Your Favorite Band Sucks

From a music business standpoint, here's a textbook example of what not to do. Those of you who remember how this all went down (and, boy, did it go down), you know why this hilarious history lesson is necessary, even though The Strokes never actually did a single thing that mattered, one single thing to deliver on the hype fabricated around them. Just like they requested, The Strokes are well on their way to ultimately being forgotten. Dig out your fave vintage t-shirt that you bought on...

Phil Collins sucks so much that it almost feels mean to make fun of him. But we are mean, so who cares? We'll admit that it's honestly pretty impressive how much of a douchebag this guy is but that's not enough for us to excuse the sheer amount of terrible music he's created. If the only song he ever made was "In the Air Tonight," then he'd probably still deserve an episode because that's among the actual worst songs that has ever been made by anyone. And that's only one Phil Collins song....

This is the best Canada can do, huh? You know what? Have this one back. No, no. We’re fine. Honestly. Yes, you seem very polite but you're clearly trying to convince us that Rush is something other than a Trojan horse to brainwash Americans into acting like even bigger jerks than normal. Get someone smarter than an 8th grader to write the lyrics next time, thanks. The only thing we're still wondering is why anyone thinks any member of this band is great at their instrument.

Last episode, we went in on Madonna’s lack of originality and talent. Today, we try to understand the why of it all. To what end, all this thievery and stirring up of controversy? Maybe the answer lies somewhere deep inside “Like a Virgin.” Of course, her illustrious acting career cannot be overlooked. There's the groundbreaking Ray of Light album. And there's always, always, some recent example of Madonna doing something even dumber than ever before, such as releasing new music in the...

She can’t sing. She can’t dance. She can’t act. She has no personality of her own. There’s a 90% chance anything anyone thinks she deserves credit for is just something they don’t know was done by someone else, first and better. Can’t figure out what so many people see in Madonna? Trust us, you’re missing nothing. Here's what it takes to be a Madonna fan: you had to be there and you had to have no awareness that Madonna is the bluntest object in the cutting edge drawer. Listen and learn.

This might be an episode on Daft Punk and it might not. There's really no way to know... Okay, fine, it is an episode about how much Daft Punk (or whoever's underneath those helmets) sucks. Spoiler Alert: it comes down to way more than the helmets. People who have strong opinions about which Daft Punk album is better than other Daft Punk albums are the same people who have strong opinions about whether Shake Shack burgers are better than In-N-Out burgers. Today, Mark and Tyler are your...

Yes, this is seriously a podcast with an episode where two adult men sit down to have a discussion about the band Blink 182. If that comes as a surprise to you, it's quite possible you don't even really understand what this show is about. Mark and Tyler are on a mission. It's classified, of course, but there's more than meets the eye and all is not always as it seems. If it was as simple as saying "Blink 182 sucks" and walking away, all anyone would need to have their own hit podcast is a...

We know many YFBS listeners have never heard of Neutral Milk Hotel. Crib Notes: they made an album that is basically the Catcher in the Rye of indie music (still sells 20k copies a year), which is REALLY WEIRD cuz... Well, just listen to the episode. Everyone who's already aware of this band's existence knows this episode is a candidate for the YFBS Hall of Fame. None of this was ever okay and anyone involved in any way ought to be ashamed of themselves. You know better. Now, press play...

Did we take too much? Is Pink Floyd really allowed to put the same song on their album three times and not have fans lined up for a refund? Maybe that's just something you gotta do when your band only came up with two melodies in their whole career. (See also: ten minute sections where nothing happens. See also: an audio-only cooking show where a song should be.) But none of that explains how Pink Floyd got away with exploiting their first singer's mental breakdown as source material for...

REM is the band that invented Indie Alternative Everything and became The Best American Band Ever, right? Right? Absolutely not. You want to know what really happened here? These guys heard cool records before the other kids did. Such geniuses!One of the most hilarious things about REM is their fans think this is somehow different than Matchbox 20. But whatever you do, don't ask one of those same fans about their vintage REM tour t-shirt. Just, trust us. Don't.

Christmas music is literally the worst. If you hate it, you're probably having an awful day right now. Here's a surprise, unannounced episode about how much Christmas music sucks. It's also the longest episode we've ever made. Laugh it off. Yeah, we already made an episode about Christmas music. It was the third one. We remember. But that's how much Christmas music sucks! We can and will go back, time and again, to this endless wellspring of evil! This year, every band covered on the show...

Surprising nobody, Metallica is a band that has done entirely too many bad and stupid things to fit them all in one episode. Need more reasons why Metallica sucks? Here's our Part Two! Last week, Mark and Tyler got into how this Metallica mess was made - not a safe space for Megadeth fans - as well as Lars' war on Napster. This week, it's a deep dive into Post-Haircut Metallica. Or as deep as you can go with these mental giants...

Honestly, we don't even have to pitch this one. Metallica sucks. There's no such thing as a Metallica fan who hasn't felt screwed over and/or disappointed in this band. Hey, remember when Metallica made the Worst Album Ever? Here's the problem: there are at least 3 separate Metallica albums you could assume that last sentence was about. This band is way past its expiration date and never should've been allowed to exist in the first place. Ripping off less successful bands, treating each...

Modest Mouse is the audio equivalent of not having enough blankets in the desert at night while high on ketamine: uncomfortable, unpleasant and very confusing. Good news for people who love bad lyrics and guitars that sound like pinwheels. You just know this dude would start a cult if he ever accidentally figured out how to say something interesting. Modest Mouse is actually a pretty fitting band name. This is about as timid as neurotic gets, right? Or is it as neurotic as timid gets? Holy...

Practically no one would attempt to defend Stone Temple Pilots at their worst ("Sour Girl"). But if you're warming up an argument for Core being a total classic, then you're going to want to pump the brakes and hit play on this episode, immediately. These guitar riffs are your favorite guitar riffs if the only guitar you've ever owned is a Guitar Hero controller. All the lipstick and thrift store cashmere in the world couldn't replace Scott Weiland's lack of anything interesting (or even...

You ever wonder how bad of an idea it would be to start a band after reading exactly one pop psychology book and buying into some new crackpot therapy method? Look no further... Tears for Fears (a.k.a. literal crybabies, Curt Smith and Roland Orzabal) just want to make you shout. No, not like The Isley Brothers. Not like that at all. Basically, these dickweeds were barely in their 20s when they decided they knew how to fix the world (which is, like, we all should cry and scream more?) and...

Rage Against the Machine is an example of why A.I. is going to eliminate the human species as soon as we turn it on because we are clearly too stupid and illogical to be making decisions that impact the universe. Rage Against the Machine can't be real, right? This is like that "Berenstein" Bears thing. A shared cultural hallucination, in which, some-crazy-how, a band who chose this name was able to get away with ANY OF THIS?!?! RIGHT?!??! PLEASE?!??!

Black Sabbath's entire schtick would be ripe for savage mocking on its own, except it probably isn't even their schtick? This is easily the weirdest marketing of a Christian Rock band, ever, by the way. What the hell? These guys need a manager... What if The Flintstones took drugs and started a band? Funny you should ask, there's this band called Black Sabbath. Yeah, they're for sure rolling deep in some caveman DNA and that stuff doesn't mix well with LSD. Just listen to this trash. Black...

If Outkast was just a rap group, we'd probably leave them alone. But, nah. They decided to murder a little piece of everyone by blanketing the inhabited universe with a little ditty called "Hey Ya," for, what was it? Seven years? So we're going in... It's no secret that Big Boi & Andre 3000 seem to have a difficult time reforming as Outkast these days. You ask us? Looks like things were headed for sour all the way back when everybody thought shit was sweet. In fact, you can pretty much track...

Parents everywhere lose the “you’re not dropping out” argument to their teenagers on a regular basis because Elvis Costello inexplicably had a career in music. How do you talk someone out of chasing their dreams if this guy can make it? It's madness. Who put Elvis Costello on the sacred cow shelf? Because this dude doesn't even belong in the room. Elvis Costello sucks. Mark and Tyler are entirely at a loss for understanding, here. The only way this makes sense is if there's a conspiracy...