Emotional Badass

Predators identify trauma survivors in seconds flat just by watching how you walk into a room. A hunched posture, downward eyes, constantly saying "I'm sorry"... This is a neon sign that screams easy target. Fawning and tiptoeing around people's moods tells manipulators exactly what they want to know: you won't fight back. Predators smell that shift in the air and know they can rewrite reality on you. Love bombing feels like the meal you've been starving for your whole life, but it's just intermittent reinforcement working you like a casino slot machine. When chaos registers as normal for you, and calm feels dangerously boring, your threat detection system is backwards. Time to rewire from prey to predator-proof. Resources: WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 30 Days to Peace Course EmotionalBadass.com/peace THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter SUPPORT US ON PATREON Patreon.com/emotionalbadass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rage bait pulls your strings and your nervous system pays the price. Social media algorithms thrive on making you angry, fearful, and activated because those emotions keep you scrolling longer, but most people can't spot when they're being manipulated. The internet runs on manufactured outrage that tricks your brain into thinking extreme opinions are everywhere when they're actually held by tiny fractions of people. Your caveman survival instincts make you hyper-focus on threats and problems instead of solutions, which is exactly what content creators exploit for engagement. Dead internet theory reveals most online traffic isn't even human anymore, it's bot farms flooding comments to sway opinions and create artificial division. Learning your personal "tells" when rage bait hooks you, like forming an angry response or that frustrated sigh, gives you the pause needed to respond from wisdom instead of activated emotions. Time boxing your apps, curating ruthlessly by blocking anything that activates you, and the 48-hour rule help protect your nervous system from being puppet-mastered by algorithms designed to keep you in fight-or-flight mode. Resources: WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: EmotionalBadass.com/coaching THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter SUPPORT US ON PATREON Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 30 Days to Peace Course EmotionalBadass.com/peace 00:00 How social media algorithms manipulate your emotions 00:55 What is rage bait and why it works 03:15 Why content creators use fear-based engagement tactics 06:40 How to recognize when you're being rage baited 09:55 The psychology behind doom scrolling and hypervigilance 12:10 Why being informed online actually manipulates you 17:00 How fear makes you seek more fearful content 18:40 Stoic perspective on staying informed versus powerless 20:50 Why information addiction feels like a drug hit 22:50 The parasocial outrage cycle explained for HSPs 25:10 How extreme opinions appear more popular online 27:45 Dead internet theory and bot farm manipulation 30:35 Recognizing bot farms in your own content 32:20 How to protect your nervous system online 34:20 Time boxing apps to maintain digital boundaries 35:20 Curating ruthlessly by blocking rage inducing content 36:45 The 48 hour rule for manufactured outrage 38:20 Physical boundaries to stop mindless phone checking 40:30 Replacing scrolling with healthier activities instead 41:35 Dear Internet relationship advice loyalty test drama 47:35 George Orwell's 1984 book recommendation 51:05 Finding beauty in your plan B life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your brain splits off traumatic memories to protect you, but healing means discovering layers you didn't know were buried. A child taught to watch for kidnapping at school can't feel safe even behind fences while other kids play freely, and recording that memory decades later reveals the mind buried the worst part until feeling safe enough to remember. Real-time inner child work demonstrates how placing your hand on your heart and speaking directly to that frightened part creates the relief you've been craving. Abuse survivors feel frustrated when "new" memories surface, but it means you're finally safe enough to handle them, and your sensitivity isn't a flaw but the exact quality that sustains human connection. Resources: WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: EmotionalBadass.com/coaching THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter SUPPORT US ON PATREON Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 30 Days to Peace Course EmotionalBadass.com/peace Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dissociation isn't a personal failure, it's your mind's brilliant survival strategy when trauma overwhelms your system. The mind and body intentionally separate during abuse, creating distance like a referee stopping a brutal boxing match, but this protective mechanism can persist long after you're safe. You learn what it means when your body won't feel what your mind knows is true, why safer people trigger more alarm bells than dangerous ones, and how trauma flip-flops your natural safety detection system. Through five embodiment exercises, you practice reuniting fragmented parts by feeling baby smiles, warm morning rituals, pet devotion, music's beat, and uncontrollable laughter. Integration requires strength training your emotional muscles through repetition, moving wisdom from head knowledge down into body knowledge where real healing lives. This reintegration work isn't optional if you're now in safer circumstances with adult choices available, because continuing to live by what abusers taught your nervous system means they're still abusing you today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Complex PTSD doesn't show up like a broken arm - nobody opens doors for you when your nervous system is on fire. Meghan Judge shares how losing her sister at age two, then her father at twelve, then her best friend in her twenties created a lifetime of hypervigilance that looked like "something wrong with her" instead of what it actually was: a body that learned too early that people disappear without warning. The conversation gets raw about female friendships turning vicious (women can smile while destroying you), parenting teenagers when your trauma tells you everyone you love will die, and why meditation advice feels like trying to light a wet match when your brain writes disaster scripts at 2 AM. There's real talk about the years of misdiagnosis - depression, ADHD, bipolar - before finally understanding this is your nervous system and brain trying to protect you. The relief of finding the right therapist after years of bad fits, permission to need continuous support instead of white-knuckling independence, and why you can't unlearn trauma but you can retrain your system to feel safe again. Find Meghan's Podcast , Judging Meghan, wherever you listen to shows. Find her on Social Media @judgingmeghan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The female mind works like an intricate spider web - connecting threads across time, memory, intuition, and care - which makes women's capacity for love extraordinarily powerful, but when twisted into bullying becomes devastatingly cruel. The same mental architecture that creates profound nurturing can transform into covert psychological warfare that reshapes perception with five words or less, magnifies mistakes across decades, and undermines targets while smiling. The stark contrast between male and female bullying patterns gets unpacked through evolutionary psychology, showing why female cruelty often feels more confusing and harder to escape than direct male aggression. External female bullying can be internalized as a vicious self-critical voice that can become harmful to ourselves - not from sadness like movies portray, but from rage and disgust. The path forward involves recognizing these patterns, reclaiming healthy feminine power, and learning to spot, boundary, and avoid these dynamics while building genuine female connections rooted in love rather than control. 💖JOIN OUR PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Boundaries aren't walls to keep people out - they're your foundation for freedom, and most people get this completely wrong. Growing up in chaos teaches your nervous system that disappointing someone equals death, making you a gold medal people pleaser who manages everyone else's emotions while ignoring your own. Traditional boundary advice like "just say no" fails because it treats complex trauma responses like simple choices. Real boundary work starts with internal boundaries - learning to sit with discomfort instead of people-pleasing your way out, recognizing when you abandon yourself, and understanding that your anxiety might be your soul screaming for you to stop treating yourself like nothing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nikki and Chris dive into their transformative experience at Emily Schromm's The Challenge Retreat Season 2, a wellness adventure in California’s stunning Teravana ranch, where they tackle grueling physical challenges and unexpected emotional breakthroughs. Despite personal grief and burnout, they push through steep hill races and puzzles, discovering resilience they didn’t know they had. Nikki’s horse therapy session sparks a vision for future retreats, with possible Donkey's, while Chris confronts childhood money fears through new investment strategies. Their raw reflections on boundaries, from rehoming pets to navigating relationships, inspire us to embrace discomfort for growth. Curious about Chris's fourth-place finish? Check Emily Schromm’s site for more. The Challenge Retreat Season 2:https://www.emilyschromm.com/retreat 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CODE: BADASS for $50 off 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Violence like Charlie Kirk’s assassination or the recent Evergreen school shooting hits hard, especially for sensitive souls, but you can shield your nervous system from trauma’s grip. Talk out the details with trusted people to release the tension—your brain’s snapshot isn’t meant to haunt you, it’s trying to keep you safe. Write it out, don’t chase drama’s addictive rush, and refuse to globalize horror into hopelessness. Send prayers or intentions for healing, even for those you disagree with, to reclaim peace. Honor life’s brevity by choosing resilience over fragility, and let nightmares process without fighting them. Be the tolerance and strength you crave in a chaotic world Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most empaths and highly sensitive people get labeled as stubborn, but this trait might actually be a superpower. Stubbornness gets reframed from negative to positive, examining how HSPs develop this quality as protection in invalidating environments. Narcissistic parents view stubborn children as threats, creating shame around boundaries and independent thinking. Childhood stubbornness often masks deeper needs like safety that adults miss. Positive stubbornness becomes tenacity, authenticity, and leadership backbone for breaking cycles and maintaining values. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CODE: BADASS for $50 off 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chris shares the raw reality of losing his father suddenly at 72 and how grief reveals the power of positive masculinity. Traditional masculine norms taught men to suppress emotions and avoid vulnerability, but this episode demonstrates a different path by processing pain rather than bottling it up. The discussion covers how an older generation was conditioned to never seek therapy or discuss problems, leading emotions to emerge sideways. The intense three-day Italian Catholic funeral process is described and how forcing through the full mourning ritual actually helped move grief through the system faster. There's discussion of a mysterious final phone call from his father exactly 30 days before his death, when they had no cell service in the mountains where his dad asked them to find a spot for his ashes. The conversation explores how losing a parent forces psychological maturation and how embracing both sadness and positivity creates authentic emotional processing rather than toxic positivity. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CODE: BADASS for $50 off 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The term "daddy issues" points to what happens when you don't get healthy fathering. A good father figure provides grounding and stability - like being the kite string that keeps you tethered while you soar. They teach protection through boundaries, not control, and help you learn the difference between genuine care and manipulation. Healthy fathers mirror back your strength and identity, offer direction without forcing their views, and model accountability by showing that strength and vulnerability go together. Their approval is foundational, not conditional - you don't have to earn love through people-pleasing. Eventually, they bless your independence instead of trying to keep you small. When you miss out on this kind of fathering, you can end up defensive, approval-seeking, or struggling with boundaries. The healing work means learning to reparent yourself and give yourself what you didn't get. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-betrayal starts in childhood when trauma teaches you to ignore what your gut is telling you and go straight into overthinking mode just to survive. Your intuition isn't something you think about - it's something you feel deep in your center, quiet and calm, while anxiety creates this crazy mental chaos that spins you out. As kids, trauma survivors had to shut down their inner knowing to avoid getting hurt worse, which creates these lifelong habits of people-pleasing and abandoning yourself. Healing is about giving yourself permission to trust your gut again and act on it, even when it makes other people uncomfortable. You need safe relationships to help your intuition grow back - toxic people just shut it down. Trauma also disconnects you from your body, which is actually a huge part of how you receive intuitive messages. Good boundaries keep the drama out so you can actually hear what your inner wisdom is trying to tell you. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this heartfelt episode, we're navigating grief after the sudden loss of my father-in-law, Chris's dad; George. We revisit a throwback discussion on the five stages of grief - denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance - but with a deeper understanding of how these stages work. Grief doesn't follow a neat checklist and we often move back and forth between stages. The episode breaks down how denial acts as a protective buffer, why anger surfaces when we feel powerless, and how depression weighs us down. There is a bargaining phase where we try to make deals with the universe, and ultimately reach acceptance by letting go of the fight against what we cannot control. As well as some practical ways to process grief, like writing and speaking aloud, plus a meaningful candle ritual for releasing what we've lost and embracing hope for moving forward. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you grew up with narcissistic or emotionally immature parents, you know the frustration of having all the head knowledge about healing but struggling to actually feel calm in your body. This episode explains why you learned to dissociate and live in your head as a survival mechanism during childhood trauma. We dive into how children of narcissistic parents take on too much responsibility and develop an inner adolescent part that resists guidance and change. Through practical breathing exercises, you experience what it means to get out of your head and into your body, connecting with your wise adult self rather than letting that defensive inner adolescent drive your life. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy 400th Episode!!! I sit down with Chris to talk about the fascinating connection between stage fright and sensitivity. So many of us carry this primal fear of being watched, and it can trigger deep nervous system responses that we don’t always understand. Chris shares his journey from doing magic tricks in kindergarten to performing on stage thousands of times, and how setting boundaries with fear helped him let go of performance anxiety. We get into the science—mirror neurons, sensitivity, and how our bodies can pick up and mirror other people's nervous systems. I share how being around Chris’s calm energy helped me build the confidence I needed to start podcasting.And in our “Good for the Soul” segment, we share the small, simple things that have been helping us feel grounded and nourished lately. Chris describes his latest passion for homemade sausage making, while I talk about discovering authentic sourdough bread that doesn't trigger my usual digestive issues. This segment reflects our belief that mental health includes nurturing all aspects of ourselves, from creative pursuits to simple pleasures that feed our souls. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Continuing with part two of How to Repair after a fight, we discover that apologies are actually the easy part - the true work lies in learning co-regulation and validation without falling into shame or defensive patterns. Mental health work means accepting that sometimes repair happens on different timelines, and that's okay. I'm walking through the exact steps for offering connection after conflict, including why "right fighting" kills intimacy and how to create repair jars for when your brain goes into survival mode. For HSPs and anyone doing trauma recovery, these boundary-setting and validation skills are non-negotiable for healthy relationships. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fights happen. But for HSPs and survivors of dysfunctional families, repairing after conflict can feel terrifying. In this episode, I teach what I wish someone had taught me decades ago—how to repair conflict with emotional strength, regulate your nervous system, and stop shame from taking over. Mental health isn’t about being perfect. It’s about learning the skills we were never taught. I’ll help you understand the difference between guilt and shame, and how to reconnect with your inner child and loved ones after rupture. This is real mental health work—practical, empowering, and full of heart. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Going no contact with family isn’t a straight line—and sometimes it shows up in your dreams. We talk about the complex grief of family estrangement, the truth about recurring dreams, and what your subconscious might be trying to process. Reframing our nightmares can help you build trust with your inner child. We’ll explore the deeper meaning of these dreams, the struggle of detaching, and how to bring your power back—even in your subconscious. If you’ve ever woken up haunted by your past, this is your sign that healing is happening 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Relationships and family dysfunction are two complex yet vital pieces of the mental health puzzle that come together when my husband Chris joins me on the mic today, sharing our perspectives as an Italian Yankee married to a Southern belle. We unpack the realities of dating as Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), share our personal online dating journeys—complete with quirky stories—and highlight how cultural differences shape our subconscious relationship dynamics. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by dating apps, family dysfunction, or subtle misunderstandings, you'll find relatable insights and practical solutions here to boost your emotional resilience and personal growth. 🚧 THE BOUNDARIES INTENSIVE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://EmotionalBadass.com/boundaries⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💖 PATREON: https://Patreon.com/emotionalbadass 👨‍👨 WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: https://EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 📰 THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER https://www.EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices