The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Podcast favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley is back on the show! Today we’re unpacking something I know will resonate with so many of you: our trauma responses. Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn… we all have them. But what if instead of shaming ourselves for these responses, we learned to use them for our benefit? Amelia and I get into what each response actually looks like day-to-day, why they happen so quickly in the body, and how to bring more consciousness when they show up. We also explore ways to reframe them so they can become tools that work in your favor: turning fight into advocacy, flight into creativity, freeze into stillness, and fawn into compassion and service. ✨ Podcast episodes are available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctor Podcast, researcher, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. Her specialties include art therapy, internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and brainspotting. Her work focuses on women’s issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, highly sensitive persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. She is an adjunct professor in Psychology at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio’s The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR’s The Measure of Everyday Life and 411 Teen. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is also a resident trainer at PESI offering continuing trauma-focused education to professionals. She is the author of Powered by ADHD: Strategies and Exercises for Women to Harness their Untapped Gifts, Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse, coauthor of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship, as well as Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience, and a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine, as well as Highly Sensitive Refuge. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, Yahoo News, Lifehacker, Well + Good and Insider. Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Dr. Amelia Kelley’s website Dr. Amelia Kelley on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-335-making-your-trauma-responses-work-for-you-with-dr-amelia-kelley/

New episodes are back! Blair Glaser joins me to talk about how leadership roles, yes, the ones from the boardroom, can help you become a better partner, communicator, and even co-parent during and after divorce. What it comes down to, quite simply, is using leadership for love. Blair shares how her four-part leadership model applies directly to relationships in transition, including divorce and co-parenting. You’ll hear how clarifying roles reduces tension, why creating a shared vision anchors you during conflict, and how to shift dynamics when relationships change. Whether you’re navigating the emotional upheaval of divorce, stepping into a new co-parenting landscape, or preparing for healthier love in the future, this conversation offers practical tools you can start using right now. Podcast episodes are now available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Learn more about Blair Glaser: Blair Glaser is a (recovering) psychotherapist, executive leadership coach, and organizational development consultant. In an increasingly technological world, she is committed to promoting HI (Human Intelligence), offering people tips and tools to master effective communication, relationships, and making an impact. Over the course of 30 years, she has guided women, couples, veterans, urban youth, and executives and teams (in nonprofits and Fortune 500 companies alike) to lives of greater freedom and enjoyment. She’s been quoted in the New York Times, LA Times, Spirituality and Health, and other publications, and ran workshops nationwide at institutions like NYU and Omega retreat centers. She is also a writer with a memoir about living in an ashram coming out in February 2026. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and dog-ter, Vanna White. Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Learn to Lead in Love: Introductory call with Blair, Just for The Divorce Survival Guide Listeners Blair on Facebook Blair on LinkedIn Blair on Instagram Blair’s Substack Newsletter Episode 317: Burned Haystack Dating Method with Jennie Young =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

New episodes return in September! In this final encore episode for the month of August, you’ll hear part two of a special crossover series with The Divorce and Beyond Podcast. This episode picks up where my conversation with Susan Guthrie left off: how to have the most difficult conversation of your life: “I want a divorce.” To hear the first part of our conversation, be sure to visit Susan’s website to listen. Throughout this episode, we talk about what happens after “the talk,”- everything from building your divorce team to understanding your options for mediation or litigation. Susan brings decades of experience and grounded wisdom to this conversation, making it a must-listen if you're preparing for what comes next. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Why January is notoriously dubbed “divorce month” The first thing you should do after you share with your spouse that you want a divorce The biggest fallacy in the divorce process How to find the best path forward towards mediation Some approaches to divorce mediation and how to build a mediation team. A reasonable expectation of a timeline for your divorce. Learn more about Susan Guthrie: Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the country, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. As a leading dispute resolution professional, Susan is honored to serve on the Executive Council of the American Bar Association’s (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution as the Membership Officer and to be a Co-Chair of the Mediation Committee. After a year and half of co-hosting the award-winning podcast, Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, which reached over 3 million listeners, Susan recently launched her fresh and inspiring new podcast, The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. which debuted on iTunes “Top Podcasts” List for self-help podcasts. Divorce & Beyond is focused on pulling back the curtain on the mysteries of the divorce process and bringing tips and resources to help people to thrive and shine in their new future beyond divorce. Susan has been featured in and on media outlets such as CNBC, Market Watch, News Nation, Forbes, the ABA’s Just Resolutions Magazine, Thrive Global, Medium, and many more. She is licensed to practice law in the States of California and Connecticut as well as before the Supreme Court of the United States. Resources & Links: Divorce Roadmap Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach Kate on Facebook The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Susan’s website Susan on Instagram The Divorce and Beyond Podcast: WE NEED TO TALK: How to Have the Most Difficult Conversation of Your Life with Kate Anthony =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-after-the-talk-how-to-prepare-for-your-divorce-with-susan-guthrie-esq/

This week’s encore episode is a solo one, focused on The Divorce Roadmap—a framework I created after more than a decade of working with thousands of women and mapping out every stage of the divorce process. Over the years, I’ve gotten really good at helping people identify exactly where they are on that path, which makes it much easier to know what comes next. Throughout this episode, I walk you through the three stages of the Roadmap: Awareness, Action, and Moving On, and break down the different phases within each stage. Divorce is almost never a straight line. It’s messy, it loops, it pauses, and sometimes things fall into place when you least expect it. Knowing where you are on the journey can help you feel more grounded and prepared for what’s ahead. Resources & Links: Divorce Roadmap Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach Kate on Facebook The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-your-divorce-roadmap-the-stages-and-phases-of-divorce/

This encore episode features passionate human rights advocate Annette Oltmans, and we’re talking about covert emotional abuse, one of the most insidious and overlooked forms of domestic violence. If you’re in it, have been through it, or suspect something’s not right in your relationship, this is one you don’t want to miss (or re-listen to). Annette shares her personal experience of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage, along with what she’s learned through years of recovery and deep field research. Her work around Original Abuse and Double Abuse® led her to found The M3ND Project in 2016, an organization dedicated to helping survivors name what’s happening and start to heal. What you’ll hear about in this episode: What motivated Annette to found the M3ND Project Some of the definitions of covert emotional abuse like blame-shifting or minimization of the victim’s perspective Annette shares the four pillars of abuse and what drives abusive thinking Realizing you are a victim and changing the worldview of your relationship with your abuser brings on a new layer of stress Abuse recovery and insights and advice for those thinking about repairing their relationship after their partner has begun therapy Learn more about Annette Oltmans: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, “Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities”. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach Kate on Facebook The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage The M3nd Project Website Tools and Resources from The M3ND Project The M3ND Project on Facebook The M3ND Project on Instagram The M3nd Project on YouTube The M3nd Project on Twitter =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-covert-emotional-abuse-with-annette-oltmans/

This encore episode features Britt Frank, therapist and author of The Science of Stuck, and we’re unpacking what it actually means to feel stuck and how to finally move through it. Britt has a gift for cutting through the shame we carry about our behaviors. Whether it’s procrastination, burnout, people-pleasing, or codependency, she breaks down the brain-body connection behind it all and reminds us that you can’t logic your way out of an emotional process. If you’ve ever felt frozen, overwhelmed, or trapped in your own patterns, this conversation is a lifeline. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Learn more about Britt Frank: Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a clinician, educator, and trauma specialist. She speaks and writes widely about the mental health myths that keep us stuck and stressed. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct professor. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Level 3 trained in the Internal Family Systems therapeutic model. Britt was a primary therapist at a drug and alcohol treatment center, an inpatient therapist at a children’s psychiatric hospital, and now owns a private practice. You can find Britt on Instagram @brittfrank or on her website www.scienceofstuck.com. Her debut book The Science of Stuck was released 3-22-22 by Penguin Random House. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach Kate on Facebook The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Britt’s website Britt on Instagram Britt’s book Mother Hunger, Kelly McDaniel =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-the-science-of-stuck-with-britt-frank/

Over the next month, I’ll be sharing encore episodes of the podcast - conversations that remain just as relevant and impactful today. New episodes will be back in September! This week’s encore episode features fan-favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley, and we’re digging into what gaslighting really is, how it shows up in our lives, and how we start to heal from it. This conversation originally aired in 2023, but it’s just as relevant today — especially if you’re navigating the aftermath of emotional abuse or trying to reclaim your sense of self. Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, researcher, and author whose work centers on women’s issues, relationship trauma, adult ADHD, and empowering survivors of abuse. Together, we unpack how gaslighting is used as a tool for power and control, how it erodes confidence and self-trust, and why self-care isn’t optional when you’re healing, it’s essential. What you’ll hear about in this episode: The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn’t The effects of gaslighting on a victim’s mental health Dr. Kelley addresses the question, “Is lying gaslighting?” You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting What self-care looks like during the healing process Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio’s Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS’s Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach Kate on Facebook The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Dr. Kelley’s website Dr. Kelley on Instagram NYTimes Article about Women and Menopause Heart Disease in Women =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-healing-from-gaslighting-with-dr-amelia-kelley/

If you’ve been in a narcissistic, emotionally abusive, or coercively controlling relationship, you may think you’re alone in your confusion and trauma. After working with thousands of women, however, I can assure you that abusers are all operating out of the same playbook. The gaslighting, the love bombing, the silent treatment? The patterns are actually completely predictable. It’s called the Abuser’s Playbook. And if there’s a playbook for them, there’s a playbook for you, too. In this solo episode, I walk you through ten of the most common tactics abusers use and more importantly, how to counter each one. This isn’t about changing them. This is about keeping yourself safe, reclaiming your sanity, and taking your power back. The 10 common tactics narcissistic abusers use (and what you’ll hear about in this episode): Love bombing and future faking that keeps you hooked and how to track the cycle Gaslighting that erodes your sense of reality and how to ground yourself in the truth Projection that flips the blame onto you and how to recognize what’s actually theirs Triangulation that isolates you and how to stay rooted in your own perspective Hoovering that pulls you back in and how to hold your boundary when it feels impossible Smear campaigns that twist your story and how to stay steady when your reputation is under attack Threats and intimidation that instill fear and how to protect yourself and plan ahead Stonewalling and silent treatment that punish you and how to stop chasing their approval Baiting and rage that push you to the edge and how to respond without losing yourself Financial abuse that traps you and how to begin reclaiming control ➡ Download The Survivor’s Playbook at KateAnthony.com/playbook Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective How He’ll Likely React Bingo card Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach Kate on Facebook The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-333-if-theres-a-playbook-for-them-theres-a-playbook-for-you/

Why are women’s health concerns still being dismissed and what can we do about it? The healthcare system was not built for women. For many of us, especially in midlife, our health concerns are dismissed, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored. And when you’re navigating the storm of divorce at the same time as perimenopause or menopause? It can feel like you’re unraveling. I’m joined by Phoenix Rising member Kathy Gould, a holistic health coach, personal trainer, life coach, lactation consultant, and current grad student finishing her second Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy. (I’m telling you, the women in Phoenix Rising are BADASS!) This episode started as a guest expert session inside Phoenix Rising (my divorce empowerment collective for women). The conversation was so powerful, I knew I had to bring it to the podcast. Kathy and I get into why the medical system has failed women, how we’ve been gaslit about our own bodies, and what it looks like to take our power back especially during times of massive upheaval like divorce. We are not meant to go through this quietly, and we are certainly not meant to go through it alone. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Why women’s health is dismissed, especially in midlife (6:11) The deep need for more open, supportive conversations around our wellness (12:14) The long-standing misconceptions about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) (16:41) What Kathy recommends for women going through both divorce and menopause at the same time (35:15) How to advocate for yourself when doctors aren’t listening (especially if they’re covered by insurance) (41:59) Learn more about Kathy Gould: Kathy is an integrative holistic health coach, life coach and personal trainer. She is also a certified lactation consultant. She holds a Masters Degree in Health Psychology and is currently finishing a second Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Kathy is passionate about women's health and wellness and has dedicated her career to women's physical and emotional wellness. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kathy’s website Kathy on Instagram NY Times Article: Women Have Been Misled About Menopause Menopause Barbie on YouTube: Dr. Barbara Taylor =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-332-divorce-menopause-and-medical-gaslighting-with-kathy-gould/

Have you ever felt like if you don’t do it, it just won’t get done? Like the relationship, the parenting, the emotional glue that holds everything together is your job? You might be an overfunctioning woman and this episode is your loving (but no-nonsense) invitation to finally let it go. I’m joined by Dr. Ashley Southard, a licensed marriage and family therapist with over two decades of experience, who has lived the overfunctioning pattern in her own life and now helps women heal from it. We talk about what it really means to carry more than your fair share in a relationship, and how that relentless push to keep things going (when your partner won’t meet you halfway) can cost you your sanity, your health, and your sense of self. If you’re tired, burnt out, and wondering why your relationships feel like so much work, it might be time to stop proving your worth and start receiving real love. And if your partner doesn’t rise when you stop overfunctioning? That’s information. The question becomes: what are you willing to do about it? Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: What overfunctioning really is and how it’s even rooted in emotional labor and patriarchy (4:10) How underfunctioning shows up in a partner (think: not pulling their weight emotionally) (12:42) Why an overfunctioning woman needs an underfunctioning partner (17:56) How to begin healing from overfunctioning by stepping back, tolerating discomfort, and rebuilding a relationship with yourself (20:07) What it means to become a Self-Restored Woman: As Dr. Ashley says, “A woman who no longer works for breadcrumbs and knows she’s worthy of a feast.” (32:42) The Great Rest: what your nervous system does when you finally stop overfunctioning (36:52) A few small but powerful first steps if you’re starting to identify with this pattern and want to make a change (40:07) Learn more about Dr. Ashley Southard: Dr. Ashley Southard is a psychotherapist in Scottsdale, AZ, specializing in The Overfunctioning Woman in Love who is struggling with the confusing, exhausting, and lonely dynamics of a one-sided, unfulfilling love relationship. With over 20 years of clinical experience treating complex trauma, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and relationship issues, coupled with her own personal journey out of Overfunctioning, Dr. Ashley loves nothing more than creating an emotionally safe space for women to discover that they are not ‘crazy’ or ‘broken’…and that they have the power to become the Self-Restored Woman they were always meant to be! Dr. Ashley is also very active on Instagram, offering life-changing information to “make sense out of the nonsense.” She has amassed a strong following of women who are remembering their power, learning how to come back home to themselves, and healing in community with other Self-Restoring women. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Dr. Ashley’s website =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-331-the-overfunctioning-woman-with-dr-ashley-southard/

I’m joined once again by Laurie James for a conversation that bridges nervous system healing, somatic experiencing, and attachment work. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or disconnected in relationships, this episode will help you understand why and what to do about it. Laurie isn’t just a coach and author, she’s someone who’s done the deep work to regulate her nervous system after divorce and heartbreak. In this episode, she shares how her body responded completely differently to a recent breakup, not with panic, but with presence. That’s what nervous system healing looks like in real time. We also dig into attachment styles: how to identify your own, how they show up in anxious or avoidant behaviors, and how somatic work can support real change. Most importantly, we talk about how to stop trying to fix or override your system and start building safety within it. This is about meeting yourself where you are and knowing that real healing is possible. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: What somatic experiencing actually is and how it supports healing (7:31) How your autonomic nervous system operates and what shifts when you engage it intentionally (9:42) The connection between nervous system regulation, somatic work, and attachment styles (16:52) How Laurie’s recent breakup differed from her divorce (and why it matters) (40:44) Practical strategies for working with an avoidant or anxious attachment style (46:45) Learn more about Laurie James: Laurie James is a mother, divorcée, recovering caregiver turned author, somatic relationship coach, and podcaster. Laurie’s podcast, Confessions of a Freebird, was inspired by her youngest of four children leaving the nest and is the sequel to her book, Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go. Laurie’s book is about her journey from loneliness to finding belonging during a time when she was raising four teenage daughters, her mother had a heart attack and needed care, all while her marriage began to crumble. Now Laurie helps women divorce, heal, and date differently in midlife. She blends her coaching and somatic training to help her clients develop a better relationship with their bodies and nervous system. Doing so allows them to find the inner freedom to experience more happiness, joy and create the life they desire. Resources & Links: The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Laurie’s website Laurie on Instagram Laurie’s podcast =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-330-attachment-styles-amp-somatic-healing-with-laurie-james/

The brilliant Tracy Otsuka is back on the show for another rich conversation about why ADHD so often gets misdiagnosed (or completely missed) in women, how trauma can mimic or amplify ADHD symptoms, and what you can actually do to function and advocate for yourself if you’re dealing with either (or both) during divorce. We also dig into the very real challenges of trying to function while your brain is in a constant state of overwhelm: whether that’s from trauma, ADHD, or the mental chaos that comes when the lines between them blur. Tracy breaks down the importance of understanding how your brain is wired, why traditional systems so often fail neurodivergent women, and how to build supports that actually work for you. Whether you’re navigating ADHD or the aftermath of trauma, reclaiming your own narrative isn’t just important, it’s necessary, especially if someone else is trying to write it for you. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: Learn more about Tracy Otsuka: Tracy Otsuka, JD, LLM, AACC, ACC, is a certified ADHD coach and the host of the ADHD for Smart Ass Women podcast. Her book of the same name with Harper Collins - William Morrow is an Amazon Editors’ Top 20 Best Nonfiction Book of 2024 recipient. Over the past decade, she has empowered thousands of clients (from doctors and therapists to C-suite executives and entrepreneurs) to see their neurodivergence as a strength–not a weakness. Leveraging her analytical skills from her time as lead counsel at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission she helps clients boost productivity, improve finances, save relationships and live happier lives. Tracy’s expertise and experience as an adult living with ADHD are regularly sought out by top tier media including Bloomberg, CBS Mornings, ABC News Live, Forbes, Inc, Prevention, ADDitude magazine, and The Goal Digger Podcast. When she’s not sharing her thought leadership around ADHD on other platforms, she hosts her own podcast which ranks #1 in its category and has over 7 million downloads across 160 countries. She also moderates a Facebook group with over 100,000 members. A married mother of two, Tracy lives in Sonoma County outside of San Francisco. Resources & Links: The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Episode 287: ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka (Neurodivergence in Relationships) Tracy’s book, ADHD for Smart Ass Women Tracy’s podcast ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction--from Childhood through Adulthood, Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. ChatGPT Aimee Says AI =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT TO PROVIDE LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-329-divorcing-with-adhd-tracy-otsuka-on-trauma-misdiagnosis-and-mental-overload/

On today’s episode we’re talking about the complex issue of cryptocurrency and divorce, and to help unpack it, I brought in Chris Groshong. Chris made the leap from biotech to fintech when he founded CoinStructive back in 2015. Since then he’s worked for crypto financial institutions and has helped hundreds of people track down crypto lost to scams, hacks, and yes, hidden in divorce. If crypto feels confusing, secretive, or even a little bit shady to you, you’re not alone. But as Chris explains, the blockchain is actually built on transparency. So once you know what to look for, it becomes a powerful tool for uncovering hidden assets. In this conversation, we break down what crypto really is, how it shows up in divorce, and what steps you can take if you suspect it’s being used to conceal money. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: Learn more about Chris Groshong: Chris Groshong is a Certified Fraud Investigator who focuses on helping victims of cryptocurrency scams. He is also the Chief Compliance Officer for several crypto financial institutions including Bitcoin ATM operators, OTC exchanges, Wallet operators, DeFi platforms and more. He helps oversee money transmitter licensing and regulatory affairs for his clients at a fraction of the cost of attorneys. He is a member of the CFCIA (California Financial Crimes Investigators Association), Government Blockchain Association, The Chamber of Digital Commerce, ABA (American Bar Association), ACFCS, ACFE, ACAMS, and has served as an Expert Witness in a Federal fraud case involving Bitcoin and Monero as well as several Divorce cases. He maintains a public-private partnership with the FBI through Infragard. Chris is the Executive Director of the Crypto Recovery Alliance, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping victims of crypto thefts and scams by providing Blockchain Forensics to victims who can’t afford services, as well as access to low or no-cost Mental Health services and preventative education and training. Resources & Links: The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Chris's website Crypto Recovery Alliance Chris on LinkedIn =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-328-crypto-and-divorce-how-to-uncover-digital-assets-with-chris-groshong

Today we’re talking about something that doesn’t get nearly enough airtime: how older kids and adult children experience and process divorce. Whether they’re in high school, college, or fully grown, your children still need you to show up as a parent. Today, I’m joined by the one and only Christina McGhee to unpack the complexities of divorcing when your kids aren’t little anymore. In this episode we dig into why older kids are so often overlooked during divorce, what happens when they start naming the dysfunction you shielded them from, and how to support them without spiraling into guilt or defensiveness. Together, we explore how to navigate these pivotal moments with intention, compassion, and a deep respect for your child’s experience. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: Learn more about Christina McGhee: Christina McGhee, MSW, is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author of the critically acclaimed book, PARENTING APART: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids and the founder of divorceandchildren.com. Christina adamantly believes divorce doesn't have to equal devastation for families. While it is undeniably hard, with the right kind of information and support, she feels parents have the ability to be a child's absolute best resource when families change. Currently, she maintains a select coaching practice and runs a The Co-Parenting Specialist Certification Training Program that teaches divorce professionals how to keep kids in the center, not the middle, when parents part. She also continues to serves as the Education and Training Director for The SPLIT Outreach Project, a non-profit organization responsible for two unique and deeply moving documentaries, SPLIT: The EARLY Years and Split UP: the TEEN Years. These films offer a eye-opening look at how divorce impacts children's lives over time. Whether training, coaching or creating programs, Christina is passionate about disrupting the status quo, changing divorce for the better, and keeping the focus where it belongs… on kids. She has been featured on television, radio, podcasts, and in print around the US and abroad. A few places you may have seen her are TODAY Parents, NBC News, the BBC, The Times, and Parents Magazine. Christina and her husband live outside Houston, Texas, and are the proud parents of four "adultish" children (two bonus, two bio.) When she's not busy restoring order to the universe, Christina spends her time taking in sunsets, searching for the perfect cup of coffee, and ordering more books than she can read. Resources & Links: Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Christina’s website Co-parenting Specialist Training Program Christina on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Today on the podcast I’m talking with Tamara Frankfort Odinec and Shari Joseph, the brilliant creators behind My Next Chapter, a new expert-led digital platform designed to support people through every stage of divorce with guidance, community, and curated content. What started as two women trying to find clarity in their own divorces has become a full-fledged resource hub with everything they wished they had when they were in the thick of it. When I was going through my divorce, I would’ve given anything for a one-stop place to land, a space that wasn’t just filled with noise or horror stories, but real, grounded guidance from experts who knew what they were talking about. That’s exactly what Tamara and Shari have created with My Next Chapter. Tamara is post-divorce, Shari is in the messy middle, and together, they’ve built something I genuinely believe will change the divorce support landscape. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: The origins of My Next Chapter and why having expert-led support is non-negotiable when you're navigating divorce (4:32) What makes this platform different from anything else out there (11:27) How My Next Chapter is designed to meet you exactly where you are and walk with you as you evolve (24:24) How anonymity, mentorship, and community are changing the way we move through divorce (34:43) Learn more about Tamara Frankfort Odinec: Tamara Frankfort Odinec has spent the past 25 years at the forefront of technology and marketing in various leadership roles, most recently as the founder of My Next Chapter, an expert-led platform and community for people going through every stage of divorce. Tamara also founded and runs Monty Media, an app development company that creates innovative apps for adults and kids, leveraging new technologies. Prior to this, Tamara led successful entrepreneurial endeavors for brands such as Real Simple Magazine and American Express and served as Chief Marketing Officer of Flywheel Sports. Tamara lives in New York City with her three kids and is happily divorced. Learn more about Shari Joseph: Shari Joseph is a global brand marketing leader with extensive experience in digital partnerships and social media communications. She is President and co-creator of My Next Chapter, an innovative content and community platform offering resources and support for every stage of divorce. Shari is also the founder and CEO of Smart Digital, LLC, a brand marketing and communications consultancy supporting clients across PR, social media, influencer marketing, and creative campaigns that build online presences and drive engagement. Before starting her consultancy, Shari was VP, Global Digital Partnerships at American Express. She drove the company’s global digital strategies, starting with the very first tweet from @americanexpress. Shari lives in the NYC area and recently started her next chapter as a single mom of two. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective My Next Chapter For a limited time, you can sign up for a complimentary founder's lifetime membership, where you can get access to amazing resources and a community to connect with those navigating similar situations. My Next Chapter on Instagram @mynextchapterofficial =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

This episode is a fun twist. Alyssa Dineen of Style My Profile and Jennie Young of Burned Haystack Dating Method are back, but this time they’re interviewing me. I’m in the hot seat as we dive into how their work completely shifted my experience re-entering the dating world, what I did differently this time, and how I met my partner, Ethan. I was done with dating. D.O.N.E. I was perfectly content on my own, independent and fulfilled. But I’m also human. I wanted love, connection, and partnership. What I wasn’t willing to do was settle for anything less than something truly extraordinary. This conversation is a behind-the-scenes look at what changed and what becomes possible when you lead with intention, use the right tools, and hold out for the real thing. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: Learn more about Alyssa Dineen: With over 25 years of experience as a fashion editor, stylist, and art director, Alyssa established herself as a seasoned leader in the New York fashion world. In the past decade, Alyssa has also emerged as a pioneering figure in the online dating space. Her innovative approach combines her expertise in styling with her insights into dating, guiding clients on everything from personal presentation to effective communication with potential partners. As an acclaimed dating expert, Alyssa has been featured in The New York Times, Today Show, Goop, and Oprah Daily. She is also the author of The Art of Online Dating published by Harper Collins in 2021, which offers valuable strategies for success in online dating. You can find more information about Alyssa and Style My Profile’s services at stylemyprofilenyc.com. Learn more about Jennie Young: Jennie Young is the creator of Burned Haystack Dating Method, a dating method grounded in applied rhetoric and feminist praxis. It is designed to combat many of the challenges of dating in a market that is too frequently mediated by misogynistic and patriarchal structures. She holds a Ph.D. in rhetoric and discourse studies from Case Western Reserve University and a satire writing certificate from Second City Chicago. Her work has been published in McSweeney’s, Ms. Magazine, HuffPost, and others and covered by major media outlets such as The New York Times, Newsweek, RollingStone, and others. Resources & Links: Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Wild Pastures Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate’s Dating Profile (video) Blog post about deal breakers vs preferences Episode 309: Online Dating After Divorce with Alyssa Dineen Style My Profile website Alyssa on Instagram Alyssa’s Facebook Group Episode 317: Burned Haystack Dating Method with Jennie Young Jennie’s website Jennie’s Facebook Group Jennie on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-325-they-helped-me-find-love-now-theyre-interviewing-me-about-it-with-alyssa-dineen-and-jennie-young/

My friend and colleague Tony Overbay is back, and we’re unpacking one of the most transformative concepts in relational healing: differentiation. At its core, differentiation is the ability to say, “This is who I am” and to stay rooted in your identity, beliefs, and emotions, even when others might pressure you to conform. It’s about holding onto yourself while staying connected to others, without relying on external validation to feel okay. In this episode Tony and I talk about what differentiation really means, and how developing a solid sense of self—what Tony calls a “90% solid, 10% flexible” ratio—can change how you navigate conflict, boundaries, intimacy, and even sex. Differentiation isn’t something you do to fix the relationship. It’s something you do to help you hold onto or come home to yourself. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: The truth about interdependence and how it is the opposite of codependence (14:03)Tony breaks down the four points of balance in differentiation: building a solid sense of self, self-regulating emotions, managing reactivity, and sitting with discomfort for growth (17:22)The dangers of chasing external validation instead of developing self-worth from within (20:08)Why “constructing your crucible” is both hard and necessary (39:15) Learn more about Tony Overbay: Tony Overbay is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Mindful Habit Coach, and host of two award-winning mental health podcasts, The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism, with over 12 million downloads across 150+ countries. He also co-hosts Love, ADHD with author Julie Lee, The Mind, The Mirror, and Me with his daughter Mackie, and Murder on the Couch, a true-crime-meets-therapy podcast with his daughter Sydney. Together, Tony, Mackie, and Sydney offer live weekly relationship advice to over 20,000 viewers across TikTok (@virtualcouch), Instagram (@virtual.couch) and YouTube. Tony’s first book, He’s a Porn Addict, Now What?, was an Amazon best-seller in Sexual Health and Recovery and he currently has two books scheduled for a late 2025 release. One is based on his “Waking Up to Narcissism” podcast, and the other is on couples communication based on his “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation,” which he developed while working with over 1500 couples over the past 20 years. He works with individuals and couples on issues including narcissistic traits, states, and tendencies, emotional immaturity, betrayal trauma, faith transitions, and addiction. He’s the creator of The Path Back, a faith-based online pornography recovery program, and offers courses on couples communication, parenting, and navigating faith journeys at tonyoverbay.com (https://tonyoverbay.com/). Tony has four adult children, recently became a grandpa, and has been married to his high school sweetheart, Wendy, for 34 years. Before becoming a therapist, he worked as a software executive and wrote a humor column for nearly eight years. He’s an avid runner with over 100 marathons and ultramarathons under his belt, including a dozen 100-mile races. Resources & Links: Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Our Family Wizard Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Tony’s website Tony on Instagram Tony on TikTok =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-324-the-power-of-differentiation-with-tony-overbay/

When you’ve finally left a toxic marriage and your kids, especially adult kids, have spent years steeped in that same environment, the guilt can be crushing. You wonder: How do I help them heal? How do I set them up for success when I feel like I already failed them? Dr. Alexandra Solomon is back, and we’re getting into the deep stuff: parenting through regret, healing alongside our kids, and what it means to let our children hold their truth, even when it wrecks us a little. And, when you’ve walked through fire and come out whole, you get to show your kids that love can look like mutual adoration, and that being single is better than being stuck. Here are some truths you’ll hear: Your healing is the best gift you can give your child. Witnessing their pain doesn’t mean narrating their story. You’re allowed to screw up, and still be a good parent. This one’s for every mother who wonders if it’s too late to get it right. It’s not. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: Learn more about Dr. Alexandra Solomon, PhD: Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, is internationally recognized as one of today's most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her framework of Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the globe. A couples therapist, speaker, author, and professor, Dr. Solomon is passionate about translating cutting-edge research and clinical wisdom into practical tools people can use to bring awareness, curiosity, and authenticity to their relationships. She is a clinician educator and a frequent contributor to academic journals, and she translates her academic and therapeutic experience to the public through her popular Instagram page, which has garnered over 200K followers. She is on faculty in the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University and is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. Her hit podcast, Reimagining Love, reaches tens of thousands of listeners across the globe each week and features high-profile guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture. She is the award-winning author of two books: Taking Sexy Back and Loving Bravely, which was featured on the TODAY show. Resources & Links: Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Wild Pastures Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Alexandra’s website Intimate Relationships 101 Reimagining Love Podcast Alexandra on Instagram Alexandra on Facebook Masterclass Anxiety Toolkit =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-323-parenting-through-regret-and-repair-with-dr-alexandra-solomon/

Beverly Engel is back, and I’m so grateful to talk with someone who’s spent decades helping people break free from trauma-driven relationship patterns. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same story - same red flags, different partner - you’re not alone. In this episode, Beverly brings clarity to the messy, courageous work of breaking free and putting your past in your past. Beverly is a renowned psychotherapist and author of 27 self-help books, including her latest, Put Your Past In Your Past. In this conversation, we get into how hard it is to break lifelong patterns, especially when you were never taught how to feel your feelings, let alone trust them. But that’s where the work is and that’s how we begin to change everything. Healing is messy. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s also liberating as hell. Here’s what else we discuss in this episode: Learn more about Beverly Engel: Beverly is an internationally recognized psychotherapist and expert on trauma. She has written 27 books on the related subjects of abuse, shame, and empowerment, including The Emotionally Abusive Relationship and Healing Your Emotional Self. Her books have been translated into many languages, including Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Greek, Turkish, and Polish. She has a blog on Psychology Today titled The Compassion Chronicles and her writing has been featured in Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, The Chicago Tribune and The Washington Post, to name a few. Resources & Links: Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Our Family Wizard Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Beverly’s website Heal My Shame Beverly on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-322-put-your-past-in-your-past-with-beverly-engel/

Valerie Jones joins me for a powerful conversation about something so many of us need to hear: redefining what it truly means to be selfish. Valerie is a life coach, host of The Selfish Woman Podcast, and the author of the upcoming book The Selfish Year: The Power of Choosing Yourself, hitting shelves in September 2025. In our conversation, Valerie shares the transformative experience of her own "selfish year" after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship — a year that challenged her to get radically honest with herself and stop outsourcing her self-worth. We also dive into dating as a self-growth experiment (yes, really!), how emotional safety shapes our experiences of sex and intimacy, and why centering ourselves is not only radical, but absolutely necessary. Here’s what else we get into, in this episode: Why Valerie chose “selfish” as her word of the year and how it became a life-changing framework (5:38)What Valerie’s recovery from people-pleasing looked like, and how it shows up in her work and life today (15:26)Emotional safety is non-negotiable for sex and intimacy (25:39)How to start trusting yourself again after emotional abuse (32:25) Learn more about Val Jones: Valerie Jones is a Life Coach for women who are ready to create the life they truly desire. She is on a mission to redefine the word selfish, and help women learn how to prioritize themselves. Through her proven methods based in neuroscience, Valerie has helped thousands of women create better lives and relationships. Valerie is host of The Selfish Woman Podcast and author of The Selfish Year: The Power of Choosing Yourself. She is known for her direct approach and relatability combined with humor and compassion. Resources: Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Wild Pastures Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Valerie’s website The Selfish Woman Podcast Valerie on TikTok Valerie on Instagram Valerie on YouTube ====== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.