Sober Friends

Send us a text Have you ever been at a party, wedding, or holiday gathering holding a soda and felt like everyone noticed you weren’t drinking? In this episode of Sober Friends, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it’s like to be the only sober person in the room—especially early on. They dig into why sobriety can feel uncomfortable in social settings, why it’s not really about the alcohol, and how losing that “social lubricant” can make everything feel louder and more exposed. They explore the spotlight effect, identity shifts, guilt and shame from past behavior, and why being around heavy or sloppy drinking can still feel unsettling—even with time sober. Most importantly, they share practical tools that actually help: making phone calls, having an exit plan, taking action when your mind starts spiraling, and learning skills that make social situations manageable instead of overwhelming. If you’re navigating parties, holidays, weddings, or work events without alcohol—and wondering if you’re doing sobriety “wrong”—this episode is for you. You’re not weak. You’re not broken. And it does get easier. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text Pete Axthelm once said he tried to quit drinking for three days — and couldn’t cope. He died at 47, convinced that life without alcohol wasn’t survivable. That sentence stopped me cold, because for many of us, it’s painfully familiar. In this episode, Steve and I talk about why quitting alcohol feels less like a choice and more like standing at the edge of a cliff. We explore the uncomfortable truth that for many alcoholics, alcohol wasn’t just the problem — it was the solution. It was how we coped with anxiety, fear, anger, and everyday life. We unpack what actually happens in the brain when alcohol is removed, why early sobriety feels unbearable, and how alcohol lies by convincing us we can’t cope without it. We also talk about why trying to do this alone can be dangerous, when medical help may be necessary, and why the feeling that “this is how I’ll feel forever” isn’t true. Most importantly, we talk about learning to cope over time — not instantly. The 12 steps, meetings, and fellowship aren’t about willpower or perfection; they’re a slow, imperfect way to build real coping skills after years of numbing. One day at a time. One step at a time. Sometimes just borrowing someone else’s confidence until you find your own. If you’re standing at the edge, wondering how you’re supposed to live without alcohol, this conversation is for you. Check out the referenced article, highly recommended about Pete Axthelm in Sports Illustrated back in 2021. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text There’s no such thing as perfect sobriety. In this episode, Matt and Steve explore why learning from mistakes is part of the process — not a failure. They talk about comparison in recovery, changing needs over time, and how wanting things to “click faster” can quietly work against us. This is an honest conversation about patience, humility, and staying willing — even when you realize you’re still a present-day alcoholic doing the work one day at a time. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text What does “rock bottom” actually look like — and do you really have to hit it before you get sober? In this episode, Matt and Steve break down the biggest myth in recovery: that you need a dramatic collapse, a lost job, a destroyed marriage, or a trip to the ER to justify getting help. We talk about how comparison keeps people stuck (“my story isn’t as bad as theirs”), why so many of us lie to ourselves about how bad things really are, and how easy it is to miss the quieter signs that alcohol is running your life. Matt shares how his bottom wasn’t a crisis but a moment of clarity, and Steve talks about the years he spent ignoring warning signs because he wasn’t “that bad.” You’ll hear: If you’re sober-curious, questioning your drinking, or wondering if it’s “bad enough,” this episode will hit home. You don’t need to lose everything to get your life back. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text What happens when the picture-perfect life hides a private hell? In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt J sits down with Emily Redondo, author of Wife Mother Drunk: An Intergenerational Memoir of Loss and Love. Emily takes us inside her raw and unfiltered journey through addiction, motherhood, and the generational trauma that shaped her story. From pumping and dumping breast milk in rehab to uncovering family secrets that spanned decades, Emily shares what it’s like to live two lives—one for the world and one in the shadows. We talk about the shame that keeps us silent, the lies we tell ourselves, and the courage it takes to break free. If you’ve ever wondered what recovery looks like when everything feels impossible, this conversation will hit home. Emily’s story is messy, real, and full of hope. Listen now for a brutally honest look at addiction, resilience, and why telling the truth might be the most radical act of all. Click here for Emily's book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and from Emily's website. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text What do you do when your body forces you to slow down — and your mind wants to fight it? In this week’s episode, Matt and Steve dive into the real-life struggle of acceptance after Matt was sidelined by Lyme disease. No gym, no long walks, barely enough energy to get through the grocery store. It felt like life was slipping by… and the only way forward was accepting what is. Acceptance is one of the core tools of recovery. But it’s also one of the hardest. It can feel like surrender. It can feel like failure. It can feel like giving up. But as we talk about in this episode, acceptance isn’t quitting — it’s acknowledging reality so we can respond with honesty, humility, and sanity. We explore: powerlesshelplessIf you struggle with slowing down, asking for help, or accepting the things you emotionally want to resist — this episode is for you. We’d love to hear your story: What does acceptance mean in your life? Email us at matt@soberfriendspod.com or connect on soberfriendspod.substack.com Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text Turning 50 has Matt thinking about milestones — in life, in recovery, and in all the small moments that really shape who we become. In this episode, the guys dig into what “milestones” truly mean once you’ve been around a while. Sure, the chips and anniversaries matter, but the real growth often happens in the quiet, everyday wins: making an amends, showing up for someone you love, or just staying sober for another five minutes. Matt and Steve swap stories about turning points big and small — from the first brave admission of “I have a problem” to learning how to fix mistakes, do better, and build new pathways in life. Along the way, they reflect on how recovery isn’t about perfection or lofty goals, but about consistent, humble progress that adds up to a beautiful sober life. Whether you’re on day one or year twenty-eight, this episode is a reminder that the milestones that matter most often don’t come with a chip — they come from living differently, one day at a time. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text It’s Gratitude Month — but what if you don’t feel grateful? Matt and Steve talk about the kind of week that tests your patience, your sobriety, and your sanity. From corporate layoffs and sleepless nights to plumbing issues and family stress, it was one of those weeks. But a TikTok from a man recovering from cancer shifted Matt’s perspective — a reminder that gratitude isn’t about ignoring the mess, it’s about finding peace inside it. Join the guys as they explore how gratitude keeps us grounded, humble, and sober… even when life sucks. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Recoverycast: Mental Health & Addiction Recovery Stories Real talk, real recovery, actually entertaining. Find Recoverycast now. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text In this episode, Matt and Steve take a hard look at We Agnostics, one of the most debated chapters in the AA Big Book. Matt admits he’s developing a resentment toward Bill W.’s logic — from comparing God to electricity to invoking Columbus and the flat Earth. Are these inspired metaphors or just sales tactics to get the drunk to believe? The guys talk about where Bill’s arguments fall apart, why intent might matter more than accuracy, and how the idea of “contempt before investigation” still holds up today. This isn’t about bashing AA — it’s about honest recovery, critical thinking, and finding a higher power that actually makes sense to you. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text ver tell yourself, “I can’t be an alcoholic — I still have a job, a house, and a family”? This week, Matt and Steve dive into the myth of the high-functioning drinker — the person who looks like they have it all together, but is quietly falling apart on the inside. We talk about how easy it is to compare our messy insides to other people’s polished outsides, why you don’t have to hit “rock bottom” to have a problem, and how the slow decline of high-functioning drinking erodes everything from your health to your happiness. If you’ve ever said, “I’m still holding it together,” this episode is for you. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text It’s one of the most awkward moments in sobriety when someone offers you a drink and you are not sure what to say. Do you tell the truth, make an excuse, or try to explain yourself? Matt and Steve talk about those everyday situations where being sober still feels weird, like barbecues, work events, neighbors, and family get-togethers. They share their own stories, what to say and what not to say, how to keep it simple, and why most people do not care as much as we think they do. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text Sometimes forgiveness feels impossible, especially when you’re sure the other person doesn’t deserve it. In this episode, Matt and Steve dive into the messy, uncomfortable work of letting go of resentment and learning to “love on” the people who have wronged us. Inspired by CHiPs star Larry Wilcox’s story about forgiving Erik Estrada after years of bitterness, the guys talk about what forgiveness really means in recovery and how it connects to humility, prayer, and emotional sobriety. From praying for the people who make you angry to letting go of that need to be right, this episode is all about finding freedom from the poison of resentment, even when your ego fights you every step of the way. Larry Wilcox clip is from Still Here Hollywood with Steve Kmetko. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text Rebecca calls herself a “textbook alcoholic,” but her recovery journey is anything but ordinary. In this episode, she opens up about chasing the next big thing, hitting bottom, and finding freedom in sobriety. From navigating early recovery with overachiever energy (yes, she read the entire Big Book cover to cover) to surviving a literal hurricane without picking up a drink, Rebecca shares the lessons, struggles, and surprising gifts of staying sober. We talk about the myth of “normal drinking,” why comparison is the thief of joy, and how choosing to reset and surrender can actually bring more peace and freedom. Rebecca’s story is honest, raw, and full of hope for anyone still wondering if life without alcohol can be fulfilling. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text At the Big E, one of the biggest fairs in the country, I couldn’t help but notice how quickly things turned sloppy once the drinks started flowing. Being surrounded by that chaos didn’t just make me uncomfortable—it brought me back to the unpredictability and abuse I grew up with around alcohol. In this episode, Steve and I dig into why being around drunk crowds can feel so unsettling in sobriety, how our pasts shape those reactions, and the strategies we use to stay safe when the world around us is soaked in booze. If you’ve ever wondered why drinking environments hit you hard—or how to handle them without risking your recovery—you’re not alone. This is a real, honest conversation about triggers, boundaries, and what sobriety teaches us when we’re face-to-face with sloppy drunks. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text Some weeks, the world feels like too much. Shocking news, painful anniversaries, and even everyday moments can stir up old fears and anxieties. For those of us in recovery, those feelings used to send us straight to a drink or a destructive behavior. In this episode, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it’s like when the news cycle, memories of 9/11, and even walking into a school can trigger fear, stress, and overwhelm. We explore how Steps 6 and 7 — and other tools from recovery — help us let go of what we can’t control, ask for help, and find peace without picking up a drink. If you’ve ever felt shaken by the world around you, this conversation is for you. You don’t have to carry every burden — and you don’t have to face it alone. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text What really keeps people sober: faith, science, or a mix of both? In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt and Steve dive into the tension—and surprising overlap—between faith-based recovery in AA and evidence-based approaches like therapy, medication, and new medical research. Matt shares a personal struggle with restless legs and sleep issues, along with his journey using weight loss medication, which sparks a bigger conversation: Can science offer the same kind of hope and healing that prayer and spirituality do? From GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic, to meditation, to the evolving role of AA in modern recovery, this episode explores whether sobriety is best rooted in faith, science, or some combination of the two. If you’ve ever wondered whether the future of recovery looks more like a Big Book or a lab report, this conversation is for you. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was originally designed to be a sponsor in your pocket when there were no meetings to attend. So why do Matt J and Steve insist you shouldn't read it solo? In this honest conversation, they explore why this 1939 "textbook" hits different when you share it with others. From sponsor relationships to Big Book meetings, discover why interpretation matters and how hearing someone else's take on a passage can crack open meanings you've missed for years. Matt shares his EMDR therapy insights that mirror the "circle" of step work, while Steve gets real about those times when you just want to stay pissy (and why that's okay sometimes). Whether you find the Big Book boring, outdated, or life-changing—or all three—this episode breaks down why community reading transforms a difficult text into a powerful tool for recovery. Plus, learn their weekly sponsor routine and why you should always be working a step. Perfect for anyone curious about the Big Book's role in modern recovery or looking to deepen their program. Remember: it's not about reading it perfectly, it's about reading it together. This episode of The Sober Friends Podcast is brought to you by Matt W., who bought us two coffees. Thank you for helping keep the conversation going! Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt and Steve dig into Step 12 of the program: carrying the message and practicing the principles in all areas of life. They share personal stories of being welcomed into meetings, what it felt like to get help in those first shaky days, and why giving back to newcomers is essential for staying sober. From answering hotline calls to simply saying “welcome” at a meeting, Step 12 isn’t about preaching — it’s about showing up, sharing your story, and remembering that sobriety is something we can only keep if we give it away. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text We say alcohol is the problem — but for me, alcohol was the solution to something deeper. In this episode, I share my story of living with ADHD and a new diagnosis of Level 1 autism, and how both shaped my drinking and recovery. From masking in social situations to battling boredom, anxiety, and racing thoughts, I talk about why alcohol became my coping tool and what I’ve learned in sobriety about finding healthier solutions. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text Alcohol was just the symptom. Matt and Steve talk about childhood wounds, confidence, and why lasting sobriety can take more than AA. From therapy to medical care, they share the tools that keep them sober—and why it’s okay to build your own recovery path. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.