The Effin' CrunchCrew

Send us a text - Today on The Effin’ CrunchCrew, it’s just Pan Blanco, Loca Lisa, and Spook talking straight-up madness. Blanco’s wife thinks she’s Snow White—feeding every damn critter in the neighborhood, coyotes included. Blanco nearly shoots two poor Wildlife Foundation workers, then almost throws hands with some dude trying to kick his way through his Wichita front door (turns out, the house used to be a drug spot 🤦). We break down why white folks always run toward scary noises, Texas’ dumbass new law limiting sex dolls and dildos (who the hell is counting?), Deep Ellum Bob, and even the jacked-up way they cured gonorrhea in Vietnam. All this chaos, plus a big ol’ serving of Effin’ Mumble Jumble.

Send us a text -It’s Throwback Thursday on The Effin’ CrunchCrew! We start off aiming for a deep talk about the Universe—but of course Spook keeps swerving off course. Don’t worry though, we eventually get there… after a wild-ass ride through some ridiculous stops. Pan Blanco confesses his questionable hotdog fetish 🌭, we try to figure out what the hell “Hebz” even is, and Pinkie breaks down the bathroom hustle in Mexico—where 25 cents only buys you three sad lil’ pieces of toilet paper. Then comes Blanco’s mugging story… where he not only flips the script, but ends up with the mugger’s wallet and—ohhh just wait ‘til you hear what happens next. 🤯😂 Add Pinkie’s legendary “cocaine toe” into the mix and you already know it’s pure chaos. And yes… believe it or not, we finally circle back around to the damn Universe. Kinda. Sorta. Effin’-style.

Send us a text -🎙️ Today on The Effin' CrunchCrew… we’re diving into some heavy Dallas history—the Blockbuster murders of 1994. Spook’s got a personal connection to this one, since he went to school with one of the guys murdered. And get this—Spook & Loca Lisa’s cousin called in sick that night… or else he would’ve been gone too. Chills, man. We take this episode a little different—less jokes at first, more real talk—and then we spin it back CrunchCrew style. Because you know us, we can’t stay too serious too long. Blanco jumps in with his old video store job—where some creepy-ass dude would literally wait outside to chase his supervisor just because he was gay. And Spook? He’s got his own story about how he handled it back in school when some fools were planning to jump his gay cousin. Let’s just say—it didn’t go how they thought. Oh, and for the Effin’ Mumble Jumble question of the day—would you rather be locked up in prison… or homeless on the street? Yeah, we went there. All this… plus the usual mix of wild stories, dark laughs, and bad decisions—only on The Effin’ CrunchCrew!

Send us a text -🎙️ Today on The Effin' CrunchCrew… we’re taking it way back for Throwback Thursday—all the way to Season 2, Episode 26: Cruizin’ Riverchon. Back when Spook was still putting in work at KNON and later at Power 107 with the late, great Mix Master Jim Evans (R.I.P.)—weekends meant BBQs, checking out lowriders, kicking it with the homies before hitting the clubs on Saturday nights, then winding it back down on Sundays before the grind started again. And man, speaking of throwbacks—remember when Blanco got arrested as a teen for having a little mota with two of his friends? His pops was so pissed he left him sitting in jail, and his poor momma… pinche Blanco!! She didn’t even hear it from him—she found out in the damn newspaper at work. That boyee ain’t right, LMAO! Oh—and while we’re at it… Fat Joe, met him twice, and he can eat a fat fart. 🤣 Phuck opiates, though—love mota all day. Weed is healing, weed is beneficial. 🌿 All this… and a whole lotta Effin’ Mumble Jumble!

Send us a text -“Alright y’all… buckle up, ‘cause The Effin’ CrunchCrew is back in the building! First off, a big shout-out to all our listeners across the damn globe—who knew our nonsense would reach that far? Y’all sittin’ in Paris, Tokyo, Dallas, and probably some drunk dude in Oklahoma—thank you for tuning in. Now, today’s show… oh it’s a good one. We’re talking about the pettiest breakups we ever pulled—like, ‘I love you, but I’m gonna break up with you over a Post-it note’ petty. Or hittin’ somebody with that AOL ‘You’ve Got Mail’ just to say ‘You don’t got me no more.’ That level of cold-hearted. Then we’re takin’ a dark left turn, y’all—straight into the shadows—‘cause do you even know who The Dallas Ripper was? If you don’t, you about to. And of course, we got a whole mess of Effin’ Mumble Jumble sprinkled in—because what’s life without a little chaos? So grab your whiskey, grab your snacks, and let’s get into this madness.”

Send us a text -Today on The Effin’ CrunchCrew – we’re dialing up the creepy factor! 😱 Loca Lisa’s house is going off like a horror movie with alarms that won’t stop… and apparently Matt Rife owns Annabelle?! WTF?! Who even takes a demonic doll on tour?! We’re also diving into Ed & Lorraine Warren’s final Conjuring movie and the eerie real-life facts behind it. Plus – what in the cursed world are LaBuBu dolls? 🤔 We’re getting weird with the true colors of human auras (and trust us—it’s trippier than you think), and Pinkie takes us back to a chilling encounter outside her family’s Valley home years ago… one she still can’t shake. It’s ghost stories, cursed objects, creepy dolls, and a whole lotta Effin’ Mumble Jumble! 👻

Send us a text - Grandma’s Plastic Couch Covers & Carpet Runners tooUnexpected Kiss from Another Guy Loca Lisa Likes Being Tied Up?? seriousMore Family Drama Effin' Mumble Jumble You’re in for a laugh-out-loud episode with these topics! What do you think—are you ready to dive in, or are you just hyped to hear the crew's wild take on all this?

Send us a text -🎙️ Today on The Effin’ CrunchCrew... We're diving headfirst into the dark, the weird, and the downright WTF. 💥 Over 600,000 people go missing every year in America—and some stories are so twisted, you'll need a drink (or three). 😱 A so-called "family friend" turns predator, blackmailing and taking the life of a teen girl. 🛳️ A woman vanishes on a cruise and ends up trafficked at port—seen again 10 years later?! 👿 A Fort Worth pedo wants bunk beds for the kids he's planning to kidnap with his creepy-ass partner. Yeah, we went there. 👮‍♂️ Blanco gets arrested AT a job interview (talk about first impressions). 🍔 Pinkie gets gross with some fast food science—spoiler alert: that burger from a month ago still looks fresh. 🕵️‍♂️ Blanco's great-uncle got whacked by the Dallas mob over a mobster’s girl. 🛸 And yes, we even throw in some three-finger alien mummies from Peru for good measure. This episode is a spicy blend of crime, conspiracy, and questionable burgers. You’ve been warned. It’s a whole lotta Effin’ Mumble-Jumble-Jumbo!

Send us a text Throw Back Thursday - A World War hits ... Aliens attack... A pandemic wipes out a lot of the world as we know it. What would be your perfect not so perfect world given you had the power to create one? - Nuclear bombs and facilities get shut down by UFOs & No mosquitos - "Bottle-Neck Curtis?" hmmm. - Texas becoming its own country again?? - Not Just Q (sponsor) - Change your ways & stop repeating history! - Goat hunting with Big Spook ... oh my early 20's - Pan Blanco catches and cooks someone's pet catfish !! LMAO - Catfish as big as Volkswagens - And all kinds of Effin' Mumble Jumble !! NOT JUST Q We are Not Just Q – we are BBQ. When you visit our BBQ food truck or let us cater your event, you’ve

Send us a text -🎙️ Today on The Effin' CrunchCrew Spook swears he doesn’t get hangovers—but he has had alcohol poisoning… so, make that make sense. We’ve got Nick G. in the house—Spook’s lil big brotha—and he's finally telling us what it's like growing up in a freakin’ haunted house. (Spoiler: The ghosts were probably tired of them too.) Also… WTF?! Just how much of America… isn’t even America?? 👀 Yeah, we went there. Pour a drink (but maybe not too many), light some sage for the spirits, and get ready for a whole lotta Effin' Mumble Jumble!

Send us a text Sounds like you're gearing up for a wild episode of The Effin' CrunchCrew! Here’s a quick rundown of all the chaos you’re about to dive into: Grandma’s Plastic Couch Covers & Carpet Runners tooUnexpected Kiss from Another Guy Loca Lisa Likes Being Tied Up?? seriousMore Family Drama Effin' Mumble Jumble You’re in for a laugh-out-loud episode with these topics! What do you think—are you ready to dive in, or are you just hyped to hear the crew's wild take on all this?S3-Epi 50

Send us a text -🎙️ Today on The Effin' CrunchCrew... "Burp a Fart & Colostomy Pimps??!" Yeah... you read that right. Somebody said “Burp a fart” and things went downhill from there. Then we deep-dive into the wild world of pimping out a colostomy hole—yup, folks out here turning medical necessities into OnlyFans side hustles. And just when you thought it couldn’t get weirder... We ask the real damn questions: Can’t you just die and get on with it? What’s the actual point of Purgatory—a layover for souls with too many unpaid parking tickets? It’s another chaotic ride through the Effin’ Mumble Jumble—where logic dies, farts testify, and Spook probably offends at least three religions. Grab your sage and a barf bag—this one’s unholy. Let’s get Effin' weird.

Send us a text -🎙️ Today on The Effin’ CrunchCrew “To Pee or Not to Pee… That Is the Disclaimer?” Y’all… it got weird. Real weird. The age-old debate: is it midgets or little people—and why does Pan Blanco keep looking guilty like we’re talking about his short ass? Special guest alert: filling in for Pinkie is none other than Spook’s sister, Barbara Jean—aka BJ (yes, that’s her real nickname and yes, we made it inappropriate immediately). She's Loca Lisa’s cousin, so you know the family tea is piping hot. Also: 🌀 The Wizard of Oz? A lie. 🥋 The Karate Kid? Manipulative nonsense. 👀 Is there such a thing as a fear of little people or are we just horrible humans? 🥴 And what the hell is “BJ’s Revenge”? (Hint: it involves tequila, glitter, and a restraining order.) All this and a whole damn mess of Effin’ Mumble Jumble. You’ve been warned. Again.

Send us a text -🎙️ Today on The Effin’ CrunchCrew… Ever been cheated on? Well, buckle up — because one of our own CrunchCrew ladies caught her new “Mr. Right” rockin’ a wedding ring and a newborn… and didn’t even know it. Shoutout to the savage Facebook group that blew up his double life like a firework on the 4th. Then Spook takes us back to when he and another dude accidentally teamed up to bust his live-in girl playing both of them — and yes, her clothes were neatly packed and waiting on the porch. Bye boo 👋 Plus… Loca Lisa confesses something about handcuffs (again), and we dive into an AITA from a woman asking if she’s wrong for telling her grown-ass man to WIPE. HIS. ASS. 🤦‍♀️🧻 All this and a whole bunch of that sweet, unfiltered, unpredictable Effin’ Mumble Jumble!

Send us a text -🎙️ Today on The Effin' CrunchCrew... We dive headfirst into the twisted tale of Couples Who Slay Together, starting with the real-life nightmares: Paul Bernardo & Karla Homolka—aka the Ken & Barbie killers. Love, blood, and some seriously effed up honeymoon vibes. Then... ever tried to sell your farts in a jar on eBay? Somebody has. And somebody bought them. We ask the real questions: Is it next to your poop knife, or do you keep that in a more... sacred drawer? PLUS: AITA? A woman says she’ll dump her man if he doesn’t start wiping his ass. Yes, you read that right. Grown ass man. Grown ass... not being wiped. 🧻🚨 Get ready for all that and a whole bunch of Effin' Mumble Jumble that will make your therapist ask if you're okay. (We’re not.) 💩💨🔪 Tune in, wipe front to back, and buckle up.

Send us a text -Today on The Effin' CrunchCrew: 🔪💩 We’re diggin’ up bodies and talkin’ about bowels—because why the hell not? We’re resurrecting our “Women Serial Killers” series with none other than Belle Gunness: the OG Black Widow of the Midwest, who didn’t just ghost her lovers… she buried them. Literally. But wait—ever heard of a poop knife? Yeah… we hadn’t either. But now we can’t un-hear it, and neither will you. From murder to mystery meat to questionable bathroom tools, we cover it all with our signature mix of dark humor, adult language, and zero filter. Add in a whole lotta Effin' Mumble Jumble, and you’ve got an episode that’s part true crime, part toilet talk, and all kinds of wrong in the best damn way. Listener warning: You’re gonna need a strong stomach and maybe your own poop knife.

Send us a text 🎙️Today on The Effin CrunchCrew: Things get dark, greasy, and straight-up WTF?! Bryan Kohberger pleads guilty to slaughtering 4 Idaho students—just to dodge the death penalty? We’re talkin’ justice or just BS? Meanwhile, Diddy’s out here catching wrist taps instead of real time behind bars—and we still don’t know what the hell the baby oil was for... 👀💦 And in a real-life Disney horror story—a 5-year-old girl falls off a cruise ship, and guess who's the genius that sat her on the railing? Yep... Dad of the Year material. Plus, it’s a full house: Big Spook, Pinkie, Loca Lisa, and Pan Blanco are all in the building bringing the heat and the Effin’ Mumble Jumble you crave! Buckle up—this one’s raw, real, and ridiculous. Only on The Effin CrunchCrew. 🎧🔥

Send us a text

Send us a text

Send us a text