The Art of Connection. Woman to Woman, Heart to Heart

Shame. This is a topic of an episode I recorded or recorded many months back. It is relevant today as it was when I shamed first lifted its ugly head. Shortly after creation, shame arises from a cursed consciousness. This is the foundation of our shame, our minds, and what we think on. And from this cursed perspective comes projecting onto others. What is going on inside of us? Shame has a myriad names, loser, worthless failure loss cause forgotten idiot, uninvited to name a few. And in the hidden recesses of our mind, these curses are replayed situation that supposedly support. This view are rehearsed. Ruth Chels Simmons says daily habits create deep channels. This holds true to our thought life. And this is something that I've really thought a lot about the things we rehearse review, restate over and over again. Make deep channels in our thought life that takeover suddenly these lies become the story of our life. Our narrative, our story becomes one filled with shame and hiding away because we don't want to be discovered truly no area of our life is untouched by our thoughts. And some even go as far to say that these personal narratives are their truth or your truth. This phrase is so off base and its implication so far and deep reaching. I must call it out for what it is. A lie. Truth is unchanging. The circumstances of our life are always changing our story, our perceptions, our opinions, and our narratives all have merit and value, but do not call it your truth. That gives it too much weight and power in your life. It hijacks who you are with what you have been telling yourself through the years, Tommy Newberry states, the secret conversations you hold and the privacy of your mind are shaping your destiny little by little. Does that resonate with you? It certainly does. With me, shame is epidemic. I think we all have or experience it's ugly fruit. Even now, sometimes this is referred to the syndrome, you know, where you just don't feel like you're being authentic or real or you're pretending how many times have I told myself that I do not measure up to the task? Whatever that task may currently be. This is shame operating. There've been so many times in the course of, of a women to women meet up or have some other ministry that I'm involved in. And I tell myself not to go to that group that they don't want me there since they don't really know me. That's shame talking. How many times have I not reached out to that person or this woman? Because I tell myself she doesn't consider me a friend or I tell myself, don't mention that. Just let it be. And don't discuss it since they don't care. Shame does that. It lies to us convincing us that things that are most often just not true shame keeps us in, sequestered away. So as not to burden others, shame keeps us buried beneath the surface of the veneer of our life, false bravado or a shrinking violet, both are shame induced and they prevent us from entering into the fullness of life. Christ promised us shame is a bully. Shame is a jail keeper and delights keeping its prisoners in solitary confinement. In the midst of our busy lives. Liberation is found in scripture. Jesus told us that it was for freedom sake. He set us free. And since he is the son of God and the son of man, we know we can trust his words because why, how do we know that he created all things. He came to earth so that we might receive his gift and life in abundance. Shame prevents us from stepping over this threshold into this magnificent life. We might make excuses. We might come up with reasons why we don't, but it's shame that prevents us from moving forward. Liberation is God's truth woven richly into your inner most being, which is the foundation of freedom. The invitation and is life free from shame and living in abundance is a universal one. It is an all-inclusive call to all of humanity. Yet it is exclusive to those who accept the invitation and the free gift. Our thought life often filled the...

Our prayers, easy to turn them into flowery platitudes of spiritual sounding rhetoric. People face difficult times and they asked for prayer and prayer is what we turn to when we're faced with suffering or calamity. These practices diminish the purpose of prayer. Prayer is defined as a spiritual communion with God per contains petitions and entreaties, but also worship and praise and worship. All that really means is thinking on spending time with having your mind focused on the thing that you say has worth, and God almighty. The creator of the universe is certainly worthy of all our worship. So after his disciples and I'm speaking of Jesus and his disciples, after his disciples asked about prayer, they wanted to know how to pray as they observed their teacher. Jesus, praying as an essential part of his life. As he walked this earth, Jesus demonstrated to them how to pray. And since the son of God prayed often daily, always how much more should we, how much more essential is this spiritual discipline for our daily walk yet I know is much more than what is practiced by most Christians. Yeah. Prayer is for Christians the way to commune and communicate and stay connected with God. God hears our prayers yet. He is not obligated to answer prayers of those who reject him. Really. It's not unlike a strange adult children running to their parents only for help when there's a problem or trouble. They're never seeking to build a relationship. Yet. Relationship building is precisely what prayer is about, and God has given us this beautiful privilege as a gift. This gift demonstrates God's longing to connect with each of us intimately and love only. God doesn't need us to help him in any way yet. He has given the practice of prayer as a tool, not to only commune with him, but to also co-labor with him. This is one way how we can participate in kingdom work. We co-labor with God. As we persevere in prayer, we participate God's purposes. When he, when we pray, we participate in warfare. When we pray, remember, God doesn't need us yet. He longs for us to enjoy the gift of prayer and the power of prayer by the creative design, the majestic beings, we know them as angels await their marching orders, which is garnered from our prayers. Now, um, this is not to say that God needs us so that his angels there to do the work. What I am suggesting and telling you is that go ahead, gave us this wonderful gift. So we can, we too can partner dissipate in the kingdom, uh, practices and kingdom work. So God doesn't need us. He can come in and his angels at any time to do his will and work yet. God also has prayers away that we too can participate. Take for example, this historical count of David, um, it's found in Dan or excuse me, Daniel, it's found in Daniel chapter 10, I'll read part of it. Um, and then just kind of summarize part as well. In those days, I, Daniel had been mourning for three entire weeks. I did not eat any tasty food nor did meat or wine. Enter my mouth nor did I use any ointment at all. And until the entire three weeks were completed, Daniel saw the horrible state that Israel was in. They were in captivity now. And so he was an earnest prayer and a vision came to him. An angel came down only. He saw the vision, but his companions, they heard it. They knew something was going on and terrified, ran away. It continues in verse seven. Now I, Daniel alone saw the vision while the men who were with me did not see the vision. And so they ran away and left him and here Daniel says, but I heard the sound of his words. This is the vision that showed up the, the angel. As soon as I heard the sound of his words, I fell into a deep sleep on my face with my face to the ground. Now, first of all, if I may, could you imagine if you had this vision and this huge being that Daniel tries to describe is there before you and your companions leave you, they abandoned you. But here's what this angelic being said to Daniel to, or Tim Daniel....

Fall six times rise seven. This has been a refrain for my life, and perhaps it resonates with you as well. It's my paraphrase from a wisdom writing of Solomon these past few years. Well, a good majority of my life really I've had physical issues and challenges and lately is I am doing the things to regain good health. It seems I take one step forward and then fall back several yet. As long as I keep plugging along, I will reach my goals. I can fall six times, but if I rise seven, I win my health challenges have been more like dealing with Nat swarms rather than a dragon such as cancer or some other fear diagnosis and thankful for that. But dang it. NATS are annoying. As a child, I was often described with compassion and sadness as a sickly child gamma globulin shots. When I was a toddler, several rounds of antibiotics in early grade school due to strep throat later in grade school, a virus with a raging fever that had my hair falling out weeks later. And of course the usual chicken pox, mumps colds, broken foot in junior high, and later on scoliosis was discovered and they required that. I wear a full back brace 23 hours a day. You might recall a movie way back when in the eighties about a gal in high school wearing a back brace, that would have been me after that orthodontics at the time could offer no help to the huge gaps in my teeth though. I got braces after high school, when a new orthodontist moved into my small town, then I contracted viral meningitis, not once, but twice as a 19 year old, there was concern that it might be multiple sclerosis and decades later when I was hospitalized yet again for meningitis, for the symptom care. Um, I had one doctor who was delighted that he could actually grow the meningitis bug in a Petri dish. Thanks to me. He had never had that in 25 years, guests, something good came of it. I also had kidney stones, a severe car accident that left me with broken ribs and a concussion accompanied by a beautiful scar on my forehead that my husband lovingly is my ax wound. I went through the sun roof of the glass when the car flipped. Um, I had a scare with bone scans and to determine if what I was experienced was, uh, rheumatoid arthritis or Paget's disease. It was discovered later that it was an MMR booster that a state required me to have before teaching. And that gave me the symptoms that I was experiencing concussion for. One of my special needs children that I was teaching that had me out of work for three days rear ended. And it was impact with whiplash. Chronic sinusitis treated the way too many antibiotics or anxiety was treated for both hospitalized with a cardiac issue. And of course there are my riding accidents, always my whole, my fault, not my horses. One ride I broke, I broke my clavicle, another, a tailbone injury and then broken toes because horses like to step on toes concussion again from a cliff dieting act incident, which was a near drowning situation. And most recently discovered that H pylori is a real issue. Thanks to over antibiotic use that has been, uh, preventing my body from using B and D vitamins. So my lab numbers are always in the basement, severe reaction to make medication that took me months to recover from. And prior to that, I experienced a significant hip muscle injury while attending a workshop that left me unable to walk for several weeks. And I'm currently dealing with what could be an antibiotic antibiotic resistant infection. Now I'm sharing this all with you, all these little mats of my life in hopes that it may resonate with some of you and what you're facing and give you hope and encouragement that it doesn't have to be a hopeless situation. Most often as an adult, I get some momentum in my health and journey. And then wham, I am slammed down again, whether it's an illness or, or an injury, but now armed with the promises in scripture that I know are secure, because I know he who has written them and I can trust his good character. So...

God's love for humanity. It's amazing. The following poetical verses one of my favorites, was shared by my dear friend and mentor Helene. She shared it with me many years ago and it's something I still meditate upon frequently. It's written by Zephaniah and it reads the Lord. Your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will rejoice over you with joy. He'll be quiet in his love. He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy. Isn't this truly amazing. I read those words and I try to wrap my mind around it. It's just such an incredible and beautiful truth. And it's all inspiring. The creator of the universe thinks on you this way. He thinks on me this way. That to me is just truly difficult to comprehend. God is in our midst. He is not distant. And if you belong to Christ his holy spirit indwells, you Emmanuel God with us heaven here on earth because of his indwelling spirit. He is a victorious warrior. We have no worries when we are on his side, God rejoices over us. He rejoices with joy, which I am reminded that there is little in my life that is remarkable to rejoice over it. Yet as our loving heavenly father, he rejoices over me and over you and over us all, maybe because he loves us not due to our merit in a song written by king David. God is essentially reminding us that though. We may not know him. He knows everything about us and still loves us and still wants a relationship with us. And this is in David's Psalm 139. God will be quiet in his love, just muse on this for a while. Isn't it wonderful just to sit with someone who loves you and no words have to be spoken, no performance. You can just be. And this is how God loves us in quietness and peace. God also rejoices over us. Exuberantly was shouts of joy. Zephaniah writes and reminds us. God loves us so much that he shouts with joy. Think about that to me, that is just so incredible to think that the creator of the universe would shout with joy over me. And then also sit and in quietness, just reign his love down on me. Even at our most deplorable, God loves us. He loves me. He loves you. He loves humanity, all created in his image to reflect his character here on earth. Jesus died before we knew our need of him, that his love, he declared to those who follow him, that we are now innocent and free. Again, referring to Psalm 139. David, uh, reminds us that we are not a mistake for all of our days are written in his book in God's book. And it's as relevant today as when it was first written and there were life might not look like anything of value or anything of worth God who can only speak truth and cannot lie states. That what he created was very good. And that's, he is. Speaking of is you and me. We are part of this creation by God's hand by God's spoken word. And the thing that I love to think on is God spoke everything into existence, but mankind humans, we are his image bearers, and he took exceptional care in our creation. He actually formed us with his hands and breathed his breath of life into humankind. That to me is just amazing. God calls his people, his treasured possession. Let that sink in a bit, a treasured possession. Now God was speaking to the Hebrew nation. When he made this proclamation, yet we have a gift and a privilege of being grafted into the family of God, through Jesus Christ. We too can be his treasured possession. Do you have a treasured possession? My children are treasured. My grandchild is treasured. Oh, how I love them? All my heart is full. I treasure my husband and our relationship. My little bit of treasury is just a glimpse of God's treasure and of his people. So the little bit that we treasure, which seems at times all consuming is about a fraction, but a glimpse of how God treasures us. And when we treasure something, how often do we think on that person or that thing that we treasure a lot. And sometimes it's all the time. God states in the song mentioned earlier. My thoughts towards you are as countless as the...

Hi, this is Sandra Vernon with face society. And you're listening to the art of connection, woman to woman, heart, to heart messages from my heart to yours, because we, women are all about relationships and connections. This podcast brings you hope in becoming the best version of yourself so that you can build positive relationships So much more. This is titled to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists and Danny Gokey. The lyrics are just phenomenal. I would encourage you to listen to the, to this song so much more. The question that goes with the song is what do you think about God? He is so much more than we can think or imagine. So who is God to you? Because many people will say they believe in God is he's in some lofty unattainable unreachable place. Does heaven caused you to think of clouds and harps and cherubs? Maybe God has become only a symbol to you, perhaps a cross hung around your neck or a Sunday. Ritual of going to church. What I can say is that he is so much more than we can imagine or comprehend. He has far more than we have ever dreamed of, but that may be part of the problem we don't think or imagined thoughts of God. Now I'm not suggesting, suggesting that we try to construct his physical characteristics. We can speculate he was from the middle east so we can speculate what he might look like. And I'm not suggesting that we do that. I just want us to think on and come to know who he truly is. God is with those who are behind bars. He's also with those who are sitting at bars and those who own the bars, God is with the wealthy as well as the poor. He is with us on the mountain, top experience of life, as well as when we are navigating the valleys. He is with the downtrodden, the wounded, the hurt and the lonely God is full of loving kindness. One of my favorite artists, as I said, Danny, Gokey has this song more than you think I am the lyrics, paint a picture of God that we often do not think about. He is not just a judge who condemns evil, but he is a loving God who reaches out to the needy and who reaches out to those who seek him. God is able to do far more than we could ever imagine. God is far more wonderful than we could ever dream. He is far more awesome than we can comprehend yet. He us in to learn of him. That to me is amazing. Those are the things we need to be thinking about. The creator of the universe. God almighty invites us in to learn of him, to get to know him. And since he is God, the creator of all things we to created in his image are to be creative. And part of that creativity is imagination. God is our fortress. Can you imagine a fortress? Think about that. What is a fortress to you? High thick walls, protection, security. God is our fortress. God is our refuge. What would a refuge look like? That would protect you from all harm. God is that to us, our refuge, God says he will hide us under his wing. Now this is not to say he has wings, but his poetic verbiage lens, our imagination to that of a bird. Have you ever seen how the parent bird will cover her chicks to protect them? God does far more than this, but he paints for us a picture that we can imagine. And each of these word pictures, and there are tons of them found in scripture, invites us to imagine what God is like as he gives hints of himself and about himself in his word, he truly is more than we think he is. He is trying. And this meeting that he is God, in three persons, one God, three persons, God, the father, God, the son, God, the holy spirit. He is omniscient. He knows our thoughts. He is omnipresent. He created time for us to live in and by that he is outside of time and therefore is with us always. He is omnipotent. He is all powerful, comforting to know that he can take care of us. God truly is more than we think he is. So let's check aside any false beliefs we have held dear and evaluate them. According to scripture, that's the standard to live by because that's the standard God gave...

[00:00] The past, how do you view it? How does it impact your life? Do you find yourself dwelling there with sweet memories or perhaps the past haunts you with regrets or the what ifs or should have been? The past is powerful. It can be wielded as a powerful tool for growth or conserve as shackles keeping us in bondage, impaired and imprisoned and preventing us from living a joy filled life. I liked this quote. Past is a place of reference, not a place of residence. Does this quote resonate with you? Your unique past can be used as a reference point to learn and grow or are you residing there in the past hidden away with memories, both sweet and bitter. The past it raises its head often and tries to loudly declared that this is the way it is, the past. It can be used as a tool for shame to slither in with regret and condemnation impacting life now and the future. [01:14] The past use this way serves no purpose but to ensnare and entangle each of us preventing us from living life on purpose and in our purpose. Ann Voskamp says that no amount of regret changes the past and no amount of anxiety changes the future. Sandra Vernon here and you are listening to the art of connection. On today's podcast, I will be talking about how the past can be used as a reference point while living in the present, as it also impacts the future. So the past. What comes to mind when you think of the past? Are you thinking of your time as a new bride or in a new career or perhaps further back to your school days? Perhaps you think about your time as a mom, joyous times yet often filled with regret because you wish you would've done this or that differently. With each memory. The question often arises as to why did I do this thing this way? [02:22] Or why didn't I do this thing this way? Why did I allow my children to have smartphones so early? Why didn't die allow my children to have smartphones earlier? Why didn't I push my children to stick with learning music? Why did I push my children's stick? With learning music, you get the idea, the past dredges up wise, which really there's no answer except that you did or you didn't do that particular thing at that moment. It's in the past. There's no answer to the why and it's okay because I am convinced that we do our best at the moment and each season of our life. Hindsight, looking back, as the saying goes, it's always perfect. It's always 20 slash 20 vision. Looking back on the past, there is more clarity, and I'll talk about this more in a bit, but looking on the fat back on the past, it does not do any good to ask the why questions. [03:30] There's no real opportunity for growth with the why questions, why keeps us stuck in regret and oftentimes with that regret is shame. The question that does help in looking at the past as your reference point, the question that does help are the ones that start with what? What can I learn from this experience in the past? What insight might I glean from this situation? How might I have done things differently and what can be applied to the now? Because no amount of regret, the asking the why questions, why did this happen, why did I do this? Why didn't this happen? No amount of those questions or those regrets will change the past, but only further wound our soul, the past. It impacts the person you have become just as water flows through a canyon. Over time it carves out the channels whether deeper or wider. [04:36] So to the past, it creates channels in our soul that run deep and wide. If we focus on it too much, and here's what I'm suggesting for us today, not to live life. Looking back, can you imagine driving and using only your rear view mirror to drive? It would be catastrophic. So my suggestion is that we live life forward. We learned from looking back, but we are designed to live life forward. You and I can always look back and think of the myriad ways we could have done things differently. This is where the hindsight is 20 slash 20. You now...

Do you ever feel out of control? Sometimes? Do you get frustrated with the things you attempt to control, knowing or quickly realizing that you can only do your part and cannot control the entire situation? Control when we feel out of control or have no control over certain things, we become frustrated, irritated on, done. On today's podcast, the issue of control is the topic. I'm Sandra Vernon and you are listening to the art of connection, so I'm today's topic. I'll be speaking about control out of control or in control. It is a stressor of life until you realize this secret. This is a good news and bad news scenario. Okay? Sounds a bit crazy. I know, but hang in there with me. The whole issue of control is just a perspective shift. Really. That's all it is. I want to challenge you to make a perspective shift cleaned to the perspective that it is good news, that there is not a whole lot in your life. You and I can control. That's really good news. It lets us off the hook. How is that you ask? Well, as we let ourselves off the hook from being a champion for every cause, from taking care of everyone's problems, from attempting to control everything in our realm, we learned this as really good news because there's a whole lot in life that is not within our control though we'd like to and those things that are not in control or in our control. Those are the things that bring us frustrations. So for instance, we cannot control how our children behave 100 percent of the time. I'm sure many of you have experienced like I have going to a diner or to a party and only having your children behave in a way you know you did not teach them to behave or we can't control how our spouse interacts in social events. They may say certain things or do certain things that us we're. We're thinking, oh my goodness, why did he or she do that, but it's not in our control or it's not in our control how politics are done or how people treat one another and the list goes on. I would like. I would imagine you can think of more scenarios of things we would like to control, but we can't, so what is within our control, a very powerful bit is within our control. It is so powerful. It makes changes to our life in our thinking. So what is within our control, our thought life. This is within our control, how we manage our thought life is within our control and our response to life circumstances and life's happenings and the outcomes in life. This to a degree is within our control. How we respond to each of these circumstances, happenings or outcomes. We can control our response. We can control our thought life and we can control what we're going to fill our thought life width. So we are each in charge of our thought life. We each are in charge of how we will manage our thoughts and how we will fill our minds. What Diet will we feed our minds and our brains. This is within our control and how we respond to these things. This too is within our control and that's really good news. The things we can control are amazingly powerful things and we can to a degree control how we spend our time. We can control our thoughts and our responses and the actions that follow our thoughts, which leads me to the three key words as it applies directly and specifically to our individual lives. Here are the three perspective changing words. Remember, these three words apply to our thoughts, our responses, our actions. So what are these three words? I am responsible, responsible for my thought life, responsible for my actions and responsible in my response to circumstances and outcomes. These are the areas of life that are within our ability to control and therefore we can say, I am responsible, I am responsible for my thought life and what I fill my mind with. I am responsible for my actions and how I choose to treat others. I am responsible and it is within my control to determine my response. In any given circumstance, I am responsible for how I will spend the 24...

Transitions are a part of life. We each go through them and for many of us, it is a transition from maidenhood to marriage and motherhood and like me, you may have arrived at Maven Hood. These transitions make life a roller coaster ride for sure. Today's guest is a woman who was familiar with adventure and life transitions. Her kindness and ability to reach out and connect with other women is a blessing. Before marrying Adriane was a missionary and when she returned state side worked as an educator. She is a wife to Keith and step mom to two delightful teenagers. Adrianne is also a partner with her husband in Strategic Edge Life and business coaching. She's an avid reader and loves homesteading. Their 30 acre Waggoner Woods farm, in her free time. Adrianne enjoys being creative in the kitchen. You may also find her reading on her front porch or taking the four wheeler out. Rides with her husband were enjoying coffee with girlfriends. It is my distinct pleasure and honor to have Adrian Wagner joined me today. Welcome Adrian, and thank you for joining me as your guest. It's my pleasure. I'm delighted to be here. Sandra. Well, that's great. Well, I'm going to just jump right in. I know we have lots to share. Um, you have some exciting stories to share with your adventures. So let me just jump in with this first question or statement rather, tell me about your travels both as a missionary and an adventure. Okay, well, I started off traveling at a fairly young age. I was about 13 years old and I traveled to Barcelona for a mission trip with my church. Um, it was during the 1992 Olympics and after two weeks in Spain we, uh, were able to share the gospel with some people that were in Barcelona for the Olympics. And then we have a friend of mine and I traveled by train through the Pyrenees mountains in Spain to a small coastal village in France called gay. And I ended up staying with some of my mother's friends. Um, this woman's name was patty and she and my mother knew each other from growing up in Los Angeles and um, they were friends from our church, your home church and Patty had married a Frenchman and she traveled back to France every summer. They were dancing. He was a choreographer and she was a dancer. She was a ballet dancer, so every summer they would go back to France. And um, when I was traveling to France for my first time, uh, we stayed with the family and their relatives. So actually patty wasn't there, but, uh, it ended up being the relatives of her husband. So, um, and stayed on the, on the beach and this small coastal town. It was just lovely. And, um, after a week of staying down in hurry, I took a train with my friend and we went up to Paris and that is where I met up with Patty and patty showed me around Paris. We visited the museum. She talked to me about the history of France. We walked the cobblestone streets and eight and the cafes of Paris. And quickly I fell in love and this started a long term appreciation for the French language and culture. So I returned back to my home in Los Angeles and I started my freshman year of high school that following year and I signed up for French one and that started, um, many years of studies, a French. I continued throughout high school and into college and ended up getting a degree in French. So she played to the seed that I eventually watered. And, you know, I've really enjoyed that part of, um, of learning and growing. Following high school graduation, I spent three months in Switzerland. Um, I was studying the Bible and I'm following my three months there. I ended up going to India on a, another mission trip, um, while I was in India. We served in some of Mother Teresa's orphanages and we shared the gospel with the Indian people. I was 18 when I went and, um, these two trips back to back, uh, they were. Both were life changing, opening. I'm going at such an impressionable age. And, um, I returned to Europe to do some sight seeing, um, after India I...

There are many movements that promote empowering we women, yet with each new wave, we seem to lose our way a bit more. A good majority are not more in the foundation or anchored with the core issues. So on today's podcast I will be speaking about the power of femininity, feminine Queens and Feminine Warriors. We are meant to be feminine and Warriors. We are meant to be warriors in a uniquely Feminine Way. Warrior, Queens, Warrior, princesses, crowned and gowned yes, but being gowned were ready to fight too, and I don't mean to fight in a combat battle style that we think of when we say fight. The women do serve in this role and attempt to prove that we can do it all yet capable doesn't always mean we should now stay with me. Don't get mad and turn off. Please hear me out. Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should or that it's the best, and this applies to many other women's movements in our contemporary culture, and these aren't necessarily grounded in the foundational issues, but have peripheral temp attempts to prove something. There is a war that rages single, married with kids or without. We each play a role in this cosmic battle called life. It is not about eradicating the men and their masculinity, although there are certainly seems a movement to do this very thing. Men are needed to operate in life in their unique ways. We need their contributions to life and this world, not according to the current feminist dictates, but according to creation mandates, the war that rages. It's subtle and unseen. I know far too many angry women who with just a few additional inflammatory issues, rage at the injustice of it all. Certainly there are injustices, but these are not alleviated with anger or trying to totally dismantle what it means to be masculine. Women. We're not always right and men are not always wrong. The men who have been deplorable need to take responsibility for their horrible actions. Women, not all that men do is deplorable because not all men are rotten. Guys, our role as women has over time been misunderstood and misrepresented with culture shifts. There has been waves of feminism to reclaim what our roles are currently. There is what is known as the third wave feminism and perhaps there's even a fourth movement and it seems with each new wave we've drifted the mark of the issues, our anger and our raging at the injustice of it all has taken away from the core issues, so like with the first edition history books, subsequent additions often drift from the first hand account. It's not as accurate and with each addition, that's after that, it becomes less accurate. This hold true for the feminism movement and more on that in a bit, but now what I see is a movement that could be called feminism as it is comprised of women and those supporting femininity. This rise and call to action aims to establish what femininity truly is from a firsthand account. It is an unseen seldom notice battle, but it is there and it has a cost. Whether we actively are participating or not, and with all this, it affects our soul. Are you feeling weary and worn out? Heartache and soul pain overtaking your life? An unsettled feeling of wanting to do something or knowing that there's more to this life because this unseen battle for femininity has a high price. It's been raging for decades, millennia because unnoticed, and even if we don't join in the core issues, still beckon to be addressed and we feel it at a very deep level. So ladies, where do you go when the ache of your heart begins to make itself known? That there's got to be more that these injustices with the femininity at movements attempt to address. Where do you go when that unsettled spirit announces the need for attention. Some of us do get involved in movements and they can be good. They can be a force of good, and then sometimes we fall into buying something in the attempt to feel better or perhaps indulging in food or we might get lost in a book or a TV...

Have you ever considered how you might regain your good health or maintain the health you have? How about the excitement and challenge of downsizing and this after living on a farm? Well, on today's podcast, it is my distinct pleasure to have my friend, an amazing gracious lady as my guest, Pam Hedge. Pam is married to her best friend and they just recently downsized to tiny living. She and her husband reside in a 29 foot fifth wheel outside of Aiken, South Carolina. Pam Retired after 30 years in the publishing industry. The last 11 years spent as the owner, publisher, designer, and editor of her own magazine called all things country. Both her health and her husband had been transformed through plexus and now she shares what she has learned, helping others regain health and vitality. Pam is a passionate kind, caring person by nature and knowledgeable health and wellness coach and network marketer for plexis worldwide. This is a terrific combination for those who are under her care. When Pam isn't helping people change their health and their lives, she enjoys spending her own yarn and knitting. She particularly likes knitting socks. Pam is a proud mom to one daughter who lives in Idaho and delighted to be a grandma to a granddaughter. Pam and her husband Dave share their home with three dogs who rule their lives. Abby, the senior lab and two very spoiled Yorkies Dixie and champ. Pam, thank you so much for joining me on today's podcast. Well, thank you Sandra. I am just thrilled. It's great to have you here. And I'm going to just jump in because I know our listeners want to hear about your, your health journey and what that all entailed. So if you would tell me about your journey to regain your health and that of your husband's. Well, it, it actually started quite by accident. If you would have asked me in February of 2014, I would have told you I was pretty healthy. And so is my husband other than, you know, we were at 50 and you know what happens when you turn 50. So, um, anyway, he had a stroke. He had a stroke and just opened my eyes. He spent a week in UK hospital in Lexington, Kentucky. And they figured out that there wasn't really much they can do about it because of where it was located in the top of his head. So they sent them home with a bag full of medications and they literally turned him into a Zombie. But man I did, I knew for 20 years, wasn't there anymore. He was sleeping all the time. He never did that. He, he, he just was different. So I had actually just a couple more months before that started drinking this pink drink and a friend of mine had been sharing with me and I put her off and put her off and put her off. Finally relented. Well, after Dave had his stroke, I thought I need to do some more research. They have leather products, um, I need to research what all they have. So I got him going on their vitamins and they had a bad that we have an excellent probiotic and, and an Omega product that has five Omegas versus just have three. And I helps his heart and his brain. So I got all all of that into him and he started feeling better. So. And I'm a researcher by nature, my nature, so I have just tried to learn everything I can about the ingredients are all plant based ingredients. Um, it, it's really the best solution I found for our healthcare. Well, that's pretty, uh, pretty amazing. Um, just to what you went through and, and how you've noticed even the benefit for your husband and what he went through with the stroke. Yeah. So dovetailing off that with the benefits, what have you noticed? What have you experienced in improving your, your own personal health? Personally, I, I sleep better. That's what I noticed right off the bat. And when I wake up in the morning, I'm ready to get up and I could before I could lay there for half hour an hour to myself, I didn't even want to get up, you know, that felt good. Now when I wake up, it's my eyes are open and I'm ready for the day because...

My friend and I were discussing shame. She was wondering if you really ever got over it. The shame we have, she was wondering if one just had to endure it to some degree. We each have shame that is hidden away. Our resiliency, our ability to bounce back from shames message is determined by our support group, our community, and the risk we take in sharing on today's podcast, I will address the issue of shame, shame, resist, revisited because it revisits us and I want to address the power to read its hold over our lives. Stacy Eldrid. She's quoted as saying, if we all listened long enough to the voices about who we should be, we grow death to the beauty of who we are. Shame does that to us. It keeps us hidden away. Deaf to the truth of our beauty. Shame keeps us too afraid to be discovered for who we really are because we believe shames message, that we are unlovable, that we are worthless, and that if discovered, we wouldn't be liked, perhaps even despised for our life or for what we did or for what happened to us. This is shames, awful work, damaging our lives, purpose, and destroying our souls. Hope I have suffered, was shamed for decades. It started early in my life due to my childhood perceptions and the story I told myself the feeling of not being good enough, the message that I was too sensitive. You get it. We are told we are either too much or not enough. It may be a fleeting statement by someone that loves us, but somehow it sticks and repetition. We use as evidence making this story, this perception, our truth, part of the fabric of our life. This makes this damning lie all the more damaging my mid teens. I was raped by a boyfriend. I was shamed because I had been drinking and left myself vulnerable. I took it upon myself to shame myself. My boyfriend heaped even more on me. How did I let this happen? Seeking help. Later on, I was blamed by the counselor to whom I had hoped to get some closure and healing. She only confirmed that I was the one who was responsible for what happened to me, and there are other traumatic experiences that left my soul. Oh, so wounded the shame mounting. There were minor occurrences that confirmed shames lies in my life during my undergraduate work. Just feeling a bit out of step with my classmates. I assumed that I was not getting it. They all seem so together too, to admit the need for help when everyone else seemed to get it. I just muddled through, but being on the Dean's list and later the president's list, this did nothing to stop that shame message. Crazy, Huh? Then my graduate work, the lie that I was too stupid that it must have been a mistake for me to get into graduate school and this was a message that a professor heaped on me. He even went as far to ask if I had been a mistake for me to be in graduate school. The shame list goes on. The shame mounts and gains strength. Can you relate to any of this? Do you have any hidden shame that keeps your soul sequestered away? We each have our shame story, and as I said earlier, the resiliency, the ability to bounce back is depends a whole lot on our community and around those who love us and how much we're willing to share and risk, and although it is our story, once shame is revealed, it becomes easier to shine the light of truth and have all the shame storm revealed. And as we allow the work of truth in our life, shame continues to diminish and is eventually loses power. Shames tentacles are often far reaching and deep wrapping around our soul. So it does take a lot of work to loose the stranglehold that shame has on our lives, but it is so worth it. I'm here to tell you it is so worth it. These things I shared with you today are things I couldn't have shared earlier, but no longer will I let shame rule my life. So this may very well be a life work, but it's worth doing to answer my friend. We do not have to learn to live with shame, but we do have to learn to identify it, reveal it, expose it for its lies that it is so we...

What is your favorite way to get some exercise? Are you a member of a gym or a fitness boutique or perhaps enjoy exercise training at home on your TV. Perhaps you are a runner or a power walker. Fitness is not only good for our bodies and health, but our minds as well. On today's podcast, I had the pleasure of my favorite fitness instructor joining me on the show. Laura, Donna telly is an amazing woman who's teaching skills and own fitness journey inspires. Let me tell you a bit more about Laura. My guest, Laura, creative by nature, received her bachelor of fine arts in 2005, concentrating on oil painting from Rutgers University, Mason Gross School of the arts. She then continued on to receive her associate degree in graphic design from Katharine Gibbs School in 2007. After a few years as a freelancer and both graphic design and fine art, Laura began working in customer service in banking for a steadier source of income after her first child, she began her career as a fitness professional by teaching Barr and Mat pilates in the evenings while maintaining her day job. After the birth of her second child, she was afforded the opportunity to stay at home and pursue her interest in fitness. Laura became an ace certified group fitness instructor and continued her polities training through balanced body. She added reformer and apparatus training to her repertoire. Laura is also an fai functional aging specialist and has completed her role the form of foam rolling certification. Laura's passion is bodies. She loves challenging the body in new innovative ways while incorporating a mind body connection. She strives to integrate mind, body, and breath in an effort to strengthen the muscles as well as the spirit. She feels that plays is one of the best forms of exercise to create a lean, long, strong, and balanced body without unneeded force or injury. When Laura is not instructing or doing pilates, you can find her spending time with her family, which include her husband and two young children. Laura's other interest include hiking, drawing, sewing, and baking. Laura, thank you so much for joining me today on the art of connection. Thank you for having me. Well, let's just jump right in. I would like you, if you would please tell me about your fitness journey, how you got started and how it got you are where you are today. eah, I think that, um, my first introduction to fitness was when I was quite young, probably, I don't know, 12 or 13 or so, um, and my sister who is older than me and myself, we used to do aerobics videos in our living room. Um, we would do buns of steel was one of our favorite, which is a well known one. Um, and also, you know, other aerobics videos, Leslie Chasen was another one, um, um, and we would do yoga and so on and so forth. So after, um, all of that, I just continued on doing fitness throughout high school. Um, my sister and I were both involved in horseback riding a lot. I spend a lot of my time as a, a young person working at Barnes in order to afford horseback riding lessons. So I was active in that, in that way. Um, and also did karate as a younger, as a younger person as well. So, um, I had a nice introduction to fitness, a lot of it was based on just what was fun and what was enjoyable without too much pressure as to the results of whatever I was doing, which was nice. Um, as I got older I became more serious as far as trying to make my body look a certain way. There was all the pressures of high school and what everybody should look at look like. And um, so I put a lot of self pressure on myself to, to look the way I expected myself to. So that was a little foray into the negative aspects of, um, body image, um, which, you know, as I've gotten older I've worked through quite a lot to get back to the point where fitness is more fun and enjoyable for myself. That's, that's terrific. And I like how you talked about the body image thing, which is so huge and that you're aware of that and have...

Busyness not busyness, but busy ness seems epidemic, perhaps pandemic now days, and with it, the mantra of how good multitasking is, while multitasking is often necessary in some circumstances, motherhood as an example, research and common sense states that multitasking is detrimental to being mindful, busyness, faithfulness, and consistency. These are the topics for today's podcast, so much of our lives and our days are filled with busyness. Much of the busyness is job related or commitment related and cannot be avoided, and then we add to that wanting to connect and have relationships or pursue our hobbies and the things we enjoy so we multitask. Attempting to squeeze out of each minute, all that we possibly can for efficiency sake and hope that we will free up more time. We mop the kitchen floor while preparing a meal and get the tea brewing for the next batch of Kombucha. We take that busyness call while working on the project on our computer. We call a friend to catch up and while so doing dust furniture while we talk gardening, we listen to a podcast and clean out the garden shed inbetween tossing weeds into the bin. You get the idea, when I was waitressing, I'm mastered multitasking, sort of a requirement to a fit, efficiently serve the patrons. It just made sense to me the way I organize my time and I was quite proud of my skillset. This skill transferred over to other areas of my life and now looking back though I was perhaps efficient. I wonder if I missed much of life in exchange for efficiency missing the moment because I was focusing on what was next, missing the moments forever gone in the shuffle of all we have to do. I believe we miss out on living and enjoying life if we don't practice being engaged in the moment. If we don't practice mindfulness, the moments slip by, and here's a disturbing statistic. A couple of decades ago, the average attention span of an adult was 20 minutes. Now it is. Are you ready for this? Nine seconds, thanks to social media and phones that have us instantly connected for whatever sound byte of information we want coupled with the drive to get tons done to multitask. We have reduced our ability to pay attention from nearly a half hour to less than 10 seconds, nine seconds. It takes me longer to p nine seconds. That's a reduction in and being in the moment and mindful and it's no longer measured in minutes, but just a few seconds. A nine second attention span is grounds for a diagnosis of add or Adhd. Now I'm not making light of this diagnosis, but do you see where the epidemic may not be the letters as much as our lifestyle practices that there might be not be the need for an astronomical proportion of medicated peoples, but a change in how many of us do life busyness a part of life and culture, but can we do busyness different? Do we have to fill every waking hour with things to do and tasks to accomplish? Can we dump some things only due to the most important things? Can we do busy differently? I think so. It starts with our mindset, uh, choosing to be in the moment more than getting tons done, uh, choosing to not get it all done or doing it all because ultimately these little tasks like cleaning out the drawer right now is not as important as looking at your child in his eyes while he tells you his story about his day to not do so. To let this moment pass and moments like these pass your child will soon learn soon. Learn that getting stuff done is more important than connecting and meeting soul needs and the practice of continuing to work on a project, on the blue screen while speaking with a client. Well, people can usually tell when we're not really listening, when we are not truly engaged in the conversation. And often we miss important details because we are not intentional with the conversation. How can we be when our brain is also attempting to do something else for efficiency sake. And how about we no longer choose to hurriedly clean up the kitchen immediately...

To be loved and accepted runs deep. It's hardwired in us from the birth stories of orphanage, infants who do not thrive as they are denied physical touch and gentle, nurturing our heart ringing reality of this need our souls need nurturing and love. On today's podcast, I will be talking about love and truth and how they're related and necessary for our soul. The need to be loved and accepted follows us into adulthood and if this need isn't met or hasn't been met, we find that we began to make small compromises in order to get these needs met. The deep soul need to be loved and the need to be accepted as days and months. Melton two years. If our soul needs are not met, we find that we become someone we hardly recognize and perhaps don't like very much because the drive to be loved and accepted is so strong. This strong soul drive and we attempt to get this need met any way we can. Some of it, it ain't pretty. We do things we never thought we would do, and I'm not saying that this has to be heinous. Things of crime shows, but things that are in our nature we would never imagine doing. We do these things to get the need for love met or we do things to numb the feeling and the pain of abandonment and lack of love, so striving even harder to gain, love to be accepted. We think things we never thought we would think about because we tell ourselves a story about the why. Why don't we receive the love we desire? What is wrong with me? Can you hear the shame and this message here we ask ourselves, why are we not accepted? Why are we not loved? Why do I not belong anywhere? Where do I belong? And the feeling of abandonment overwhelms our heart. Fear overrides love. We have nothing to give, so creating the story to answer these questions of why we may be we may be calm, someone we never thought we would be perhaps becoming so negative that we find people avoiding us and that we don't keep friends or relationships very long This furthers the message of abandonment as it seems to follow us wherever we go. Building on the story we were, we created. Shame is quick to step in with this message. C, you are unlovable. No one can stand to be around you. You're annoying. That is why you are never included. It is because you're so weird that no one likes you or some such message. The cycle continues. The story builds. The message becomes more frequent and with such intensity that are dry for love and acceptance becomes frenetic. The story we tell ourselves becomes part of the fabric of our life, but it is an imposter, a liar. It is not our truth. It is a thread of a lie that has become woven into our life by rehearsing that lie and it's not something we've done on purpose. It's nearly a subconscious level. We may be come to realize that we have become someone we never expected to be and with shame in the mix. It keeps our tender soul in hiding, rehearsing the story that no one would understand, that we're too weird that no one's been through this. Our attempts at getting needs for love met in ways that we were never meant for us. They fall flat each time we fill our mouths in our stomachs with food that has nothing to do with fuel. We fill our minds with things that numb the pain and sorrow we feel we feel our airwaves with volume so loud in an attempt to block out the quiet ego of our souls crying for help, longing for love, and it all seems pretty hopeless. We pursue every avenue possible to receive love and acceptance, but the one and only way that truly fulfills so we pursue these, but ignore the truth that fulfills the wonderful fact is the unchanging truth is we are just one step away from change because there is hope and now for some of these truths, we cannot change the past, but we can start a new story. There is hope we cannot redo history or undo history, but we can turn and start a new way to live in truth and love. We cannot go back to yesterday or yesterday years. Nothing in the past can be changed, but the truth is we...

Have you ever been afflicted with rats you know, really awful thoughts or been plagued with stinking thinking? Do you find that you are stuck in life and can't move along? On today's podcast, I am both honored and excited to have my friend and published author Kathy Anderson, as my guest. She is an expert on making choices about what she thinks on call it mindfulness or call it mindset reset. Kathy offers help to those who are stuck in negative thinking. Let me tell you a little bit about my guest. Cathy Anderson is a teacher, a public speaker, student of Biblical Studies, and Longtime Christ follower. She is one of the kindest women I have ever had the pleasure to know. She is a friend to so many women with joy in her eyes and a smile on her face. She demonstrates putting others first with her care and love. Kathy has been married to her amazing husband, Dan for over 30 years. Their love story is one of faith and love that is pretty incredible. Kathy, his mom to three grown children, one daughter in law, and she's a grandma to one grandbaby. Kathy enjoys writing music, reading and writing books, and loves anything related to health and fitness. Her journey to reclaim her health is inspiring. She currently lives in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where she teaches health and fitness classes for women who have been rescued out of sex trafficking. Cathy's new book, recalculating walkaway from negative thinking with the course correcting power of words was released last fall and became an Amazon's hot new release as well as an Amazon number one best seller. So here with me on today's podcast is Kathy Anderson. Cathy, thank you so much for joining me today. Sandra. It is such an honor to be here on your show. Thank you. Well, Kathy, we shared a little bit about your topic about recalculating. Could you tell us more about your topic and why it's so important? Sure. Sandra, you know, you probably remember the Tom Tom Navigation system prompt that would chime in, you know, anytime that there was a roadblock or a detour or like a traffic jam and it would say the words recalculating and then it would find you a new route to get you to your destination. It would redirect you so you could still get to where you wanted to go and I got to thinking, wouldn't it be nice if our lives actually came equipped with our very own internal navigation system that would recalculate another route for us whenever our lives got off track? Wouldn't that be. Yes, Yes, and in our society that we live in right here in the US, I, I think especially here in the metropolitan hubbub, you know, the east coast where I live, negative thinking is just one of those roadblocks in our lives. Negative thinking is just so pervasive and widespread. It, it just seems to dominate the tone of most of the media. The at facebook or other social media, TV, you know, podcasts talk shows and I find that I can hardly have a conversation anymore without some sort of negativity creeping in and just dominating the direction of the discussion and it just seems like negative negativity is just steering the focus of our lives and it's sowing seeds of discouragement and depression, anxiety and really it's just all around us and it's. It's basically infiltrated the very fabric of our nation and it's actually making us sick and because people have been so immersed in negativity, they think, speak and behave negatively as a result. So you know, when you're steeped in it, it gets in you. It becomes part of you. And you know what's so fascinating to me, Sandra, it's that most people don't even realize that they're trapped in a negative mindset and that they need to recalculate. You know, to find another route, another pathway to a healthier way of thinking, speaking and behaving. And so I wrote my book recalculating as sort of a guidebook to give a new set of directions to take us off the negative road that we often find ourselves on and our words are a huge part of the course...

Waiting, waiting in line at the food store, do you always search out the shortest line or the line? It seems to be moving the quickest only to have it slow to a turtle's pace. Once you join it, waiting in traffic as it snarls along, slowing to a snail's pace, waiting for your turn for your appointment, the your next phenomenon, waiting in a queue only to have someone but in line and boy are you irritated. Waiting, not my strength as I mutter under my breath at the annoyance and the nerve of some people. Are you waiting for anything on today's podcast? This is what I will be talking about. Waiting, waiting on these little things, the waiting in line at a food store or a box store waiting for your turn in line, waiting to be called for your appointment, but then there is this other type of waiting waiting until we do something or accomplish something or achieve something. Perhaps waiting for something to come to an end or for a new beginning. Waiting. It isn't my strong point. It often feels more like punishment or banishment. Delayed gratification. Why must I wait? Whether self imposed or beyond my control, I do not do well with waiting. I almost always ask why and in waiting when it's self imposed, it is usually as punishment like I won't buy myself nice clothes until I lose some weight because I don't want to buy fat clothes and like me with the clothes. Sometimes the waiting is self imposed. We put off things waiting for that perfect situation or until we lose weight or until we get our hair colored or until after vacation or waiting perhaps waiting for your children to get a bit older so you can pursue that hobby or dream or maybe waiting for a new job to arise or a circumstance to change so that you can enjoy life. Waiting for circumstances to change leaves us in a state of discord with our soul. Our children deal with waiting. They can hardly wait until they are in the next grade or in high school or can go to college. We went through this to our children can hardly wait until they can drive until they are emancipated. They're waiting for that time to come. Oh, we miss so much when we focus on the waiting, why don't we put things off and wait. Sometimes it has indeed beyond our control, the waiting, like waiting for our farm to sell here in New Jersey. I must wait for the buyer to come along and see the wonder and beauty that I saw in this place or waiting to hear back from a possible job or opportunity. There is the waiting til you find that one you want to marry. This can be a hard waiting as months and years passed by waiting or married now, waiting to get pregnant. Perhaps the heartrending waiting to see if you can get pregnant. Times of waiting. It can be a trial to our soul, a heaviness of our spirit, a weight on her heart, joy buried beneath the burden of waiting. Then there's this soul wracking waiting, the nerve wracking, waiting to hear back from the doctor about a diagnosis or a prognosis. Wondering as you wait, what will life look like after you received the news? How long will you have? How many days to be with the ones you love waiting or you may already have a medical diagnosis, but you wait to see how the situation will play out for you. What will life look like for you and your loved ones when you're dealing with this medical condition or there is a waiting to hear back from an adult child that has become a stranger, not having heard from them in weeks or months or perhaps even years wondering as you wait, what their life is like, how they're doing, waiting or there's the waiting here back from an attorney regarding an issue that looms like a dark cloud, waiting for responses. What will happen in each imagined scenario? Waiting for answers, waiting. It's part of life's journey. Does it ever get easier? I don't think so. We wait, hands folded or wringing our hands and our hearts mind weighed down with worry, disturbing our thoughts and our sleep and our life, holding onto thoughts and worries...

What is a healthy body image? Do you have one or do you know of anyone who has one, and if they do, are they truly satisfied with what their body looks like? Hi, Sandra Vernon with the art of connection and on today's podcast I will be addressing the issue of body image and how we can choose to reign in this runaway negative thought pattern that does more harm than good and achieving the goals for fitness, health and a joy filled life. And when we ran in our thought pattern to conform to a positive body image, we begin to a positive movement and momentum that is perspective changing and life impacting. I go through three fleeting moments where my body image is positive and accepting. I'm working on and making progress in these positive body images being more sustainable, but I still struggle with longer periods where I silently yet nearly constantly remind myself what my mirror self tells me. And at eight pretty or I see a picture of myself and I think a hug. I look like a turtle and then I even say meaner comments like I look like Jabba the hut or that my neck and Chin makes me look like an Iguana. Wow. How mean is that this self-loathing is harmful and it strengthens the message. Shame gives us and the message is all about image, body, image and appearance which is fleeting in and of itself. The sands of time shift, the inevitable occurs as gravity does its work. Sure we can slow the process. We can live our most healthy, healthy self and these are good things to do to live healthy, but the obsession to achieve and maintain a look that is computer curated or photo edited is so unfair. It's unfair because it's impossible to achieve. It's. It's what the media shows us. Why the obsession? Obsession with appearance. Why not focus on overall wellbeing? Instead, after all, should our happiness be based on our appearance and how we view our body? Shouldn't life be more about how we are walking out our life with purpose, living out our personal mission and vision? Shouldn't we live life and have it be how successful our relationships, our and our personal health, the obsession with appearance will fall into its place, proper place. Then when we focus on these other things, and it is a process to go through the building up of a healthy, positive body image, it takes time to curate positive affirmations, speaking to yourself in a positive manner, letting your brain grasp the message, letting it sink in, and then uproot. The negative thinking is like weeding a garden. You get the soil cleared out and it looks great until a few days later. Weeds appear eventually with continuous weeding. They're all eradicated. The weeds from the garden and the negative self talk can be also be eradicated from our minds, but we must remain diligent in our mind. Weeding. For instance, I confess that I'm still waiting because it is a process and with me over the past several years, the things I told myself cosby to avoid dressing rooms all together and then I was only buying clothes that were big, boxy, loose and comfy. Yet these clothes though they were soft and comfy, left me feeling frumpy and unattractive, especially when I caught myself passing my image of myself in the mirror and then again the negative talk ensued so then I would go to my closet for something else to wear to look nicer and seeing clothes I want spit into each piece seemed to accuse me and shame me, leaving me feeling pretty bad about myself from the clothes on my body and clothes in a closet I could no longer wear. And then here's where the choice comes. And this is where I came to this hinge point. So today, ladies, this is our call to action. The process I went through is realizing I could continue to do what I was doing, which left me feeling unconfident and oftentimes flat out rotten about myself or I could choose to dress my body with kindness. And by this I mean choosing clothes that fit my body and in turn maybe feel a bit better. With this turning point comes...

On today's podcast, I will be speaking about a popular word, but with a twist. Sandra Vernon here with the art of connection and the topic for today is beauty, but first a quote, would you agree with what Alice Walker has to say about beauty? Whenever we are creating beauty, we are restoring our soul. Before you answer, I want to first define beauty. Beauty is a combination of qualities that pleases the senses, especially site. We know what this beauty looks like. It is skin, deep fashion, conscious and captivates attention. It's often marveled at and just as often subjective because as the saying goes, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and the short view of beauty that we see beauty, the sands of time quickly adjust. There isn't art to aging gracefully and beautifully and when we focus not only on appearance but with this twist on beauty. The aging process can be done with grace and it tends to be a breeze. The beauty of which I speak, the twist on beauty of which I mentioned is enduring beauty. This beauty, it's timeless and goes beyond the surface and while being partnered with appearance, it is not limited to the constraints of appearance. How often have you known of an incredible beauty? She's lovely to behold, only to have the illusion shattered when the word spoken are anything but beautiful or the attitude a cervic or downright nasty. Enduring beauty is a character quality. This beauty originates from our heart and soul. It is a beauty that scripture encourages we women to develop just as we can develop the skills of enhancing our physical beauty by learning how to artfully apply makeup style our hair and dress well, making the most of our appearance, the character quality of beauty can we also developed enduring beauty, pours forth out of a woman's heart that is filled with love. Enduring beauty is focused on others. It's inviting, welcoming and encouraging. Enduring beauty creates and in so creating. Our soul is nourished and refreshed and each of us are uniquely equipped to create beauty in our lives. As I said, we do this with our appearance and also as we develop our character and yet beauty extends from our hands to when we put our unique gifts and talents to use. This is where each of us is unique. There is no one us and no one puts these gifts to work quite like you or quite like me. My friend is a jeweler. I love the pieces she creates and yet another friend creates Julie. That jewelry that is quite lovely to hers is just different and they're equally as beautiful jewelers. Both of them are but so different in how they apply their gifts. I have a friend or friends rather who are authors. One writes fiction and a few others write nonfiction beauty in the creation with a message unique to each author. The beauty of gardens, whether floral or herbal or vegetable or some combination are beautiful, different, different textures, different fragrances, different colors. All beauty created by the hands of the gardener or the beauty of motherhood. Many of us have been blessed with each of us. Moms operating in our own unique flavoring of motherhood. It's beautiful, too often we refrained from using the very things that would bless others. I have found this in my life as I transitioned from motherhood, motherhood to Maven life, navigating new waters, sorting out past stuff that I was mired in and I found that I was mired in a shame storm for me, shamed kept my gifts under wraps, and if you want more information on shame, check out my podcast on that topic with shame. I disqualified myself, disqualified myself from using any of my giftings because the shame message icon do convinced me that I had nothing of value to offer or contribute what ally and I listened to it. I believed it and I operated in it. Missing out on beauty and missing out on a lie a lot from this life. So when we do this, the world misses out on all we have to offer and all that we can contribute. Each of us have gifts and talents that...

Our theology is best expressed in our hospitality. What do you think about this quote? What does our hospitality say about us? In today's podcast, I'll be talking about hospitality. It is another way we can connect with others and here at face society it's all about the art of connection. Hospitality. It is both something we do and a gift some possess. You know those people that are both warm and welcoming and have a home that is so inviting. It isn't that everything is perfect, but that these people have the gift of making their home come together in such lovely ways that I don't even imagine. I can't even imagine, but like those pinterest crafts I attempt to copy. We can all be hospitable offering hospitality just as we all have gifts. We can sing songs, doodle or draw and some are more gifted in these areas than others. We each have gifts unique to ourselves that contribute to our world in ways that are beautiful, but even in these areas where we may not be gifted or we may not excel, we can learn and use these things. Hospitality, I believe is one of them. Hospitality, it's defined as the friendly and generous reception and entertainment have guests, visitors or strangers, and in this definition even I can practice hospitality. My home is never super neat and tidy. My place mats, if I remember to use them or a mismatch with one or two that should have been washed before being placed out for guests, but no worries. I just turned it over and let a family member used the dirty one. If I remember, I'll get fresh flowers, do a quick vacuum and a cursory dusting, tidy up a bit, the powder room and prep, whatever foods that will be offered. I follow some lovely ladies on Instagram who are amazing and the creation of their banquet type title tables. They're truly gifted ladies and I admire their that gift and how they operate in it. I gather ideas from these ladies but also cut myself slack because this is not a natural or a gifting area of mine hospitality, but I opened my door to friends, acquaintances, and loved to entertain with theme parties and as hospitality is defined, I am hitting the mark. Hospitality doesn't always have to look all pretty, but she'd always fulfill a need for companionship, fellowship meeting, deep heart needs. Hospitality opens the door for connection and we can be hospitable everyday by being engaged in the moment with a person we are with listening, hearing, loving. This to me is being hos hospitable. It's offering hospitality. Offering hospitality is more of a mindset than a setting of a table. I think that we can offer hospitality as traditionally in our home, but outside our home as well. Hospitality is most often opening up our home for others to come enjoy a meal and in and enjoy some companionship, but I think it doesn't need to be limited to this. We can practice doing one thing for one person that we wish we could do for everyone. I believe this is offering a hospitality. Perhaps it's visiting a lonely neighbor down the road. You know the one that you just never see come out very often. Sometimes their papers collected the end of their driveway. Reaching out to them in hospitality could do wonders, or perhaps hospitality is inviting a friend who feels left out or forgotten. I can't tell you how many times throughout my life I never quite felt like I fit in somewhere and then God bless a woman who would reach out to me and hospitality, inviting me in. So hospitality I believe is a mindset and heartset as much as having a beautiful home and a beautiful table set for people to come and enjoy. Perhaps hospitality is seeing a homeless person and inviting them to join you for a diner dinner and give them a meal regardless of what they might do after. Because this is a no judgment zone. We want to just offer hospitality. It's a unique way to approach life because it offers a kind and safe place for others to recline for awhile. Most often in our home, but always in our presence. Those...