Mess Is More

We've often said that marriage is a business, but according to the book, Spousonomics, by Paula Szuchman & Jenny Anderson, it's really a lot more like the economy...complicated. Get the book here. This amazing book is so chock full of great marriage advice we read it twice and had to split it into 2 parts! If you grew up believing you should never go to bed angry, that's just "Loss Aversion". Found yourself talking about how you should have more sex, but can't seem to get around to it? That's just a good old fashioned case of "Supply and Demand". Turns out that a laissez faire attitude is great for capitalism, but not so much for a relationship. In Part2, we dive into the last 4 economic principles that can make your marriage bubble burst: Trade-Offs Asymmetric Information Intertemporal Choice Bubbles Then we reveal some of the strategies that can help bring you back from full on market meltdown. At the end of the day, when 1/2 of marriages fail, having a little insurance on one of life's biggest investment is smart move! Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast) Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

We've often said that marriage is a business, but according to the book, Spousonomics, by Paula Szuchman & Jenny Anderson, it's really a lot more like the economy...complicated. Get the book here. This amazing book is so chock full of great marriage advice we read it twice and had to split it into 2 parts! If you grew up believing you should never go to bed angry, that's just "Loss Aversion". Found yourself talking about how you should have more sex, but can't seem to get around to it? That's just a good old fashioned case of "Supply and Demand". Turns out that a laissez faire attitude is great for capitalism, but not so much for a relationship. We dive into the first 5 economic principles that can make your marriage bubble burst: Division of Labor Loss Aversion Supply and Demand Moral Hazard Incentives Then we reveal some of the strategies that can help bring you back from full on market meltdown. At the end of the day, when 1/2 of marriages fail, having a little insurance on one of life's biggest investment is smart move! Great News! Our benefit concert, Mess Is More: The Musical has been rescheduled! All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs! All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home. Get your tickets for August 12, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/ If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/ We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical. You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess! Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast) Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Can we be done with COVID yet? After a week, where our concert was cancelled just as family arrived in town to see it, all of our friends got sick, Nola turned 1 year old, and Emily's work closed for 10 days, we admittedly felt a little 2020 PTSD. We decided to check in with each other, and dig into how we're feeling...hint...it's not great. We discuss dealing with past trauma, grieving the loss of our former selves in a way that we're still trying to wrap our head around after a pandemic/baby one two punch. Nate discusses how feeling defeated, led him to defy airport employees because life has been so out of control lately. At the end of the day, we are two tired people, who were feeling particularly downtrodden, and just hit record to show up as authentically messy as we could for 80 minutes. So while BA.5 tears across the country, and you find yourself having Deja Vu of March 2020 all over again, join us in solidarity. Great News! Our benefit concert, Mess Is More: The Musical has been rescheduled! All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs! All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home. Get your tickets for August 12, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/ If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/ We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical. You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess! Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast) Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

In our 11 years of marriage we have learned a lot about what make a marriage tick, but in so many unforeseen ways we are mere novices. With that in mind, we are thrilled to have our first guests on Mess Is More. This week, we sit down with our dear friends, Christy Brandt and John Gary Brown. They have been married for over 40 years, and together for 50. They share some wonderful stories about what it takes to get messy over the long haul. We could have talked with them for hours, because their insight is poignant, touching, and a goddamn delight. As longtime company members at Creede Repertory Theatre, they have some amazing insight into what it take to not only stick it out for the long haul, but how to make a fulfilling life in the arts, where both are able to find their joy in their artistic endeavors. Listen now, to learn about marrying your best friend, and what it means to break the script about what a traditional marriage should look like. This episode is not to be missed. Great News! We're performing a benefit concert for one night only called Mess Is More: The Musical. All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs. All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home. Get your tickets for July 19, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/ If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/ We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical. You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess! Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast) Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Happy 4th of July??? After the overturning or Roe vs. Wade a couple weeks ago, it's even more critical that family care is addressed by our country. Being a new parent is a huge endeavor, and the USA is one of the only wealthy nations that doesn't have national paid leave. We have been fortunate to have 3 great companies step up to provide family support in amazing ways. We want to shout out and hear about the organizations that are helping fill the void, that so far our country has refused to fill. Check out these 3 Great companies on instagram Creede Repertory Theatre - @creederep Curriculum Associates - @curriculum_associates Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra - @indy_symphony Check out the articles from the episode here: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/06/us-paid-parental-leave-child-welfare-tax-credit/661276/ https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/25/upshot/paid-leave-democrats.html Great News! We're performing a benefit concert for one night only called Mess Is More: The Musical. All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs. All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home. Get your tickets for July 19, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/ If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/ We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical. You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess! Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast) Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

This week, we dive into The D Word; one of the scariest words you can utter in a marriage. We break down 8 common signs of divorce and reflect on how we recognized these red flags later than we would have liked. But after standing on the edge of marital oblivion, we found that living in fear of divorce was not nearly as helpful as having a healthy respect for it. That healthy respect is part of what keeps a marriage in the moment, looking out for trouble on the horizon, and a relationship built on open communication. Read the article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/202108/8-signs-partner-may-want-divorce Great News! We're performing a benefit concert for one night only called Mess Is More: The Musical. All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs. All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home. Get your tickets for July 19, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/ If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/ We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical. You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess! Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast) Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Great News! We're performing a benefit concert for one night only called Mess Is More: The Musical. All your favorite hot marriage content...but with songs. All the proceeds will benefit the amazing Creede Repertory Theatre, our creative home away from home. Get your tickets for July 19, 2022 @ 7 PM at https://creederep.org/show/special-events-2022/ If you can't come, please consider a donation to Creede Rep, to support live theatre and their incredible education programs at https://creederep.org/giving/ways-to-give/ As we prepare the concert, we've been collaborating and cooperating in ways that sometimes feel a little different than married life. Reflecting on our past creative endeavors, we are reminded of some of the lessons we learned in the process and how it has strengthened our marriage overall. Listen to "Conjugal Collaboration" to learn how a creative venture can help your marriage/partnership as it relates to: We hope to see you in Creede, CO for Mess Is More: The Musical. You definitely don't want to Miss This Mess. Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast) Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

We did it! We made it through 40 plus weeks of pregnancy, the trials of labor, and the indescribable feeling of seeing the little person we made together. Then the fun starts. We always heard "everything would change", that "life will never be the same", but we didn't really know what it would all mean. In this weeks episode we break it down: Join us in the conversation as we explore how joy is different now. Find us on Facebook (@MessyMarriagePodcast), Instagram (@AMessyMarriagePodcast), and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

We're back y'all! And we have a new name: Mess Is More! We left last season with a real cliffhanger ...did we or did we not have that baby??? Spoiler: We did. Today's episode is dedicated to the birth story of the amazing tiny human we made! And it's a good one, folks. If you've ever had a baby or your partner has ever had one you will relate to a lot of this story. If you haven't been privy to this sort of thing, you'll get a glimpse into what it takes to birth a human and the incredible bonding opportunity an experience like this is for a couple. We have so much to catch you up on, and this is JUST the beginning. Please join us for Season Two of the new and improved Mess is More podcast. All the messy marriage fun, with a shorter title so you have an easier time telling your friends about us!

If you're like us, you love taking silly Facebook quizzes that tell you which Hogwarts House you belong to. (We're proof that a Gryffindor and Slytherin can make it work!) But this week we take it to a whole other level with the Myers Briggs test from 16Personalities.com We dive into what makes us tic, how annoying it is to have a computer call you out for your worst traits, and how it affects our relationship. Does the test have our number or is it way off, and even more importantly, what can we do when we're not happy with our results? How much can you change your personality, when parts of it can be detrimental to your personal growth, your relationship, and your parenting style? Take the test and let us know what you learn about your personality. If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

In this week's episode, Emily asks Nate all about what it's like to be the other guy. Ya know, the anchor, the support person, the often overlooked partner in the pregnancy duo. What's it like finding out you're going to be a parent? Is sympathy pregnancy a real thing? And how does it feel knowing your partner is going through a total body transformation and and a potentially dangerous and (at it's easiest) a pretty traumatic and inevitable labor experience and there's not a damn thing you can do about it? We know all the attention is typically on Mom, so this week Nate is here to give us the down and dirty on what it feels like to become a Dad! Check out this awesome article, The Science of How Fatherhood Transforms You from todaysparent.com If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Well we did it y'all. 10 trips around the sun with each other. 5,256,000 Minutes (That's Ten Rent's of marriage! Nate & Emily sit down on their anniversary and revisit what the last 10 years has taught them, how is has surprised and challenged them. They open up about how it was nothing like they anticipated, yet richer than they could have ever anticipated. As they close out this chapter of their marriage and prepare to enter the next as parents, they reflect on what the last year has taught them. They also celebrate a year of "Twice as Less Not Perfect". As a tribute to that first episode, where they read their vows and thought about what had changed, they up the ante and rewrite their vows for the next ten years. A big thanks to all the listeners who joined us for the journey. If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

This week Emily & Nate recount the adventure of their BabyMoon. What is a BabyMoon? How does one do it? Well we’ve got answers apparently, because a registered OB in Key West chased us down the street to ask us all about it. The final trip as a duo is a great chance to reflect on where you’ve been as a couple and look forward to how the new addition to your family is going to change everything. All of that was great, but like most things in marriage, it wasn’t without its messes. From coming out of quarantine, 3rd trimester symptoms, and finding themselves in the open waters of the Atlantic, their trip to the Florida Keys was something they’ll never forget. Also, hear an update on our most recent ultrasound and find out how to drive your parents crazy by telling everyone in another state the gender of your baby, but not them. 70 Days to go! If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

The world is opening again and if you’re like us you’re feeling equal parts excitement and “did I really like being around people that much before?” Emily and Nate found themselves thrown back into old patterns when Nate had to start flying for work again. From little things like forgetting how to pack, to larger issues like checking in promptly when your pregnant wife texts you, it was a week filled with nervousness, excitement, relief, angst and at least one of us crying while on a plane to Omaha. This week we talk about Going the Distance...the Long Distance in a relationship, that is. If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

We all vow that we'll never become our parents, but if there's one thing that will bring it out of you, it's becoming parents yourself. This week, Emily & Nate dive into how their own upbringing has given them insight into how they would like to parent. Prompted by a great discussion of other parent's to be they talk about the wonderful things they want to pass on to their child from their families. On the flip side, they discuss the parental patterns they want to break. They also turn the lens on themselves and ask "What do I want to continue to do, and what do I want to take the opportunity to stop before an impressionable little one joins our clan?" If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

You've heard of the bump and grind, but this week Emily and Nate are here to talk ALL about the bump....and the GRUMP. Who is the grump? Is it one of them? Possibly. Likely even. What they can tell you is that they are experiencing (in real time) how pregnancy changes the very nature of a relationship. Turns out the cliche we always hear about mom's hormone changes are just one part of the story. Did you know Dad's hormones change too? When Dad had a meltdown about installing a light in the closet, Emily and Nate made that fun discovery. Here all about it and more in this Baby Update! Check out this article from Parents.com, Love and Pregnancy: 5 Ways Pregnancy Will Change Your Relationship If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

Many of us say it right in the vows, and hardly take a moment to think about what it really means. Whether it’s facing your own mortality or the mortality of your partner, kicking the bucket is an uncomfortable topic. Nate & Emily talk about how they have prepared for end of life decisions...and by that they mean they haven’t prepared at all. From the little things like what songs you want played at your funeral to the big complicated stuff like wills and life insurance it’s definitely a good thing to talk about long before you shuffle off that mortal coil. Don’t fear the reaper! Stare into his empty eye sockets and you may find it brings you even closer together. If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

It’s not easy being green with envy. It’s even harder when the person inviting the wrath of your green-eyed monster is your partner. Turns out it’s a slippery slope from admiration, emulation, and pride to malicious behavior. Most people don’t like to admit it, but it’s easy to harbor resentment with your spouse over careers, popularity, attractiveness, wealth, prestige and a host of other things that should make us nothing but proud...except they make us feel so damn worthless. If comparison is the thief of joy, then envy is the little green goblin of grudgingness. Check out this article, To Love and To Envy by Dana Shavin in Psychology Today! Also, here are 4 Ways to Deal With Significant Other Envy If you like us, do us a favor and share us with your friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

If you’re looking for advice, we have none. This week we provide an update on all of our baby craziness and how it’s impacting our marriage in surprising ways. From ultrasounds to genetic testing; registries and gender reveals, we’re capturing some of what’s happening in real time. Listen in to find out how fluctuating birth plans, last name debates, and nesting make things all the messier. If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com

No, it'a not an episode about broadband. These 3 G's are all about sex. As in Gettin it on, Gettin busy, Giggity giggity...you get the idea. (giggity) This week, Emily and Nate discuss why it's so dang hard to keep the fire stoked after over a decade of shagging. Have they always succeeded? Of course not! Do they keep trying new things? Most definitely! Learn about (some of) those things and learn some ideas about how you can spark the flames and rekindle your fire. Emily and Nate got a little help from their favorite resource The All or Nothing Marriage, and love guru Esther Perel. If you like us, do us a favor and share us with you're friends and family! Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Have a question or an idea for an episode? Email us at lessnotperfect@gmail.com