Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

This week we're answering a question from a listener in another Q&A episode. We're going to be diving into feeling like you're never a priority for your partner, and what to do when you're kept a secret from friends and family.If you'd like a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/questions.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Whatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and keep learning at multiamory.link/masterclass.Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators. Everything from graphic design and video editing to photography, writing, and business. Get a free month of Skilllshare at multiamory.link/skillshare.Record your own podcast or videos with the same platform as us! Check out multiamory.link/riverside to try it yourself for free.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're covering a topic that causes a lot of friction in a lot of relationships: scheduling. Sometimes, coordinating time with people we love, whether it's family, partners, or friends, feels impossible. And it turns out, it actually is impossible to do perfectly. We're going to be delving into why scheduling feels so terrible, some of the research that reveals what happens when couples share their calendars, and of course, some actionable ways to make calendaring more tolerable in the future. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Take Beducated's 2-minute quiz and get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at beduc.at/pd2615-multiamory,Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYWhatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and keep learning at multiamory.link/masterclass.Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators. Everything from graphic design and video editing to photography, writing, and business. Get a free month of Skilllshare at multiamory.link/skillshare.Record your own podcast or videos with the same platform as us! Check out multiamory.link/riverside to try it yourself for free.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're excited to be sharing an episode with Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of the Love Factually podcast! We're critiquing Vicky Cristina Barcelona's portrayal of non-monogamy and discussing the film as a whole. Eli Finkel is a professor at Northwestern University, with appointments in the psychology department and the Kellogg School of Management. He also serves as a founding co-director of the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement and as the Morton O. Schapiro Fellow at the Institute for Policy Research. His research topics range from marriage to political partisanship. He is the author of The All-or-Nothing Marriage, a co-host of the Love Factually podcast, and a guest essayist for The New York Times. The Economist declared him “one of the leading lights in the realm of relationship psychology.”Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and the author of the book "Bonded by Evolution" that offers an exciting new look at the science of attraction and compatibility. Along with Eli Finkel, he hosts the podcast Love Factually where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at https://vb.health/discount/multi?utm_source=multiamory with promo code MULTI.Whatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and keep learning at multiamory.link/masterclass.Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators. Everything from graphic design and video editing to photography, writing, and business. Get a free month of Skilllshare at multiamory.link/skillshare.Record your own podcast or videos with the same platform as us! Check out multiamory.link/riverside to try it yourself for free.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about milestones in relationships, and how to build commitment when you're actively trying not to stay on the relationship escalator. We'll be discussing traditional milestones, why they're valued, how relationship milestones with one partner can affect other partners, and some of the research around jealousy and envy in these situations. We will also dive into some non-escalator milestones that you can consider for non-monogamous, escalator-free relationships, and going into the takeaways from the discussion at the end of the episode. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY,Get 10% off sexual health supplements at https://vb.health/discount/multi?utm_source=multiamory with promo code MULTI.Whatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and keep learning at multiamory.link/masterclass.Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators. Everything from graphic design and video editing to photography, writing, and business. Get a free month of Skilllshare at multiamory.link/skillshare.Record your own podcast or videos with the same platform as us! Check out multiamory.link/riverside to try it yourself for free.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're diving into a question from one of our listeners about partners who recently left monogamy and are still adjusting to stepping off of the relationship escalator. If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Take Beducated's quiz and get your intimacy roadmap at https://beducate.me/pd2612-multiamoryWhatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and keep learning at multiamory.link/masterclass.Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators. Everything from graphic design and video editing to photography, writing, and business. Get a free month of Skilllshare at multiamory.link/skillshare.Record your own podcast or videos with the same platform as us! Check out multiamory.link/riverside to try it yourself for free.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at https://vb.health/discount/multi?utm_source=multiamory with promo code MULTI.,Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're tackling a concept that's on a lot of people's minds lately: burnout. Specifically, we'll be discussing dating burnout and fatigue, which seem to be rife on social media, dating apps, articles, what have you. We'll be diving into what the data says about the increase in dating apps, how it's creating fatigue across the dating community, and whether meeting online or organically is better. Lastly, we'll be deciding if we're doomed when it comes to dating, or are there actionable takeaways we can use to improve our dating experiences? The research used in this episode can be found here:https://medium.com/@metbynick/the-burnout-epidemic-how-dating-apps-are-adding-fuel-to-an-already-raging-fire-9f2d4a1555e8https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/31/well/mind/burnout-online-dating-apps.htmlhttps://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/https://screenshot-media.com/the-future/dating/couples-meet-online-less-happy/https://www.vogue.com/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-now Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Take Beducated's quiz and get your intimacy roadmap at https://beducate.me/pd2610-multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about time, both quality and quantity of it, and what to do if you and your partner end up clashing over it. We're going to discuss some research about shared time together as well as some of the different types of time you could be lacking in your relationship. Whether you're dating someone busy or you're the one who struggles finding time for a partner, we'll have actionable tips about what to do and not do when having conflicts about time together.Here's a handy PDF Guide for this episode: Episode 568 PDF Companion: What Type of Time Are You Craving?If you'd like the PDF guide for this episode and you're not a subscriber yet, please join our community to enjoy bonuses like these, as well as ad-free episodes and early releases. multiamory.com/joinJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at https://vb.health/discount/multi?utm_source=multiamory with promo code MULTI.,Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at https://vb.health/discount/multi?utm_source=multiamory with promo code MULTI.,Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Take Beducated's quiz and get your 2026 intimacy roadmap at https://beducate.me/pd2607-multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're excited to be joined by Brett Chamberlin and Dr. Amy Moors to discuss the recent results of the largest non-monogamy survey done to date. Brett Chamberlin (he/him) is the Founder & Executive Director of OPEN, a grassroots nonprofit advancing legal rights and cultural acceptance for non-monogamy. Under his leadership, OPEN has passed landmark non-discrimination protections in multiple cities and established itself as a leading voice in the rapidly growing movement for relationship freedom.A repeat nonprofit founder with over a decade of movement-building experience, Brett has led global grassroots campaigns reaching millions, including for the Emmy-winning documentary film "The Story of Plastic." His work has been featured in The New York Times, NPR, CNN, and NBC.Dr. Amy C. Moors is an Assistant Professor of Psychology and Faculty Affiliate in Engineering at Chapman University. She serves as a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and the founding co-chair of the American Psychological Association’s Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-Monogamy. Dr. Moors has published more than 60 journal articles and dozens of educational materials on topics related to sexuality and consensual non-monogamy. Dr. Moors has received several awards for her pioneering research on polyamorous, swinging, and other forms of consensually non-monogamous relationships, including the Kenneth R. Haslam, MD, Relationship Diversity Research Award and the Distinguished Professional Contribution Award from the American Psychological Association Division 44.Find Dr. Moors on social media @professormoors, and find more about OPEN and Brett at www.open-love.org. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at https://vb.health/discount/multi?utm_source=multiamory with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're tackling a listener question from one of our Supercast supporters. We'll be discussing in depth how to help regulate yourself when your partner goes on dates, even if you have a solid self care plan in place. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at https://vb.health/discount/multi?utm_source=multiamory with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we're sharing a remastered version of an episode that aired back in 2023. This is the episode to share with parents, family, or other loved ones when you've come out as non-monogamous to them. For those who've had a loved one come out recently as non-monogamous, polyamorous, or relationship anarchist, this episode is for you! Maybe you’re feeling confused. Maybe you’re feeling scared for their well being. Maybe you’ve never even heard the term polyamorous or non-monogamous until this very moment! Today we are going to be going back to the basics for all you out there who may be super new to the concept of polyamory, some tactics for how to react to your loved one’s revelation, and what you can expect for the future.Some resources we discuss in this episode are:When Someone You Love is Polyamorous by Dr. Elisabeth SheffInformation on Polyamory by Dr. Elisabeth SheffLibby Sinback's Podcast about Coming Out to ParentsHelpful Terms and Information about PolyamoryResources For Those Coming OutMore Information about Coming Out as Non-MonogamousJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at https://vb.health/discount/multi?utm_source=multiamory with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're excited to invite Stacey McLarty to the show as our guest today! Stacey is a Texas attorney who supports individuals and chosen families through affirming, wholistic legal services. She combines two decades of legal experience with her own lived experience in the non-monogamy, kink, and burner communities. She regularly leads workshops on legal and relationship topics and is currently writing legal guides for non-monogamous and kinky folks. Stacey serves on the board of OPEN—the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy—advocating for visibility and legal recognition. Her practice reflects her belief that all consenting adults deserve the freedom to define love, family, and commitment on their own terms. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at https://vb.health/discount/multi?utm_source=multiamory with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Take Beducated's quiz and get your 2026 intimacy roadmap at https://beducate.me/pd2602-multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're tackling two listener questions about being solo polyamorous and wanting a more entangled or anchored relationships, either with existing partners or while seeking such a relationship. We'll talk about the feasibility of escalating existing partnerships, as well as making time for deeper, more entwined relationships while still spending time with existing partners. If you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Supercast community! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.,Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.,Get 60% off Beducated's yearly pass for 150+ courses at https://beducate.me/pd2550-multiamory with code multiamoryMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're bringing back a remastered episode from way back in the day. We're going to be revisiting our first episode about jealousy, diving into the science behind it, why we feel it in certain situations, what's happening inside our bodies, and some tips on how to manage struggling with jealousy. We'll also be sharing a discussion about evolutionary psychology that previously was exclusive to our Patreon community. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.,Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're tackling a listener question about sharing information within polyamorous relationships. We'll be talking about how much information is okay to share in relationships and how to make sharing it easier so everyone involved retains their autonomy.2024 study by Dr. Sharon M. Flicker Join our amazing community of listeners at . We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by . Follow us on Instagram and visit our website . We are a proud member of the network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices