Good Grief

When hospice is the best possible choice, families are often lost in a sea of confusion, not even sure what hospice is. At the same time, reading long descriptions of the services and goals is sometimes beyond them. After years of work in chaplaincy and hospice (and his own personal experiences of loss), Larry Patten thought he could help. What resulted was a clear, readable guide to what hospice is, and isn't, written with the uninformed in mind. Taking a light tone and sharing short chapters, A Companion for the Hospice Journey demystifies and informs while maintaining a supportive and sometimes humorous tone. Join Larry Patten on Good Grief as he shares how he came to write it and where and how it is being used.

When playwright and actor Ann Randolph faced difficulties and losses, she applied her art to them and created comedy. Being able to laugh at what we cry about is a soothing balm for our difficulties and griefs. Creating characters that touch everyone who meets them with their humanity and depth while bringing laughter is Ann's true gift. How do we take a humorous view of our life stories while taking them seriously? Ann has taught countless people across the U.S. and the world how to do just that. She inspires us to dive into our own losses because she is willing to dive into hers and come up laughing. Join us for a deep and funny hour.

Phyllis Shacter's husband made a series of radical choices about how his life would end. When he received two life limiting diagnoses within six weeks of each other, Alzheimers and cancer, he refused cancer treatment and employed natural methods instead. He planned and participated in his own funeral and followed what he believed was best for him, choosing to stop eating and drinking before he was unable to consciously decide how his life would end. Throughout all of these experiences and decisions, he had a supporter and advocate in his wife Phyllis. Understanding the choices he was making, she stood as a pillar to his right to end life in the way that was right for him. He left her with a mission; by sharing his story, she would contribute to the conversation on end of life options. Powered by her love of him and the peace and beauty he felt at the end of his life, she speaks powerfully for taking our lives in our own hands and fully exploring what is best for each of us. Phyllis Shacter has been a teacher, business consultant, life coach and public speaker. Today she uses her skills to share her personal story as a platform to educate others about expanding end of life choices. Her book, Choosing to Die, is both a memoir and a guidebook and is the first personal story ever written about VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking). Phyllis' husband decided to VSED rather than live into the late stages of Alzheimer's. Choosing to Die is their love story. It is a book about their partnership and the brave territory they traversed, including how they prepared themselves with proper medical and legal guidance. It is available on Amazon.com. She is a frequent speaker and educator about this topic. Her TEDx talk, "Not Here By Choice" is on the Home Page of her informative website, www.PhyllisShacter.com.

When our friends and loved ones face a crisis, we often don't know what to say. Do we say anything at all? What if we say the wrong thing? Nearly everyone who has faced a hard time has heard things that weren't so helpful. But worse yet is silence, saying nothing. Emily McDowell faced such a time and, as a graphic designer, she chose to respond by doing what she loved- creating cards that say what is most helpful in bad times. Her empathy cards not only helped people reach out; by sharing she also helped people in similar circumstances feel heard and seen! Her tremendous success with the cards inevitably led to a book, There Is No Good Card for This: What To Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love.

What does a poet do when she suffers the loss of her father? She writes. Exploring the depths of her relationship with her dad, Naomi Shihab Nye writes with the beauty of love, loss and continuing relationship. Her father wanted them to write a book together, and though this didn't quite happen before his death, he jumps off of every page. His particular viewpoint as an immigrant informs her outlook too and so we are offered a rare poetic view of our culture and the danger of imposing our politics on other peoples. Personal and political, Transfer is most deeply a love poem to the father who raised her, schooled her and loved her. She gives us inspiration towards our own expression of the losses in our lives, making something exquisitely beautiful out of pain and loss. In this hour, we will talk about the loss and what it was like to write about her father after his death. Naomi Shihab Nye lives in old downtown San Antonio, Texas, a block from the sleepy river. She has written or edited 30 previous books including Red Suitcase, Fuel, and You and Yours with BOA Editions, Ltd. Her collection 19 Varieties of Gazelle: Poems of the Middle East was a finalist for the National Book Award, and her collection Honeybee was awarded an Arab-American Book Award. Her poetry anthologies include Time You Let Me In, What Have You Lost?, and This Same Sky. She is also the author of the novels Habibi and Going. Her book of short-short fiction from Greenwillow books is called There is No Distance Now. She is the two-time winner of the Jane Addams Book Award for Peace & Justice, and four-time winner of the Pushcart Prize, as well as the recipient of several fellowships, including a Lannan Fellowship, a Guggenheim Fellowship, and the Witter Bynner Fellowship from the Library of Congress. She is currently serving on the Board of Chancellors for the Academy of American Poets.

How has modern life disconnected us from our wisdom? Anita Sanchez shares the prophecies of indigenous elders who see a path towards reconnection and understanding.Join us to learn how to embody these principles; the power to forgive the unforgivable, the power to heal, the power of unity and the power of hope. These four gifts applied to our problems of living can change the way we operate as a society. They can even change boardrooms and businesses, bringing human understanding back to our fundamental human experience. And perhaps most important, they can heal our broken hearts. Anita Sanchez, PhD is a transformational leadership consultant, speaker, coach and author of the international bestselling book, "The Four Sacred Gifts: Indigenous Wisdom for Modern Times," available in paperback Nov. 13, 2018 from Simon & Schuster. She bridges indigenous teachings with the latest science to inspire and equip women and men to enjoy meaningful, empowered lives and careers. With four decades of experience coaching and training executives and their teams in dozens of Fortune 500 companies, governmental groups and non-governmental agencies, Anita is an established leader in global organizational change initiatives. She is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council with luminaries such as Jack Canfield, Marianne Williamson and John Gray, as well as the Association of Transformational Leaders, the Evolutionary Business Council, and serves on the Boards of the Bioneers organization and the Pachamama Alliance. Anita resides in the mountains outside of Boulder, CO with her husband and youngest son. For more information and to download the free song that is based on the book, visit www.FourSacredGifts.com.

Myra Sack and her husband Matt were very lucky. They had fallen in love with the right person, had work they were deeply committed to and had a new baby. Into the middle of their charmed life came the worst possible news; their perfect daughter had Tay-Sachs disease. She would live a very short life. A mistake in the testing they had received for Tay-Sachs blindsighted them. Reeling from the news and immersed in the question of how they could possibly live out this time, they decided they would celebrate Havi every day of her life. And every Friday they would gather friends and family in their home for Shabbirthday. They would love her and cherish her and hold her as if each Friday was both a holy shabbat and a wonderful birthday party. They had no way to imagine how they would grieve her, but they decided to live fully with her as long as they could with whoever also wanted to grace this beautiful child with their love. And with that simple promise, they found a way to put one foot after the other. Myra Sack is a certified Compassionate Bereavement Care Provider through the MISS Foundation and founder of E-motion, Inc., a non-profit organization on a mission to ensure community is a right for grieving people. Her recently released book, 57 Fridays- Losing our daughter, finding our way, shares the story of Havi, her first child, who was diagnosed with Tay-Sachs disease at 15 months old. She died a little over a year later, after changing everyone who loved her through that deep, crushing and meaningful time. Subsequent to this interiew, Myra founded E-Motion, a non-profit dedicated to bringing grievers together to walk, run and share. Myra lives with Matthew Goldstein and their two other children in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts.

In honor of the publication of his new book, Never Can Say Goodbye, we replay this episode. Darnell Lamont Walker makes it his life's mission to seed joy everywhere he is. How do his callings intersect? He is a children's television writer, a death doula, a filmmaker. In every case he hopes to inform, encourage and uplift his audience. In the end, all he does is about supporting everyone he encounters to heal, to make room for joy and to love ourselves. Join us as we talk about how he sees his mission and all the things he does to further it! Darnell Lament Walker is an Emmy-Nominated children's television writer who understands the power of representation and joy, creating content in hopes that all children get the opportunity to not only see themselves, but see how incredible they are and can be. Darnell has written for outstanding shows, including PBS Kids' Work It Out Wombats!, Netflix's Karma's World, and Nickelodeon's Blue's Clues & You. He's a death doula, helping individuals and communities move through grief and toward healing and happiness. His new book, Never Can Say Goodbye, captures his experience as a death doula. Currently living between the Chattahoochee National Forest of Georgia and Johannesburg, South Africa, Darnell's goal with his work is to continue to support children, adults, and whole communities around the world through the building of safe and happy spaces.

Cheryl Krauter and her husband, John, assumed she would die first. After all, she had lived through an aggressive breast cancer diagnosis that challenged her resilience and health. But then it was him, suddenly, with no warning at all. His heart attack killed him in under five minutes. Taken to her knees but relying on the tools she had relied on to navigate cancer and every other challenge in her life, Cheryl acknowledged her experience, noticed what seemed to help her, and looked for the power in her own experience, including magic serendipity. Months after his death, he won the fly fishing trip in the yearly raffle he had tried for years to win. Now she would take the trip to honor him while grappling with how to move forward. Cheryl Krauter, MFT an Existential Humanistic psychotherapist with over 40 years of experience in the field of depth psychology and human consciousness. With her background in theater arts, working with performing artists, visual artists and creative people has inspired her. She works with people who have been diagnosed with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses, their partners, family members, and caregivers. She has published two books on cancer: Surviving the Storm: A Workbook for Telling Your Cancer Story (Oxford University Press 2017) and Psychosocial Care of Cancer Survivors: A Clinician's Guide and Workbook for Providing Wholehearted Care (Oxford University Press 2018). Her book Odyssey of Ashes: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Letting Go (She Writes Press 2021) was released on July 20, 2021. She is a contributor to Art in the Time of Unbearable Crisis: Women Writers Respond to the Call (She Writes Press, July 2022) and a contributor to Loss and Grief: Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals (Oxford University Press, August 2022.) She was given the Distinguished Public Service Aware by the American Psychosocial Oncology Society in 2022.

Ken Ross grew up immersed in the work of his mother, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Unlike most people in the West, he was immersed in a world where death, dying and grief wer openly talked about and explored. How did he come to view his unique experience with the pioneering author of On Death and Dying? We will talk about his mother's work, his childhood and how he carries her work forward, honoring the legacy she left. We'll also explore how he thinks his own perspective on end of life has been formed by his unusual upbringing. Ken Ross, son of Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, is the founder of the EKR Foundation (2006) and President (2006-2013 & 2018-Present). He also served on the board of the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Center from 1989-2005. Ken was his mother's primary caregiver for the last nine years of her life until her passing in 2004. From childhood through adulthood, he accompanied her on extensive international travel, observing her lectures and workshops on death, dying, and the human experience—an influence that continues to inform his work today. As President of the EKR Foundation, Ken oversees relationships with more than 80 international publishing partners in 44 languages, leads global public relations, manages copyright and trademark matters, expands the foundation's international chapters, cultivates strategic partnerships, and curates Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's personal archives. To honor the 50th anniversary of On Death and Dying, Ken appeared in major media outlets—including Radiolab, BBC's Witness History, Irish National Radio, and ABC Australia—sharing reflections on his mother's enduring influence. From 2022 to 2023, he delivered foundation presentations in Ecuador, Guatemala, India, Mexico, Nepal, Singapore, and Uganda. In 2023, he was recognized as an Honorary Faculty Member at the University of Indonesia's School of Economics in Jakarta. Ken also serves on the Board of Directors of Open to Hope and sits on the Advisory Council of the Humane Prison Hospice Project.

When Gina Harris' parents died, she tried to stay connected to them through memory and music. As a jazz singer, over time she began to sing her sorrow, and her healing. The music that came out of this deep place in her led her to offer it to others, in performances and a podcast series dedicated to them and to her own grief process. Join us as we talk about what compelled her to create the series and how it helped her to move forward after loss. Gina Harris is a singer/songwriter and actor who has performed in theaters and jazz clubs in New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. A protégé of Columbia Recording artist, Lilian Loran, and a veteran of the Groundlings and Peggy Feury's Loft Studio; Gina had a leading role in Peter Ustinov's Broadway and national touring productions of Beethoven's Tenth. Her solo musical, "The Magic of Ordinary Things," played to sold-out audiences in San Francisco as part of the "Let's Reimagine" Festival in 2019 and The Marsh Rising Series in early 2020. She then turned the show into an audio drama podcast, created in the popular radio drama format. The podcast is now available on all streaming platforms as well as her website: www.ginaharris.com.

Liz Tichenor has taken her newborn son, five weeks old, to the doctor, from a cabin on the shores of Lake Tahoe. She is sent home to her husband and two-year-old daughter with the baby, who is pronounced "fine" by an urgent care physician. Six hours later, the baby dies in their bed. Less than a year and a half before, Tichenor's mother jumped from a building and killed herself after a long struggle with alcoholism. As a very young Episcopal priest, Tichenor has to "preach the Good News," to find faith where there is no hope, but she realizes these terrible parts of her own life will join her in the pulpit. The Night Lake is the story of finding a way forward through tragedies that seem like they might be beyond surviving and of carving out space for the slow labor of learning to live again, in grief. Liz Tichenor, the author of The Night Lake, has put down roots in the Bay Area but is originally from New Hampshire and the Midwest. An Episcopal priest, she serves as rector at the Episcopal Church of the Resurrection, Pleasant Hill, California. Tichenor and her husband, Jesse, are raising two young children and continuing to explore the adventure of living, parenting, and serving in their community.

Our life losses can seem overwhelming when it appears the rest of the world is celebrating. But in fact, we are in good company! Holidays are natural times to remember people we've lost and to honor them. But how do we step back from the high intensity, busy shopping and party season to make space for our grief? How can the people in our lives who have died bring deeper meaning and resonance to our holidays? Instead of feeling like we're out of step, can we allow the season to be a time for honoring, remembering and making connection with the people we've lost? Winter is a natural time of reflection and remembrance. Join us to explore how to integrate losses into the season. Tom Zuba is a life coach, author and speaker teaching people all over the world a new way to do grief. Tom offers those living with the death of someone they love dearly the tools, knowledge, and wisdom to create a full, joy-filled life. In 1990, Tom's 18-month-old daughter Erin died suddenly. His 43-year-old wife Trici died equally as suddenly on New Year's Day 1999 and his 13-year-old son Rory died from brain cancer in 2005. Tom and his son Sean are exploring life one day at a time in Rockford, Illinois. Tom's first book "Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief" was the subject of our interview together at the beginning of 2015, and he has come back to talk with me about grief and the holidays.

When dementia comes for someone we love, how do we maintain connection and relationship? For Suzanne Finnamore it takes accepting that her mother, in her final stage of dementia, lives in another country; Suzanne has needed to learn the customs and accept the differences. When she can accept, there is room for magic, including the magic of living as if there is no death; where everyone we ever loved is still alive. Suzanne is able to see the ways in which her mother is still herself and still vital. She is able to see the beauty of her mother's marriage and the life she built out of loss and challenge. They are able to love each other in the present moment whether all is remembered or nothing is. Suzanne Finnamore was born in Los Angeles and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. She graduated from UC Berkeley in 1982 with a degree in English Literature. She has published four books and has been translated into twenty languages. Her debut novel was a Barnes & Noble Discover New Author selection. Her second book was a Washington Post Book of the Year in 2002. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, New York Magazine, Mademoiselle, Glamour, Marin Magazine, PoetryNow, the San Francisco Chronicle, USA Today, and has been included on several Oprah reading lists. She lives with her very last husband, Tom, and their two little dogs. My Disappearing Mother: A Memoir of Magic and Loss in the Country of Dementia began as a column in The New York Times, "Dementia Is A Place Where My Mother Lives. It Is Not Who She Is," which ran on Mother's Day 2022.

What does it take to prepare ourselves to do the work of anti-racism? At this time when there is an outcry against racism and oppression, many white Americans are confronting the hard truth that we benefit from the system that oppresses others. How do we face that truth, which involves a loss of who we thought we were, and find unique actions we can sustain to bring about change? Kate Schatz has been searching for answers to these questions for years and, when her friend W. Kamau Bell offered her up as a white person willing to help Conan O'Brien sort it out, she became a resource for many people asking the hard questions and searching for the true answers. Kate Schatz is the New York Times-bestselling author of Rad American Women A-Z, Rad Women Worldwide, Rad Girls Can, Rad American History A-Z, the illustrated journal My Rad Life, and the book of fiction Rid of Me. She's a writer, activist, public speaker, and educator who speaks often about feminism, anti-racism, parenting, politics, American history, and more. She lives with her family on the island of Alameda.

Aimee DuFresne lost her father and young husband within a year of each other. Devastated by the loss, she had to choose how to continue living her life. Ultimately, she found the courage not just to live but to create a life beyond what she had imagined. Her choice, to live life to the fullest, led to a career that has included a radio show, several books, and a coaching practice to help other women live their best life, encouraging her clients to live the healthy life she has found for herself. As she says several years later, "My focus is not on the pain of the loss, but the joy in the living." Kicking off her thirtieth birthday with a surprise celebration in Iceland, Aimee DuFresne was oblivious to the fact that the year would soon be filled with tragedy and unimaginable heartbreak. In the next 12 months Aimee lost the two most significant men in her life: her ailing father and her young husband. In her deepest state of grief, Aimee realized she had a choice: she could simply give up or she could fight to keep going. She began letting go of fears to live her life to the fullest and realized her dream of being an author, a speaker, a radio show host and healthy living chef. After transforming her own life, she now empowers other women around the world to do the same.

Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek have literally written the book on supporting yourself through anxiety and panic attacks. And of course, they tried it ALL to deal with their own anxiety, because experience is the best teacher! Join us to talk about how they each experienced anxiety, what they did to address it, and what it is like to support others through the same struggle. So much is lost as a result of anxiety; our freedoms, our sense of well-being, relationships and time! But confronting anxiety is possible and, through the process, we can develop a kinder attitude towards all our struggles. Maggie Sarachek's expertise is counseling and teaching people to find strength through community. As a social worker in a New York City high school, she specialized in the development of youth leadership as well as counseling individuals and families. Maggie has also worked as a special-education advocate, helping families to access services for their children and teens. She became a full-fledged anxiety sister in her mid-twenties while dealing with debilitating anxiety attacks. Since becoming an anxiety sister, she has become the wife of an anxious husband and the mother of two anxious kids proving that anxiety is, indeed, contagious. Abbe Greenberg started talking at nine months old and hasn't stopped since. She has gotten two degrees in the communication field as well as a certificate in Adult Education and a Masters in Fine Arts in Creative Writing. In addition to her more than 25-year career as a professor, Abbe has served as a divorce mediator, a Myers-Briggs trainer, a motivational speaker and a communication consultant as well as a teacher development coordinator for several educational institutions. When she is not teaching, writing, researching, or panicking, she spends time with her Anxiety Sister (Maggie), her anxious husband, and her three anxious kids.

Bridey Thelen-Heidel had a chaotic and traumatic childhood with a mother who brought dangerous men into the house and failed to protect the little girl called Bright Eyes. But Bridey was determined to face her traumas and find her way to a beautiful life. In her memoir she describes the road she took to find her way out of the chaos her mother had created. In the process, we can be inspired to imagine that each of us has that potential. Join us for our conversation about what it takes to heal. A Lewis and Clark College graduate, Bridey Thelen-Heidel lives in South Lake Tahoe with her husband and daughter where she teaches English Literature. A TEDx speaker who performed in Listen to Your Mother NYC, Bridey has been voted "Best of Tahoe Teacher," and her advocacy of LGBTQ+ students has been celebrated by the California Teachers' Association. Her memoir, Bright Eyes, published by SheWrites Press and distributed by Simon and Schuster, releases September 24, 2024.

Francis Weller's new book, In the Absence of the Ordinary, gives us help to face these uncertain times. On the occasion of its publication we share an interview with Francis about his first book, The Wild Edge of Sorrow. Grief touches us at the outer reaches of our experience, challenging us to respond to new and unfamiliar terrain in our own souls. Finding rituals and pathways to carry us through the mysterious territory of loss encourages new ways to look at life and at ourselves. When we encounter a seasoned guide to walk with us through the unfamiliar terrain, grief can become a journey full of meaning. Francis Weller is such a guide, gently encouraging us towards new territory and integrating many Western and Indigenous traditions to help along the way. What supports us as grievers? What matters to us? What are the many ways to walk this road? And what is awaiting us when we have made room for this deepest of human experiences? These questions are the work of a lifetime. Join us to explore, to discover and to ask what we can do to love ourselves through loss. Francis Weller is a psychotherapist (retired), writer and soul activist. He is a master of synthesizing diverse streams of thought from psychology, anthropology, mythology, alchemy, indigenous cultures and poetic traditions. Author of the bestselling, The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief; The Threshold Between Loss and Revelation, (with Rashani Réa) and In the Absence of the Ordinary: Soul Work for Times of Uncertainty, he has introduced the healing work of ritual to thousands of people. He founded and directs WisdomBridge, an organization that offers educational programs that seek to integrate the wisdom from indigenous cultures with the insights and knowledge gathered from western poetic, psychological, and spiritual traditions. For over forty years Francis has worked as a psychotherapist and developed a style he calls soul-centered psychotherapy. As a gifted therapist and teacher, he has been described as a jazz artist, improvising and moving fluidly in and out of deep emotional territories with groups and individuals, bringing imagination and attention to places often held with judgment and shame. His offerings include a 10-session audio series on "Living a Soulful Life and Why It Matters." a 5-session series on ​"The Alchemy of Initiation: Soul Work and the Art of Ripening," and a 4-session series on "An Apprenticeship with Sorrow: Community, Ritual, and the Sacred Work of Grief." (See the Store page for more.) Francis received a B.A. from the University of Wisconsin Green Bay and two Master’s Degrees from John F. Kennedy University in Clinical Psychology and Transpersonal Psychology. His writings have appeared in anthologies and journals exploring the confluence between psyche, nature and culture. His work was featured in The Sun magazine, the Utne Reader, and the Kosmos Journal. He was recently a guest on Season Two and Three of "All There Is" with Anderson Cooper. Francis is currently on staff at Commonweal Cancer Help Program, co-leading their week-long retreats with Michael Lerner. He has taught at Sonoma State University, the Sophia Center in Oakland and has been the featured teacher at the Minnesota Men's Conference. He is currently completing his fourth book, Facing the World with Soul and Why It Matters.

How can we create an open conversation about the damages and continued disconnects which result from racism? Shakti Butler believes that “in order to manifest human rights and dignity for all, it is necessary that we seek union between the head and heart. It is the head that can recognize, analyze and strategize to overcome disparities. It is the heart that obliterates fear.” Join us while we talk about the losses we all suffer as a result of institutionalized racism and what we can each do to cultivate a deeper dialogue beyond the boundaries of misunderstanding and stereotype. Shakti Butler, PhD, visionary, filmmaker, transformative learning educator, wife, mother, grandmother and friend - is President and Founder of World Trust Educational Services, Inc., a non-profit transformative organization. Rooted in love and justice, World Trust produces films, curricula, workshops and programs to catalyze institutional, structural and cultural change.