The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing well being and study

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Your Wellbeing and Study, Liz and Plia explore people pleasing as a deeply learned pattern rooted in our need for safety, connection, and belonging—rather than a personality flaw. We unpack common signs like difficulty saying no, fear of conflict, and tying self-worth to others’ approval, while also exploring how early experiences, cultural expectations, and the nervous system (including the “fawn” response) can shape these behaviours over time. We talk about the difference between healthy, choice-based kindness and fear-driven people pleasing that can lead to burnout, resentment, and disconnection from self. Importantly, we share practical, compassionate strategies for change. If this resonates, you can explore more about the fawn response in Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker (https://pete-walker.com/complex_ptsd_book.html), and read about why “just setting boundaries” can be difficult via Safe Space Counselling Why You Can’t Just Say No - People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response, or learn more about self-compassion through Kristin Neff at https://self-compassion.org.

Burnout isn’t just being tired — it’s what happens when stress builds up faster than you can recover. In this episode, Liz, Plia and Melissa unpack what burnout really is, how to spot the early signs, and why it’s become such a common experience for students, carers, and anyone juggling too much. We explore: Burnout isn’t a personal failure. It’s your body asking for relief — and there are ways back to balance. 🔗 Related Episodes Perfectly Imperfect - Embracing Flaws and Finding Balance https://open.spotify.com/episode/0PpLCLtQt7u0eshvjU38Kw?si=d3c283d5a4b440a2 Unwind and Stress Less: Stress Management 101 https://open.spotify.com/episode/4V60tLWnTxuY1YnB2QNuTb?si=c9d83a17f3544adb

Financial stress is something many students experience, and it can affect mental health, physical wellbeing, motivation, and academic performance. In this episode of The Counselling Armchair, Liz, Melissa and Plia are joined by Malcolm and Katie from Student Welfare to discuss why money stress is so common, how it shows up for students, and what practical steps and supports can help. The conversation covers budgeting, fees and debt, placement-related financial pressure, fines, scams, impulsive spending, and the importance of reaching out early for support. Students are reminded that they don’t need to be in crisis to ask for help, and that free, confidential support is available both within and outside the university. RMIT Student Welfare – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/student-support/student-welfare RMIT Connect – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-and-facilities/student-support/connect RMIT Financial Assistance & Hardship Grants – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/student-support/financial-support RMIT Counselling Service – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/student-support/counselling RMIT Study Support – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/study-support Work and Development Permit (Victoria) – https://www.justice.vic.gov.au/fines/work-and-development-permits Fines Victoria – https://online.fines.vic.gov.au Centrelink (Youth Allowance, Austudy, Rent Assistance) – https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/students Commonwealth Prac Payment – https://www.education.gov.au/commonwealth-prac-payment National Debt Helpline (Free Financial Counselling) – https://ndh.org.au Salvation Army MoneyCare – https://www.salvationarmy.org.au/moneycare Ask Izzy (Food, housing, money help) – https://askizzy.org.au Study Melbourne Hub (International Students) – https://www.studymelbourne.vic.gov.au Scamwatch – https://www.scamwatch.gov.au

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair, Liz, Melissa and Plia explore what it’s like to live “between two worlds” for international students and first- and second-generation migrants. We talk with guests Sam Zhong and Gunjan Kaur about family pressure, cultural expectations, secrecy as a coping strategy, identity, relationships, and how to find balance without feeling like you’re rejecting your culture. If you’re navigating cultural pressure, generational tension, or trying to carve out your own path, this episode offers compassionate insight and practical support. Helpful links: RMIT Counselling: rmit.edu.au/counselling RMIT Financial Support: rmit.edu.au/financial-support QLife (LGBTQIA+ support): qlife.org.au Headspace: headspace.org.au

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Your Wellbeing and Study, Liz and new co-host team member Plia Caspi are joined by counsellor Ruby Krupka to discuss intimate partner violence (IPV) — what it looks like, how it affects wellbeing and study, and how people can seek help or support others safely. Together, they unpack the patterns of abuse, and the challenges people face in recognising and leaving unsafe relationships. The team also explores recovery, rebuilding confidence, and where to find confidential support both within and beyond RMIT. If you or someone you know is in danger, please call 000. If it’s not safe to speak, you can use the Silent Call option by dialling 000, then pressing 55. 1800RESPECT – National sexual assault, domestic and family violence service 📞 1800 737 732 | 🌐 1800respect.org.au Safe Steps – Victoria’s 24/7 family violence response centre 📞 1800 015 188 | 🌐 safesteps.org.au The Orange Door – Free family violence and wellbeing support service across Victoria 🌐 orangedoor.vic.gov.au Lifeline – 24-hour crisis support 📞 13 11 14 | 🌐 lifeline.org.au MensLine Australia – Support for men experiencing relationship or family violence issues 📞 1300 789 978 | 🌐 mensline.org.au Kids Helpline – Support for young people under 25 📞 1800 55 1800 | 🌐 kidshelpline.com.au inTouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence – Support for people from culturally diverse backgrounds 🌐 intouch.org.au Centre Against Sexual Assault (CASA) – Specialist trauma counselling and advocacy 🌐 casa.org.au Victoria Legal Aid – Free legal information and advice 🌐 legalaid.vic.gov.au Safer Community – Support for experiences of violence, sexual harm, or concerning behaviour. 📞 (03) 9925 2396 | 🌐 rmit.edu.au/safercommunity Counselling & Psychological Services (CAPS) – Free, confidential short-term counselling for students. 📞 (03) 9925 5000 | After-hours: 1300 305 737 Student Legal Service – Free legal advice for students. 🌐 rmit.edu.au/students/support-and-facilities/student-legal-service Student Support Advisors – Help with financial, accommodation, and academic issues. Chaplaincy – Confidential spiritual and emotional support for students of all faiths. If you need to store evidence (texts, screenshots, or photos) securely — without keeping them on your phone’s main gallery or messaging apps — these tools can help: Arc App (1800RESPECT) – Free and secure app for safely recording patterns of abuse and storing evidence. 🌐 arcapp.org.au Safety Net Australia (WESNET) – Offers digital safety tips and information about secure apps. 🌐 techsafety.org.au Be Safe App (Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria) – Personalised safety planning tool. 🌐 besafeapp.org.au SmartSafe+ – Secure evidence storage app (by WESNET). Designed for people experiencing tech-based abuse. 🌐 smartsafe.org.au 🟣 Important tip: If you’re using safety or evidence apps, consider setting up a PIN lock and disguised app name if possible. Always delete browser history after visiting support sites if your device is being monitored. IPV isn’t always physical — it can include emotional, financial, sexual, and psychological abuse. Leaving can be complex and dangerous — safety planning and professional support are crucial. You are never to blame for someone else’s choice to control or harm you. Support and recovery are possible — you don’t have to face it alone. Power and Control Wheel – Understanding patterns of abuse. Cycle of Violence diagram – DVRCV eSafety Commissioner – Technology and abuse The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Your Wellbeing and Study is available on all major podcast platforms. Subscribe, share, and leave a review to help others find support and hope. ⚠️ If You Need Immediate Support💜 24/7 Support Services🎓 RMIT Support Options📱 Helpful Safety and Record-Keeping Apps🕊️ Key Takeaways💡 Additional Resources🎧 Listen and Subscribe

This bonus episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Wellbeing and Study offers a short guided practice to help you feel steadier and more connected during uncertain times. Psychologist Michael Swadling leads you through an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) exercise designed to: Help you drop anchor in the present moment Reconnect with your values—the things that matter most to you Create a gentle sense of calm and steadiness even when life feels overwhelming This exercise pairs beautifully with our full episode, “How to Look After Yourself When the World Feels Heavy,” but you can also use it anytime you need a brief moment of grounding and self-care. Safety note: Please listen when you can give it your full attention—not while driving or doing anything that requires focus. Resources mentioned: RMIT Ways of Wellbeing ACT Conversations Guide

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Wellbeing and Study, Liz speaks with psychologist Michael Swadling about how to protect your mental health when the news feels overwhelming and the future uncertain. From climate change to conflict and economic pressures, it’s easy to feel weighed down by global challenges. Michael explains how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and the RMIT Ways of Wellbeing can help us stay grounded, focus on what’s within our control, and take small, meaningful steps that align with our values. We explore: What wellbeing really means—and why it’s not about feeling happy all the time How to stay informed without burning out Practical ACT tools and the importance of routine, connection, and small actions that reflect your values How self-care can be an act of strength, not selfishness Balancing activism, study, and life without falling into burnout Whether you’re feeling anxious about the world or just need strategies to stay steady through uncertainty, this episode offers practical, compassionate guidance to help you care for yourself and keep moving toward what matters most. Resources mentioned: RMIT Ways of Wellbeing ACT Conversations Guide The Unbreakable Student by Nic Hooper

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair, Liz and Melissa sit down with intern psychologist Joshua Boardman for a thoughtful conversation about coercive control—a form of emotional and psychological abuse that can occur in many types of relationships. Together, we discuss how it can appear, why it may be difficult to recognise, and what safe steps people can take if they have concerns. Content note: This episode contains discussion of emotional abuse. Please listen with care, and remember that support is available through the services listed below. Understanding what coercive control is Common behaviours such as love bombing, gaslighting, and guilt-tripping Misconceptions and vulnerability factors Green flags in healthy relationships Where to find support and how to plan safely 1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 RMIT Student Support – 1300 305 737 / Text: 0488 884 162 The Shark Cage® – Ursula Benstead: Educational metaphor for understanding boundaries and safety Victoria Police & Crime Stoppers Victoria Podcast: Coercive control and family violence NSW Government – Coercive Control Resources: Easy-read guides, translations, and support info eSafety Commissioner – Coercive Control Info Sheet: Focus on technology-based coercion among young people Attorney-General’s Department – National Principles on Coercive Control: Fact sheets, videos, and community resources Compass – Coercive Control Resource Hub: Central access point for education and services AIHW – Coercive Control Insights: Data and information on impacts in families Safer Families Centre – Toolkit: Examples and tools for professionals ACT Government Resources: Multilingual guides and local supports Financial Independence Hub – Good Shepherd | 📞 1300 050 150 Leaving Violence Program – DSS | 📞 1800 253 283 Anglicare Victoria – Family Violence Financial Counselling Women’s Legal Service Victoria | 📞 1800 133 302 1800RESPECT – Financial Abuse Toolkit | 📞 1800 737 732 👉 This episode is for educational purposes only. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please reach out to one of the support services above. Key TopicsSupport ServicesFurther Resources (Educational)Financial & Legal Supports

In this honest and supportive episode, we explore the often-taboo topics of suicidal thoughts and self-harm. You’ll hear why these thoughts can emerge, how to manage overwhelming feelings, what support looks like, and how to respond with care—whether it’s for yourself or someone you know. Our guest, Kelsi Bartzis, shares insights from her work with students at RMIT Counselling, and Liz and Melissa offer real-world tips on managing distress, recognising warning signs, and creating space for hope and recovery. Understanding why suicidal thoughts and self-harm happen What the thoughts mean (and what they don’t) How to tell when it’s time to reach out Grounding techniques for intense emotions How to be there for someone in crisis Recovery, hope, and what healing really looks like The link between suicidal ideation and self-injury Helpful alternatives to self-harm Medication and therapy: how they work together If you or someone you know needs help, reach out: RMIT Urgent Mental Health Support 📞 1300 305 737 or 💬 Text 0488 884 162 Lifeline – 13 11 14 | lifeline.org.au Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636 | beyondblue.org.au Kids Helpline (Ages 5–25) – 1800 55 1800 | kidshelpline.com.au If you or someone you care about is thinking about suicide, safety planning can help reduce risk and increase support. Explore the Beyond Now Safety Planning App by Beyond Blue: 👉 beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning Available on: 📱 iOS App Store 📱 Google Play Store You don’t need to have all the answers to begin healing. You just need to know: You are not alone Your life matters There is hope You can get through this Support is always available 🎧 Subscribe to The Counselling Armchair for more episodes that support your mental wellbeing and study journey.

In this episode, Liz and Melissa talk to intern psychologist Charlie Chick about what makes relationships healthy, respectful and emotionally safe — whether you're dating, in a long-term partnership, or navigating modern dating culture. They discuss communication pitfalls, emotional safety, boundaries, consent, and knowing when to walk away. Here are some useful links for listeners who want to dive deeper into this topic (includes support options): 1800RESPECT – Healthy Relationships ReachOut – What makes a good relationship? The Line – Respectful relationships for young people eSafety Commissioner – Online Dating & Safety Headspace – Navigating relationships and breakups Kids Helpline – Dating & Relationships Relationships Australia – Communication & Conflict Respect.gov.au – Signs of Respect and Control Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria – Planning to Leave Safely Lifeline – 13 11 14 | www.lifeline.org.au 1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | www.1800respect.org.au RMIT CAPS (for RMIT students) – rmit.edu.au/caps

In this episode, we're tackling a challenge every student can relate to—staying motivated and focused. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck in procrastination mode, or simply unsure where to begin, psychologist Alicia Walker helps unpack motivation, why it fluctuates, what gets in the way of staying focused and shares practical tips to boost your motivation and improve your study focus Here are some of the apps and resources mentioned in the episode: Tomato Timer – A simple online Pomodoro-style timer. Focus To-Do: Pomodoro & Tasks (Android) – Combines task management with Pomodoro. Tomato Timer (iOS) – Customisable timer on the App Store. Forest App – Stay off your phone and grow a virtual tree as you stay focused. iOS Version Android Version Chrome Extension Freedom – Block apps and websites across devices. Cold Turkey – Block distractions even offline. StayFocusd (Chrome) – Limit time on specific websites. LeechBlock NG – Customisable browser-based blocker for Firefox and Chrome. AppBlock (Android) – Set up profiles to block apps at scheduled times. FocusMe – Full-feature productivity app with timers and focus tracking. ✔️ “Motivation is nice but not necessary to start something.” ✔️ Action builds momentum—start with 5 minutes. ✔️ Break down big tasks and schedule your day like you would a job. ✔️ Use tools and strategies to create an environment where you can thrive. ✔️ Rest is not optional—sleep, movement, and downtime fuel your focus. If you’re feeling stuck, remember you’re not alone. Speak with a friend, connect with a mentor, or reach out to professional services like RMIT Counselling and Psychological services if you are an RMIT student. If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend or classmate. Every little bit helps us reach others who might need this conversation too. Thanks for joining us on The Counselling Armchair—see you next time!

In this episode, we explore the field of positive psychology and how it can help us cultivate resilience, enhance happiness, and improve overall mental health. Understanding positive psychology and how it differs from traditional psychological approaches. The science of happiness: what contributes most to well-being? The happiness set point and how intentional activities can boost happiness. The PERMA model: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment. Evidence-based positive psychology practices, including gratitude, savouring, and strengths-based approaches. The role of fun and play in fostering mental well-being. Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG): finding meaning and resilience after adversity. To discover your unique strengths and learn how to apply them in daily life, take the VIA Signature Strengths Survey by the VIA Institute on Character: https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register Positive psychology isn’t about ignoring life’s challenges but rather about using strengths-based and evidence-backed strategies to improve our well-being. Small, intentional shifts in mindset and behaviour can have a profound impact on our happiness and mental health. If you found this episode valuable, consider sharing it with a friend or colleague who might benefit. And don’t forget to subscribe for more insightful conversations on mental health and personal growth! Until next time, take care, be kind to yourself, and remember—you are not alone in this journey! Episode Highlights:Resources Mentioned:Takeaway Message:

Episode Overview: In this episode, Liz and Melissa explore a topic that often flies under the radar but impacts many: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). We dive into what RSD is, how it can affect individuals and their relationships, and practical ways to manage it. Whether you experience RSD or support someone who does, this episode offers valuable insights and strategies to navigate its challenges. Links and tips for self-care when supporting someone with RSD. Living with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria10 Key Differences Between RSD and Normal SensitivityHow to Deal with Rejection Sensitive DysphoriaDr. William DodsonRSD Journal Bundle If this episode resonated with you, don’t forget to subscribe to The Counselling Armchair, leave a review, and share it with someone who could benefit from these insights. For additional tools, links, and updates, follow us on your favorite podcast platform or visit our website. Until next time, take care and be kind to yourself! Key Topics Covered:Resources Mentioned:Join the Conversation:

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Wellbeing and Study, hosts Liz and Melissa are joined by RMIT counsellor Emma Abeyaratne to explore the power of self-compassion. Many of us are familiar with the relentless inner critic that harshly judges our every move. Whether it’s self-criticism or external judgments, these negative voices can significantly impact our self-esteem. But what if we could respond to ourselves with the same kindness we’d extend to a friend? Emma discusses the concept of self-compassion as a transformative approach to managing low self-esteem, harsh self-criticism, and feelings of shame. We delve into practical strategies to quiet the inner critic, build a more compassionate inner dialogue, and develop both tender and fierce self-compassion. Resources Mentioned in This Episode self-compassion.orgRMIT Student Counselling

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair, we explore the impact of loneliness and how to cultivate meaningful social connections in a world that can often feel isolating. Loneliness can affect us all at various points in life, but with the right tools and mindset, we can build supportive communities and find our own tribe. Join us as we discuss practical strategies to overcome loneliness, from joining local groups and clubs to using technology to meet like-minded individuals. Whether you're feeling disconnected due to study, work, or life transitions, this episode offers insight into how you can start building meaningful connections today. What We’ll Cover: Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Meetup.com – Find local groups based on your interests Friendship and Social Connection Apps Bumble BFFMeet new friends nearbyHey! VINAEmpowering women to connectPatookConnect platonically with people nearbyRMIT Kirrip Program – Create connections with fellow students RMIT Student Union Clubs and Events – Explore student-run clubs and upcoming events Get in Touch: If you enjoyed this episode or have ideas for future topics, we’d love to hear from you! Connect with us on social media or drop us an email. Subscribe & Review: Don’t forget to subscribe to The Counselling Armchair on your favorite podcast platform. If you found today’s discussion helpful, please leave a review—it helps others discover the podcast and join our community.

In today's episode, we dive deep into the influences on masculine identity, examining how traditional masculine norms can create unrealistic and restrictive expectations. These norms often impact mental health, relationships, and overall well-being, not just for men but for those around them. We discuss the importance of understanding and challenging these norms to foster healthier, more inclusive expressions of masculinity. By questioning harmful expectations, seeking out diverse role models, and advocating for change on a personal and community level, we can contribute to better mental health outcomes and more fulfilling lives. Resources Mentioned: Podcast Recommendation: If you enjoyed this episode, we highly recommend listening to "The Imperfects," an Australian podcast hosted by three incredible men who explore concepts of vulnerability, imperfection, and mental health. https://www.instagram.com/p/C-HqiiEzaah/?igsh=MWdjd3A1Nzlub3h1bw== https://youtu.be/dSwfo-gP8EE?feature=shared If you found today's episode helpful, please subscribe to our podcast and leave us a review. Your feedback helps us continue to bring you valuable content. Closing Thoughts: Thank you once again for tuning in. Until next time, take care and be kind to yourself.

In this episode, we talk with clinical psychologist Jennifer Kemp about understanding and managing your unique neurodivergence, whether you have ADHD, Autism or AuDHD. Jennifer shares with us her tips for handling challenges that neurodivergent people may encounter, address chronic burnout, and manage overwhelming emotions. We also discuss self-acceptance, self compassion and developing safe and supportive relationships with your “Neurokin”. With the recent release of her book (co-authored with Monique Mitchelson) titled “The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate”, Jennifer has both lived experience and up to date knowledge about navigating the world with neurodivergence to help you thrive. For more information or to buy her book, visit here: https://jenniferkemp.com.au/publications/

In today's episode, we sit down with Clinical Psychologist and author Jennifer Kemp to delve into the complex world of perfectionism. Jennifer shares her expert insights on the roots of perfectionism, its impact on mental health, and practical strategies to overcome it. We discuss her latest book, which offers a compassionate guide to breaking free from the perfectionism trap and embracing a more balanced, fulfilling life. For more information and to order Jennifer Kemp's book, visit her website at www.jenniferkemp.com.

In today's episode, "Anxiety Antidotes: Tackling Avoidance with Confidence," we're diving deep into the world of anxiety and avoidance. University students often face a unique set of challenges, and anxiety can sometimes feel like an unwelcome companion. We'll explore practical strategies to combat avoidance behaviors and share insights on managing anxiety. Whether you're struggling with procrastination, social anxiety, or just the everyday stress of student life, this episode is packed with tips and advice to help you face your fears with confidence. Links to helpful resources: https://www.bevaisbettartofanxiety.com/ https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/health-safety-wellbeing/mental-health-counselling/counselling

In today's episode, Ruth joins Liz for chat about stress management. We all experience stress at some point in our lives and so the skill of managing our stress to minimise its impact on us is something we all need to develop. From calming our nervous system, to learning to say no and fostering self compassion, we'll provide you with ideas to navigate stress and reclaim your inner calm.