Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse

In this episode Hecate discusses why menstruation can be triggering for survivors, especially for those who have been assaulted during their periods. Hecate provides statistics from medical studies indicating that a significant percentage of SA survivors were menstruating at the time of their assault. The combined social stigmas against speaking about SA and menstruation mean this is an experience that is not being talked about enough, leading to even greater feelings of isolation and shame. The episode also addresses some of the challenges of managing periods post-trauma, and different menstrual products through a survivor’s lens. With personal anecdotes and research-backed insights, this episode aims to provide a voice to the often unspoken and overlooked intersection of menstruation and SA trauma. Hecate hopes this episode will help other survivors who have had this experience feel less alone. Tw/Cw: SA (and some details of assaults), R*pe, PTSD, menstruation, substances, and strong language. Links and References: Cardenas, K., Wiersma, G., Dykema, J., Rossman, L., Fedewa, J., & Jones, J. S. (2011). 279 impact of the victim’s menstrual cycle phase on genital injuries following sexual assault. Annals of Emergency Medicine, 58(4). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.annemergmed.2011.06.309 Gollapudi, M., Thomas, A., Yogarajah, A., Ospina, D., Daher, J. C., Rahman, A., Santistevan, L., Patel, R. V., Abraham, J., Oommen, S. G., & Siddiqui, H. F. (2024). Understanding the interplay between premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) and female sexual dysfunction (FSD). Cureus, 16(6). https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.62788 Noll, J. G., Trickett, P. K., Long, J. D., Negriff, S., Susman, E. J., Shalev, I., Li, J. C., & Putnam, F. W. (2017). Childhood sexual abuse and early timing of puberty. Journal of Adolescent Health, 60(1), 65–71. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2016.09.008 Vu, A., Moaddel, V., Emmerich, B., Rossman, L., Bach, J., Seamon, J., Barnes, M., Ouellette, L., & Jones, J. (2023). Association between the victim’s menstrual cycle phase and genital injuries following sexual assault. Clinical Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 6(2), 038–042. https://doi.org/10.29328/journal.cjog.1001127 *Thank you again to my sister Chie for their invaluable help with research and citations!* Articles about the heavy metals found in tampons: https://factor.niehs.nih.gov/2024/8/feature/3-feature-metals-in-tampons https://publichealth.berkeley.edu/articles/spotlight/research/first-study-to-measure-toxic-metals-in-tampons-shows-arsenic-and-lead https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160412024004355#:~:text=Across%20those%20studies%2C%20a%20range,et%20al.%2C%202022). Lucky Iron Fish: https://luckyironlife.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorbSgfTM6sE3c6r-IRy3MNC0u-i8v-S4-s5lkZPo89aSCXJvEfj Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/c/HecateFindingOK Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl... Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warnings 01:17 Menstruation and Trauma 07:47 Challenges with Sanitary Products 12:14 Personal Experiences of Assault During Menstruation 15:58 Statistics and Research on Assault During Menstruation 21:01 Triggers and Coping Mechanisms 32:08 Conclusion and Support 3 Support the show

In this episode I speak with Alisa Zipursky about her book 'Healing Honestly,' a powerful resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Alisa and I discuss the legitimacy of traumatic memory, the harmful myth of False Memory Syndrome, and the journey of healing through self-acceptance and community support. Alisa shares insights on overcoming self-blame and self-shame, parenting as a survivor, and finding strength in connections. Whether you're a survivor yourself or supporting one, this episode offers valuable perspectives and reassurances. TW/CW: Childhood sexual abuse, Family Abuse, PTSD, Eating Disorders, body image, and strong language. Episode Notes: Healing Honestly by Alisa Zipursky: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/726361/healing-honestly-by-alisa-zipursky/ Alisa's Website: https://healinghonestly.com/ Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdblxxVBeNzq1LFwzjN9g?si=G99NwDuSQBqRGWZi53BoZg Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction and Opening Monologue 00:55 Welcome to Finding OK 01:13 Interview with Alisa Zipursky 03:07 Trigger Warnings and Support 04:10 Personal Reflections and Parenting 06:20 Stepping into Power and Activism 15:45 Healing and Self-Care 24:15 The Importance of Connection 42:36 Healing Without Clear Memory 51:01 The Origin of DARVO and False Memory Syndrome 52:36 The Impact of False Memory Syndrome Foundation 54:39 Media Influence and Public Perception 57:11 Personal Experiences and Societal Harm 58:56 Challenging Harmful Narratives 01:02:04 The Importance of Community and Support 01:03:46 Healing and Self-Acceptance 01:05:52 Navigating Parenthood as a CSA Survivor 01:15:02 Final Thoughts and Encouragement 01:34:58 Closing Remarks and Gratitude Support the show

In this episode of Finding OK, I interview Polish LGBTQ+ comic artist Monika, best known for her series 'My Secret Lesbian Comics.' Monika shares her journey as a survivor of child abuse and discusses how she processes her trauma and finds healing through her side project, 'Self-pity Social Club.' We discuss the impact of her abusive mother, the decision to go no contact, and navigating relationships within her family afterwards. Monika also shares some powerful tools from therapy, offers advice to other survivors, and talks about the importance of creativity and friendship in her healing journey. I love Monika's work and I'm so grateful I got to speak with her! Tw/Cw: Child abuse, PTSD, depression, suicide, and strong language. Episode Notes: Monika's Links: https://linktr.ee/mysecretlesbiancomics?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAae7yjg_9oQIvXxzLaaJe7wkVOTud8vqZX3JaqAaWaWBpiYc-EEZZKRhtKKmnQ_aem_QZxxyNZ_UQo6e53MXnGuug Self-pity Social Club: https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/self-pity-social-club/list?title_no=788807 Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection 00:55 Welcome to Finding OK 01:12 Meet Monika: Polish LGBTQ+ Comic Artist 03:29 Trigger Warnings and Support 04:41 Interview Begins: Monika's Journey 04:57 Navigating Family Dynamics 06:11 Generational Shifts in Mental Health 12:29 Celebrating Compliments and Self-Care 16:22 The Birth of a Comic Artist 27:38 Self-Pity Social Club: A Personal Project 36:29 Sisterly Bonding Over a Difficult Mother 36:48 Financial Manipulation and Emotional Abuse 38:07 Moving to England and Financial Struggles 39:02 Discovering Mother's Deceit 39:41 Manipulative Pity Tactics 47:27 The Wedding Day Incident 50:51 The Fake Suicide Attempt 58:29 Cutting Ties and Setting Boundaries 01:01:22 Family Dynamics and Childhood Abuse 01:07:45 Validating Experiences and Healing 01:11:52 Family Party Drama 01:12:10 Unwanted Attention 01:12:32 Confrontation and Realization 01:13:48 Family Dynamics and Tensions 01:17:02 Listener Questions 01:17:46 Navigating No Contact 01:19:17 Handling Family Events 01:24:00 Therapy and Healing 01:32:43 Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts 01:40:53 Queer Joy and Creativity 01:43:44 Final Thoughts and Farewell Support the show

In this episode of Finding OK, Hecate returns after a year-long hiatus to provide an update on the podcast and share personal insights on intersectionality, kyriarchy, and the importance of understanding systemic oppression as part of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Hecate discusses the interconnectedness of personal trauma and broader social injustices, and emphasizes the need for community and collective action against systems of oppression. The episode encourages listeners to engage with their communities, leverage their unique gifts for activism, and maintain hope and resilience in tough times. Tw/Cw: Suicide, depression, PTSD, the subject of sexual assault and abuse, fascism, and genocide. 00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection 00:56 Podcast Update and Mental Health Struggles 05:13 Intersectionality and Systems of Oppression 14:49 The Personal is Political 29:30 Call to Action and Community Building 35:03 Finding Connection and Staying Grounded 36:24 The Power of Authenticity 38:51 Building Community Through Twitch 42:36 Facing Fascism and Finding Resources 49:02 Supporting Palestine and Fundraising Efforts 52:14 Mental Health and Activism 56:39 The River Metaphor: Different Ways to Help 01:02:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement Links: Podcast Website: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Join Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Hecate's PCRF Fundraiser: https://donate.tiltify.com/4125341b-4f0d-43e0-b017-0019a82b8dde/details Decolonizing Therapy: https://www.decolonizingtherapy.com/ Black Liturgies on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/blackliturgies/?hl=en DevthePineapple on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/devthepineapple/?hl=en Check out Signal for a secure messaging app that won't sell you or your comrades out to the cops: https://signal.org/ YK Hong (An activist to follow everywhere): https://ykhong.com/ Free Zine about fighting Fascism: https://itsgoingdown.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DontJustDoNothing_CounterFascism_IMPOSED.pdf Free Zine about resisting Oligarchy: https://www.instagram.com/p/DFgWbIVPfk1/?img_index=1 Printable Brochure Version: https://www.canva.com/design/DAGdx0uhGuQ/r7PQuF6JlQG6GnzT7iwbRw/edit?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaby7YCPCiYHjNnaDNuFa8b5MwzlqI2OAIrnKGUYE9sK9ML9SVSSRkvV8mk_aem_RuQok6tkGVOdY_XtOOQgSw Support the show

Demo episode recorded to promote Finding OK's creation. Healing Affirmations are read in full. TW/CW: The healing affirmations can be emotional. please check in with yourself before listening. Support the show (https://www.gofundme.com/f/FindingOK&rcid=r01-156555686863-2a82c9c69b044812&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w)