Fatherhood: Perspectives on Righteous Intentional Parenting

Joseph and Taylor share ideas about holding on to kids so tightly that we crush the relationship we have with them. They share examples of times when they have realized they need to let go a little, so their children could grow. Everyone worries about their kids. Some of us more than others. But, the fear that accompanies that worry can also bring up needed anger. The guys talk about mustering trust in their children, in themselves, and in God.

Joseph and Taylor discuss the vital part that mothers play in their lives.

Taylor and Joseph discuss the foundational principle of compassion. They share thoughts on how compassion fits into their roles as fathers, as spouses, and as sons.

Taylor and Joseph discuss the concept of contentment. What is it? How do we find it? Is it possible to have it when times are tough? Being content does not mean just settles, stops trying, growing, or learning. But what is it, and why do we seek it?

Joseph and Taylor discuss the power of vision and goals, and how they can transmute themselves into reality. They share experiences of their own, stories of how their children have taught them more about these things. They also explore the importance of helping children learn to use goals and vision to give power to their own lives as they grow.

Taylor and Joseph discuss resolutions, goals setting, and the development of new habits as we start a new year.

Joseph and Taylor discuss ways to brighten the Christmas Holiday. They share stories and give examples on how anyone can do it – and make their Christmas lighter and more spirit-filled.

Taylor shares a story about one of his sons. As a 7-year-old his son’s integrity was in question because of some cyberbullying in school. When this was discussed with the teacher, the response was, “I knew it wasn’t your son because he never behaves that way”. The fruits of teaching kids about honesty and integrity paid off for this boy at age 7. Taylor shares a story about the lack of integrity he found in a man who decided to show his kids how to take advantage by being less than – and got called on it, and exposed in front of those same kids. As a parent, what are you teaching, what example are you showing your kids? How much of it is actually getting through to them? You may be surprised – in a good way.

A powerful episode focusing on the importance of a father to his daughter. In an interview with Samira, Taylor’s wife, we learn about a single father raising teenage daughters on his own. Samira talks about how her father was a man who had a gift for relating to all kinds of people. And, how that gift benefited her, and her sisters who are not at all the same. She speaks of seeing the sacrifice he made for his family, the things he gave up. His love for people and his Christ-like way of living. Beyond things like money, power, and positions, her father should his girls what really matters in life.

Joseph and Taylor discuss a subject that is a little frightening to some of us. Disciplining our kids. They share examples and experiences of how vital disciplining children is to their happiness. How holding back discipline and correction prevents kids from understanding that they are responsible for their choices and actions. This episode dovetails well with the previous episode on setting boundaries.

A vital aspect of a peaceful home, and (believe it or not) happy children is boundaries. We’re not talking a fence around the yard – we’re talking setting limits on behavior and activities that will help keep kids safe in the long run. Joseph and Taylor discuss the seeming dichotomy between giving children everything they want to keep them happy and set limits and boundaries that they may fight against – but in the long run that help them stay happy and grow into well-adjusted adults. They also talk about the need to set appropriate boundaries that work for your family. Choosing limits that you are willing to stick to. Because – giving in means teaching kids that all they have to do to get what they want is keep fighting ‘cause mom and/or dad will give in.

Taylor and Joseph conduct a powerful interview with a suicide survivor Ryan Burke. Ryan unflinching shares his story. He gives perspectives and suggestions on how you might help someone who is struggling – and encouragement and wisdom if you are struggling yourself. This may be a frightening subject, but it is important that we all learn more. Suicide numbers have risen steadily in the past decade, with the largest proportion of that number being males (by almost 3 to 1). Frighteningly, the fastest-growing demographic in suicide are young people. If you are dealing with thoughts of self-harm, or are concerned for someone else and don’t know where to start call the Nationwide Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255 that’s 1800-273-talk -or- go to safespace.vibrant.org. After July 16, 2022, you can simply dial 988

Taylor shares insights from an article written by Jordan J. MacRae in July of 2012. Mr. MacRae, an inmate in prison in New Hampshire, authored ‘In The Absence of Fathers: A Story of Elephants and Men”. This article the behavior of young, or juvenile elephants, left without the influence of Adult Bull elephants – and the young men without fathers and other positive male role models. Taylor and Joseph share their insights on the importance of male role models for children, And, how a father doesn’t need to know everything to make a difference. He just has to be trying to be a good person, and be present. A full copy of the article is found here: https://beyondthesestonewalls.com/blog/gordon-macrae/in-the-absence-of-fathers-a-story-of-elephants-and-men

Joseph and Taylor take a week off - and you get to listen to an interview from their producer/engineer Jim Fugate, and his podcast, An Ounce. A program Note: The audio quality, especially on my side of this interview, is not great. I apologize. My mic just didn’t want to function properly and it cannot be fixed – but the interview content is too good not to share. Have you ever met someone that has that great attitude? You know. That person who – when life throws them a curveball, or an unexpected outcome, they smile, laugh, and somehow find a way to have fun with it. The one who; when they are facing some challenge and you go to visit them and live their spirits, and they lift you instead. Everyone has met someone like this, they must be born with it. That inborn ability to stay realistically positive. What would you say If I told you that you don’t have to be born with it? You can be that person – the one who is a blessing to everyone around you. I got to interview Beth Mac Afee, and she’s got a secret to share on how you can do this. It’s simple. Not necessarily easy. But, simple & worth the effort. Committing to it will make life better for you, and everyone you meet.

Taylor shares an experience he recently had with his wife in Mexico. While walking o the beech they came across another family and began a conversation. The conversation turned to their shared role as parents. And, though their life circumstances were different, there experience as parents, was a common bond that caused a 40-minute walk on the beach to turn into a very uplifting 3-hour conversation. There is a bond between fathers. Those who care about their role as dads, son’s and husbands, will always have something in common. And, conversations about those things help us, strengthen us, give us perspective, ides, hope, and joy.

Joseph shares a story in which he strives to find something he wanted for four days, and how he finally found what he needed – and then got what he wanted. The experience shows how frustrating delays and irritating little issues can be for our good. Taylor and Joseph discuss how the Lord will often delay our getting what we think we need, in order to give us what really need. And, how this understanding and patients can help with fatherhood.

Joseph and Taylor discuss experiences in teaching there children how to have faith, and in praying to God for help. There stories include great – perhaps even miraculous – experiences of encouraging their children to pray for something, and then their own time pleading with God to answer the prayer of their child. But, realizing perhaps they should have worried so much as even an seemingly unanswered prayer can be the subject for great learning and discussion. That, at times, the best learning comes from stepping back and allowing experience to teach. It’s can be hard to appreciate at the time, but looking back we and our children will find we learned the most when something was hard.

Joseph and Taylor talk about the influence negative self-defeating thoughts can have, and how to short circuit them. How to get your kids talking to you, and keep them talking, so you can help them to overcome or avoid negative self-talk and worry.

Joseph and Taylor discuss the challenges children face in finding a trusted source of information. Joseph shares a story about breaking the news that can often blow a child’s mind – Santa’s not real, Santa is a wonderful idea and tradition. We can lose our children’s trust in so many ways – this is just one example. So, how do we protect that relationship and keep the channels of communication open? Taylor and Joseph discuss a few ideas that might help.

In part 1 Joseph and Taylor have the privilege of speaking with Grayson. Grayson, a young man who has struggled with addiction for years, was willing to tell his story. Grayson shares his thoughts about addiction and the roles he and his parents played in helping him get sober. Grayson talks about his attitude and the barriers that kept him from seeking help, and the elements that made him want to get sober. In part 2 we hear a bit more from Grayson - and get to listen to his mom and dad about their perspective on the addiction to sober journey their son has taken. They share poignant insights as well as advice and ideas for parents who may be now – or in may the future – have addiction in the family.