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How Gay Men Imbue Culture With Beauty and Creativity – LOP042

As a gay man, when I tune into beauty I connect with the source that creates life. From that source comes my inspiration, that quality which allows me to create and bring value into the world. Following in the steps of the exploration I began in, Is Forgiveness of Homophobia a Gay Male Gift? LOP030, today I discuss (in very sensual terms) the qualities and value that gay men bring to the betterment of society and culture. According to Raymond L. Rigolisoso in, Gay Men and The New Way...


Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer Is a Queer Hero’s Journey – LOP041

Viewing the 1964 cartoon through a queer lens. As a little boy I loved the classic Christmas cartoon, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. I must’ve watched it every Christmas as a child, then as a teenager, and almost every year since. Rudolph was my first queer role model and boy was he ever fierce! Rudolph showed a strength of character at a young age. He was unafraid to venture into the unknown and make friends with outcasts and mis-fits just like him. Recently, the classic cartoon has come...


How My Parents Influenced My Gay Male Identity – LOP040

Our earliest influences that form who we become as adults start with our parents. While I am certainly not saying that my parents made me gay; how I was raised absolutely influenced my identity as a gay male. We looked up to our parents as children. We believed everything they told us to be true. They were our first leaders. We learned how to develop and exhibit our masculine and feminine characteristics based on how they acted within their status-quo gender roles, and in relation to each...


Forgiveness and Acceptance of Internalized Homophobia – LOP039

Gay men can lead others in a new model of forgiveness through their own healing of gay shame and understanding of homophobia. We can evolve as men who understand and embrace the dichotomy of the masculine and feminine energies. As gay men we struggled with forgiveness when we first came out. We had to learn to forgive ourselves for the lies people, society, and institutions told us – that we were abnormal, not good enough, broken, or a sinner in the eyes of god. As adults we may struggle...


Th-Ink OUT-side the Box to Improve the Quality of Your Life – LOP038

How do you break out of the box you’ve built up around your life that limits your potential? You start with your thoughts. It’s not about being mind-full, it’s about improving your mind-set. If your mind is full, there’s no room for new thoughts. If you re-organize and improve your sets of thoughts, behaviours, and beliefs, you will improve your mind! But you can’t just think about these things in your head. You need to write them down. I talk about this in the episode, How Journaling Helps...


We Need Humane Rights, Not Human Rights – LOP037

Populism is on the rise in North America. For the first time it seems like we’re beginning to see it’s negative effects in Canada – specifically in Ontario where the Ontario PC Party won a majority election earlier this year. At a recent annual party convention the Ontario PC Party voted on a resolution that is a prime example of the first real "potential" step backwards for human rights in Canada – and specifically the rights of transgender people, and by affect all LGBTQ+ people, anyone...


The Crisis of Time and Distraction in Our Information Society – LOP036

“I’m stressed out!” On a Saturday morning two years ago I was sitting in the bath reading, “Getting Things Done” by David Allen. Oh, right… that's a relaxing book! I needed to relax, which is why I was taking a bath. I thought I would sink deep into the water and let go, except while reading my “relaxing book on productivity” I got an idea. I quickly grabbed my iPhone to dictate my idea and then got back to “trying to relax” in the bath. Seeing a pattern here? I was so distracted, I couldn’t...


The Purging Process Program – LOP035

What's one of the biggest problems most of us face on a daily basis? Overwhelm! If you are struggling, stressed out, and overwhelmed there are three reasons: There's too much stuff distracting your attention and ability to focus;Information overload in the form of news feeds, emails, texts, websites, and all the technology you need in an attempt to manage all that information, and;People. Yes, some people may be draining your energy and adding to your stress. I know that you want to make...


How Purging Connects with Your Core Values – LOP034

Why purge? Purging will help you to let go of what’s holding you back in life, so that you can focus on what’s most important to you, and spend more of your time and energy working on what you want to accomplish in life. What is purging? It’s a process that helps to increase your, Ability to focus, thus making better use of your time;Personal motivation, and;Physical and emotional energy. “If you know how to pay attention, boredom is not a problem."Sam Harris Purging reinforces your...


Do You Have Faith or Trust that You Will Succeed? LOP033

Faith is passive – Trust is action oriented. Faith is an expectation that what you can't prove is true, what will come to pass, or what you believe to be true without reason or logic. When you trust in the process, when you trust in yourself, you make decisions about what you're going to do to succeed. Trust is present-moment looking towards the future past. When you trust something will happen, you are anticipating it happening or having happened. I can only hope that something happens, all...


Creativity and Ego Cannot Go Together – LOP032

In the Western world we are constantly striving. We are building things. We are creating things. We are solving the problems that we have created for ourselves. We are trying to outperform others. We are trying to create more than our neighbour, or to have more income than anyone else. While some of us are working to achieve balance, others are doing everything possible to increase their net worth at the expense of humanity’s and the planet’s well-being. What can YOU do in the face of...


If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed Solve This One Problem First – LOP031

What is overwhelm? It’s a state of being in which you feel total overpowered by one or more emotions, situations, or everything all at once. In truth it’s an emotional state in which you are overly identified with too many of your problems or struggles and you are stuck in your head. It’s a vicious cycle, and the problem is that you are not your problems! So how do you take back control? The first step is to move in a different way. Yes, move, but differently.... What I described in today’s...


Is Forgiveness of Homophobia a Gay Male Gift? LOP030

In this episode I speak about the challenge for gay men to forgive homophobia in their lives – be it from individuals, family, and society at large. The topic for the episode was inspired by a discussion of models of forgiveness in Raymond L. Rigolisoso’s ground-breaking book, “Gay Men and The New Way Forward” and from his coaching group that I’m participating in, “Gay Men of Wisdom”. I discuss the meaning and origins of the word, forgiveness, and what it means to me on a personal level...


Are You Doing Goal Setting Backwards? LOP029

If you want to accomplish something that’s important to you, do you believe that setting a goal with a deadline, or making a New Year’s resolution will do the trick? Do you create lists of goals with the best intentions, but then for whatever reason, you never accomplish them? Over the years of studying personal development, goal setting systems, and personal productivity methods, I’ve discovered that there are a myriad of ways to establish, manage, and follow through on your goals – within...


Why Fear of the Future Keeps You Stuck in Your Past – LOP028

Do you think the following statement is true: People who are afraid of the future cling to the present. When I first read that sentence it hit me hard, because of my recent awareness that I have ‘apparently’ been fearful of my own future. I’ve been experiencing fears around the promise of something new and I wasn’t sure if I could make my goals – my dream – a reality. If you are fearful about the future, feeling frustrated, or at the end of your rope, it's because you’re creating negative...


Love the Journey and the Destination – LOP027

Have you hard the expression, “You need to fall in love with the process, not the goal”. That’s only partially correct. While it’s highly motivating to fall in love with the process, you never want to be attached to the goal. You don’t want to be emotionally dependant upon the goal. You want to fall in love with the doing, the taking action, accepting, trusting, and believing that your choices and actions are leading towards your desired goal. Love is an important emotion to drive your...


Why Do We Fear Future Success? LOP026

Pretend that you recently accomplished a really big goal. I’m talking the big-kahuna, significant life goal: a major promotion at work; a $30,000 sales target reached; you’ve moved into your dream home; you lost over 20 pounds of body fat; or whatever you have in mind as a meaningful, impactful goal. Now that you find yourself in a much better place than you were before achieving that goal, you feel uncomfortable. You might even be experiencing fear. That is not what you expected! It’s time...


Why You Deserve What You Are Worth – LOP025

Have you ever said (or heard others say) something like, “Is that for me? Oh, you shouldn’t have!” Or, “I don’t deserve this.” Too often I hear this from those of us who serve others in capacities like coaching, personal training, massage, teaching, blogging, and so on. For some reason we depreciate ourselves, as if we shouldn’t be proud of our accomplishments, including our gifts, skills, talents, products, and services. When you give something that is of value to others, you are entitled...


How to Finally Achieve Your Goals and Live Your Dream Life – LOP024

How to ADD to Your Life If you're excited by every new idea, jumping from one project to the next, you'll never get what you want. Instead, the outcome will be many small projects, some completed, and others abandoned; or jumping one job to another. You will be no closer to achieving your goals and creating the life of your dreams. But, once you know what you want to do – with clarity and on your own terms – you can then establish systems and structures that will keep you on the path to...


How Journaling Helps You Create What You Want in Life – LOP023

One of the core steps of my ADD Method to Live OUT the best of who you are is to keep a journal. We journal for self-awareness to work through our problems and struggles, to get clear on how to solve those problems, and to give form to our creative inspirations. When we journal regularly we stay connected with who we are. No one else has the power to assess, dream, or design our lives. You get to divine your own truth – by your own hand – and write your life’s story going forward, page by...