MindSorter

Our Developmental Desires With the world in such a state of change—especially as we approach another election—I find myself thinking about what really drives us at different stages of life. It’s not just about individual wants; it’s about how these core desires we hold shape our development, connect us generationally, and ultimately steer the future we’re building together. As I explore these concepts for my book, The Quantum Age: The Future of Humanity Right Now, I wanted to share how our evolving desires can tell us a lot about where we’ve been and where we’re headed. This episode dives deep into a framework I’m developing around these “developmental desires”—needs that seem universal across generations. For those of you who like reading in-depth, I’m laying out much of it here, but I invite you to listen to the full episode to get the nuanced context and backstory behind each insight. If these topics resonate, consider becoming a premium subscriber to support and join these ongoing explorations. Note: Premium subscription costs will be going up but if you subscribe early you lock in that price. New subscriptions will include a mini-course to support using AI for self-coaching. The Evolution of Desires Through Generational Lenses As I dig into this work, it’s clear that these stages of desire don’t exist in a vacuum. Each generation brings its own lens to these desires, transforming them based on the cultural, political, and social dynamics of their time. In generational theory, this “cycle of desires” spans roughly 80 to 100 years, moving through four distinct eras: the high (spring), the awakening (summer), the unraveling (fall), and the crisis (winter). And within these eras, we see archetypes—prophet, nomad, hero, artist—that shape how each generation interacts with the world. The Desire to be Welcomed and Loved We all start with a basic need: to be welcomed. This isn’t just emotional; it’s primal. The sense of belonging is survival itself. If you grow up feeling like an outsider or unwelcome, it can leave an impact that sticks around, influencing everything from your self-worth to your sense of security in relationships. As we grow, this need deepens into the desire to be loved. I think this stage is about finding reassurance that our dependency is not a burden. It’s when we learn—hopefully—that we are valuable simply because we are here. Finding Protection and Belonging Beyond the desire for love, there’s a pull to find a group where we feel protected. This is where we step into our chosen communities or subcultures, and I see this particularly strongly in generations like Gen X, who embraced a more tribal, “us vs. them” approach to life. Protection here means having people who’ve got your back—friends, peers, or a subculture that validates who you are. At this stage, identity starts to solidify, though sometimes in exclusive ways. I often think back to my own experiences, feeling like part of a countercultural subculture, and how much of a safe space that was for exploring who I was. The Need to be Remembered and Rewarded As we mature, there’s a desire to leave a mark. For Boomers, this often meant carving out a visible legacy through career achievements, family roles, or societal contributions, whether in politics, business, or the arts. Personally, I feel that legacy is about building something meaningful—be it a family, a career, or even small acts that create a sense of lasting impact. At the same time, this desire can be about immediate rewards and recognition, especially as we enter a stage where ambition drives us to seek validation and success in tangible ways. Seeking Acceptance In later years, our focus often shifts to the desire for acceptance, both of ourselves and of others. This stage is complex, especially in a society that’s constantly evolving. It involves seeing ourselves and others clearly, with all the biases and baggage we carry. For Millennials, I see this as a generation’s move...

This article’s voiceover was created with ElevenLabs. In my ongoing journey of self-coaching using ChatGPT, I've been diving deep into the Gene Keys system—a complex, esoteric framework that, at times, can feel overwhelming. The beauty of this journey, though, is that I can take it one thread at a time, asking questions and exploring concepts as they arise. This approach has allowed me to dissect and explore far-sightedness, a gift from Gene Key 17, which arises when we move beyond the shadow of opinion. But recently, a question has been on my mind: What is the difference between far-sightedness and anxiety? This question came to the forefront after my wife and I watched Inside Out 2, a movie that touches on the theme of anxiety. It got me thinking: Anxiety often involves future pacing, planning, and a desire for control. It’s easy for someone with anxiety to say they’re being “far-sighted” because they’re thinking ahead. But is it really the same thing? So, I asked ChatGPT, and through our conversation, I began to see the differences more clearly. Here’s what emerged, both from our discussion and my own reflections. Far-Sightedness: Seeing the Big Picture In the Gene Keys, far-sightedness is about having a big-picture perspective. It’s the ability to see patterns and trends over time, to observe how things are unfolding without getting lost in the details. This gift emerges from moving past the shadow of opinion—a shadow that tends to get stuck in narrow thinking, obsessing over being right or needing certainty. When I’m in a state of far-sightedness, I feel like I can see the forest for the trees. It’s a perspective that’s calm, detached, and curious. Far-sightedness allows me to look ahead and recognize possible futures, but without the emotional urgency that comes with anxiety. It’s a way of being open to the unknown, accepting that I can’t control every outcome, but trusting that I can navigate what comes. In this sense, far-sightedness feels like holding space for multiple possibilities—it’s about being prepared, not panicked. Anxiety: The Urgency of Control On the other hand, anxiety is a different beast. As I reflected on the movie Inside Out 2 and the scenes that depicted anxiety, I could see how anxiety is driven by a need for certainty and a fear of the unknown. It’s about wanting to have control over the future, trying to plan every detail, and often fixating on worst-case scenarios. While it might feel like thinking ahead, the emotional tone is completely different. Anxiety is urgent, restless, and emotionally charged. It comes with a sense of looming threat—the mind is racing, trying to find solutions to what might go wrong. In my own experience, anxiety doesn’t just look at the future; it tries to force the future into a specific shape, often out of a desire to avoid discomfort or uncertainty. Real-World Reflections: A World on Edge It’s easy to see these dynamics playing out in the world around us. With global conflicts escalating and natural disasters like Hurricane Helene and Hurricane Milton hitting hard, there’s a collective anxiety that many of us feel. As we watch difficult events unfold, it’s natural for the mind to race into the future—wondering how these events will impact us, our loved ones, and the world at large. But what I’m starting to understand is that this collective anxiety often comes from a lack of trust—trust in ourselves, trust in the resilience of others, and even trust in the unfolding of life. It’s as if we’ve lost a healthy dose of fear—not the kind that tries to control, but the kind that recognizes the mystery of life and respects it. I’ve been exploring how these big-picture changes we’re witnessing—both in the environment and society—are often the result of a loss of faith and trust. It’s as if we’re trying to brace ourselves against the unknown instead of learning to surrender to it. In this way, I see far-sightedness as a form of faith—a willingness to see what lies...

As I’ve been navigating midlife myself, I’ve started to reflect on what it means to be a Millennial in this phase of life—especially as we begin to reckon with the emotional undercurrents that have shaped our experiences. It feels like we’ve been handed a world that’s shifting under our feet, with expectations placed on us by Baby Boomer parents while we’re also raising Gen Alpha children. And in the midst of all of this, I’m realizing that the real work—at least for me—isn’t about trying to change the world externally, but more about coming to terms with my own internal world. Uncovering the Shadows We’ve Inherited Growing up, many of us had to emotionally parent our Baby Boomer parents. I know for me, there was this constant sense that their emotions needed managing, and it wasn’t always clear who was going to take care of mine. This has created a generation hyper-aware of emotional nuances, mental health, and boundaries—but also, we’ve been left feeling a bit anxious about our own emotional needs. Now, it’s easy for Millennials to point fingers and say that Baby Boomers are responsible for the challenges we face, but I’ve moved beyond that. What I’ve come to realize is that each generation responds to the world they were born into. Baby Boomers didn’t choose to be born in a time of post-war prosperity or grow up under the threat of nuclear war. Just like us, they were shaped by the pressures of their era, and that influenced their desire for consumer freedom, independence, and, often, emotional unfilteredness. They weren’t trying to make things harder for us—they were just responding to their circumstances, just as we are responding to ours. Parenting and Emotional Hypervigilance In becoming a parent, I’ve noticed that I’ve been overcompensating in ways that reflect my own need for control. There’s this gentle parenting movement that many Millennials, including myself, have embraced. We’re trying to be more attuned to our kids’ emotions, to really listen and give them space. But I’ve also noticed that sometimes, I let my kids take the lead more than I probably should—maybe because I don’t want to deal with the emotional fallout of setting a boundary. For example, I’ve seen this dynamic play out when I let my kids make decisions, even about little things, like where to go or when to sleep. It’s like I’m outsourcing the responsibility of setting limits because that feels safer than risking emotional conflict. But the more I think about it, the more I see that this reflects my own struggle with conflict avoidance. In trying to avoid tension, I’m also avoiding the opportunity to teach my kids about real-world boundaries. The Contrast with Gen Z At the same time, I’ve been noticing how different this approach is compared to Gen Z, who seem to have a much more pragmatic relationship with the world. Whereas I (and many other Millennials) were taught to value emotional friendliness and customer service, Gen Z seems less interested in playing that game. They’re not faking smiles or enthusiasm—they’re just here to get the job done. I wonder if this comes from the high expectations placed on them by Gen X parents, who were more focused on efficiency and getting things done quickly. It’s a striking contrast to how I was raised, and it’s interesting to see how these generational differences play out. Gen Z’s approach to work and life feels more detached in some ways, maybe because they aren’t carrying the same emotional baggage we Millennials inherited from Boomers. Watching Gen Alpha Grow Then there’s Gen Alpha—my kids’ generation. They’re still young, but I can already see some of the patterns emerging. They’re growing up in a world where everything is hyper-monitored, and there’s a lot of protection around them. But that doesn’t mean they’re being prepared for the unpredictability of the real world. Their experiences are often digital or controlled, and I wonder how that will shape their relationship with boundaries and...

In the world of personal growth, we often focus on eliminating what we consider "negative" parts of ourselves. We think if our ego shows up differently each day, something must be wrong. But development isn't linear, and we all host multiple ego states that serve unique purposes depending on our circumstances. This is especially clear through the lens of developmental psychology, particularly models like the Stages model and Spiral Dynamics. Both theories shed light on our evolving selves: Spiral Dynamics frames development within a collective and anthropological context, while the Stages model focuses on individual growth through different perspectives. If you’re familiar with both, you probably understand the complexity of ego states we navigate daily. And while it may seem overwhelming to honor all these inner voices, recognizing their purpose allows us to ease internal conflict. Why We Should Embrace Multiple Ego States From childhood to adulthood, we develop different "voices" that align with our growth stages. These perspectives aren’t inherently harmful—what causes discomfort is often our relationship with these internal voices. If you’ve ever felt like a younger part of you is “getting in the way” of your growth, you’re not alone. It’s tempting to elevate the more advanced, spiritual ego state and disregard the rest. But each stage, from the childlike first-person view to the more complex fourth-person understanding, plays a vital role in our psychological development. Take, for example, the early stages of our lives, where we operate in the first-person perspective. As toddlers, the world is ours for the taking. We’re driven by pure instinct and need, and we don’t yet recognize that others have desires separate from our own. As we move into the second-person perspective, friendships emerge, and with them, the desire to understand how others see us. This relational view is essential for developing empathy and social navigation, but it also introduces conformity, often at the cost of authenticity. By the time we reach the third and fourth-person perspectives, we’re balancing individual desires with the larger societal framework, understanding that we’re part of a collective. The ego state becomes even more complex as we develop ideals for how the world should be. It’s at this point that the spiritual ego can begin to take root. The Rise of the Spiritual Ego At advanced stages, the spiritual ego often emerges as the “enlightened” voice, tempting us to place it above all others. We may feel that because we’ve accessed deeper awareness, we’ve somehow transcended our earlier, more “primitive” ego states. But this belief is precisely where spiritual elitism sneaks in. We fall into the trap of believing that the spiritual ego is the “correct” or “higher” self while disregarding the importance of earlier ego states. The truth is, all of these voices—whether the toddler who craves attention, the second-person who seeks connection, or the third-person who strives for societal contribution—are valid and necessary parts of the human experience. The spiritual ego is simply another state in the continuum. It doesn’t erase or replace the others. Healing Through Developmental Coaching One of the biggest revelations in developmental psychology is the importance of integrating all stages of growth. Each perspective offers unique wisdom. The key is to avoid letting any one ego state dominate. This is where developmental coaching becomes so valuable—helping us bring awareness to the various parts of ourselves, understanding their roles, and ultimately, learning to balance them. In my personal coaching and development work, I've found that honoring these different stages requires a combination of empathy, awareness, and strategic action. Whether it’s helping clients navigate early childhood trauma or releasing the hold of the spiritual ego, the process always involves balancing these voices rather than suppressing them. If...

Today, I want to talk about something deeply personal, and something that I feel compelled to release—my relationship with moral superiority. It’s a topic that’s been occupying my mind for a while now, and it feels like the right moment to dive into it, especially since this reflection ties into asking for something that doesn’t come easily to me: help. For a long time, I’ve struggled with the idea of surrender, particularly the kind of surrender that feels like giving up or being defeated. But lately, I’ve been realizing that surrender doesn’t have to mean defeat. It can be about trust—trusting in a process, in something bigger than myself. It can also be about asking for help, something that challenges my instinct to handle everything on my own. The Weight of Moral Superiority Moral superiority has been a recurring theme in my life. I’ve found myself struggling with the feeling of needing to be "better" or "right" in certain situations, often triggered by those who seem to hold a rigid moral high ground. I’ve noticed this in my reactions to figures like Jordan Peterson or in my past prejudices, particularly toward religious middle-class individuals. There’s something in their perceived certainty that rubs me the wrong way, probably because I recognize those tendencies in myself. It wasn’t until recently that I began to acknowledge this as a projection—something that I have inside but haven’t fully processed. Growing up, I was quite rebellious, fighting against the religious teachings that surrounded me. I felt morally superior for questioning and rejecting the norms. That teenage zealot in me wanted to fight everything I thought was wrong with the world. Somewhere along the way, though, I buried that side of myself, playing along to fit in with society, only for that moral superiority to resurface later in life in subtler ways. Releasing the Need to Be "Right" This brings me to the heart of my current work—letting go of that need to be morally superior, which is really just a defense mechanism, a response to fear. Fear of being wrong, fear of being judged, fear of rejection. It’s a pattern that keeps me stuck in judgment and isolation, making it harder to truly connect with others. One of the toughest things I’ve had to confront is the realization that my moral superiority has caused harm in my relationships. I can trace it back to my previous marriage, where I often acted out of a place of righteousness rather than compassion. That’s a wound I’m still working through, and it’s something I’m committed to being more conscious of. Asking for Help And now, in the spirit of surrender, I find myself in a situation where I need to ask for financial help. It’s not easy, but the reality is, I’m in a tough spot. Between back taxes, child support, and rent, it’s been a challenging year. I’ve applied for jobs and freelance gigs but haven’t had much luck. So, I’m reaching out to you—my listeners and readers—because I need your support. If you’ve found value in the work I do, whether it’s through my podcast, courses, or writings, I would greatly appreciate any help you can provide. There are a few ways to do this. You can check out my course The Wisdom of the Three Centers on Udemy, which explores the head, heart, and gut centers and how to use them to make more aligned decisions in life. Or, you can become a premium subscriber on Substack, where I plan to offer more premium content in the future. If you prefer a simpler route, I also have a Patreon, where your contributions directly support my ongoing work. What Surrender Looks Like Now Asking for help has felt like prostration—a deep bow to the universe, trusting that something will come through. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, a mix of vulnerability and faith. But maybe that’s the point. Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up; it means opening up. It means letting go of control, of needing to know the outcome, and allowing others to step in. Through this process, I’ve also...

Faith is a word loaded with meaning. For some, it evokes images of religious devotion—rituals, prayers, and sacred texts. For others, especially atheists or non-theists, it might feel like a distant concept, tied too closely to religion to be useful. But what if faith is more than belief in a higher power or adherence to religious doctrine? What if faith is something we all need, regardless of our spiritual orientation? Whether you’re deeply religious or firmly non-religious, faith plays a critical role in how we navigate life. And yet, many people—especially those who believe they are walking in faith—may not realize they’re lacking it. In contrast, others who identify as non-theists might unknowingly be grappling with the same issue from a different angle. This is where faith in existence, as opposed to faith in faith, becomes a transformative idea. Faith in Faith vs. Faith in Existence Many of us, consciously or unconsciously, place our faith in faith itself. We believe that if we think or pray hard enough, things will go our way. We wait for miracles, hoping that simply maintaining "faith" will be enough to change our circumstances. But this form of faith, while comforting, can often lead us astray. It keeps us passive, waiting for external forces to step in and save us. On the other hand, faith in existence—or faith in life itself—requires something more from us. It’s not about hoping things will go our way; it’s about trusting that life is unfolding as it needs to, even if we can’t always see why. This form of faith invites us to participate in the process of life actively. It doesn’t ask us to sit back and wait for divine intervention. Instead, it asks us to recognize the opportunities around us and act on them, understanding that we are co-creators in whatever comes next. This is a faith that transcends religion. Whether you believe in a god, a universal force, or simply the flow of life, faith in existence means trusting that you’re a part of something bigger, even if that something isn’t neatly defined by spiritual or religious terms. The Spiritual Ego: A Subtle Trap One of the most challenging obstacles to true faith—whether religious or spiritual—is the trap of the spiritual ego. The spiritual ego disguises itself as wisdom and enlightenment, but it’s just another form of ego, obsessed with control and self-importance. For religious people, this can manifest as a kind of spiritual superiority—believing that your faith makes you more righteous or morally correct than others. For non-theists, it can take the form of intellectual superiority—assuming that being "above" religion gives you a clearer, more rational perspective. In either case, the spiritual ego blinds us to the reality of our own limitations and keeps us from experiencing the fullness of faith. When we’re caught in the trap of the spiritual ego, faith becomes something performative. It’s not about surrendering to life’s unfolding; it’s about proving that we are right. Whether we’re trying to prove that our religious faith will save us, or that our rejection of faith makes us stronger, we’re missing the point. True faith—faith in existence—requires humility. It asks us to let go of the need to control or to be right and to trust instead in the process, even when it’s uncomfortable or uncertain. Faith Without Certainty One of the greatest challenges of faith, especially for those who don’t identify as religious, is accepting uncertainty. Many religious doctrines provide answers, even if those answers don’t always make sense. But for non-theists or those deconstructing their religious backgrounds, there can be a temptation to seek certainty in the form of skepticism or cynicism. True faith, however, isn’t about certainty. It’s not about knowing that everything will turn out okay. It’s about trusting that whatever happens, you will have the resilience, wisdom, and strength to navigate it. It’s about participating in life as it unfolds, without...

Releasing the Victim Complex I've been on quite the journey lately, diving deep into the waters of victim consciousness and narcissism. It’s been the lens through which I’ve viewed everything recently, not just in others but within myself too. It’s one of those topics that becomes clearer the more you explore it — because the more you see it in yourself, the more you see it in others. And let me tell you, it’s everywhere. We often think of narcissism and victimhood as opposites, but they’re not. They’re actually two sides of the same coin, both deeply rooted in the same foundation: a superiority complex. It sounds counterintuitive, I know. We think of the narcissist as someone who inflates themselves, and the victim as someone who shrinks. But when life is always happening to you, when everything feels like an affront or a problem, you’re actually putting yourself at the center of the universe. That’s what makes it a superiority complex — it’s a separation from humanity, from the collective experience. The Victim Complex Unveiled Victim consciousness isn’t the same as being a victim in a specific moment. We’ve all been there. Something happens, we lose a game, we miss an opportunity, we get knocked down — in those moments, we can adopt a temporary victim mindset. But what I’m talking about is something much deeper. It’s the ongoing narrative where everything that happens is to you. The game of life isn’t fair, you’re always behind, and you’re carrying the weight of that disappointment constantly. What’s interesting, though, is that this mindset often hides behind a facade of feeling special. It’s not about uniqueness — we all have that in spades — it’s about feeling like you deserve more, or that life is unjust because it hasn’t given you what you believe you’re owed. Whether it's the victim complex or narcissism, it's all a form of specialness. The narcissist avoids vulnerability, pushing down any acknowledgment of being hurt or victimized. Instead, they inflate themselves to escape from it. The victim, on the other hand, leans into that hurt and uses it to justify why life hasn’t gone their way. Both are different manifestations of the same thing: avoiding shame. The Shame Spiral Shame is at the heart of it all. That’s what’s driving both the narcissist and the victim. They’re just expressing it in opposite ways. The victim says, “Look at what’s happened to me, I deserve sympathy.” The narcissist says, “Nothing bad has ever happened to me, I’m stronger than all of this.” But really, both are ways of avoiding shame, and shame is a hell of a drug. It convinces you that you’re unworthy of love, that you don’t deserve connection, and it drives you further into isolation. Releasing the victim complex isn’t easy work — it’s heavy, it’s emotional, and it’s something that requires real honesty with yourself. And sometimes, it requires help. I’m a coach, but even I know that this kind of work sometimes needs a clinical trauma specialist to guide you through it. Letting Go: A Process, Not a Destination Letting go of the victim complex is about more than just realizing you’re stuck in a cycle — it’s about taking steps to move beyond it. But before you can move forward, you have to sit with the weight of it. You have to acknowledge that it’s there, that you’re carrying it, and that it’s shaped the way you see the world. That’s step one. Step two? Sadness. Feeling sadness is very different from feeling shame. Shame says, “I’m broken, I’m wrong, I’m not worthy.” Sadness, on the other hand, is about recognizing what you’ve lost, what you’ve missed, and what’s happened to you without attaching yourself to it. It’s the release of that pressure valve, the act of saying, “Yes, this happened, and I’m allowed to feel it, but it doesn’t define me.” This isn’t about bypassing or ignoring what’s happened — quite the opposite. It’s about letting yourself feel the emotions that arise from acknowledging those difficult experiences...

Show Notes: * Exploring how narcissism and victimhood dynamics impact gender relations and future generations * Understanding the psychological roots of narcissism and helplessness * Healing narcissism to foster healthier relationships between men and women * The generational impact of unresolved trauma and narcissism * How self-love can break the cycle and support the development of conscious, healthy children * Bridging the gender and political divide with compassion and understanding * Reach out to me for coaching support to explore how these dynamics may be affecting you and your relationships In this episode, we delve deep into a topic that affects not only our personal relationships but also the future of our children and society as a whole: healing narcissism and helplessness. Narcissism, often fueled by deep-rooted trauma and shame, isn't just an individual issue—it’s a psychological pattern that, if left unresolved, gets passed on from generation to generation. In particular, we look at how these patterns create and perpetuate the gender divide, which has become increasingly pronounced and reflective of the political divide as well. Narcissism, Helplessness, and the Gender Divide One of the most compelling aspects of this conversation is how the dynamics of narcissism and victimhood tend to play out in gendered ways. Men are often labeled as narcissists—seen as controlling, emotionally unavailable, or manipulative—while women may fall into the victim role, struggling to set boundaries and feeling powerless in relationships. Yet, both sides of this dynamic stem from deep psychological wounds, which need healing not just for the individuals involved but for society as a whole. Narcissism isn't just a personality flaw; it’s a defense mechanism born from childhood trauma, often in homes where a parent was abusive or emotionally unavailable. The narcissist, unable to express their emotional needs openly, learns to manipulate others to get what they need, while those on the receiving end (often women in these gendered dynamics) may fall into patterns of helplessness, believing they have no control over their circumstances. This creates a codependent cycle that not only harms relationships but also influences how future generations understand love, boundaries, and emotional expression. Breaking the Cycle for Future Generations What makes this conversation so critical is the generational impact of unresolved narcissistic patterns. When parents model unhealthy relationships, whether through narcissistic control or victim helplessness, children absorb these behaviors, often carrying them into their own adult lives. It becomes a psychological genetic disease, passed down from one generation to the next. Healing these patterns is not just about improving our own lives—it’s about ensuring the emotional health of our children and future generations. When we break free from narcissistic patterns, we not only heal ourselves, but we also create healthier environments for the next generation. Children raised in homes where boundaries are respected, emotions are expressed healthily, and love is unconditional grow into adults who are emotionally secure and capable of forming healthy, balanced relationships. This is the ripple effect of healing narcissism: it’s not just about us, it’s about the legacy we leave behind. Bridging the Gender and Political Divide The gender divide in relationships often mirrors the larger political divide we see in society. In many cases, these divisions are exacerbated by the same underlying psychological patterns: one group feels marginalized or powerless, while the other seeks control or dominance. By healing narcissism and the helplessness that often accompanies it, we can begin to bridge these gaps—not just between men and women, but across political lines as well. As someone whose Gene Keys vocation and culture spheres are both Line 4, my focus is on bridging these divides within...

In today’s fast-paced world, feelings of loneliness and isolation are more common than ever. But what if your loneliness is rooted in the very idea that you’re “special”? In this article, we dive into the connection between narcissism, victimhood, and complex trauma, uncovering how shame spirals keep you trapped in cycles of self-sabotage. If you’ve ever felt alone, stuck, or consumed by shame, this might just be the key to understanding why. The Narcissism-Victimhood Paradox: Why You’re Not Special At first glance, narcissism and victimhood seem like opposites. However, both are tied to a deep sense of self-focus that stems from trauma. When someone has experienced significant shame or rejection, they may develop a superiority complex or a persistent sense of victimhood. This isn’t about ego—it’s a defense mechanism born out of trauma. As we fixate on our pain, we reinforce the idea that we’re “special,” that our suffering is unique. But this kind of self-focus leads to feelings of isolation. Shame Spirals and Self-Sabotage: How Trauma Fuels Loneliness Shame is at the core of the narcissism-victimhood paradox. When unresolved trauma and shame go unchecked, they fuel a cycle of self-sabotage and loneliness. According to trauma expert Tim Fletcher, individuals caught in shame spirals often push others away—consciously or subconsciously—as a way to protect themselves from further hurt. But this self-protective behavior only deepens the isolation. The more we withdraw, the lonelier we feel. The Need for Deep Rest and the Desire to Escape One of the hidden effects of trauma and shame is a deep longing for rest. This isn’t just about physical rest—it’s about emotional and psychological rest, the kind that comes from feeling safe, supported, and cared for. Spiritual teacher Amoda Maa introduced the concept of deep rest as the ultimate release of mental chatter. I’ve connected this idea to how suicidal ideation often stems from this need for rest. We become trapped in a cycle of hyper-vigilance, self-criticism, and shame. The solution lies in finding ways to experience true rest by allowing others to care for us and releasing the belief that we must always carry the weight alone. Loneliness, Narcissism, and the Drama Triangle Loneliness often stems from the roles we play in what psychologists call the "drama triangle." The victim, the rescuer, and the persecutor are all roles that keep us trapped in codependent relationships and self-sabotage. The victim role, in particular, often feeds into the narcissism-victimhood paradox, where we overvalue or undervalue ourselves, pushing others away and deepening our isolation. Breaking Free: Rebalancing Your Needs Fletcher’s concept of the "12 Needs" provides a helpful framework for understanding the roots of addiction, loneliness, and shame. Often, when one need—such as relational support—is unmet, we overcompensate by fulfilling another need excessively, such as seeking out addictive behaviors. For example, if you lack close relationships, you might turn to addictive pleasures like excessive screen time or overworking, all in an attempt to fill the void. The key to overcoming this is recognizing and rebalancing these needs. By addressing what’s truly missing—whether it's connection, purpose, or support—you can begin to escape the narcissism-victimhood trap and find your way out of loneliness. The Power of Letting Go: You’re Unique, But You’re Not Special One of the most powerful realizations in this journey is understanding that, while you are unique, you’re not "special." This concept may seem harsh at first, but it’s incredibly freeing. Letting go of the need to be "special" allows you to step out of the shame and self-focus that keeps you isolated. Recognizing that others share similar struggles can create the connection you need to heal. Practical Steps for Overcoming Shame and Loneliness * Embrace Your Uniqueness: You don’t have to be special to be worthy of love and...

Something I love about wrestling is that it creates this ability to look at a character, a person, and especially as a younger person, see yourself in that character. There are different personalities, expressions, stories, presentations, body types, colors that represent the person, pyro, theme music, and styles of wrestling - grapplers, brawlers, high flyers, agile people, ground and pound, etc. There are so many different types of characters that someone can go to a show and resonate with. When I took my kids to a wrestling show, my stepson in particular was really excited to basically try on every single character that came out. He saw them doing some sort of symbol or gesture or hand movement and he just tried them on, kept "putting on outfits to see what fit him." I recognized in myself the ability to do that when I was a kid - with video game characters, people on TV shows and movies. There's this exploration of "what do I resonate with?" This comes through sports too, seeing someone performing at a high level and aspiring to be like them. This exploration of avatars and archetypes is something we often go through as kids, to see what's possible for us and try on these different characters to see who we want to become. In a lot of ways, this is represented through the earlier gods and goddess archetypes - Egyptian, Greek, Mayan - that manifest today in things like wrestling, the Olympics, and even politics. They represent these energies that people aspire to, for better or worse. It may not be the person in its entirety, but just their look, the way they speak, stand or present themselves. This leads to the Jungian concept of persona - we're often trying to choose and look at avatars to develop a persona. Becoming an avatar is essentially like connecting ourselves to the person, idea, or character that we're resonating with. Whether or not that matches up to our actual physicality or capabilities, that's work to be done later to reconcile what we connect ourselves to relate to who we expected ourselves to be. In a lot of ways during this time, we're developing who we expect ourselves to be - whether we want to become a "big strong boy" or a "nurturing feminine woman." But in this day and age, it's so much more nuanced and complex than anything ever documented before, especially in terms of masculinity and femininity. Being a man doesn't necessarily mean going out and chopping wood and building a log cabin - it may mean being a software engineer with more traditionally feminine qualities in terms of personal relationships. The challenge comes when that persona gets used for everything - it becomes a hammer and all the world's a nail. If you want to become a wrestler and take that attitude to everything in your life, you might have trouble with your relationships or going to the DMV. The flexibility of persona comes later through doing "shadow work" - exploring the parts of ourselves we've repressed or hidden away. Jung saw the self as having different layers - the ego, the persona, the shadow, the anima/animus (the animating force), and the collective unconscious. The persona is the interface between ourselves and the outer world, the ego is the interface between the self and the persona, and the shadow is everything that gets filtered out. The anima/animus is the animating force, the soul or spirit that makes us alive. Having an animated force, a soul, protects us from the complicated, timeless, boundless inner world that can feel treacherous if we fully submit to it. Traditionally, the anima/animus has been seen as the opposite of the persona - men want to be men, women want to be women. But today, it's much more nuanced and complex. The challenge when we're younger is that we must do all this filtering and develop a rigid persona. But as we grow, we need to expand that self and allow the ego and shadow to be partners rather than just protective forces. We need to be willing to tap into parts of ourselves...

In recent episodes, I've explored the intricate concept of victim consciousness—a mindset that subtly keeps us stuck, preventing growth and self-actualization. While discussing this topic, I delved into the triggers that figures like Jordan Peterson and Elon Musk evoke in me. Not personally knowing them, it's fascinating how their public personas stir something deep within, bringing to light the narratives I've carried for years. Victim consciousness is not merely a matter of feeling sorry for oneself; it's a complex psychological dance. It's about recognizing how certain beliefs and stories we've told ourselves over time hold us back. It's an internal narrative where we convince ourselves of our inadequacies, often manifesting as a fear of failure. This fear, in turn, keeps us from pursuing opportunities that could lead to growth and success. One striking realization is how this consciousness can create a superiority complex. It's paradoxical but true. The belief that we're not good enough, not lovable, or incapable can be a way of placing ourselves above others—untouchable in our perceived inadequacy. It’s a strange way of shielding ourselves from failure by never attempting to succeed in the first place. For instance, I've noticed how I sabotage opportunities to engage in consulting or public speaking. The internal dialogue goes something like this: "You're dyslexic, not academic enough, not good at presentations." These thoughts build a case against me, creating a protective barrier that keeps me from stepping into situations where I might fail. It's a classic case of avoiding competition by convincing myself that I don't need to compete. The irony is that this very mindset creates the circumstances I fear the most—stagnation and a lack of growth. By not trying, I prevent myself from failing, but I also prevent myself from succeeding. It's a lazy logic, a trap that keeps one from truly living. I've often reflected on my relationship with competition. While some advocate for community over competition, I believe there's value in healthy competition. It pushes us, tests our skills, and helps us grow. The recent Olympic Games are a perfect illustration of this. Watching athletes push their limits, support one another, and celebrate each other's achievements is inspiring. It highlights the beauty of competition—not as a destructive force but as a catalyst for growth. In my journey, avoiding competition has been a way to maintain a sense of superiority. It’s a form of self-protection, a way to avoid being judged or criticized. But this mindset has consequences. It limits my potential, keeps me from making meaningful contributions, and prevents me from experiencing the vulnerability that comes with truly putting oneself out there. True vulnerability is not just about emotional openness; it's about risking failure, putting our ego on the line, and challenging our self-constructed narratives. As I reflect on these ideas, I recognize the need to transcend these limiting beliefs. It's about letting go of the narratives that keep us stuck and embracing the discomfort that comes with growth. It's about stepping into situations that challenge us, even if it means risking failure. Because, ultimately, the real failure is not trying at all. This journey is not just about overcoming victim consciousness; it's about embracing a healthier relationship with ourselves and the world. It's about recognizing the value of competition, the importance of vulnerability, and the necessity of challenging our internal narratives. Only by doing so can we truly grow and live a life of purpose and fulfillment. Get full access to DOPEamine at dopeamine.substack.com/subscribe

The voiceover is produced in Eleven Labs. I'm currently processing The Victim Identity, which is not a Matt Damon film but a concept I learned from Eckhart Tolle. In this video, he describes it as a superiority complex disguised by inferiority—a tricky paradoxical complex. It’s worth watching if this concept connects with you. The Victim Identity takes moments or times in one’s life where they experienced being a victim and held onto it as a narrative for why things aren’t going how I’d like them to go now. The past becomes an excuse more than it becomes a natural karma. Eckhart uses the common example of attractiveness as an easy narrative to grasp why someone isn’t successful, hasn’t found a partner, or is struggling in some other way. It often arises when nothing happens in someone’s life because the ego needs something to grab onto as an identity, so it digs into the past for some sense of self. This differs from someone who has been a victim and/or healing, which involves releasing having been a victim to heal and creating a new direction. Eckhart points out that The Victim Identity constantly points out misgivings and frustrations in an almost “how dare you upset me” kind of way, which highlights more obviously how the victim perceives themselves as superior with high expectations or tight boundaries or blame as a move away from shame. There's something about Jordan Peterson that really grinds my gears, and I’ve avoided talking about it because he’s so popular among people who tend to follow me and the INTPs I support. There’s an energy to him that reminds me of who I consciously don’t want to be: whining and complaining with an obsession with women, gender, and religion, and, at times, a perversion of Jung’s work with some weird patterns, cynicism, and doesn’t seem to take being challenged lightly. He brings a lot of anger, frustration, and big emotion to his speaking and interviews that bring my stomach to a boil. I got to the point where I couldn’t watch anymore. But even though I’m invoking his name, this isn’t about him or any judgments on his character; it’s about what he reflects in me that sets off these triggers. I remember telling myself that all the whining and complaining I experienced growing up was not who I wanted to be nor what I perceived to be healthy masculine behavior—a clear repression of what I deemed to be bad. Since then, I put great effort into becoming more stoic and masking my sensitivity. If you’ve been following my podcast and journey, then you’re probably more aware of how emotional and highly sensitive I am, but in most public in-person situations, I don’t cry or express myself emotionally very often. Jordon Peterson, who most definitely cries out, and now Elon Musk, amongst some other men, are highlighting to me how triggered I am by the male victim identity. The Olympic opening ceremony reactions awoke plenty of dismissive reactions within me of “Oh boo hoo, poor you for feeling like you’ve been made fun of.” And Elon’s recent reveal about his eldest son’s gender transition and his plight with the state of California left me with a joking dismissal of “yeah, damn, I’m not great at paperwork either.” I would probably call my reactions an unaccepting disapproval of their narratives. Something in me says, “You just don’t get to feel that way because you’re not actually a victim in this scenario, especially if you’re going to use that as an excuse to go on a crusade. How does your kid feel? Are you supporting them? Or is this just about you?” That might as well be my internal dialog, in which I alternate between being the victim and criticizing myself for it. When I went to a Catholic High School, I experienced a new breed of people…affluent, religious caucasian kids who seemed to put much effort into reinforcing that they were the top dog with incessant bullying and perversion. Yet, the Christian religions I came across had much ado about persecution and sacrifice. Anyone...

Show Notes: * Examining the millennial generation's struggle with commitment in relationships, projects, and personal growth. * Understanding the paradox of choice and how it contributes to a lack of commitment. * Discussing the balance between discipline and surrender in the journey of commitment. * Introducing separate publications on Substack focusing on different aspects of personal development. Let’s dive deep into the theme of commitment that has been surfacing in my life lately. As I navigate various stories and personal experiences, I've been contemplating our generation's challenges with committing to relationships, projects, personal health, and overall growth. The narrative surrounding millennials often portrays us as a generation unable to pay attention or commit to anything. However, I believe this stems from a paradox of choice – the overwhelming abundance of options available to us, making it difficult to fully commit to any single path. We find ourselves waiting for the perfect situation, the ideal partner, or the guaranteed path to success and security, often leading to a state of arrested development. I explore the concept of "Limerence," where we manufacture emotional connections or fantasies about someone without their consent, potentially stemming from a lack of commitment in our existing relationships. This can be a way to stave off loneliness or a desire for a different path, highlighting the importance of establishing and respecting emotional boundaries. As I contemplate the journey of commitment, I recognize the tension between discipline and surrender. Discipline is often associated with forcing ourselves to adhere to specific actions or behaviors, while surrender involves trust and faith in the chosen path, even when we cannot see the entire journey ahead. I propose that commitment lies at the intersection of these two concepts – a conscious choice to dedicate ourselves to a particular direction while embracing the courage to move forward despite our fears. In this episode, I also share the exciting updates I've made to my Substack publications. I've separated different aspects of my work into distinct publications, each focusing on a specific area of personal development: * The Mood: Delving into mental health and the exploration of the self. * The Spiral: Examining human development and personal growth. * Personality Strategy: Utilizing personality types and the Enneagram for self-discovery. * The Optimist: Highlighting positive news stories, emerging technologies, and societal advancements (a new addition!). I extend an invitation to join me on this journey of commitment and personal growth. Subscribe to the publications that resonate with you, and let's embark on this path together, embracing the courage to commit and the optimism of what lies ahead. So, sit back, press play, and let's dive into the depths of commitment, purpose, and the pursuit of a fulfilling life. Get full access to DOPEamine at dopeamine.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to today’s episode where we explore CNote’s innovative approach to mental wellness and his four-quadrant strategy. The episode delves into the challenges of feeling diagnostically stuck and the journey towards clarity and self-understanding. Main Themes: Comprehensive Mental Wellness: We discuss CNote’s holistic strategy for mental wellness, focusing on overcoming the feeling of being directionless through personality profiling and alternative methods. The Emotional Roots: A deep dive into how fear, blame, shame, and guilt can impede personal growth and the importance of addressing these emotions to foster understanding. Fear and the Future: Analysis of fear’s connection to future uncertainties, survival instincts, and larger global issues such as climate change and the impact of billionaires. Societal Implications of Emotions: The cultural phenomenon of “canceling” as a social shaming practice. The evolutionary purpose of shame in maintaining social norms. Relationships and Self-Perception: The destructive effects of shame and guilt on personal relationships and self-image. The call for self-acceptance and recognizing the healing nature of shared human experiences. Personal Connection: CNote shares his own struggles with guilt and the crucial role of self-forgiveness. The value of ongoing self-reflection in maintaining personal connections and combating loneliness. Seeking Guidance: An invitation for listeners to engage with CNote for personalized sessions. The goal of helping individuals explore personal values, purpose, and fostering a deeper self-connection. Conclusion: Summarizing CNote’s message on the importance of inner work and self-discovery in achieving mental wellness. Encouragement to reach out for support and the promise of personalized help in navigating the complexities of the human emotional landscape. Call to Action: Listeners are encouraged to connect with CNote for tailored support and to start their journey towards a clearer understanding of themselves and their place in the world. Final Thoughts: Reflecting on the profound impact that addressing deep-seated emotions can have on one’s overall mental health and well-being. A reminder that you are not alone in your experiences and that reaching out for help is a brave and vital step towards healing. ----------------- Christian Rivera creates videos and courses that support INTP personality type growth. These videos are for entertainment, self-diagnosis, self-assessment, self-experimentation, and expressions of Christian's own personal process and development. He is not a mental health professional so any actions taken from the content of these videos is the responsibility of the viewer. Any advice given is from the lens of personal experience and self-acquired knowledge. INTP Support Courses: http://www.udemy.com/user/christian-a-rivera Get a Free INTP eBook for joining the e-mail list: http://www.linktr.ee/cnotestudio ------------------ Personality Hacker Personality Test: https://ca157.isrefer.com/go/phpt/letsgocnote/ Truity Labs Test: https://www.truity.com/?a=3234637 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/happychemicals/message Get full access to DOPEamine at dopeamine.substack.com/subscribe

Today, I’m exploring the multifaceted topic of intimacy, a subject that touches upon the very core of our experiences as individuals and as members of the collective human experience. Show Notes: * Intimacy is a vast and intricate concept, encompassing various aspects of our lives, including sexuality, creativity, and personal connections. * Understanding the interplay between admiration and boundaries is crucial for cultivating respect and nurturing healthy intimate relationships. * The pursuit of intimacy is often intertwined with our existential quest for meaning, purpose, and a sense of belonging in the face of our temporary existence. * Navigating the spaces between connection and separation, individuality and union, is a delicate dance that requires self-awareness and a willingness to embrace uncertainty. * Releasing the attachments to blame, shame, and guilt can pave the way for more authentic and fulfilling intimate experiences. Intimacy is a vast and layered topic that touches on various aspects of our lives - sexuality, creativity, personal connections, and more. In this thought-provoking episode, we explore the nuances of intimacy through the lens of admiration, boundaries, and respect. You'll hear personal anecdotes and insights on navigating the complexities of intimacy, from the existential anxiety underlying our desire for connection to the importance of self-love and releasing attachments to blame, shame, and guilt. We dive into the delicate dance of individuality and union, physical and emotional intimacy, and the role boundaries play in cultivating meaningful relationships. There's also an examination of how our pursuit of intimacy is intertwined with finding purpose amidst the temporary nature of existence. The discussion provides a refreshing perspective on intimacy that goes beyond just the physical, inviting you to reflect on your own experiences and challenges. Prepare for an intimate look at intimacy itself, filled with philosophical musings and wisdom on self-discovery, admiration, and the beauty of uncertainty. By the end, you may rethink what true intimacy means to you. Once you listen to the episode come back and let me know what you think. Is there something I missed? Something you’d to add? A lesson learned or story you’d like to share? Become a premium member of DOPEamine for $5/month and become a part of the discussion and also gain access to premium content with our multiple newsletters…The Mood, The Spiral, The Optimist, DOPEamine, and Personality Strategy. Can’t wait to hear from you! Get full access to DOPEamine at dopeamine.substack.com/subscribe

Show Notes / Key Listening Points: * Countering common fear-based narratives about climate change, AI, war, and global events * The importance of not diminishing my optimism and willingness to see multiple perspectives * How fear can limit our thinking and block us from considering positive outcomes * Using imagination to conceive better outcomes, not just worry about worst-case scenarios * The adaptability and resilience of humanity in the face of drastic changes and challenges * Potential positive impacts of AI, technological advancements, and problem-solving innovations * Cyclical thinking vs. linear thinking, and embracing the natural ebb and flow of human existence * Finding gratitude, connectedness, and a sense of purpose amidst significant shifts and losses My friends, in a world often dominated by fear-based narratives surrounding climate change, artificial intelligence (AI), war, and global events, it can be challenging to maintain a sense of optimism and openness to different perspectives. However, as I passionately argue in this thought-provoking podcast episode, it is crucial that we do not diminish our optimism or willingness to consider multiple sides of these complex issues. I acknowledge the validity of fears surrounding these concerns, but I also emphasize the importance of not allowing fear to limit our thinking or blind us to potential positive outcomes. I encourage you to use your imagination not just to worry about worst-case scenarios but also to conceive better, more hopeful possibilities. One area where I see promise is the development of AI and technological advancements. Rather than succumbing to fears of job displacement or a Terminator-esque takeover, I highlight the potential benefits of AI, such as reducing human workloads, enabling safer exploration of inhospitable environments like Mars, and facilitating problem-solving innovations that could address issues like climate change. I also emphasize the adaptability and resilience of humanity in the face of drastic changes and challenges. Throughout history, we humans have migrated, adapted, and found creative solutions to survive and thrive in new environments and circumstances. I believe that, even in the face of significant shifts or losses, we possess the capacity to find gratitude, connectedness, and a sense of purpose. Moreover, I encourage a cyclical perspective on human existence, recognizing the natural ebb and flow of eras, ideas, and ways of being. Just as previous generations have faced upheavals and transitions, I argue that we are currently experiencing a transitional phase, which, though challenging, also presents opportunities for growth, innovation, and the emergence of new positive possibilities. While acknowledging the importance of facing fears head-on and not invalidating legitimate concerns, my message to you is ultimately one of hope and empowerment. I urge you to tune into the accuracy of your fears, distinguishing between valid, immediate threats and conceptual worries that may limit your ability to imagine and work towards better outcomes. By embracing optimism, considering multiple perspectives, and harnessing our innate adaptability and creativity, I believe we can navigate the challenges of our time and shape a future that not only endures but thrives. Join me in fighting for optimism and embracing the positive possibilities that await us. Once you listen to the episode, consider leaving a comment and becoming a premium subscriber to support DOPEamine. Get full access to DOPEamine at dopeamine.substack.com/subscribe

Show Notes: • Exploring the concepts of projections (unconscious agency) and introjections (unconscious receptivity) from the Stages model • Understanding the split ego state and how it relates to childhood development and trauma • Recognizing unhealthy patterns of being more of a "taker" than a "giver" in relationships and life • Working on reciprocity, boundaries, and being more altruistic by offering value without expectation The Unconscious Dance of Projections and Introjections I recently came across a fascinating idea - that projections are an unconscious use of agency, while introjections are an unconscious form of receptivity. This stems from my recent dive into the Stages model and the three forms of shadow identified by Kim Barta: projections, introjections, and split ego states. Projections are qualities about ourselves that we place onto others, often showing up as judgments. Introjections are taking on qualities, feelings, or traits that aren't truly ours. A split ego state occurs when a childhood trauma causes part of our psyche to become walled off or unconsciously carried into later stages of development. The idea of projections being "unconscious agency" is striking. Agency implies self-authored action and creativity, but when it's unconscious, we aren't realizing the impact of our behaviors. The world then reflects that unconsciousness back to us through triggers and reactions we project onto others. Introjections, being "unconscious receptivity," represent the flip side. We're taking in messages, media, or even trauma without realizing how it permeates our psychology and behavioral patterns. The 1.0 stage of pure receptivity in infancy is often where introjections begin. For me personally, I'm seeing how much I've operated from an unconscious drive to "take" rather than give - seeking friendship, intimacy, or even business in manipulative ways to get my wants met. It links back to developmental lacks around boundaries, reciprocity, and valuing myself enough to just offer value without expectation. The 2.0 stage is all about learning boundaries, negotiating wants, and developing that critical theory of mind and social perspective-taking. If we get stuck in an earlier stage or experience a "shadow crash," we can react from that younger, more selfishly motivated ego state. My work now is noticing those taking/manipulative tendencies, setting healthier boundaries, and figuring out how to genuinely give and be altruistic - through content, skills, presence, and service to others. Not from a depleted place, but from truly valuing what I have to offer the world. It's an insightful model for doing powerful inner work. If any of these concepts resonate, I invite you to explore the Stages model further or leave me a comment with questions. I'll do my best to offer more generous perspectives as I muddle through these realizations myself. Get full access to DOPEamine at dopeamine.substack.com/subscribe

This episode is a difficult realization manifest in a long winding investigation into not just a wounding but an uncheck node in my internal system. Using the STAGES model created by Kim Barta and Terri O’Fallen I’ve been able to pinpoint where I need some important work, and how I’ve been undermining myself, misusing my intelligence, and not setting proper boundaries for myself. This episode shares that process and some real-time realizations about my impact on others and how this young childhood trauma has impacted my development into today. Show Notes: Introduction: * Christian Rivera shares insights from his personal journey of self-discovery and growth, drawing from Gene Key 50 and other developmental models. Main Points: * Body as Beloved Pet: * Rivera likens the body to a cherished pet, emphasizing the importance of nurturing and loving it for optimal health and happiness. * Exploring Personal Development: * Reflecting on personal growth, Rivera delves into the discovery of internal corruption and its impact on development. * Stages Model and Perspective: * Rivera discusses the Stages model, which applies vertical models of human development to a more relatable perspective of first, second, and third-person viewpoints. * Perspective Evolution: * Expanding on the Stages model, Rivera explores higher perspectives, highlighting the process of unraveling constructs and expanding worldviews. * Releasing Victim Identity: * Rivera shares his journey of releasing the victim identity, delving into the complexities of personal narratives and their influence on behavior. * Ego States and Shadow Work: * Exploring ego states and shadow work, Rivera discusses how childhood experiences can shape behaviors and perceptions, leading to the development of corrupted patterns. * Gene Key 50: * Rivera relates his journey to Gene Key 50, emphasizing the importance of rooting out corrupted programs and achieving equilibrium for personal growth. * Embracing Equilibrium: * Rivera discusses the significance of maintaining inner equilibrium amidst life's challenges, highlighting the power of gratitude and self-reflection in fostering harmony. * Boundaries and Relationships: * Rivera reflects on the importance of setting boundaries and fostering harmonious relationships, acknowledging the need for balance between giving and receiving. * Moving Forward: * Rivera concludes by expressing gratitude for the listener's support and shares his commitment to continued growth and self-discovery. Conclusion: * Rivera expresses gratitude for the listener's engagement and support, emphasizing the ongoing journey of self-improvement and growth. Support Information: * Rivera encourages listeners to subscribe to his Substack and consider supporting his work through Patreon to facilitate ongoing content creation and personal development exploration. Closing Remarks: * Rivera extends love and gratitude to the audience, encouraging them to embrace gratitude and self-reflection in their own journeys. Get full access to DOPEamine at dopeamine.substack.com/subscribe

I’m testing Wednesday Wisdom as a series of thought meditations to calm the mind from various angles to focus on presence and breath. If you enjoy this series let me know in the comments below. You can also now book a support session with me if you need more. I’ve been uncovering a Saviorism within myself. I need to prove myself disguised as confident and all-knowing of what people need to be doing with their lives. Lately, I’ve seen that this is an abrasive attempt to prove my value as a human by overdoing, overstepping, and forcing others who aren’t prepared to grow into a growth path, which usually only halts their natural growth. Forcing extra water on a plant because it needs to grow faster will only drown it. So, I’m learning to back off, not force my contribution, and put emphasis on both acceptance of presence with everything being perfect as it is and to also support the expansion of the light of human consciousness with my work as a garden to tend to as opposed to a belief to peddle. In my own exploration and self-discovery, I've come to realize that the role I envisioned for myself—as the omnipotent savior of everyone around me—may not be the path meant for me. Instead, what has emerged from my reflections and meditations is a deeper understanding that my true role is more akin to a humble steward or guide, not just for others, but for my own journey as well. This journey began with a well-intentioned desire to fix, save, and uplift every soul I encountered. I saw myself as the architect of change, the only one who held the wisdom to guide those lost back to shore. This mindset, noble in its aim, often led me to overextend, to overstep, and, paradoxically, to stunt the very growth I aimed to foster in others. Through my meditation, I've come to see that the essence of my contribution is not found in grandiose acts of salvation but in the quiet, steady support and acceptance of each person's unique path. Like a gardener tending to their plot, I've learned the importance of allowing each plant to grow at its own pace, understanding that each requires different amounts of sunlight, water, and care. This realization has shown me the beauty of stepping back, of supporting rather than forcing growth. Transitioning from a savior to a steward or coach has been liberating. It has allowed me to shed the burdens of proving my worth through the act of saving and to embrace a more sustainable, fulfilling way of contributing to the world. By focusing on my own growth and self-discovery, I inadvertently create a space where others feel empowered to explore, grow, and shine in their own right. The mantra I shared, "You don't need to save the world. You do not need to save anyone. You do not need to do anything to prove your worth," is a powerful affirmation that has guided me through this transition. It's a reminder to embrace my inherent worth, understanding that my value does not depend on my ability to rescue others but on my capacity to love, support, and be present with them on their journey. This path of unburdening has underscored the importance of being my own savior, healer, and coach. By setting boundaries, honoring my needs, and nurturing my growth, I lay the groundwork for genuine, impactful contributions to the lives of those around me. It's in this space of self-love and acceptance that I can truly contribute from a place of abundance rather than obligation. As I navigate the complexities of life, I hold onto the essence of my meditation: my role is not to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders but to walk alongside others, sharing the load, offering support, and celebrating the unique journey each of us is on. In doing so, I not only enrich my own life but also contribute to a world where growth, acceptance, and presence are valued above all else. This shift from savior to steward, from fixer to supporter, is not just a personal evolution but a testament to the power of presence, acceptance, and the...

Relevant Links: * The One-Sided Victim Story: Dive into the complexities of the victim narrative here. * The Victim/Entitled Balancing Act: Explore the balance between victimhood and entitlement here. * Discovering Your Brand Message: Uncover the essence of your brand with this course here. It’s becoming clear to me that our relationship with victimhood is a major blocker in having a happy, fulfilling, and smoother life experience. This is no easy task to root this out or become aware of how we’re playing these roles but I figure I’d offer a start to how I’m beginning to navigate this difficult aspect of life and development. The Paradox of Victimhood Victimhood, while inherently linked to suffering, carries an unexpected power—the power to transcend. Yet, as we navigate from physical survival to psychological battles, the real challenge emerges: not allowing our stories of victimhood to define us but instead using them as stepping stones to empowerment and creation. Journey Through Psychological Trauma Christian shares his personal voyage through the dark waters of psychological trauma, a path marked by the redefinition of emotional boundaries and the relentless pursuit of self-authorship. This narrative sheds light on the transformative journey from victimhood to agency, underscored by the vital role of support systems. The Power of Support and Adaptation In the face of indifference, the significance of support—be it from a partner, a coach, or a community—cannot be overstated. Christian highlights the shift from seeking external accommodations to fostering personal adaptation, emphasizing the role of technology and tools in overcoming challenges like dyslexia and ADHD. The Drama Triangle: A Philosophical Exploration Venturing into the drama triangle, we examine the roles of victim, hero, and villain within co-dependent dynamics. This exploration reveals the potential for narrative change, encouraging us to step out of predefined roles and embrace the responsibility of crafting our destinies. Emotional Boundaries and Savior Complexes Christian offers a candid reflection on the savior complex and the importance of establishing emotional boundaries. This discussion serves as a reminder of the perils of attempting to 'fix' the emotional turmoil of others and the importance of focusing on our responses and choices. Discipline and Surrender: The Essence of Growth The episode concludes with a meditation on the balance between discipline and surrender, emphasizing the importance of self-care and the acceptance of flow and ease. This balance avoids the extremes of hyper-vigilance and submission, guiding us towards personal growth. A Call to Self-Sovereignty Christian leaves us with a call to action: to examine our relationship with victimhood and actively pursue self-sovereignty and agency. This invitation encourages engagement in personal growth work, transforming us from passive recipients of life's challenges to active creators of our future. Join us on this philosophical journey at dopamine.substack.com, where we continue to explore mental health, spirituality, and the quest for transformation. Share your thoughts and experiences on navigating victimhood and claiming your power. Until next time, embrace the choices you make and the paths you dare to walk, for they shape your destiny. Get full access to DOPEamine at dopeamine.substack.com/subscribe