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How Privilege Limits the Nature of Abundance – LOP012

A contemplative tale One early morning last week on my way to the gym, I saw a homeless man wandering aimlessly. I looked away, avoiding eye contact, and kept going, pretending that it shouldn't matter. But by thinking the thought, it did matter. It mattered that he was “homeless” and I did nothing about it – other than to recognize this awareness bothered me. I had so much going for me compared to him. I realized the privilege in my abundance. I know nothing of the homeless man's story. Who...


Bullshitting Myself and Other Excuses – LOP011

Do you ever catch yourself in your own bullshit, making excuses for why you can’t do something, or why you don’t want to do something? What are the things you’re lying to yourself about that are holding you back from something that would make you happy; some action that, when completed, would improve the quality of your life? Personal growth happens when you lean out of your comfort zone long enough to cause permanent expansion. I am not an advocate of the expressions, “Feel the pain and...


Ask Better Questions To Get What You Need – LOP010

This episode was inspired by a recent post on my publication, Th-Ink Queerly about one person’s coming out process, and specifically her fears. I found it interesting because her article became a long list of fears that could keep her forever trapped in a state of low self-worth and limited growth, unless she finds a way to reframe her fears. The questions we ask ourselves determine our perspective and world view within the formation of our answers. It’s vital we ask the kind of questions...


Questions We Should Be Asking About the Fatal Shooting in Toronto Greektown – LOP009

A special episode of The Living OUT Podcast This past Sunday night on July 22 in Toronto, Faisal Hussain, a 29-year-old resident went on a shooting rampage at a number of Danforth Avenue restaurants. A 10-year-old girl and and and 18-year-old woman were killed, with many more injured in the attack. This is a terrible tragedy and my heart goes out to all those who have lost someone in this and other violent attacks. The news headlines and the media over the last few days have made it seem...


How Gay Shame Limits Self-Worth and Personal Growth – LOP008

Something I learned about myself some time ago, was how gay shame was holding me back and limiting my success. I was afraid of other people’s options of me. For many gay men it’s challenging to feel good enough, to feel like we belong, and to feel equal within society. Not feeling good enough started in my childhood, as it does for anyone who feels “different” (as I did) at a very early age. I felt isolated and rejected by my peers, which had a profound affect on my emotional,...


How Do We Effectively Respond To So Much Injustice? LOP007

Responding to the Perpetrators who cause pain and injustice On a daily basis – if you read headline news – there appears to be so much pain and anguish in the world. Often our intrinsic, immediate response to those who make us feel this way is to lash out or bash back. Is outrage and / or physical violence an appropriate response, and if not, how can we better respond to injustice? What individual and collective power do we have to make an unjust situation better? What's been happening...


Good Intentions Versus The Haters – LOP006

If you do any kind of work in the public eye, whether you write, podcast, record videos, and so on, you need to be ready for the haters. And by the way, this includes posting to your personal Twitter or Facebook pages! You never know who’s lurking and ready to attack you for your views and opinions. Haters love to hate online. It’s easy – they can often hide behind a profile without a face picture or even their real name as they barrage you with disrespectful, negative, bigoted, or bitter...


How Can We Be Exceptional Leaders? LOP005

Setting a standard of leadership starts with self-awareness One of the many test of leadership is seen when the leader must make difficult decisions that affect other people. True leadership is borne when others look to you for guidance. They might want to follow you, mimic you, or stand with you for what you believe is right and just. They will call you a leader, without you ever calling yourself one. Effective leadership is measured by the actions the leader takes after the fact....


Pride: Party, Protest, Or Both? – LOP004

If pride remains a protest, where does that leave us? Pride will always be political so long as it continues to exist. Pride, as a celebration – because it is celebrated – is a priori political because of its origins. Even to those to whom Pride only seems a big party, the nature and existence of Pride is built upon the foundations of a political movement. The politics of pride are that of visibility, acceptance, and equality. Pride says to onlookers, “Take notice, we’re here, we’re queer,...


Top Or A Bottom? – LOP003

Let's talk about sex! How does a sexual position make you feel and what does that say about you? Are you versatile, or do you only like it one way? What was the impact of your first sexual experience on how you perceive pleasure and the development of your identity? What does control mean to you with respect to sex? I realize that much of my sexual identity stems from having been in the closet until I was 18. Needing to control my mannerisms so I could fit in and not be outed, had an...


What Do You Want? – LOP002

It seems such a simple question: What do you want? But do you know? This not about wanting things like a car, furniture, or making more money. Instead this question is about something much deeper. It's about connecting with your core values and what your life would be like if you could finally have what you really want. What often happens when clients tell me what they want is that they also tell me why they can't have it. We all do this to some extent. We create conditions around why we...


The Swinging Closet Door – LOP001

As gay men we are always coming out of the closet. First we come out as gay – as an admission to ourselves about who we are.


Living OUT Podcast Intro Episode – LOP000

This is the introductory episode of the Living OUT Podcast – helping gay men live out the best of who they are. In this short episode I'll tell you what the show is about, some of the topics I'll be talking about, a brief bio about who I am, and why I'm doing this podcast.