This Is Not What I Ordered-logo

This Is Not What I Ordered

Self Development >

More Information


24: Street Art Superhero [Part 2] with Blur

Blur is a street artist and poet based in Philadelphia. Her numerous experiences with chronic pain and Lyme disease, including a major setback in 2015, pushed her to take full advantage of the artistic tendencies she previously only explored in private. She wants her artwork to bring out the vulnerability and empathy in everyone who views it and forge a connection with her audience through that sense of catharsis. In the second half of this two-part interview, Blur shares some of her very...


23: Street Art Superhero [Part One] with Blur

Blur is a street artist and poet based in Philadelphia. Her experiences with multiple chronic illnesses--including Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Chronic Lyme Disease, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, and Cervical Dystonia--pushed her to take full advantage of the artistic tendencies she previously only explored in private. She wants her artwork to bring out the vulnerability and empathy in everyone who views it and forge a connection with her audience through that sense of...


22: Living with Joyful Urgency with Kirk Nurmi

Kirk Nurmi is an attorney-turned-life-coach who overcame not only the infamy associated with defending convicted murderer Jodi Arias, but stage 3 non-Hodgkin's lymphoma as well. After leaving the practice of law, Kirk has drawn on his experiences to fuel a new direction for a more fulfilling life and is now a transformational speaker, coaching lawyers to help unhook themselves from stressful thought patterns and live happier lives. In this episode, Kirk discusses which kinds of control...


Beyond the Pink Ribbon with Emily Garnett

Emily Garnett is a former college swimmer and elder law attorney turned stay-at-home mom to her two-year-old son. She was also diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in November of 2017. Believing in the power of one’s own voice, she began blogging about her cancer and treatment as a way to foster community and educate others. In this episode, Emily discusses reevaluating the healthy/sick and happy/sad binaries, what she hopes to achieve through social media advocacy, and her own breast...


20: Endometriosis + High-Risk Pregnancy with Parijat Deshpande

Parijat Deshpande is a leading high-risk pregnancy expert who guides women to have healthy pregnancies even in the face of complications. She is the host and creator of the pregnancy-focused podcast, "Delivering Miracles." Parijat has also lived with endometriosis for many years, and over the years has managed chronic pain, a miscarriage, and a very complicated pregnancy. She now has a son she treasures immeasurably. In this episode, Parijat discusses how a delayed diagnosis complicated...


Fierceness + Surrender with Maria Vogel

Maria Vogel is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist based in Los Angeles who works with families and children, as well as those struggling with chronic illness and pain management. She has been working with families for a decade and doing clinical work for the last two and a half years. Maria has also been managing a chronic illness of her own and was recently diagnosed with Lyme disease. In our conversation, Maria dives into the political and bureaucratic difficulty of actually...


18: Fibromyalgia + Genger Identitiy with Freeman Willerton

Freeman Willerton is a business consultant and sits on a government advisory board in Alberta, Canada. He's been on a multifaceted health journey that has changed his relationship with his body and his identity. Freeman has been living with fibromyalgia since the early 1990s, impacting how his body responds to stress. He also began transitioning his gender in 2011 and lived as a woman for the following four years, though he has recently re-transitioned and currently identifies as a...


17: Embracing a New Normal with Rhonie McBerry

Rhonie McBerry is a licensed radiation therapist providing care to those living with cancer, and she's the author of Embracing a New Normal: Words That Surround Your Soul devotionals. Rhonie learned to embrace a new normal after being diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in June of 2014 and now uses the power of words to encourage others to see past their darkest days and toward a brighter horizon. In this episode, Rhonie talks about the concept of devotional writing, using modern dance as a...


16: Reconnecting with Nature with Lanie Smith

Lanie Smith is the owner and founder of Integrative Art Therapy in Phoenix, Arizona, working with driven helping professionals whose success has come at the cost of their own health and well-being. After developing ulcerative colitis a few years ago, she has turned her attention toward supporting clients with a spiritual approach she calls “EcoArt Wellness,” which combines nature and the creative process to help people tune in as an antidote to burnout and chronic stress. In this episode,...


15: Loneliness + True Connection with Monica Ramil

San Francisco native Monica Ramil is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist. She began her path as a psychotherapist shortly after being hospitalized for acute disseminated encephalomyelitis (ADEM). She underwent aggressive treatments in the ICU and a complication left her temporarily blind. Monica says her illness had a profound impact on her life and relationships while shifting the way she sees illness and disability. In this conversation, Monica discusses some of the more...


14: An Olympian's Insights on Chronic Pain with Joanna Zeiger

Joanna Zeiger raced as a professional triathlete from 1998 to 2010, placing 4th in the 2000 Sydney Olympics triathlon and winning the 2008 Iron Man 70.3 world championship. She's a seven-time Olympic trials qualifier in three sports: marathon, triathlon and swimming. Joanna still pursues her passion for sports as a top masters runner. In 2009, Joanna was involved in a terrible bike accident that left her with multiple rib cage injuries, resulting in ten surgeries to correct structural and...


13: Everything About You is Worthy of Love

Today I'd like to chat with you about why everything about you is worthy of love. I'll share some of the recent difficult and beautiful moments in my health journey, and the steps I took to transform a challenging experience by practicing acceptance and kindness towards myself. This episode was recorded live from a Facebook broadcast in The Podcast Cafe: an online community where "This Is Not What I Ordered" listeners gather and connect. I spend time thinking with listeners who submitted...


12: We Can Be Lighthouses with Courtney Brame

Courtney Brame is a personal trainer living in St. Louis, Missouri. After being diagnosed with herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) six years ago, he experienced a personal and spiritual growth journey that led him to create and host his own monthly podcast called "Something Positive for Positive People." In each episode, he interviews STD-positive people from around the world who share their experiences living with these conditions. His goal is to reduce the stigma living with an STD so that...


11: Being Yourself in Community with Leo Newman

Leo Newman is a licensed professional health counselor living in Travelers Rest, South Carolina with his wife and son. He's worked in the mental health field for a decade and currently splits his time between private practice and the local community health center. His primary focus is helping individuals and their loved ones learn to live beyond the challenges of their chronic health concerns. Leo began his own journey with chronic health issues in 2005 after being diagnosed with...


10: Body-Positive Chronic Love with Krista Niles

Krista Niles is a therapist and body positive coach. She specializes in helping plus-size women live full, happy lives and navigate the complicated world of health at every size. She also created the Curvy Cupid Course, an e-course on dating at any size, and a new project called the Body Positive Therapist, which is a hub for body-positive mental health resources that launches later this year. She asks us to reconsider our attitudes toward fat and beauty standards and interrogate the...


09: Diabetes + Poetry with Nichole Acosta

Nichole Acosta is a vegan Type-1 diabetic, spoken-word poet and digital assets manager at Jumo Health, which offers authentic, relatable health education for children and families. She has been performing poetry since she was 11 years old and was diagnosed with diabetes during her freshman year of college. Since then, she has come to recognize that highs and lows are part of a diabetic's life. In all of her work, she lives to inspire and inspires people to live, recognizing that her poetry...


Mindfulness and Life's Mystery with Bob Stahl

Bob Stahl has founded 8 Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programs in medical centers throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. He is a long time practitioner of mindfulness meditation, having lived and practiced for over eight years in a Buddhist monastery, and is the guiding teacher at Insight Santa Cruz and a visiting teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Bob is moved by the Buddha's teachings about impermanence and the body. At one point, he needed to re-learn how to walk due...


07: Stress Baking with Leslie Haasch

Leslie Haasch runs Stress Baking, a blog where she shares easy-to-follow homemade recipes as well as details about her struggles with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and endometriosis. She likes to put all the highs and lows of her condition out there with a sense of humor because she believes you have to be able to laugh in the face of frustration. For Leslie, a fulfilling life is waking up and not dreading the day ahead. She believes in setting realistic expectations, setting herself up...


06: When Scars Connect Us with Romina Pacheco

Born in Venezuela, Romina Pacheco is a social justice educator currently based in New Mexico. She is also a wife, mother and thyroid cancer survivor who has been living with chronic fatigue since 2012. She's determined to live life to the fullest, even if it means taking time out to recuperate. She feels blessed for having a supportive community and takes pride in her ability to be assertive, advocate for herself, and seize the opportunities afforded to her. In this episode, she discusses...


05: Knowing Your Emotions with Brian Tohana

Brian Tohana envisions a world of belonging where most people are healed, feel whole, and are accepted for who they truly are. A transformational coach based in Ottawa, Ontario, Brian seeks meaning beyond chronic pain and guides people in aligning their actions with their beliefs. In this interview, he discusses his body's natural inclination to heal, how he was moved to work through all barriers to connections in his relationships, and how his coaching practice is intended to facilitate...