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In this episode, I unpack what it really means to feel sexually disconnected and disempowered as a woman. I explore why so many women feel numb, shut down, resentful, bored, or distant from their sexuality – and why this is far more common than most people realize. I talk about the roots of sexual disconnection, from conditioning and negative experiences to lack of education, self-knowledge, and true safety. Most importantly, I share how to begin rebuilding a loving, empowered relationship with your body, desire, sensuality, and pleasure. In this episode: What sexual disconnection can look like in real life Why many women feel sex is “for someone else” How shame, numbness, and resentment are often learned patterns The missing link between sensuality and sexuality Why self-knowledge is the foundation of sexual empowerment How to begin reconnecting with desire, pleasure, and your body What becomes possible when sexuality finally feels like it belongs to you Join my Sensuality course: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/zen-suality Join waitlist for my year-long mastermind SHAMELESS: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless-waitlist Related episodes: 113: Are you a teen or a woman in the bedroom? → 111: Flirting, feeling confident, masculine women, sexual growth in a relationship →

In this episode, I explore the nuance of sexual intimacy in long-term relationships and what it really means to meet each other in desire, even when you’re not fully “in the mood.” I share the deeper context behind a recent (and quite controversial) post about offering a blowjob as an alternative form of intimacy and unpack why this idea sparked so much conversation. We dive into the differences between male and female arousal, spontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why sexuality is far more complex than a simple yes or no. This episode opens up a more expansive way of thinking about intimacy, where communication, choice, and mutual satisfaction take the lead. This is an invitation to move beyond rigid definitions of sex, to explore what feels truly aligned for you, and to approach intimacy from a place of empowerment, generosity, and self-awareness. In this episode: Why desire differs between men and women The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire Why intimacy doesn’t always have to include penetration How to stay connected when you’re not in the mood for sex The role of communication, consent, and boundaries Reframing giving (including oral sex) as a choice, not an obligation How sexual empowerment transforms your relationship Related episodes: 67: Embrace your desire style: explaining spontaneous vs. responsive desire → 69: The ultimate desire hack: how to have more sex in your longterm relationship →

In this episode, I explore the art of relaxation and why so many women struggle to truly rest. I share my personal journey of moving out of “go-go girl mode,” how quitting caffeine changed my relationship with my body, and why modern culture keeps us stuck in chronic stress. We dive into the concept of yin and yang energy, why relaxation is essential for hormonal health and pleasure, and how learning to rest can transform your nervous system, libido, and connection to your body. This episode is both an invitation and a permission slip to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and discover the power of rest as a pathway to deeper pleasure and self-awareness. In this episode: Why modern culture keeps us trapped in constant productivity and stress The difference between yin (relaxation) and yang (action) energy How chronic stress affects hormones, libido, and pleasure Why many women struggle to feel safe enough to truly rest Simple practices to access relaxation in your body The connection between nervous system regulation and sexual pleasure What real self-care looks like (and what it isn’t) Related episodes: 89: Productivity vs pleasure – how to make space for pleasure in burn-out culture →

In this episode, I share a deeply personal reflection on turning 40, living in the in-between without a home, and what it has taught me about identity, nervous system regulation, and belonging. I talk about choosing family over constant movement, how simplifying life has changed my relationship to desire and sexuality, and why prioritizing both quality and quantity time with children feels radically countercultural. We explore the grief and surrender that come with big life transitions, the myth of “having it all,” and how motherhood reshaped my values, attachment patterns, and sense of self. This episode is an honest look at choosing a slower, more rooted life—and finding pleasure, intimacy, and aliveness inside it. In this episode: Turning 40 and living in the “messy middle” without a home Stress, caffeine, and how they affect mood, libido, and arousal Roots, family, and community as nervous system support Motherhood as identity shift—and choosing a slower, simpler life Quality + quantity time with kids, and why it feels countercultural Letting go of “having it all” while still staying connected to desire

In this episode, I answer three honest and intimate questions from my community about mental arousal and fantasy, shame or disgust around self-touch, and burning or sensitivity at the vaginal entrance. We explore why the brain is essential for pleasure, where the “dirty” feeling around touching yourself comes from, and how to listen to your body when it communicates through sensation rather than symptoms. In this episode: Why mental arousal and fantasy are a natural and necessary part of pleasure Letting go of judgment around needing erotic imagination to feel turned on Where the “dirty” feeling around self-touch is learned and how to change it Psychological, subconscious, and somatic roots of sexual shame Burning or sensitivity at the vaginal entrance as tension or stored communication How to gently explore sensation through presence, touch, and body awareness Related episodes: 109: Q&A: Sex questions we’re afraid to ask (but should) → 107: Q&A – rebuilding desire, expressing needs, unhealthy fantasies, overcoming shame and MORE →

In this episode, I drop in with an honest life update after a long pause from the podcast. I share what the past months have really been like behind the scenes—sleep deprivation, sickness, moving homes during the holidays, intense mothering seasons, and the slow return to myself. We talk about pride in motherhood, being seen and appreciated, coming out of a year of deep healing, and what it truly takes to expand without burning yourself out. In this episode: Life updates after winter, sickness, moving, and parenting through exhaustion Sleep deprivation, nervous system regulation Being seen, honored, and appreciated in partnership Moving from deep healing into expansion, creativity, and momentum Guilt, fear, impatience, and choosing joy, boundaries, and self-trust JOIN SLUT ACADEMY 👉 JOIN THIS LIFE CHANGING PROGRAM https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy Related episodes: 25: Slut Academy 26: The Slut Archetype – what and who is she and why she'll revolutionize your sex life! 97: Erotic expansion – understanding and playing with domination and submission 34: The importance of imperfect pleasure and sex

In this episode, I answer three powerful questions from my community about orgasms, disgust in self-touch, and how to find your way back to sex after a long dry spell in a relationship. We explore the refractory period after clitoral orgasm, how to “edge” your pleasure to expand into vaginal orgasms, what’s really behind feeling icky or nauseous when you touch your body, and how to reconnect intimately with your partner when sex has felt clunky or disappointing. In this episode: Why pleasure is a choice and how attention grows desire The refractory period after clitoral orgasm and what to do about it Using edging to expand pleasure and support vaginal orgasms Disgust and nausea during self-touch as a protective, learned response Somatic and emotional tools for healing shame and body aversion Rebuilding sexual connection with your partner after months without intimacy JOIN SLUT ACADEMY 👉 JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE to get 50% off enrollment, exclusive bonuses, first access to spots, and my erotic diaries newsletter: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy-waitlist Related episodes: 25: Slut Academy 26: The Slut Archetype – what and who is she and why she'll revolutionize your sex life! 97: Erotic expansion – understanding and playing with domination and submission 34: The importance of imperfect pleasure and sex

In this episode, I unpack a powerful question from a listener who shared that while she’s a fully capable adult woman in every area of life (career, motherhood, friendship, creativity), but her sexuality still feels frozen at age twelve. She resonated deeply with my reel “Are you a teen or a woman in the bedroom?” and described the confusion of being perceived by others as sensual while internally feeling disconnected from her own body. Together, we explore what it means to evolve from that teen-like sexual identity into an embodied, confident adult woman… and how vulnerable, confusing, and awakening that transition can be. In this episode, I talk about: Why your erotic self can lag decades behind your adult self-image Early sexual imprinting and how it silently shapes your confidence today The “capable woman” identity and why sexuality is the one place it often collapses Vulnerability with your partner: why it feels terrifying and why it matters How repressing emotions shuts down your pleasure and orgasmic potential Dropping performance and approaching sexuality as a learnable skill Identity-based habits that support your evolution into an empowered sexual woman Download the Quick Start Guide to Identity-Based Habits by James Clear to map out daily actions that support your new mature sexual identity. Join the Slut Academy waitlist (sae 50% on enrollment + bonuses + frist access to limited spots) to walk this rite of passage with me over four months and become the free, powerful, orgasmic woman you came here to be: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy-waitlist Powerful resource, a guided meditation, from the pod: 85. Empowering Narrative meditation

In this episode, I share what it means to step fully into your slut era inside a committed relationship (or in singlehood). I talk about why this energy is so powerful, how it revived my own desire, and how reclaiming the word slut can transform sex that feels flat, disconnected, or routine. In this episode, I talk about: What a “slut era” looks like in a monogamous marriage A new, empowering definition of the word slut Why long-term relationships often dull desire — and how slut energy reignites it Releasing shame, body judgment, and the “respectable woman” identity The difference between sensation and true erotic power Awakening the slut archetype for creativity, freedom, and wild pleasure Making space for taboo fantasies without fear or self-judgment How erotic energy boosts confidence, vitality, and relational intimacy Who Slut Academy is for and why community matters in this work JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE and get amazing discounts and bonuses PLUS my exclusive erotic diaries newsletter! https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy-waitlist Related episodes: 25: Slut Academy 26: The Slut Archetype – what and who is she and why she'll revolutionize your sex life! 97: Erotic expansion – understanding and playing with domination and submission 34: The importance of imperfect pleasure and sex

In this episode, I answer my student's question about embracing your sensuality and navigating the shift within a committed partnership. I explore how to handle new attention from others, soften old “ice queen” protection patterns, and invite your partner into this new chapter without pressure or fear. I also share pieces of my own awakening and offer mindset tools, scripts, and practices to help you feel grounded, desired, and fully in your feminine energy. In this episode, I talk about: Why your sensual awakening changes how people respond to you Old insecurities, “ice queen” energy, and stepping into embodied confidence Attention as an exchange — and why you don’t owe anyone anything Masculine vs. feminine energy in dating and long-term relationships Becoming more approachable by shifting into your feminine How to receive compliments and decline flirtation with grace Inviting your husband into your erotic growth (without pressure) Navigating light, innocent flirtation while staying in integrity Rethinking monogamy, fantasy, and relationship agreements Related episodes: 109: Q&A: Sex questions we’re afraid to ask (but should) → 107: Q&A – rebuilding desire, expressing needs, unhealthy fantasies, overcoming shame and MORE → 14: How to be sexual/sexy AND feel safe in this world Let’s connect! Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn

This short episode is a love note to your sexuality, and an invitation to come home to it. I share one of my favorite analogies to help you understand what it means to truly inhabit your sexual self, to stop treating your sexuality like an abandoned house and start tending to it like the warm, beautiful home it’s meant to be. In this episode, I share: The difference between being disconnected from your sexuality and feeling fully at home in it How neglecting your pleasure shows up in your body and relationships What it means to take ownership of your sexual energy and desires How you can start reclaiming your sexuality through simple, embodied practices An invitation to join Pleasure Treats - my mini course to help you do exactly that Links and resources: Join Pleasure treats: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/p-treats Related episodes: 32: PLEASURE TREATS → Let’s connect! Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn

This episode is another Q&A, and I love doing these because the questions always open up such real and juicy conversations. Today, I answer three big ones. They’re not quick yes or no questions, they’re the kind that touch on shame, fear, pleasure, kids, relationships, healing after trauma — all the stuff that makes sex and intimacy feel complicated and human. I share some of my own tools and perspectives that you can actually try in your own life, whether you relate directly to the questions or not. Questions answered in this episode: 1.How do I get over my insecurity with pleasuring a man? I explain how to shift from embarrassment to curiosity, work with the fears underneath, and allow yourself to learn step by step. 2. How can I feel sexual and free when I am also a mom and my kids are in the house? I talk about starting honest sex education early, creating boundaries like locking the door, and doing your own inner work so kids see sex as normal and positive. 3. Can I ever truly enjoy sex after experiencing sexual trauma? I share that deeper healing is possible by working with the subconscious and body, aiming first for emotional neutrality and then for joy and connection. Related episodes: 93: Amazing sex = amazing life. Sexual growth is at the center of all personal growth → Let’s connect! Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn

In this episode, I talk about desire as a sacred path back to yourself—how wanting (not just needing) is deeply empowering in life and in the bedroom. I share how to recognize true desires, rekindle turn-on with simple practices like fantasy and play, and meet any inner resistance with compassion. We finish with a gentle guided visualization to help you connect with your own desire and take one small, aligned step forward. In this episode, I talk about: How your desires can guide you toward an authentic life Needs vs. desires — why the difference matters Building self-worth and daring to want more Desire as the gateway to your erotic self Why fantasizing is good for your sex life Owning your turn-ons (and turn-offs) without shame Why desire doesn’t have an expiration date A guided practice to connect with what you truly crave This is a recording from a live online event I taught. Enjoy! Join my mastermind SHAMELESS https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless Related episodes: 94: Kink as a healing and self-discovery tool with Faith Laux → 93: Amazing sex = amazing life. Sexual growth is at the center of all personal growth → Let’s connect! Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn

This Q&A is overflowing with bold, vulnerable, and relatable questions from my FREE GROUP COACHING gathering. It’s playful, honest, and deeply empowering. Zero shame, zero filter — only truth, guidance, and pussy wisdom. In this episode, I answer: How to rebuild intimacy and desire after heartbreak in a long-term relationship Keeping the sexual spark alive in long-term relationships How to communicate likes and dislikes in bed without offending my husband How to express wanting a highly sexual partner while dating, without attracting men only seeking casual sex Are any sexual fantasies “unhealthy”? Struggling with arousal after having a child and feeling unsatisfied with quick, non-nourishing orgasms How to tell my partner I want deeper sexual growth and fulfillment when I feel too shy Overcoming shame around quick masturbation after trauma and learning to enjoy “quickies” with myself Why did my body shut down sexually after breakthrough orgasmic experiences at age 57? You can still join the FREE GROUP COACHING with me - it's free!! You the recording from the first session and are invited to the final session on Wednesday, August 27th. https://www.erika-alsborn.com/free-group-coaching Join my mastermind SHAMELESS https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless Related episodes: 91: The language of touch and using sensual massage as a path to deeper relationship intimacy 98: Unleash and embody the Slut Archetype for the best sex and pleasure! → 90: Perfectionism is blocking you from intimacy, pleasure and partnered sex → Let’s connect! Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn

This Q&A episode is packed with real, raw, and relatable questions from my FLOWER POWER event last week. Listen and learn lots! It's fun, honest, and empowering. No shame, no filter – just truth, insight, and lots of pussy wisdom. In this episode, I answer: What does it mean that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone? Why do I feel shame or lack of fulfillment after orgasming quickly? What is de-armoring and how does it help with sexual healing? Can I explore cervical stimulation if I have an IUD? Why can’t I locate my cervix – where is it really? How do I know if a penis is touching the cervix? Is it normal to have structures inside my vagina that feel like tubes? Why do clitoral orgasms feel too intense or make me cramp? What’s the difference between self-pleasure and masturbation? What can I do when I can’t orgasm with a partner due to pressure? You can still join FLOWER POWER - it's free!! You get all the recordings and are invited to the final session on Thursday, August 14th. https://www.erika-alsborn.com/flower-power-blossom-edition Join my mastermind SHAMELESS https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless Related episodes: 98: Unleash and embody the Slut Archetype for the best sex and pleasure! → 90: Perfectionism is blocking you from intimacy, pleasure and partnered sex → Let’s connect! Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn

In this episode, I’m joined by Johanna, a graduate of my SHAMELESS program, just a few months after she completed the year-long journey. This conversation is full of depth, nuance, and honesty as we explore what it really means to move from codependency and self-doubt to a place of grounded, embodied power. Johanna shares how she went from longing for something she couldn’t name to fully claiming her pleasure, her voice, and her womanhood. In this episode: Johanna’s transformation from insecurity and people-pleasing to grounded self-trust What it means to “choose yourself” and move from girl to woman Releasing the fantasy of a “life script” and embracing self-authored sexuality Rewiring pleasure through consistent self-practice Investing in herself: time, energy, and money, and why it was worth it The beauty of a multi-generational women’s group and being deeply witnessed This one is rich. Johanna’s story is a beautiful example of what happens when we say yes to ourselves and allow transformation to unfold in the body, on our terms. Related episodes: 40: Reclaiming your sexuality as a personal growth journey - Interview with Carolina → 39: SHAMELESS - Magnify your capacity to feel pleasure and be powerful and orgasmic → Let’s connect! Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn Links and resources: Join the waitlist for Shameless: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless

In this episode, I sit down with a 2023 graduate of my program, SHAMELESS - MC - to reflect on her journey, months after completing the year-long container. We talk about what led her to say yes to the program, how it changed her relationship with her body and sexuality, and the lasting impact it’s had on her life. This is a tender, honest, and often funny conversation about the real work of healing and remembering who we are. In this episode: This conversation is for anyone craving more connection to their sensuality, softness, and self-expression. I'm so honored to share her story with you. Related episodes: 76: SHAMELESS - Exploring the Depths of Sexual Empowerment with Faith→ 73: Marcella's Journey Through SHAMELESS and the Story of Surrendering to Self→ Let’s connect! Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn Links and resources: Join the waitlist for Shameless: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless-waitlist

Hey, dear friend, It’s been a while. This episode is me catching you up on where I’ve been, what I’ve been moving through, and why I took a 5-month break from the podcast. No script, just me showing up raw, real, and ready to be seen. I share about the deep inner work I’ve been doing behind the scenes—what cracked me open, some old painful beliefs that surfaced, and what it’s been like to really face myself. It’s been humbling, healing, and wild. And honestly, I feel like I’m coming back to life. Slowly. Gently. But truly. In this episode, I share: Why I hit pause on everything and what brought me to my knees The spiral of “I’m not good enough” that took over last winter How I decided to finally face the roots, not just the symptoms What it means to feel safe, loved, and enough in my body again How this deep inner work has made me a better coach, partner, and human A little peek at what’s coming next (👀 Shameless is returning soon!) This isn’t just a “back online” announcement—it’s a love letter to my own healing and an invitation for you to feel a little less alone in yours. I’m still integrating, still unwinding old stories, still walking the walk. But I’m here. And I’m so glad you are too. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being here. Talk soon, Erika Links and recourses: Shameless mastermind opening soon: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless-waitlist Related Episode: 39. SHAMELESS – Magnify your capacity to feel pleasure and be powerful and orgasmic https://open.spotify.com/episode/26A7X2Blk40S9bddSpyEWQ?si=0c93984d06d4490e

Tired of the same old, same old in the bedroom? Feeling bored with your sex life? This episode explores how incorporating roleplay can reignite passion, deepen intimacy, and bring back the thrill to your relationship. I dive deep into the world of sexual roleplay, exploring its benefits, how to get started, and how to make it a safe and enjoyable experience for both partners. We'll discuss how roleplay can break down inhibitions, foster communication, and add a much-needed dose of adventure to your relationship. Join for valuable insights and practical tips on how to rediscover the spark in your relationship. In this episode: The importance of play. Understanding the nuances of roleplay and how it can be applied to sexual encounters. Benefits of roleplay How roleplay can help you break free from sexual inhibitions and explore new desires. How to get started with roleplay Tips for successful roleplay Common misconceptions of roleplay Special Mention: Enrollment for Slut Academy is now open! This transformative four-month course is designed to help you reclaim your sexual power, creativity, and pleasure. With guided rituals, practices, and a supportive community, it's the ultimate journey to rediscover and celebrate your erotic essence. LINK TO SLUT ACADEMY Let’s connect! Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn Links and resources: Honey pot link: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/602aaf6ff6b5473d9134edfc Related Episodes: 97: Erotic expansion – understanding and playing with domination and submission→94: Kink as a healing and self-discovery tool with Faith Laux →

Have you ever wondered how to transform your menstruation into a source of power, honor, and healing? In this final episode of the three-part series on menstruation, I delve into the transformative power of your cycle and the deep symbolism of menstrual blood. From rituals that honor your feminine essence to meditation designed to help you connect with your womb, this episode offers profound tools to shift your mindset and embrace menstruation as a sacred practice. Whether you're actively menstruating or past that phase of life, this episode provides insights and practices that can resonate with every woman. This episode invites you to reimagine your relationship with menstruation and discover the profound empowerment it holds. In this episode: The importance of changing your attitude toward period blood. Ritualistic ways to honor your menstrual cycle, including painting, free bleeding, and offering your blood to nature. How to use menstruation as a portal for emotional and spiritual release. Practical guidance on how to release negative beliefs and embrace the dark goddess within. Using your cycle as a time for introspection, wisdom gathering, and transformation. Special Mention: Enrollment for Slut Academy is now open! This transformative four-month course is designed to help you reclaim your sexual power, creativity, and pleasure. With guided rituals, practices, and a supportive community, it's the ultimate journey to rediscover and celebrate your erotic essence. https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy Let’s connect! Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn Links and resources: Honey pot link: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/602aaf6ff6b5473d9134edfc Related Episodes: 92: Menstruation part 1: A journey to menstrual empowerment and understanding → 95: Menstruation part 2: The power of bleeding, life and death cycles and menarche →