Good Grief

Cheryl Krauter and her husband, John, assumed she would die first. After all, she had lived through an aggressive breast cancer diagnosis that challenged her resilience and health. But then it was him, suddenly, with no warning at all. His heart attack killed him in under five minutes. Taken to her knees but relying on the tools she had relied on to navigate cancer and every other challenge in her life, Cheryl acknowledged her experience, noticed what seemed to help her, and looked for the power in her own experience, including magic serendipity. Months after his death, he won the fly fishing trip in the yearly raffle he had tried for years to win. Now she would take the trip to honor him while grappling with how to move forward. Cheryl Krauter, MFT an Existential Humanistic psychotherapist with over 40 years of experience in the field of depth psychology and human consciousness. With her background in theater arts, working with performing artists, visual artists and creative people has inspired her. She works with people who have been diagnosed with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses, their partners, family members, and caregivers. She has published two books on cancer: Surviving the Storm: A Workbook for Telling Your Cancer Story (Oxford University Press 2017) and Psychosocial Care of Cancer Survivors: A Clinician's Guide and Workbook for Providing Wholehearted Care (Oxford University Press 2018). Her book Odyssey of Ashes: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Letting Go (She Writes Press 2021) was released on July 20, 2021. She is a contributor to Art in the Time of Unbearable Crisis: Women Writers Respond to the Call (She Writes Press, July 2022) and a contributor to Loss and Grief: Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals (Oxford University Press, August 2022.) She was given the Distinguished Public Service Aware by the American Psychosocial Oncology Society in 2022.

Ken Ross grew up immersed in the work of his mother, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Unlike most people in the West, he was immersed in a world where death, dying and grief wer openly talked about and explored. How did he come to view his unique experience with the pioneering author of On Death and Dying? We will talk about his mother's work, his childhood and how he carries her work forward, honoring the legacy she left. We'll also explore how he thinks his own perspective on end of life has been formed by his unusual upbringing. Ken Ross, son of Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, is the founder of the EKR Foundation (2006) and President (2006-2013 & 2018-Present). He also served on the board of the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Center from 1989-2005. Ken was his mother's primary caregiver for the last nine years of her life until her passing in 2004. From childhood through adulthood, he accompanied her on extensive international travel, observing her lectures and workshops on death, dying, and the human experience—an influence that continues to inform his work today. As President of the EKR Foundation, Ken oversees relationships with more than 80 international publishing partners in 44 languages, leads global public relations, manages copyright and trademark matters, expands the foundation's international chapters, cultivates strategic partnerships, and curates Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's personal archives. To honor the 50th anniversary of On Death and Dying, Ken appeared in major media outlets—including Radiolab, BBC's Witness History, Irish National Radio, and ABC Australia—sharing reflections on his mother's enduring influence. From 2022 to 2023, he delivered foundation presentations in Ecuador, Guatemala, India, Mexico, Nepal, Singapore, and Uganda. In 2023, he was recognized as an Honorary Faculty Member at the University of Indonesia's School of Economics in Jakarta. Ken also serves on the Board of Directors of Open to Hope and sits on the Advisory Council of the Humane Prison Hospice Project.

When Gina Harris' parents died, she tried to stay connected to them through memory and music. As a jazz singer, over time she began to sing her sorrow, and her healing. The music that came out of this deep place in her led her to offer it to others, in performances and a podcast series dedicated to them and to her own grief process. Join us as we talk about what compelled her to create the series and how it helped her to move forward after loss. Gina Harris is a singer/songwriter and actor who has performed in theaters and jazz clubs in New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. A protégé of Columbia Recording artist, Lilian Loran, and a veteran of the Groundlings and Peggy Feury's Loft Studio; Gina had a leading role in Peter Ustinov's Broadway and national touring productions of Beethoven's Tenth. Her solo musical, "The Magic of Ordinary Things," played to sold-out audiences in San Francisco as part of the "Let's Reimagine" Festival in 2019 and The Marsh Rising Series in early 2020. She then turned the show into an audio drama podcast, created in the popular radio drama format. The podcast is now available on all streaming platforms as well as her website: www.ginaharris.com.

Liz Tichenor has taken her newborn son, five weeks old, to the doctor, from a cabin on the shores of Lake Tahoe. She is sent home to her husband and two-year-old daughter with the baby, who is pronounced "fine" by an urgent care physician. Six hours later, the baby dies in their bed. Less than a year and a half before, Tichenor's mother jumped from a building and killed herself after a long struggle with alcoholism. As a very young Episcopal priest, Tichenor has to "preach the Good News," to find faith where there is no hope, but she realizes these terrible parts of her own life will join her in the pulpit. The Night Lake is the story of finding a way forward through tragedies that seem like they might be beyond surviving and of carving out space for the slow labor of learning to live again, in grief. Liz Tichenor, the author of The Night Lake, has put down roots in the Bay Area but is originally from New Hampshire and the Midwest. An Episcopal priest, she serves as rector at the Episcopal Church of the Resurrection, Pleasant Hill, California. Tichenor and her husband, Jesse, are raising two young children and continuing to explore the adventure of living, parenting, and serving in their community.

Our life losses can seem overwhelming when it appears the rest of the world is celebrating. But in fact, we are in good company! Holidays are natural times to remember people we've lost and to honor them. But how do we step back from the high intensity, busy shopping and party season to make space for our grief? How can the people in our lives who have died bring deeper meaning and resonance to our holidays? Instead of feeling like we're out of step, can we allow the season to be a time for honoring, remembering and making connection with the people we've lost? Winter is a natural time of reflection and remembrance. Join us to explore how to integrate losses into the season. Tom Zuba is a life coach, author and speaker teaching people all over the world a new way to do grief. Tom offers those living with the death of someone they love dearly the tools, knowledge, and wisdom to create a full, joy-filled life. In 1990, Tom's 18-month-old daughter Erin died suddenly. His 43-year-old wife Trici died equally as suddenly on New Year's Day 1999 and his 13-year-old son Rory died from brain cancer in 2005. Tom and his son Sean are exploring life one day at a time in Rockford, Illinois. Tom's first book "Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief" was the subject of our interview together at the beginning of 2015, and he has come back to talk with me about grief and the holidays.

When dementia comes for someone we love, how do we maintain connection and relationship? For Suzanne Finnamore it takes accepting that her mother, in her final stage of dementia, lives in another country; Suzanne has needed to learn the customs and accept the differences. When she can accept, there is room for magic, including the magic of living as if there is no death; where everyone we ever loved is still alive. Suzanne is able to see the ways in which her mother is still herself and still vital. She is able to see the beauty of her mother's marriage and the life she built out of loss and challenge. They are able to love each other in the present moment whether all is remembered or nothing is. Suzanne Finnamore was born in Los Angeles and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. She graduated from UC Berkeley in 1982 with a degree in English Literature. She has published four books and has been translated into twenty languages. Her debut novel was a Barnes & Noble Discover New Author selection. Her second book was a Washington Post Book of the Year in 2002. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, New York Magazine, Mademoiselle, Glamour, Marin Magazine, PoetryNow, the San Francisco Chronicle, USA Today, and has been included on several Oprah reading lists. She lives with her very last husband, Tom, and their two little dogs. My Disappearing Mother: A Memoir of Magic and Loss in the Country of Dementia began as a column in The New York Times, "Dementia Is A Place Where My Mother Lives. It Is Not Who She Is," which ran on Mother's Day 2022.

What does it take to prepare ourselves to do the work of anti-racism? At this time when there is an outcry against racism and oppression, many white Americans are confronting the hard truth that we benefit from the system that oppresses others. How do we face that truth, which involves a loss of who we thought we were, and find unique actions we can sustain to bring about change? Kate Schatz has been searching for answers to these questions for years and, when her friend W. Kamau Bell offered her up as a white person willing to help Conan O'Brien sort it out, she became a resource for many people asking the hard questions and searching for the true answers. Kate Schatz is the New York Times-bestselling author of Rad American Women A-Z, Rad Women Worldwide, Rad Girls Can, Rad American History A-Z, the illustrated journal My Rad Life, and the book of fiction Rid of Me. She's a writer, activist, public speaker, and educator who speaks often about feminism, anti-racism, parenting, politics, American history, and more. She lives with her family on the island of Alameda.

Aimee DuFresne lost her father and young husband within a year of each other. Devastated by the loss, she had to choose how to continue living her life. Ultimately, she found the courage not just to live but to create a life beyond what she had imagined. Her choice, to live life to the fullest, led to a career that has included a radio show, several books, and a coaching practice to help other women live their best life, encouraging her clients to live the healthy life she has found for herself. As she says several years later, "My focus is not on the pain of the loss, but the joy in the living." Kicking off her thirtieth birthday with a surprise celebration in Iceland, Aimee DuFresne was oblivious to the fact that the year would soon be filled with tragedy and unimaginable heartbreak. In the next 12 months Aimee lost the two most significant men in her life: her ailing father and her young husband. In her deepest state of grief, Aimee realized she had a choice: she could simply give up or she could fight to keep going. She began letting go of fears to live her life to the fullest and realized her dream of being an author, a speaker, a radio show host and healthy living chef. After transforming her own life, she now empowers other women around the world to do the same.

Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek have literally written the book on supporting yourself through anxiety and panic attacks. And of course, they tried it ALL to deal with their own anxiety, because experience is the best teacher! Join us to talk about how they each experienced anxiety, what they did to address it, and what it is like to support others through the same struggle. So much is lost as a result of anxiety; our freedoms, our sense of well-being, relationships and time! But confronting anxiety is possible and, through the process, we can develop a kinder attitude towards all our struggles. Maggie Sarachek's expertise is counseling and teaching people to find strength through community. As a social worker in a New York City high school, she specialized in the development of youth leadership as well as counseling individuals and families. Maggie has also worked as a special-education advocate, helping families to access services for their children and teens. She became a full-fledged anxiety sister in her mid-twenties while dealing with debilitating anxiety attacks. Since becoming an anxiety sister, she has become the wife of an anxious husband and the mother of two anxious kids proving that anxiety is, indeed, contagious. Abbe Greenberg started talking at nine months old and hasn't stopped since. She has gotten two degrees in the communication field as well as a certificate in Adult Education and a Masters in Fine Arts in Creative Writing. In addition to her more than 25-year career as a professor, Abbe has served as a divorce mediator, a Myers-Briggs trainer, a motivational speaker and a communication consultant as well as a teacher development coordinator for several educational institutions. When she is not teaching, writing, researching, or panicking, she spends time with her Anxiety Sister (Maggie), her anxious husband, and her three anxious kids.

Bridey Thelen-Heidel had a chaotic and traumatic childhood with a mother who brought dangerous men into the house and failed to protect the little girl called Bright Eyes. But Bridey was determined to face her traumas and find her way to a beautiful life. In her memoir she describes the road she took to find her way out of the chaos her mother had created. In the process, we can be inspired to imagine that each of us has that potential. Join us for our conversation about what it takes to heal. A Lewis and Clark College graduate, Bridey Thelen-Heidel lives in South Lake Tahoe with her husband and daughter where she teaches English Literature. A TEDx speaker who performed in Listen to Your Mother NYC, Bridey has been voted "Best of Tahoe Teacher," and her advocacy of LGBTQ+ students has been celebrated by the California Teachers' Association. Her memoir, Bright Eyes, published by SheWrites Press and distributed by Simon and Schuster, releases September 24, 2024.

Francis Weller's new book, In the Absence of the Ordinary, gives us help to face these uncertain times. On the occasion of its publication we share an interview with Francis about his first book, The Wild Edge of Sorrow. Grief touches us at the outer reaches of our experience, challenging us to respond to new and unfamiliar terrain in our own souls. Finding rituals and pathways to carry us through the mysterious territory of loss encourages new ways to look at life and at ourselves. When we encounter a seasoned guide to walk with us through the unfamiliar terrain, grief can become a journey full of meaning. Francis Weller is such a guide, gently encouraging us towards new territory and integrating many Western and Indigenous traditions to help along the way. What supports us as grievers? What matters to us? What are the many ways to walk this road? And what is awaiting us when we have made room for this deepest of human experiences? These questions are the work of a lifetime. Join us to explore, to discover and to ask what we can do to love ourselves through loss. Francis Weller is a psychotherapist (retired), writer and soul activist. He is a master of synthesizing diverse streams of thought from psychology, anthropology, mythology, alchemy, indigenous cultures and poetic traditions. Author of the bestselling, The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief; The Threshold Between Loss and Revelation, (with Rashani Réa) and In the Absence of the Ordinary: Soul Work for Times of Uncertainty, he has introduced the healing work of ritual to thousands of people. He founded and directs WisdomBridge, an organization that offers educational programs that seek to integrate the wisdom from indigenous cultures with the insights and knowledge gathered from western poetic, psychological, and spiritual traditions. For over forty years Francis has worked as a psychotherapist and developed a style he calls soul-centered psychotherapy. As a gifted therapist and teacher, he has been described as a jazz artist, improvising and moving fluidly in and out of deep emotional territories with groups and individuals, bringing imagination and attention to places often held with judgment and shame. His offerings include a 10-session audio series on "Living a Soulful Life and Why It Matters." a 5-session series on ​"The Alchemy of Initiation: Soul Work and the Art of Ripening," and a 4-session series on "An Apprenticeship with Sorrow: Community, Ritual, and the Sacred Work of Grief." (See the Store page for more.) Francis received a B.A. from the University of Wisconsin Green Bay and two Master’s Degrees from John F. Kennedy University in Clinical Psychology and Transpersonal Psychology. His writings have appeared in anthologies and journals exploring the confluence between psyche, nature and culture. His work was featured in The Sun magazine, the Utne Reader, and the Kosmos Journal. He was recently a guest on Season Two and Three of "All There Is" with Anderson Cooper. Francis is currently on staff at Commonweal Cancer Help Program, co-leading their week-long retreats with Michael Lerner. He has taught at Sonoma State University, the Sophia Center in Oakland and has been the featured teacher at the Minnesota Men's Conference. He is currently completing his fourth book, Facing the World with Soul and Why It Matters.

How can we create an open conversation about the damages and continued disconnects which result from racism? Shakti Butler believes that “in order to manifest human rights and dignity for all, it is necessary that we seek union between the head and heart. It is the head that can recognize, analyze and strategize to overcome disparities. It is the heart that obliterates fear.” Join us while we talk about the losses we all suffer as a result of institutionalized racism and what we can each do to cultivate a deeper dialogue beyond the boundaries of misunderstanding and stereotype. Shakti Butler, PhD, visionary, filmmaker, transformative learning educator, wife, mother, grandmother and friend - is President and Founder of World Trust Educational Services, Inc., a non-profit transformative organization. Rooted in love and justice, World Trust produces films, curricula, workshops and programs to catalyze institutional, structural and cultural change.

In 2019 I interviewwed Tembi Locke after her first book, from Scratch, was published. As she launches her second, Forever Now, we revisit our hour together! When Tembi Locke spent a college semester in Italy, it changed the course of her life. Meeting Saro, the man she would love and marry, filled her with joy and also challenged them both to bridge the gap between his Sicilian farm family and her Houston Texas family of civil rights activists. Over time their persistence and courage began to connect their two families. But no struggle before it could have prepared them for Saro's ten years living with cancer, his death, and Tembi's grief. Who could have predicted that Tembi would find her way forward in grief at the table of her mother-in-law, in her small home in Siciliy. Join us to talk about the road Tembi took to find her future. Tembi Locke is an actor with more than 60 sixty film and television performances to her credit. A graduate of Wesleyan and a TEDx speaker, she is the creator of TheKitchenWidow.com, an advocacy platform that inspires the art of comfort in times of illness or grief. Originally from Houston, Texas, she lives in Los Angeles with her daughter and second husband. From Scratch is her first book. Please visit her website at www.tembilocke.com.

Melanie DeMore, an outstanding and internationally recognized vocal artist, embodies her own principle that music can be a force for social and political change. Join us as we talk about how she uses her powerful voice to heal and transform. What experiences in her own life responded to music’s healing potential? What led her to dedicate her life to sharing her gifts with adults and children throughout the world? Don’t miss this mesmerizing artist as she shares with us her gifts, songs and inspirations! As an outstanding singer and vocal activist Melanie DeMore believes in the power of voices raised together to bring social and political change. As the subject of 'Stick and Pound,’ she has helped preserve the African American folk tradition through song and Gullah stick pounding. In her 30 year career she has taught, lectured, mentored, conducted, directed and inspired both children and adults. She has presented, conducted and soloed internationally, including Festival 500 in New Foundland, Canada and Chorus America. She’s adjunct faculty at California Institute for Integral Studies, lead teaching artist for TEMPO at UC Berkeley and a featured presenter for SpeakOut! Institute for Social and Cultural Change. She has performed with Linda Tillery and the Cultural Heritage Choir, Odetta, Richie Havens, Pete Seeger, the Trinity Choir, and MUSE Cincinnati Women's Chorus, among others. She truly embodies her own principle, 'A song can hold you up when there seems to be no ground beneath you”.

Singer Amikaeyla has spent her career sharing musical healing with people facing challenges around the world. Out of her own deep experiences with music as a force for healing, her work is fueled by a belief in its magic powers. So what has this last year during a pandemic, when her work was altered and sometimes unrecognizable, been like? What has kept her optimism and personal healing going? What lessons she learned over many years have come to the fore this year? Join us as we talk together about the practices, perspectives and power that have supported us each in this most unprecedented time. Amikaeyla Gaston is a force for change. She creates environments that support people in exploring themselves and uses creativity and strategic questioning to support people in addressing their fears, developing a place where everyone has an equal voice. She has led corporations, universities, government, and nonprofit organizations through cultural competency & racial equity training. She has done extensive work in the health arena for over the past 20 years and travels the world extensively as a cultural arts ambassador for the State Department bringing together artists and healers of all forms and from all specialties to promote healing and wellness through the arts & activism. Her programming and work with refugees and at-risk children, youth, and families has been utilized and implemented by the Department of Health & Human Services, The American Psychological Association, and the US Consulate General’s Cultural Affairs office, taking her around the world to Israel, Beirut, Amman, Damascus, Palestine, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Pakistan, Nigeria & Sierra Leone just to name a few.

Throughout the world, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex people continue to experience oppression, including physical attack, psychological torture and rejection by family, friends and communities. In his travels as a journalist, Robin Hammond began to meet people whose very identities are still illegal in their own countries. He set out to interview and photograph them, telling their stories through beautiful images and quotes, in their own words. His project became a passion, and part of his work as a social activist. Personal stories of losses associated with lack of acceptance and understanding change hearts and minds. Robin will share what he has learned and the work he is doing to change the global landscape for LGBTQI people. The winner of numerous awards including a World Press Photo prize, the RF Kennedy Journalism Award, the W.Eugene Smith Award for Humanistic Photography, and four Amnesty International awards for Human Rights journalism, Robin Hammond has dedicated his career to documenting human rights and development issues around the world through long term photographic projects. His latest work on homophobia and trans-phobia, Where Love Is Illegal, has become a popular social media campaign that shares stories of discrimination and supports advocacy groups in Africa. Robin is the founder of Witness Change, a non-profit organization dedicated to advancing human rights through highly visual story telling.

The war between so-called pro-choice and pro-life forces in America seem divided beyond repair. But where does that leave women who have made the often painful and important decision to have an abortion? As Kassi Underwood says, they are left with a choice between regret and relief, with few opportunities to talk about the experience and feel supported in their personal struggles. Kassi knows from personal experience that needing to hide all the sometimes complex feelings left after an abortion has a greater chance of fracturing women than the abortion itself. For even necessary losses are still losses, deserving our ear and calling for our attention. With great humor and fierce honesty, Kassi Underwood takes us along on her own search for answers and, in the process, helps us to think more deeply about this important subject. Kassi Underwood’s work has been published in The New York Times, The Atlantic online, The Rumpus, and Refinery29. She holds an MFA in literary nonfiction from Columbia University, where she taught on the faculty of the Undergraduate Writing Program. In 2012, she won Exhale's Pro-Voice Storyteller Award in recognition of her personal essays on abortion; in 2013, she traveled across the United States, sharing her journey after abortion in an effort to bring peace to the abortion war. Described by audiences as “part-storyteller, part-public speaker, and part performance artist,” Kassi gives talks on the spirituality of abortion, addiction recovery, personal transformation, and social justice nationwide. She has addressed Christian churches and liberal arts colleges, shared a stage with standup comedians Amy Schumer and Sarah Silverman, and appeared as a guest on MSNBC and HuffPost Live. She lives with her husband in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where she is a student at Harvard Divinity School and cohost of the podcast, Spiritually Blonde.

Across the great divide in America, city dwellers and the nation's farmers often fail to understand each other. Marie Mutsuki Mockett set out to close the gap, going back to the place in Nebraska where her family owns a farm and listening with her whole heart to the many of the men and women who raise the food that keeps all of us alive; midwest rural America. She travelled to seven states to participate with them in harvest. In the process, her ideas, assumptions and beliefs were challenged, leaving an indelible mark on her heart and mind. When we are able to truly listen to each other, how does it affect our view of the world? Does it lead to greater understanding and tolerance? How can we be true to ourselves while truly respecting the other person? Marie comes back from the heartland with some answers and many questions, inviting us to share with her a profound lesson in acceptance. Launching as we are all facing the effects of COVID-19, the book is timely in that it also takes a look at front line workers who help keep our food supply open. Marie Motsuki Mockett is a novelist and memoirist. Born and raised in California to a Japanese mother and American father, she graduated from Columbia University. Her memoir, Where the Dead Pause and the Japanese Say Goodbye, explores how the Japanese cope with grief and tragedy. Her essay, Letter from a Japanese Crematorium, was anthologized in Norton’s Best Creative Nonfiction. Her first novel, Picking Bones from Ash, was was a finalist for the Paterson Prize. She’s written for many publications including The New York Times and has been a guest on The World, Talk of the Nation and All Things Considered. Her new book, “American Harvest,” is set in seven agricultural and heartland states and was a finalist for the Lukas Prize for Nonfiction. Marie received her MFA from the Bennington Writers Seminars and teaches fiction and nonfiction at the Rainier Writing Workshop, in Tacoma, Washington is a Visiting Writer in the MFA program at Saint Mary’s College.

Susan Hayden experienced three sudden losses that shaped her life; her childhood best friend, her father and her husband. How did she shape these losses into the creative voice she crafted over a lifetime? How did they change her? Going forward from loss, what do we take with us and what do we leave behind? Her first published memoir, Now You Are a Missing Person, makes poetry of loss, showing us how to integrate our love into a new creation. Susan Hayden is a poet, playwright, novelist, and essayist. Her plays have been performed live on KPFK’s Pacifica Performance Showcase and produced at the Met Theatre, Padua Playwrights, The Lost Studio and elsewhere. Her poems and stories have been published in numerous anthologies, including Beat Not Beat from Moon Tide Press, The Black Body from Seven Stories Press, and bestselling Los Angeles In the 1970s/Weird Scenes Inside the Goldmine from Rare Bird Books. She was a Finalist in the Inaugural Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award with Penguin Press for her unpublished novel, Cat Stevens Saved My Life. Hayden is the creator and producer of Library Girl, a monthly words and music series now in its 14th year at Ruskin Group Theatre. In 2015, she was presented with the Artist in the Community/Bruria Finkel Award from the Santa Monica Arts Foundation for her significant contributions to the energetic discourse within Santa Monica’s arts community. You can find her at susanhayden.com.

Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek have literally written the book on supporting yourself through anxiety and panic attacks. And of course, they tried it ALL to deal with their own anxiety, because experience is the best teacher! Join us to talk about how they each experienced anxiety, what they did to address it, and what it is like to support others through the same struggle. So much is lost as a result of anxiety; our freedoms, our sense of well-being, relationships and time! But confronting anxiety is possible and, through the process, we can develop a kinder attitude towards all our struggles.