livingfullywithdrkathymccoy's podcast

Are you unlucky in love? Stuck in disappointing, chaotic or just plain bad relationships over and over again? Why does this happen? The answers may lie in your distant past. In this episode,Dr. McCoy discusses this link to your past and ways to break the pattern of bad romantic relationships in your life.

How do you know if your love is lopsided? What can you live with? What can you let go? What has become intolerable? And what are you going to do about all of this? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to know you're in an unequal relationship and what to do -- when to hope and when to let go.

Making the decision to stay or go can be one of the hardest you face -- even with a deeply unhappy, dysfunctional relationship. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses some reasons that people choose to stay in unhappy relationships and the reasons some leave -- and how to make a decision that feels right for you.

What do you do when the worst happens? What can you do when there's nothing to be done? How can you survive a tragic loss? In this episode, Dr. McCoy shares a moment in her own life when everything changed -- and yet life went on. She offers comfort and words of hope for those grieving major, terrible losses in their lives.

Do you need an electronic reminder to prompt you to be kind and thoughtful to loved ones? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses our increased dependance on electronics to see if we're sleeping well, moving enough or to find our favorite music. Why not an app for kindness? She suggests that, in addition to relying on our devices, we can tap into our own emotional resources to find ways to please, surprise and enhance our relationships with those we love.

Why would anyone get therapy? This is still a frequent question many ask even though attitudes towards psychotherapy have evolved over the years from disapproval to more acceptance of professional help. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses instances where someone might benefit from therapy, how to find a therapist and how to make sure a particular therapist might be the right one for you.

Feeling alone in a relationship can be uniquely painful. Sometimes it happens when our fantasies of constant, intense love and happiness clash with reality. Sometimes it happens as the result of life transitions and busy schedules. And sometimes it signals serious problems. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses relationship loneliness, why it happens and what to do to reconnect and reclaim your love and intimacy.

It's not easy, especially for women, to say "No" when they want or need to. Social expectations are that a woman will always say "Yes" to a request. Refusing to go along with another's agenda and living authentically can be a challenge. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the power and importance of saying "No" and how to express your feelings in ways that others can hear and accept while avoiding negativity.

You may be blindsided or it may not be a surprise at all when your child comes out to you as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or non-binary. You may feel a confusing array of emotions -- from fear of their being hurt or marginalized to grief that his, her or their life may be quite different from the one you dreamed or you may feel mostly love and wonder how to best communicate that in this vulnerable moment. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of your love and support at this time and how to deal with your feelings even as you embrace your child.

Coming to terms with the invisibility of aging can be a challenge, especially if you've been noted in your youth for your physical beauty. But there are advantages to evolving into another phase of your life -- and being noticed for other things -- such as kindness, wisdom or strength of character. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the challenges and rewards of discovering the special beauty to be found with quiet acceptance of the passage of time.

Mismatched sexual desire is not uncommon and can cause a lot of pain between partners. In this episode, Dr. McCoy suggests questions to ask yourself about possible causes and conditions behind your dueling libidos and offers a number of suggestions for communication, compromise and true intimacy.

We have very special bonds with our pets, often considering them important members of the family. But many people who don't have the experience of loving a companion animal may show little understanding or empathy when we're dealing with the loss of a beloved pet and that can complicate our grief. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the psychology behind the bonds we share with our animals and how to handle the grief process, finding the support and the comfort we need during a very painful time.

There may come a time in our lives when our possessions cease to be a comfort and start to become an obstacle to growth, to relationships, to happiness and even to health. Compulsive hoarding is not uncommon and, of course, it occurs on a continuum -- from a bit of unsightly clutter to an uninhabitable home. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses hoarding behavior, what it is and why it happens and how to begin to help a loved one who is a hoarder. She illustrates the challenges with a story about a dear friend whose possessions are limiting his options as his health deteriorates. She also talks about how all of us, hoarders or not, need to reorder our priorities as well as our possessions as we age.

What lessons in love can we learn from the college admissions scandal that has been grabbing headlines in recent months? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of allowing our children to experience the consequences of their choices and actions, to get experience in facing disappointment and going on. Helicopter and steamroller parents who seek to protect their children from disappointment and smooth their way in life may be doing their children no favors. Parental counsel and support for their children's dreams are certainly important. But most important of all are the lessons parents can teach their children by example -- to become good, kind and caring people.

What do we do when dreams don't come true? When we do the best we can and still it isn't enough to achieve a treasured goal? In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about the importance of embracing failure as part of the fabric of our lives. Fear of failure can immobile us and make success impossible. Learning to live with failures and imperfections can help us to learn, to grow and to discover new possibilities in our lives.

Women's lives are busier than ever today. In these frantic and divisive times, kindness, caring and building a healthy lifestyle are especially important for our well-being. In this episode, Dr. McCoy interviews Susan Spencer, the editor in chief of Woman's Day Magazine, about how women can bring more kindness, better self care and heart healthy habits into their daily lives.

What is it like to be childless -- whether by choice or circumstance? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the assumptions we make about childless people -- about their reasons, their motives, their character and their lives -- and why these assumptions often may not to be true. She looks at the reasons some of us are childless and how, nevertheless, those without children can make warm and loving connections with the next generation.

What's the one worst thing you can do while in conflict with your spouse? Silent withdrawal. It can be an aggressive, angry silence or a conflict adverse retreat from discussion. Either way, it can preclude a resolution and drive you apart. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to overcome your disinclination to engage in difficult discussions in ways that can resolve issues and bring you closer.

There comes a time in life when mortality ceases to become an abstraction and is a daily reality -- as friends pass away, as we reach ages our parents never lived to see. Our health in later life is often a matter of genetic luck and, increasingly of personal responsibility as we seek healthy lifestyles to prolong the healthy years of our lives. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of taking responsibility for our health, of saying and doing what we most want with those we love and of savoring each day of good health.

Losing the delicious feeling of being in love is a common hazard in long relationships. How can you rediscover each other and the love that seems to have faded in the routines of daily living? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses specific things you can do to warm your connection and bring new life to a relationship grown tired.