …


78: All Our Yesterdays: whats up gamers

sometime last year, we watched "All Our Yesterdays" and then talked about it! this one's got time travel and excess nitpicking from the host writing this, sorry. the cops HATE ghosts. that's just science.


77: The Savage Curtain: would abe lincoln wear pants like this or like this

Special guest Rosa joins us to discuss TOS season 3 episode "The Savage Curtain" ...! We talk about books and centaurs for a while, then actually start the episode by discussing actual human presidents and the political situation of the Federation. There are no marching bands in space, and in the future you can say any slur you want. Everyone has captions on. Zizek would hate this episode. War bad. We're back, buds! The podcast is back! What if Liam Neeson played Abe Lincoln? Listen...


76: The Cloud Minders - read the bread book

We watched TOS season 3 episode "The Cloud Minders" and started a communist revolution inside our podcast!!!! there's oppressed workers and thinly veiled metaphors that we discover used to be even less thinly veiled and the whole thing rules, it turns out. watch the episode, listen to the podcast, and read the bread book, in that order. that's my advice. thank you.


75: The Way To Eden: u don't need to be a brain genius

we watched star trek TOS season 3 episode "the way to eden" and boy are our arms tired! wait ok, look, there's space hippies, chelsea talks about getting kettled, and everyone enjoys some gentle space tunes. spock's harp is discussed. did we mention the space hippies? they fuckin. put an egg on your shirt and don your headphones, it's time for the long trek home!


74: Requiem for Methuselah: Don't Let Anyone Trick You Into Drawing Their Fursona

everyone's dying of ADHD and the fate of the enterprise rests with an old man and his robot daughter/wife who has seventeen degrees and is interested in literally everything. the ritalin monopoly must be toppled ... in space. we watched the star trek original series season 3 episode "Requiem for Methuselah" and had ourselves a time!


73: The Lights of Zetar: Live from Memory Alpha, It's Saturday Night

This week, SEM brings us intrepid reporting live from Memory Alpha as we watch the Star Trek TOS season 3 episode "The Lights of Zetar" ...! Scotty falls in love with some lettuce, shields are a war crime, and another cloud menaces the Enterprise. For season 3, this was startlingly watchable!


72: That Which Survives: spacetheists

We managed to survive watching Star Trek TOS season 3's "That Which Survives" and I think you should be proud of us for that feat. In this episode, we learn some geography and geology, discuss podcast listening habits, and Spock is a total asshole for no good reason. Also, Kirk makes some strange assumptions about ghosts.


71: The Mark of Gideon: A Wicker Man Spinoff

The intrepid crew of Long Trek Home watched TOS Season 3 episode "The Mark of Gideon" and had a bad time. Chelsea veers wildly off-topic at every opportunity while SEM valiantly tries to keep things on track. A woman wears a bizarre and terrible outfit. Overcrowding is woefully misunderstood, people walk in circles, and in space no one can hear you scream unless you're not actually in space and then they can. Recorded July 9, 2018


70: Let That Be Your Last Battlefield: Shut Up

this time, SEM's friend Arras (@Animus_Panthera) joined us to discuss Star Trek TOS episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield" ...! Everyone ignores each other a lot as the same questions are asked time and time again. 50,000 years seems like a reasonable amount of time to have grown tired of promises of incremental change. Lokai was right. Oh, yeah, and this is the episode with the dudes with half black/half white faces. Recorded in April 2018. Note: Arras' audio came through...


69: Whom Gods Destroy: nice

episode 69 .... nice in the star trek future, the only mental illness left is Doing War Crimes! oh, serial killing, also, that's another mental illness. everything else is fine, and those are fine now too because of magic space drugs. things get goofy this episode. recorded february 2018. spoilers for black panther.


68: Elaan of Troyius: It's Over 9000

we watched the TOS episode "Elaan of Troyius" with our friend Jeff @heyboots! this bizarre take on taming of the shrew is not very good, probably, but at least kirk/enterprise is confirmed once again. good job, TOS! here's jeff's utena let's play: link


67: The Empath: biblical scholarship edition

this episode has an empath who gets experimented on a lot, which is rough. just say no to human experimentation! sem's mom guest stars as we try and figure out what the fuck scotty is talking about.


66: Wink of an Eye: Gotta Go Fast

some people go very very fast. i don't even know how to describe this episode. this episode was recorded in october 2017, oops!


65: Plato's Stepchildren: Galaxy Brain

please protect alexander, he's very good and we like him star trek happens so much y'all


64: The Tholian Web: brain holes

Sometime in September, we talked about Star Trek: TOS season three episode "The Tholian Web." Kirk goes missing, the Tholians are famed for their punctuality, everyone gets holes in their brains because of dimensions, and Chelsea wants pictures of Spider-Man.


63: For the World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky: Bones Is Married Now

bones is a married man now this episode was recorded in september, but it's out in january! that's the magic of time travel.


62: Day of the Dove: Stop Having Racism

hey, we're back! we watched "day of the dove" back in like august and then chelsea got caught up in moving stuff and forgot what the word editing meant. this episode has klingons, so there's plenty of cold war metaphors and blackface. note: updated 11/29 to fix an audio issue


61: Spectre of the Gun: Wild Wild West

A spectre is haunting Star Trek: The Original Series season 3 - the Spectre of the Gun. All the powers of the Federation have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Kirk and Spock, human and Vulcan, Klingon and Romulan. Where is the federation starship on patrol that has not been waylaid by weird space beings and forced to do gunfights? Where is the federation starship that has not pissed off an alien race so bad those aliens made them hang out on a cobbled-together western...


60: Is There No Truth In Beauty?: Hexagonal Prisms

chelsea and SEM watch TOS season 3 episode "Is There No Truth In Beauty?" the crew is super horny, an alien lives in a box, and spock wears special glasses. it's OK!