The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast

When we make our well-being dependent on someone else’s functioning we set up a conflict of wills. “Soaring” from Friedman’s Fables can help us understand why. Show Notes: Friedman’s Fables Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

This episode looks at the pseudo-self vs. the basic self, as well as the three-legged stool of self-differentiation. Show Notes: Differentiation of Self: To Be or Not to Be? A Presentation by Mindy S. Reynolds Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

This look at self-differentiation comes from the Bowen school of family systems theory. I give my take on how it can help you grow as a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Differentiation of Self: To Be or Not to Be? A Presentation by Mindy S. Reynolds Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Trust is a key factor in effective leadership. This episode shows how leadership through self-differentiation makes this possible. Show Notes: 7 common qualities of credible people by Gwen Moran The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything by Stephen M.R. Covey Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Murray Bowen and Michael Kerr wrote that when anxiety rises, relationship systems automatically find ways to "bind" the anxiety. This episode covers what that looks like and what you can do about it. Show Notes: ⁠Anxiety Bound⁠ by Kelly Matthews-Pluta Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Murray Bowen described open and closed relationship systems. This episode explains the differences and how it applies to leadership. Show Notes: An Open-and-Shut Case? by Rev. Jennifer Long Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Complaining is not helpful to you or those you lead. Here's how to stop. Show Notes: The Happy Way to Drop Your Grievances by Arthur C. Brooks Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Moral foundations theory proposes that human moral judgment is built on a small set of innate psychological intuitions that different cultures and individuals prioritize in distinct ways. This episode applies it to political polarization and shows how a non-anxious presence can make a difference. Show Notes: Moral Foundations Theory | moralfoundations.org Moral foundations theory – Wikipedia Jonathan Haidt: The moral roots of liberals and conservatives | TED Talk Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Moral foundations theory proposes that human moral judgment is built on a small set of innate psychological intuitions that different cultures and individuals prioritize in distinct ways. This explains these foundations from a family systems perspective. Show Notes: Moral Foundations Theory | moralfoundations.org Moral foundations theory - Wikipedia Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

When relationship systems are stressed they get anxious. Here's what that looks like and what you can do as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: When the Family Tightens Up - by Kathleen Smith Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Grandparents often interfere with the parenting of their own adult children. Understanding these five mistakes from a family systems perspective that can help you grow as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: 5 common mistakes grandparents make, according to a pediatrician by Perri Klass, MD Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Knowing the characteristics of a chronically anxious system, as well as the principles of leadership through self-differentiation makes all the difference. Show Notes: ⁠A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix⁠ by Edwin Friedman Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Edwin Friedman's last book, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, challenges us to lead differently. Here's how. Show Notes: A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

Whether you're a parent, pastor or president, favoritism is unhealthy. Here's the research behind it and four things you can do to interrupt the pattern. Show Notes: Do Parents Have Favorite Children? Of Course They Do. - The New York Times Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Self-differentiated leaders take responsibility for themselves (and no one else). This will increase self-discipline in a way that helps you in all aspects of life. Here are three strategies to help you do this. Show Notes: Why this type of self-discipline will make you a better leader by Jody Michael Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Edge cases don't happen often, but they are predictable. This episode unpacks what that looks like and offers five steps to help you grow as a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Why the Best Communicators Prepare for the Edge Cases - Matt Norman Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

This episode covers a systematic way to improve your life on a regular basis. Show Notes: Get a free copy of One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks (no email required) Episode 311: The Year End Review (with a Family Systems Take - Rebroadcast) Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Self-differentiation is acting in accordance with your goals and values, especially in anxious moments. This episode shows you how, as well as what to do when you don’t. Show Notes: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

The emotional intensity that comes from being super-serious can turn a challenge into a problem. Likewise, when we react automatically to the anxiety of others, it can make a bad situation worse. This episode digs into why this is the case and what you can do about it. Show Notes: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be by Marshall Goldsmith Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Recognizing emotional process will not only help you avoid getting stuck, it will enable you to persist through the inevitable sabotage that comes when you are leading change. Show Notes: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.