GilandBrenda

Blended family life doesn't often start with every relationship in harmony. But it's not unusual to develop it along the way. Ron Deal speaks with Gil and Brenda Stuart about how disappointment and confusion eventually morphed into redemption and joy. Celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary with a vow renewal was an amazing experience. Another way to celebrate our family! #tipstoolstingles #gilandbrenda #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast

Brenda, and two other Stepmoms were interviewed by Mike and Kim Anderson from MikeandKimCoaching.com. This interview brings 3 perspectives of being a stepmom, but yet there is one common thread. Being a woman in a stepfamily can be a hard road. Whether you join with kids or not, having realistic expectations are part of having a successful formula to help you thrive in your stepfamily. With Tiffany, Stacy and Brenda, you will hear some raw experiences from their own lives and what worked…and what didn’t. We hope you are encouraged. Brenda is now taking new coaching clients. She specializes in working with women and helping them reach their potential. Whether it’s stepfamily challenges, family concerns or just life circumstances she can help you navigate these seasons with thought provoking questions, and compassion. She’ll make you stop and think and realize you had the answer to what you needed all along. Contact her today at hello@gilandbrenda.com. #RestoredandRemarried #gilandbrenda #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #blendedfamily #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #remarriagecoaching #remarriedcoaching #remarriedcounseling #remarriedcounseling #blendedfamilycoaching #blendedfamilycounseling #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #mikeandkimcoaching #RestoredandRemarried #Stepmomcoach #coachingwomen #remarriagecoach #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #gilandbrenda #momhelp #coachingwomen #coachingmoms #coachingwives #coachingwomanentepreuners #womenbusinessowner #womanpotential #momhelp #gilandbrenda #stepmom #happywife #happywives

Encouragement for Dads in a Stepfamily! Gil was interviewed by Ron Deal, from Family Life Blended. This was a great conversation about how important the Dad is in the stepfamily…and how it can be challenging. Gil doesn’t pull any punches and is pretty raw and honest with Ron. This 8-part video series, filmed on location brings the realities of what it means to be a Stepdad. Topics include: “You’re Not My Dad,” “Between a Rock and a Hard Place” (that would be between your wife and your kids) “Too Much too soon,” “Emotional Safety” (guns are involved), “Reverse Betrayal” (when you feel guilty that you are bonding more with your stepkids rather than your own), “allow Kids to Love,” (don’t put them the middle), and of course the intro. You can purchase this video series on the StepfamilyNetwork.com website for $48 or $5 once a month. You’ll receive free videos from Gil to encourage you along your journey too! Check out more about UnSung Hereos on our site GilandBrenda.com

There are 2 things that we share intimately with our spouse: Sex and Money. With financial intimacy, it’s not about the money. Gil and Brenda dive into the deep end on this issue. It’s about experiences, and what it means to you. It’s important that you talk about this with your spouse so you both have a realistic view of how money is “felt” in your family. Even if you’ve been married a while, it’s always good to check in with each other, especially as you enter a new season. A realistic conversation about spending habits can be hard. Have it be a heart conversation. Get on the same page so you are working together for your goals. Best question to ask as you make financial decisions: What’s best for “us?” Action Steps 1. Have a conversation about these 4 areas and what money means to you. How would you rate these? Security Leisure/enjoyment Control/Influence Status/Alignment 2. Meet with a financial advisor 3. Check out Dave Ramsey materials 4. Smart StepFamily Guide to Financial Planning 5. Email us for the Prepare Enrich Financial worksheet (6 pages)

Can you keep up with your inner voice? How often is it positive? How often is it negative? Is it toward yourself or whoever you are talking with? Gil and Brenda have a lively conversation… (maybe their inner voices are the ones that are speaking!) about this age-old challenge. How often are we so caught up in listening to our inner voice, we totally miss the person right in front of us? We are all guilty of that at some level. And that will affect our relationships. Between neuro pathways in your brain, our ability to get sucked into the inner voice, and the lack of self-regulation…well that is a recipe for disaster! Today’s conversation will bring you insight and awareness of what’s really going on, and how you can improve your self-talk. Action steps: 1. Be aware of your inner voice. Slow Down. Ask yourself out loud, is this true of myself? Is this true of the other person? The key is to PAUSE 2. Take a risk. At that moment when you are aware of your inner voice, be vulnerable and share it with whoever you’re talking with. Let them know…here’s what’s going on in my head. My emotions could run away with that. But although I am feeling this way, my judgment may be incorrect it’s not honoring to you. This is a step of being an advocate to you and our relationship, to listen and not stay in my head. But go to YOUR heart and hear your emotions, feelings, and perspective without judgment. Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

Unsung Heroes is encouragement for Dads in a Stepfamily. Although, ALL dads will benefit from this 8 episode video series. Gil shares why and how he created this resource for men

A sure-fire way to murder your marriage and bury your relationship...find out how to avoid this!

Drift and Apathy can wreak havoc in a relationship. How you watch TV may directly impact this! Gil and Brenda share 12 ways (you can come up with more) how couples can have “touchpoints” in their relationship. It’s in the things that we do every day. We miss the opportunity to connect…which launches us right toward the killers in marriage. Believe it or not, even sharing a laugh can be a touchpoint…a connection. It’s in the sinews (the little touchpoints) that muscles (your marriage) get stronger. We don’t need to make this more complicated! It’s the little things that make a marriage and it’s the little things that destroy it. ACTION STEPS: 1. Listen to this podcast together. 2. Which ideas did you resonate with? 3. What kind of touchpoints could you add? 4. Be intentional and do them! #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

Gil and Brenda share a concept they have been sharing in their presentations for years. “Rocks in the Bucket” helps give your kids a voice. When done correctly, you empower your children to tell you the truth of how they are feeling. The system is built on you honoring them as they try to honor you with something hard to say. It’s a win/win. We all carry around an invisible bucket; it represents our well being. Family members, friends, coworkers can all put rocks in our buckets….and we can put rocks in their buckets! This is an easy way to share this with someone when rocks start flying! ACTION STEPS: 1. Find a metal bucket and 3 rocks. 2. Demonstrate (as we did) how this works. 3. Ask them what they think? Talk about examples where they have felt rocks in their bucket. Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

This is part 2 of an interview with Gil Stuart. There isn’t a lot of information for stepdads out there. The content of this interview has been on Gil’s heart for over 18 years. As Brenda interviews Gil, listen in as 6 top questions are asked…3 in part 1 and the remaining 3 in part 2. 1. What is a relational safety zone? 2. It’s ok to love your mom. 3. A rock and a hard spot; You between your wife and your kids. Although this conversation is directed to stepdads, their wives will benefit from this too. Gil shares feelings and thoughts that many men wish they could tell their wives. ACTION STEPS: Guys: Have an honest conversation with your wife about these topics. Which do you resonate with more…and why? Gals: Be quiet and listen. Do not interrupt… and listen. Do not be judgmental. Be loving. You are holding your husband’s heart. Be gentle. Put on the glasses of curiosity. Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

There isn’t a lot of information for stepdads out there. The content of this interview has been on Gil’s heart for over 18 years. As Brenda interviews Gil, listen in as 6 top questions are asked…3 are in this Part 1. 1. How to contend with the infamous “you’re not my dad!” 2. What is reverse betrayal? 3. Stepdads who demand too much too soon. Although this conversation is directed to stepdads, their wives will benefit from this too. Gil shares feelings and thoughts that many men wish they could tell their wives. ACTION STEPS: Guys: Have an honest conversation with your wife about these topics. Which do you resonate with…and why? Gals: Be quiet and listen. Do not interrupt… and listen. Do not be judgmental. Be loving. You are holding your husband’s heart. Be gentle. Put on the glasses of curiosity. Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

A heart with a hard husk views the world with a negative sentiment. Gil and Brenda talk about breaking down the husk and how it affects our relationships: marriage, friends, coworkers, etc. Positive or Negative: What lens do we look at our spouse through? If it’s been negative, how do we change it? How does that soften our own heart when we do that? Be aware. Be intentional. What do you think? We’d like to hear from you! hello@gilandbrenda.com Action Steps: 1. Look for ways your spouse/friend/whoever does or says something positive 2. When having a bad day, ask them for a word of encouragement (put pride a side) 3. Reciprocate and exchange encouraging words/acts. Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com

This is the fourth podcast in a series of 4. Topics in the series: Identity, Connection, Trust and Vulnerability. Each build on each other yet they stand alone too! May your relationship be challenged, and love and growth happen as you are encouraged! “Being vulnerable in a relationship means allowing your partner to know you fully: your thoughts, feelings, challenges, weaknesses. It can be scary to show those sides to our partners out of fear of being judged." ... "This is how true intimacy is achieved. We are known, accepted, supported and loved.” This is an important topic for Gil and Brenda. Although vulnerability often is interpreted as being weak, quite the opposite is true. It takes courage to be vulnerable. Couples who are vulnerable have a deeper level of intimacy and have a feeling of peace, confidence and safety in their relationship. Learn some new ways to be vulnerable in your relationship! Action steps 1. If you got burned by being vulnerable, what would it take to try again? 2. By sharing your thoughts, feelings, challenges, and weaknesses how will that strengthen your relationship? 3. If vulnerability takes courage, what is one simple step you can take to me courageous for the sake of your relationship? Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

This is the third podcast in a series of 4. Topics in the series: Identity, Connection, Trust and Vulnerability. Each build on each other yet they stand alone too! May your relationship be challenged, and love and growth happen as you are encouraged! Because of your family of origin, past relationships, or just life, your level of trust can be deflated. Violation of trust can lead to pain and confusion. Gil and Brenda talk about the importance of trust in a relationship. If damaged, how do you repair it? What are the two outcomes of trustworthiness? Couples who have high trust in their relationship can make choices, are valued and feel loved. Action Steps 1.How can you create a high trust environment in your relationship? 2. Ask for what you want (without demanding) being assertive and humble. 3. If trust has been violated have a conversation about the roots of that violation. Is the past affecting the present? Gently ask, why they don’t feel safe. (put on the glasses of curiosity, not judgement, blame or defense…listen!) Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

This is the second podcast in a series of 4. Topics in the series: Identity, Connection, Trust and Vulnerability. Each build on each other yet they stand alone too! May your relationship be challenged, and love and growth happen as you are encouraged! Connection vs Disconnection. This happens all the time in our relationships. Sometimes we don’t even notice. We all want connection but how do we get it? Gil and Brenda share the depths of what dis-connection looks like and what a couple does when they are experiencing connection. Being approachable, available and accessible is the foundation of a good connection. Get ready to use your hands as Gil demonstrates this subject in a way you’ll never forget! Action steps: 1. Make a list: How do you feel when you are disconnected from your spouse? 2. Make a list: How do you feel when you are connected with your spouse? 3. Have this conversation with your spouse: (reminder: put on the glasses of curiosity. Do not go into judgement, blame or shame. You are honestly asking so you BOTH can improve your relationship!) How can I be more connected, what do I need to change/adjust? Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

This is the first podcast in a series of 4. Topics in the series: Identity, Connection, Trust and Vulnerability. Each build on each other yet they stand alone too! May your relationship be challenged, and love and growth happen as you are encouraged! Two questions everyone asks in a marriage/relationship: Do I belong? Am I loved? Wow, deep questions. Gil and Brenda tackle these with specific ways to find the answers for yourself! It starts with you! How can you expect your spouse to meet your needs in these areas if you’re not sure of them yourself? This will be a great conversation for you to have together to deepen your relationship. Put your glasses of curiosity on (not judgement/defensiveness or blaming) and watch what happens! Resources mentioned: www.flagpage.com www.5lovelanguages.com As always, there are action steps for you to take: 1. Do a checklist for yourself. What do you need to know that you belong and are loved? 2. Share it with your spouse 3. Affirm and acknowledge each other’s good points, especially when they make an effort to show you what you need! Gil and Brenda Stuart are a Husband/ Wife team who are Marriage Illustrators. As a Counselor and Coach they work with couples from all over the world! #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

Are you looking for support for the unique dynamics and challenges that stepfamily life brings? Have you wondered where you can go to get help? Then this episode is for you! Ron Deal talks with Gil and Brenda on how to find a church that will support you as a stepcouple, how to know if you need counseling and where to go, and what to do if not everyone is willing to go. It might be as simple as attending a small group at your church with other couples on a similar journey. But you must commit to go! Listen in as Ron talks with Gil and Brenda about the value of finding the right support for your stepfamily and your part in making it happen. · Learn more and register for the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry. https://www.summitonstepfamilies.com/ · How to Find a Competent Christian Stepfamily Therapist. https://www.smartstepfamilies.com/smart-help/learn/sharing-hope-finding-help/how-to-find-a-competent-christian-stepfamily-therapist · Trusted Counselor List https://smartstepfamilies.com/smart-help/marriage-therapy-intensives · Encouragement for the couples in a stepfamily. https://gilandbrenda.com/restored-remarried/ · Building Love Together in Blended Families by Dr. Gary Chapman and Ron Deal. https://shop.familylife.com/p-5763-building-love-together-in-blended-families.aspx Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #gilandbrenda #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

S2 Episode 7 STEPFAMILY Interview Craig & Gina Morgan, Blended Together Another powerful conversation about how to strengthen and protect your marriage and stepfamily. Gil and Brenda interview Craig & Gina Morgan with Blended Together. Married 24 years, they are out of the Dallas, TX area, and share an excerpt from their latest resource, Building Blocks for Making the Family Whole Again. Referencing the wall that Nehemiah built, brings rich nuggets of how we are rebuilding our family. Prayer, time, and having others to help is so important because the opposition will come! Part of the conversation is about how men and women have shared experiences can reveal underlying hurts in a stepfamily. It’s just always nice to hear like-minded people having a raw conversation and encouraging each other! Enjoy! Action Steps: 1. If your wall is to protect your marriage, what shape is it in? 2. How can you strengthen it? 3. Gil and Brenda have referenced the wall, representing your great marriage. You may have heard this before, but this is a great time to check in with each other again. (Season 1 Episode 1 The Wall podcast) · Identify what comes against our wall (from the attacks coming from the outside: ex’s, kids, finances, stepkids) · How are we striving for a great marriage? (not just a good marriage) · This is what I can do to invest more in our marriage ________. · What is our vision for our marriage and family? Where are we going? Craig & Gina Morgan Blended Together craig@blendedtogether.org gina@blendedtogether.org 972-589-5275 Facebook Blended Together Forever Instagram Blended Together Forever Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook YouTube

Most people think that when they get married, they won’t be lonely again. Feeling lonely and isolated in a marriage is becoming more common than you may realize. Gil and Brenda have talked with several people that are feeling this way. Do you know someone who is lonely in their marriage? Is it you? Loneliness affects not only our mental health but our physical health too. It depresses our immune system and increases inflammatory responses. We are at risk for depression and anxiety and distorted perceptions of life. The realities of being lonely in a marriage can be very heavy and sometimes dark. Gil and Brenda will define this journey and as always, offer ways to find hope again. Resource: LOVE MAPS Reference: Drift Happens Season 1 Episode 47 Action Steps: 1. Take the initiative. a. If you’re lonely, chances are your partner is too. b. Do you know their Love Languages? Sometimes just reaching out and touching their hand speaks volumes (if their Love Language is physical Touch.) c. Try to initiate conversations that are not about transactional details. Ask them for their views about something they care about and make sure to demonstrate that you are listening. Don’t expect them to reciprocate right away, as habits take time to change, but after a few gestures of goodwill, they will likely return the favor. 2. Create shared experiences. If your spouse is in the other room watching their favorite show, sit next to them (at the start of the show) and say, “You love this show so much I want to give it a try.” They may be confused, suspicious, or both, but just be sincere and try to see the show through their eyes, even if it’s not your thing. After the show, tell them what you appreciated about it – even if it was terrible, find something! That is connection. 3. Practice taking their perspective. · Don’t commit “assumicide” (don’t assume!) · Practice empathy · Perspective taking will build intimacy and increase connection. The steps of building intimacy are: Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com

What can those couples who are in Law Enforcement and First Responders do to protect their marriage and family? What can we (those of us who are not in those fields) do to support them? Gil and Brenda interview a couple, who have been living this journey for over 20 years, 10 of those years on a SWAT team. Gabe and Stacey are very candid about the hardships and realities and the toll it can take on a marriage. They share practical advice to help strengthen a marriage and family who is affected by these professions. A few takeaways: To those who are First Responders & in Law Enforcement: 1. Work to understand and educate yourself on the job. Be aware of the biological impacts that affect both physiological and social health – these will indeed impact your family as well. 2. Each person should work to define themselves individually and define their family-outside of the “first responder” identity. Your work should not be your identity. 3. Cultivate friendships outside of the workplace. 4. Faith and family must come before work and hobbies. 5. Surround yourself with pro-marriage and pro-family activities/thoughts To those who are not in this profession: 1.Make an effort to really reach out to these marriages/families 2. Be flexible with scheduling with activities 3. Include them in normal, fun activities 4. Pray for them! Book Resource: Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement by Kevin M. Gilmartin, Ph.D Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers #gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles #conflictresolution #firstresponders #firstrespondersmarriage #lawenforcement #lawenforcementmarriage #firstrespondersfamillies #lawenforcementfamilies #gilandbrenda #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast www.gilandbrenda.com hello@gilandbrenda.com